Sex, finally - 3 months postpartum!

Body: 

I had been really nervous about having sex since my daughter was born, but decided that last night was the night to face my fears. I guess part of me was worried about pain, but also about how different I would feel to my husband, with POP and the stretching from childbirth. I was also worried that, if it did hurt or felt too different for him, that I would feel as if yet another thing was taken away from me because of POP. My husband has never once even suggested sex since she was born because he knew what I was going through, so there was no pressure at all from him. In fact, I initiated it. For those of you familiar with my birth story, it's easy to see why I was nervous about it, since I was ripped to shreds inside and out. I'm very happy to say that, with all my internal and external tears, prolapsed rectum and bladder, atrophy from exclusive breastfeeding, and the fact that the surgery I had repair my uterus and cervix was done vaginally, sex was amazing - maybe some of the best we've had! No pain during or afterwards! My husband told me he didn't feel my POP, and that I barely felt different at all, maybe just a little less tight, but barely noticeable.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I feel much more womanly again - something I thought I would never feel with POP. My husband is so supportive and sensitive, so I'm extra blessed.

I have been seeing a therapist about how my traumatic birth experience and POP have affected my life. She had me make a list of all my feelings, so that we could work on processing the trauma and grieving a loss due to POP. I think I can say now that "unwomanly" can be taken off that list!

Thank you, all you beautiful women for being there to listen and offer encouragement.

Christina

This is wonderful, though not unexpected news, Christinabf. Encouraging women with POP not to be scared of sex is a bit like encouraging a child to jump off the high diving board at the pool. The first time is the most scary, then it loses the danger signal and just becomes really good, thrilling fun. Sometimes you hurt yourself a bit, but with practice it is great.

Just remember to use plenty of lube for penetration, and remember that your vulva might also be a bit dry as well. As you get closer to returning to oestrus your oestrogen levels will build up again slowly. Weaning doesn't seem to make any difference to the dryness of your vagina with an older baby. I enquired about this with the Australian Breastfeeding Association. Their research couldn't find any clinical evidence of weaning fixing dryness, and our Mums here seem to agree. Oestrogen levels rise long before weaning.

I have said this before, but I think vaginal dryness and lack of libido are nature's trick for making new mothers uninterested in mating again for a while after birth, lest they go off in search of sex and their baby gets neglected. Glad you are normal, and I doubt that your baby will be neglected. ;-)

Louise

so happy for you!
now you can make up for lost time....

such great news. wonderful healing on so many levels ;-)
enjoy...