Getting Ready....4 weeks to go!

Submitted by canadianmama on July 7, 2010 - 5:03pm
Body: 

Just wanted to seek out some of the mom's who have had babies after finding prolapse. We are about 4 weeks away from delivering #4. The pregnancy has been good, pretty much symptom free. But, now that we are getting closer to having the baby, I am starting to feel a little nervous (seems for me prolapse is more a head issue), and just wanted to seek out some thoughts on ways to prepare for this little ones arrival and labour/delivery tips. And some reminders for the first little bit post partum.

We have just moved to Central America a week ago, and are doing lots of settling in so I am experiencing lots of different life stress right now. My SWW book had to stay at home as we didn't have enough packing room so I will be lots on the forum.

I am encouraged as I remember both Gmom and Alemama saying things were actually better after subsequent babies. In 'not pregnant life', my cervix hangs out about 4cm in, and before we got pregnant I would have a rectocele mostly only around the time of my period. I was 19 mos when I got pregnant last time (our surprise!)

So....any thoughts on
~preparing for birth
~birthing positions (thinking I like the idea of hands and knees or left laying)
~encouraging reminders about the first bit of pp time
~how to encourage my uterus to remain tilted the right way and not revert back
~what to start off with after birth (exercises etc)

Thanks so much! Just needing a boost of encouragement as we prepare for this!

aza

July 7, 2010 - 6:23pm

Most private midwives cover all you are asking and more over the course of a pregnancy...do you have any available to you?

canadianmama

July 8, 2010 - 7:47pm

Aza-

We are in a new country, trying to settle three children 5 and under, learn a new culture, learn a language, start a household and finish a pregnancy all in a country with an 80% c-section rate. Finding a midwife to talk to is beyond possible right now!

Over the past two years, I have read lots on this forum from women who have discovered prolapse and gone on to have babies and have offered lots of little pieces of advice (granolamom and alemama are two I have read much about)...I just don't have time right now to go combing through all the archives to seek this out again, which is why I felt like I wanted to post.

I am hoping to hear from their experience, wisdom and encouragement. Especially encouragement right now as I don't want fear about the delivery and post-partum to rob me of the joy of this little one's arrival.

I don't mean to sound grumpy about it, I just don't want to be brushed off by a community that tends to be so very supportive. There are so many amazing stories of recovery and of how women have managed birth, I wish there was an easier way for women to access the encouraging info when needed!!

Thanks!

granolamom

July 8, 2010 - 8:42pm

hi canadianmama
as you know, I've had two babies since finding my cystocele (and probably also urethrocele, rectocele and slightly lower than normal cervix, but I'm ignoring all of those, lol).
after my fourth baby, it got even better than my pre pg baseline because I had started to incorporate nauli regularly. I will admit that I'm lazy about that now, my fifth baby is now 8 mo and honestly, aside from posture, I do nothing for my prolapses. I'm at my prepg baseline aside from a bit of bulginess around ovulation. I'm fairly confident that if I got back into nauli and firebreathing I'd see even more improvement. and I plan to do that as soon as I find my pp equilibrium, that takes me a while.

so here are my thoughts.
preparing for birth......lots of visualization of how you WANT it to go. do some thinking about how you will advocate for yourself, doesn't sound like the most supportive place to birth naturally and actively, but I"m imagining that's what you want to do. so think about what you will say to naysayers. is your dh able to advocate on your behalf too? talk to him about it. lots of self talk, tell your body how strong it is, how able to safely bring this child into the world, how you need it to let you know how to protect your POP. sounds silly, but that's what I do and you asked for my thoughts : )

birthing positions: I had my last two babies on hands/knees. I found that this helped my bladder stay out of the way. interestingly, you know how they talk about 'rectal pressure' like how moms feel a strong urge to poo right before the baby crowns? well with my last two, I felt instead a strong urge to PEE. assuming that was due to all the pressure on the bladder. and I was drinking tons of water but was not able to pee until right after the baby was born. both times. just saying as an aside.
stay off your back. stay away from the full squat (like on a birthing stool. though I think a squat with your bum sticking out -rather than hanging down between your feet- is probably ok if you're comfortable that way).

