Off- topic: help with night weaning??

If he cries it out, perhaps he is not ready? But if he is ready, gentle methods might help easily make the transition. I have seen the most success with putting band-aids on your nipples and explaining that you have an owie. Kids capacity for compassion is amazing.

will your partner help out? That is the way we have done it (4 times now) and it works great.
It is exhausting sometimes, and especially exhausting over time. There is a difference between cry it out and saying no to a child who can understand and helping work through his upset feelings about not getting what he wants. Helping my kids deal with disappointment is one of my hardest jobs.
Nursing is a relationship though. One of the very first they ever get to experience. If the nursing relationship is wearing you out, and night weaning will help you continue to nurse then as the adult in the relationship you can do the best thing for the relationship.
The only exception I would make to this recommendation is if you are away from your child during the day. Then your child may need the physical closeness that co-sleeping and breast-feeding provide. I'm not saying I wouldn't wean, just saying I might work hard on establishing some other bonding activities (rocking and singing songs, baby-wearing, snuggle time, etc) then slowly transition away from night nursing and co-sleeping.

Here is something someone on a nursing board I'm on wrote that was pretty cute:

One of the things I 
> did to help her understand what I was doing was explain to her that she could 
> nurse when the sun was awake, but once the sun went to bed she had to wait. The 
> first few days we would say goodnight to the sun and hello to the moon. And in 
> the morning say good morning to the sun. She would go and look out the window 
> for the sun and say, "nite nite sun, nite nite nay (her word for nursing)" it 
> was really cute and she totally got it too. Even if she woke in the middle of 
> the night and asked to nurse if I said, "when the sun wakes up you can nurse" 
> she would roll over and let me pat her back and go back to sleep.She did 
> complain the first few nights, but got used to it because we talked about it 
> during the day. It was a really fun way to make this transition easier and 
> enjoyable. It also made our morning nurse really special, and she really started 
> to enjoy recognizing the rhythm of the day. 


and here is something I wrote recently:


We night weaned. It was totally easy. But I had the help of his 
dad. So he would wake up, ask for his milk, I would say no- he 
would either go back to sleep with patting and singing or he would 
fuss. If he fussed his dad took him in the kitchen and fed him (yes 
even at 3 in the morning) in the dark. Then he would come back to 
bed and with a few minutes of patting and singing he would go back 
to sleep. It was so easy it was ridiculous. If I had to do it 
without help it would have been much harder-he would have been 
frustrated to be offered food when the boob was obviously RIGHT 
THERE.
It took us 2 nights and then he quit waking up. That was about a 
month ago. He still wakes up some nights- eats and goes back to 
sleep. If he doesn't want to eat and instead asks for me a few 
times then I will nurse him- but it's usually morning- like 5 or 6 
when that happens.
If you don't think there is anything strange going on (night 
terrors, teething, bad dreams, belly ache, insomnia etc) then 
night weaning may be done easily.
One last thing- It's been my experience that none of my kids sleep 
through the night. Instead they all wake up pretty frequently- 
maybe once an hour- then go back to sleep without any fuss or 
assistance. So you may notice he still wakes up- he just won't 
stay awake for long.


Good luck! it is such a crazy transition for us and them, to go from little baby to big boy in his own bed. When my first baby made that transition I cried. Sat outside her room and just bawled. It was too fast. When our 4th made the transition it was a relief. Though watching him grow up is killing me!

we've night weaned five kids and each time it goes a bit differently, depending on the kid mostly, but also me.
for me, the first thing to do is to have a long honest talk with myself, to clarify that I really am serious about night weaning (the baby can sniff out wishy-washy weaning and then it is so much more difficult on everyone), and my reasons for doing so. for example, in this last case, we night weaned earlier than we normally do, but I was so sleep deprived I was not functioning well at all during the day. I made the parenting-call that my baby needed me sleeping more than she needed to be nursing all night long (she was 11 mo). and the method was very different too, when she got up I went to her (she sleeps in a crib in our room, she doesnt like being in our bed with us), held her, walked a bit, paced a bit and put her down. I'd let her cry for maybe two min (she usually does a bit of complaining, not real screaming or anyhting, as she falls asleep) but more than that I'd pick her up again. first night was awful, it was every half hr. second night she got up twice. third night she slept 10 hours. now, a month later, thats pretty much what she does, nurse to sleep at 7, gets up around 5 when I nurse her again and put her back in the crib. on a good (rare) day she goes back to sleep, usually she fusses until I realize its not happening and I get up and start my day. not bad.
the others night weaned around 14 mo, I was tired during the day and so were they. my oldest could never nap and then would always wake any sleeping baby during the day. so the babies were tired too. three of them, my dh would go to them and hold them, put them in the crib (they werent in our room by then) and talk to them or pat them until they'd fall asleep. with those three kids it was almost a month until they were sleeping through the night.
my second was a bit easier, I gave him the 'nursies go to sleep too' speech and he got it on the first night.

your little one is a bit older than mine were so you might be able to rationalise with him some. weaning doesnt have to equal cry it out. you can still offer to be there for him in anohter way.

