"the road less taken"

Submitted by nmrainbow on August 1, 2010 - 2:53pm
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I have been reading the forums and looking through the village but haven't posted yet. Just begining the POP journey and am really glad to have discovered Christine and her site.

Wanted to share the story of how fortunate I feel not to have taken the surgery step for my rectocele and I owe this decision to a colorectal surgeon. Also, my bf of the same age with same grade rectocele went ahead with surgery. We both live in Albuquerque where access to specialists in any medical field is limited so we had three board certified colorecatal surgeons to choose from, all in the same practice.

I saw a 30'ish male dr. who told me I did indeed qualify for surgery based on the tests I had (some of the most embarrassing I will ever experience). However, he said the surgery had a large failure rate, would be painful and could impact my sex life negatively. Mouth gaping open, I declined surgery. He said that was a good choice and while there were not many advances in this type of surgery there would be in the future due to the large population of aging women. If I had surgery now, I might not be able to take advatage of improved surgical techniques later. So, I started internet searching, found Christine's site and have never looked back.

My friend saw a 50'ish male dr. who flat out mislead her about the surgery and all it's drawbacks. Even said it would not impact her sex life. Hah. And I should know, I was right there with her when he told her bold faced lies. He actually patted her hand and said that's for me to worry about when she asked a question. She's not the kind to listen to me and now five months post surgery she still has vaginal bleeding and has had constant, back to back uti's, something she never had in the 5 yrs I have known her.

Most days I'm good with my choice, but some days I envy my friend who, for now, does not have a rectocele problem. I am going to purchase Christine's book and dvd and start backing up my decision with action.

Maureen

granolamom

August 1, 2010 - 7:24pm

you were really lucky to have seen the dr you did.
and I'll tell you something else, you lucky thing.......CHRISTINE IS IN ALBUQUERQUE!!!!!!
that's all the specialist you could possibly need. If I were you, I'd get myself over to the brick and mortar WW center asap.
bring your friend along too

clavicula

August 2, 2010 - 2:02am

Great to have you here! :) Wow, Albuquerque, hope you are already at the WW center!!! :)

Liv

Christine

August 2, 2010 - 7:18am

come to the Whole Woman Workout at 7:30 each morning - it is fabulous. :)

heavenly

August 2, 2010 - 10:26am

I understand about the rectocele issue. It is not a good thing. Everyone has a different area and mine appears to be somewhat like yours. It can be extremely uncomfortable. Many times I wake up in the night dreading morning not knowing if I will be able to get things moving. This is a great site. We all have ups and downs but getting more ups as you visit and read on this site. You will love the DVD and book. The excercises do help and I am trying to be more faithful. It may take you a while to figure out some of the nauli and firebreathing but maybe not. Those really help me!!I may have to move to New Mexico.LOL You are so lucky you are there but not sure how far you are from Christine. I wish she could open up some more WWPlaces in other states. Who know, she is a mover, maybe in time. She is such a blessing to all of us!! You are in the right place where hope and friendships abound.
Love
Heavenly

JDsmommy

August 2, 2010 - 2:01pm

Maureen, I totally understand the envy of someone who got the same problem you had "fixed." Nonetheless, I'm sure you don't REALLY want to trade places with her. I have a rectocele and I'd sure as heck rather have it than chronic vaginal bleeding and chronic UTI's, not to mention painful sex. No thanks! Once you read Saving the Whole Woman, I think any last doubts you have about your decision not to have surgery will be gone. I was convinced I would have surgery until I read the book. Now I am committed to thriving in life with my POPs and NOT having surgery.

I'm happy to hear about a doctor who actually knows AND TELLS the truth. Good for him. Horrified by the other doc's hand-patting and condescending comment. If it were me, I would have gone to a different doc for that reason alone!

Lauren

August 3, 2010 - 3:48pm

I too was mislead. It was the mesh they use in the repairs that the Dr. showed me that turned me off and made me research! I felt very uncomfortable about it. My female Dr. gave me nothing but wonderful promises, but something about her mannerisms told me she was a brand new Dr. and found out I was right! Anyway - so glad I went on my gut on that one. I am not doing great right now cause I haven't been exercising, but the last time I did it I felt the difference! I need to do some detoxing cause I'm fighting one infection after the other, but just felt to pipe in on what you said. It AIN'T true!!!! When I researched the mesh I found all kinds of women had issues with it including it making its way into the vagina walls. OUCH!!!!

Lauren

ButtaScotch

August 3, 2010 - 11:25pm

That is why it is so IMPERATIVE to do your own homework about the things that are told to you. I too went to a Dr. who was leading me to believe that the surgery for prolapse with the mesh was "no big deal". He even took out a couple of sample mesh(es)? to let me feel them and drew a diagram of where they would go. They were kind of stiff and scratchy. He also told me to post that dumb diagram on the refrigerator while I made my decision, go figure!. He did not say "no big deal", but he certainly did minimize anything that was related to possible complications when I asked him. Thank you Christine and Whole Woman for empowering us so much to stand up against the bureaucracy XOXO

Christine

August 4, 2010 - 8:00am

...and thank you, ButtaScotch for being here. I can't do it alone! :)

anonymous

August 5, 2010 - 4:57pm

Hi Everyone,

I think I finally have it right. As patients we are the consumer when we go to the doctor. The doctor is working for us. If we're not happy with the service we're getting, we're free to go to another doctor. Also, please remember that you do not have to listen to or obey everything your doctor tells you. I've also realized that some people go into medicine with dollar signs in front of them rather than the noble idea of trying to help others heal, yet somehow we often put them in charge of our health and well-being. They call it a medical industry for a reason, it is after all a business and the goal is not always so lofty as the care of patients. Again I was one of the unfortunate ones that found this out the hard way. I was just like most people of my generation who were taught to believe in, listen to and trust my doctors. So what do you do when you've already had needless or botched surgery, been mistreated, lied to or practiced on? Talk to the women on the WW site. I've received some of my most valuable information from Christine and the wonderful women on the site. I've learned that I'm not alone, yet we're all different. Not only do we vary with regard to our problems, but we also vary with what works for us. I'm learning a lot from others and am finding my own way. At the same time I have to remember that doctors are human and just like in any profession, there are some good ones and some lousy ones!