keeping your uterus anteverted- not sure. I guess in theory, staying upright as much as possible postpartum or lying on your belly if your breasts allow it. posture, posture, posture.

exercise after birth: well, you want to respect your pp body and dont' go rushing off to do too much. eat well, rest well. get up and stretch into posture as soon as you can. try not to slump too much while bf, I liked to bf sidelying in bed in the beginning.
I didn't start with firebreathing and nauli until all lochia stopped because I found it increased the bleeding.
spend some time on hands/knees and gently arch/curve your back tilting your pelvis this way and that. the pg spine gets soooo tight.
downward dog and childs pose felt good also.

bottom line, I didn't find that the pg/birth made any long term difference in my prolapses. focus on taking care of yourself and you'll likely be fine.
enjoy the rest of your pg if you can and keep us posted!

aza

July 8, 2010 - 9:06pm

No worries, Canadianmama...I was in no way trying to brush you off, though I can see how it might have come across that way. i was just trying to get a better sense of where you are coming from, and now we know. Sounds very full on to say the least, but I stand by the statement that it would be ideal to have someone local to help you navigate through as much as you can, particularly given your circumstances. If you would like to share your location I am happy to put some time and energy into finding someone local. It is a small world these days with electronic communication and there are pockets of people everywhere who would be drawn to support someone with exactly what you are asking for.

louiseds

July 9, 2010 - 4:51am

Hi Canadianmama

I think you should take Aza up on her offer, because I can see that you feel a bit unsupported, and are carrying a lot of other responsibilities and difficulties at the moment. Nobody will push you into anything with the birth, but it might be helpful to have a midwife to refer to, to look after you for these last few weeks, and to help you decide what to do (kind of like a trusted and knowledgeable auntie; somebody who knows the local territory).

Thiinking of you.

Louise

kathy2124

July 10, 2010 - 1:03pm

Hi,

I live in a country where birthing naturaly and doing what your body wants to do is looked down upon. In fact when I said I wanted to birth on all fours they called an hospital staff meeting... However in the end I did find someone who may not have agreed with my decisions but did support me with them.

The most important thing for me has been to listen to my body and not compare myself to other women who are post partum. The other thing that has saved me greatly has been having the ability to adapt. The house might not be as clean as I like it... But taking care of me needs to be a bit more of a priority.

Laying on my side playing with the kids on the floor, keeping my posture up... But not stressing on the immediate moment knowing my pop will have a lot of healing happen in the next 90 days. I have been here before and my body recovered nicely, so will it again.

I did not push, I did the hypno birth thing... Worked great! I was thrilled with the results. I originally wanted to give birth on my knees, everything happed very fast and I gave birth on my left side.

Trust your instincts and your body. You will do great!

louiseds

July 10, 2010 - 11:37pm

Hi Kathy

You sound like you have a very commonsense approach. I caused the same sort of ructions at our regional hospital when I birthed our third baby. This was rural Western Australia in 1987. I thought the world had moved on a bit, but sadly not, it seems.

Canadianmama, if you decide to go for a hospital birth I suggest that you go and see the Labour Ward staff well before you go into labour and tell them what you are likely to be doing during the labour, so you don't take them by surprise during the labour, and send them into a spin, and risk getting yourself upset at a time when you need to be calm and focussed.

I would also ensure that you tell them in an assertive way (rather than asking if it is OK), and with full knowledge of what you are planning, so they don't think you are a hot-headed idealist, but rather know that you are a well-earthed woman who knows her stuff.

This birth will be your family's birth, not theirs. Giving birth on all fours, or bringing your own (clean) equipment if they cannot provide it is quite reasonable, in my opinion. If it was reasonable in 1987 in rural Western Australia, then it is reasonable in 2010, wherever you are.

I do hope you are able to come to a satisfactory arrangement where you will be attended in a supportive environment, by midwives who are as committed to active vaginal birth as you are.

Louise

canadianmama

July 11, 2010 - 4:36pm

Thanks for all your thoughts and suggestions! I appreciate them all!

Despite the high section rate here in Costa Rica, we've found a doc who is very willing to go with our birth plan and to accomodate our wishes. When we were in to see him, I was very straight forward about what we wanted to do (probably a little too forceful!), and how we wanted to do it and his only request is that we send our plan to him so he has it. Normally labour and delivery take place in separate rooms, but he is willing to let us do both in one so we don't have to change.