I hope it goes easy for you guys

Same here. We nightweaned 3 kids with the help of their patient and supercool daddy. :) Still co-sleeping with all of them (5.5, 3.5, 2), but finally I am sleeping through the night and so they are.
Liv

What helped me nightwean was fabulous author Aletha Solter, awareparenting.com, in her books she says kinda what louise said - crying it out miserably on your own is a world away from crying in the arms of somebody who loves u and is gonna stay with you all the way through the difficult feelings. My dh helped a lot there , but also just me being ok if ds neeeded to cry about not getting booby, just giving him all the love he would get on the boob without the milk, and he was sleeping through in no time. we still coslept for another year no prob

and i dont think its off topic, sleep is critical to health is critical to pop

good luck

Our first baby, DS1, was night and day weaned cold turkey at 16mo when I was hospitalised suddenly. Dad and Grandma took over wonderfully. A month later though, I came home to recuperate and had to wear all in one clothing because he was trying to mine into my top for boobie as soon as I came home!

Our second night weaned herself at about 12mo I think, then day weaned at 20mo when I was five months pregnant with DS2, adn I think my milk changed.

DS2 day weaned before he night weaned. Day weaning was about 2 years 6 mo. Night weaning was 2 yr 9 mo. After night weaning he developed ear infections, which I now can see were the reason why he previously woke frequently at night, and was calmed by sucking at the breast. Of course, nursing him was why he didn't get any worse symptoms! I think it is worth investigating ear problems with toddlers who are feeding a lot at night.

I was a lazy Mum. I would rather cuddle up to them and go back to sleep than fight them. They all gave up the breast eventually, even DS2 who is now firmly bonded to a lovely young lady's boobs. There was a time when I didn't think that would ever happen. He has been a boobs man all his life!

We weaned once when I was super-sick with what felt like pneumonia (it wasn't, thank god) and I went to sleep in the guest bedroom while Daddy slept with the baby. Sleeping for both of us was theoretical, though, because our babe (13 months) was very upset and cried a LOT, and I could hear it down the hall with earplugs. We stuck with it for three nights and by the fourth (when daddy had to go on a trip) I slept through most of the night with baby and not much fussing. When he fussed our standard line was "it's night time, time to sleep, go to sleep" over and over with gentle rocking etc.

But since then the babe (14.5 months) has found the boob again on his own. We're all back to where we were.

I did a bunch of research though, and apparently, it helps if the baby is ready. When the baby is ready, the night-weaning should go pretty smoothly. I'm hoping for this next time around. So if it's difficult, try again in a month?

Also, there's the mother-advice about how things will change just when you think you can't go on this way anymore... you know?

Good luck!

there is a lovely book, the no cry sleep solution. it has lots of ideas, including for co sleeping. I tried then with DS1 and you have to be persistent and very patient, but it did help. I also discovered he really was just thirsty, as giving him a cup at night was what finally sorted night feeding around age 2.
with DS2 we night weaned around 21 months with DH night cuddling and hugging him. there were tears there, but not that many and they were all with cuddles and love so it felt diff't to just leaving him to cry.

good luck--oh the night waking is hard! i have to say, DS2 is nearly 4 and we are still woken most nights when he climbs into bed with us, has to find his toys, wants to chat...and then there are the restful nights when he sleeps all nights, though i do love a good snuggle ;-)

Anyone who sleeps with their mouth open will get a dry mouth in the night. A cup of water sounds like a good first offer. Then observe the child for blocked nose and mouth open during the day.

Mouth breathing can lead to hyperventilation asthma/bronchitis/tonsilitis/ respiratory viruses and general inflammation in the throat area, which of course also includes the eustachian tubes, which can lead to ear infections, glue ear and hearing loss.

This is because the throat is not built for primary inhalation. It has no convolutions to filter out dust, cold and germs, except with the tonsils. Only the nose has the apparatus needed to clean and warm the air before it goes down the throat.

I now regard breathing through the nose as being one of the most important things to teach children, as it has so many health implications.