We've had three totally unmedicated, unassisted births, and the nurses (in 3 different hospitals) have always commented on how much they enjoyed seeing us labour together, they felt they didn't even need to be there...that we just did our own thing until we needed someone to "catch" the baby. I realize that I have a tendency to push too hard...(type A goal-oriented) 2-3 pushes and baby is out (although I don't know if I could not push if I tried!). And, that I have always gravitated to delivering in a half sitting/reclining position (that has just felt most comfortable for those last few moments). Keeping both of those in mind as I have been thinking through how we'd like this one to go. Tore 2nd degree with first baby and minor tears with the second two and am hopefully going to avoid that this time! I do trust my body to both birth and to heal afterwards. I believe firmly that a woman's body is made to have babies and to recover...I just want to make sure I recover well!

We visited the hospital and the nurses are all very kind and willing to work with whatever the doc and I have agreed on. Midwives aren't really legal here so that isn't too much of an option! C-sections are fashionable and we are excited to show them that a natural birth is an amazing incredible experience!

I have had no symptoms during this pregnancy (short of early constipation)...everything is pulled up so tight now, I feel a little discouraged knowing that things will sag down afterwards at least initially. But I stashed my super-woman cape after the last birth and am planning to try and take it as easy as I can!!

I am trying to prepare myself mentally to be patient and let my body heal as it needs to...there is just the lingering fear that things will be even worse than last time. What is helpful for me to remember is that I've spent the past nine months trying to maintain posture, trying not to strain, doing all the WW things...so hopefully my WW body will revert back quickly and beautifully and recovery will be faster than last time!

louiseds

July 12, 2010 - 5:28am

That is wonderful news Kathy. I am so looking forward to hearing how you go. I don't know a lot about Costa Rica. Is it an affluent place? Sometimes health professionals make assumptions about what is culturally appropriate for women who have education and literacy, and lead a sophisticated lifestyle, but they have another set of cultural norms for 'the locals'. I am so glad you came clean and let the doctor know what you want. Sometimes that is all a doctor needs to encourage a woman to have a healthy natural birthing experience, and it sounds like he is very willing, if a bit surprised! You could have received a much worse response than you did!

Louise

granolamom

July 13, 2010 - 9:01pm

you sound so glowingly positive, canadianmama. I have no doubts that you will show them how wonderful natural childbirth can be.
and honestly, I barely noticed initial sagging after this last baby. it was like, whatever, y'know? same category as leaky breasts. I know in my head that it must've happened, but it just didn't register on my stress-o-meter. because I'd been through it before and trusted that it would be ok with time. and it is! and you'll be fine too : )

alemama

July 22, 2010 - 9:49pm

you sound like the perfect candidate for unassisted birth :)

so positions: yes to hands and knees, yes to semi- squat, yes to side-lying. NOPE to semi-reclined.
With our last birth I did knees- spaced wide- back arched- looking up- arms flung out-
it was what worked at the time :) it was def not the plan.
that was for the head- then for the shoulders I moved to left side- and I pulled my right knee forward.
We were in a deep tub. The water was up to my neck- so the second position was really a floating one.
He was my only baby to not come all out at once- and it was weird to have to work the shoulders out and to switch positions like that in the middle of birthing.
So basically- you are gonna just go with what your body commands at the time- for me, I can choose labor positions all day- but birth positions, no way- they just sorta happen last minute :) I usually get that whole want to run away feeling at the last min.

after the birth: yes be gentle with your body- but not in traditional western ways- no couch slumping.
nursing on your side is wonderful. Hands and knees or even elbows and knees several times a day is a great feeling- but if you are like me just about anything is impossible with newly filled breasts. the weight of them makes you want to slump over- so good support for big milk jug boobs is helpful.

and walks- short walks. If you can manage to go 3 or 4 min each hour or two- do big arm flaps and breathe. but again give it a week or so- cause those first few days are so weird and jelly belly-
I like to have some support around my midsection during that time too-
last time I just used a pregnancy band.

and gosh- to encourage the uterus to stay forward and the cervix to stay in- nauli. as soon as you can figure it out- get started.

4 kiddos is so so cool. congratulations to you!

louiseds

July 23, 2010 - 1:30am

I wonder why breasts are called jugs? Cos that's about how much milk they hold? Or beer, if you are a bloke who doesn't consider nursing to be an appropriate use for breasts?

canadianmama

September 15, 2013 - 1:05pm

Due today with #5. Wow! Tried to have the baby earlier this week but things slowed down and...I'm still pregnant!

Yes, #5! Seems prolapse didn't stop us from having another. The pregnancy has been great (rectocele wasn't pretty at the beginning, but not horrible either). And, now we're getting ready to meet our newest little one (hopefully VERY soon!)

Somehow in the last few days, my head has gotten to thinking way too much about prolapses and I've found myself looking around on this site looking for the encouragement I need that while things might get worse after baby arrives, it WILL get better again.

I never did check back in with you all after baby #4. She was born in Costa Rica (delivered by a young nurse, her second vaginal delivery ever) and was a tiny little peanut with a very quick and easy delivery. The nurses were blown away seeing a natural delivery in a hospital that predominantly sees c-sections. Afterwards, I worked hard on the posture and on giving myself time to heal. It was my best recovery yet. As I look through journals, I wrote so much about recovering after #3, but very little about #4. There was nothing to write. It just wasn't an issue...I trusted my body to heal, and it did. I walked, I stayed in posture, I didn't strain. I expected ups and downs and I kept on with life. And, while I am very aware I am not like I was before babies inside...it is ok (as long as I don’t dwell on it), and hasn't kept me from doing anything. I am thankful for that.

It's been good for me to read back on my own old posts to see how time helped. How distraught I was at the beginning when I discovered my cervix/bladder/rectocele, and yet, how confident I was in my body for the next labour. I've been reading lots of other posts of mom's who have gone on to have other babies and have found that things really haven't been much worse and that each time they've healed. (Thank you for the follow up posts...they are so helpful)

Probably too many hormones flying around in me right now, but to say I am not nervous or anticipating discouragement would be a lie. I want to be confident. I want to be ready. I want to have complete faith in my body. But, I am a bit afraid, a bit worried that this time I'll end up "broken" for real, that it won’t heal this time. I am a little anxious about this birth. I want to know that afterwards I am going to be able to be a fun mama running around with all five of my kids and not consumed with "my insides".

I don't seem to be able to push slowly. #'s 2,3 and 4 were all born with 2-4 pushes each. I think I sort of turn into a bulldozer and my body just shoots them out. I am hoping to do better with this little one. We are having the baby at home with a midwife in the pool we hope.

I guess I am checking in today partly because my hubby encouraged me to share about how well things did after #4, partly to put words to the feelings I am having right now, and partly to ask those other mama's who have gone on to have more for a few words of encouragement as we get ready to do this again.

Thanks to anyone who’s got a few moments to send a quick reminder of how things healed up for them! I so so so appreciate it! And now for a nap before a looooong walk to see if we can encourage someone to make an appearance!

Surviving60

September 16, 2013 - 4:54am

Wow! Just read through this entire thread, and I'm totally blown away. Hopefully for you, more congrats are in order as I write this. You have definitely earned your spot in our "mama" Hall of Fame. Waiting for more news..... - Surviving

wholewomanUK

September 16, 2013 - 8:34am

Hi Canadian mummy,
Goodness - so near to d day! We're all vouching for you here! I'm sure your previous experiences of pregnancy and birthing will have prepared you very well for this birth. Key things that can help:
Quite atmosphere, low lighting, people you trust with you, doing as much as possible to feel relaxed (massage, long exhales, peaceful music...), keeping warm, slow breathing and exhaling slowly is more relaxing and conducive to relaxation..
Birthing positions: lean forwards hanging onto something, hanging from something/someone, all fours...
If baby's coming very quickly, go on all fours, circles hips maybe even forearms on floor... this can slow things down if you want.
Post natal: as soon as you can continue with WW posture and principles. Introduce more formal exercises when you feel ready and work within your limits. For uterine prolapse, lean forwards and a clean finger, gently push your cervix up, then come up into WW posture. I do this after I've been to the loo when I'm symptomatic and find it very helpful.

Good luck!!! wholewomanukx