Hello this is my story (How do you adjust to this?)

Body: 

I am a mother of two small children my oldest is 18 months and my youngest is two months old. My oldest child was born through c-section and I seemed to recover well except for hip pain when ever I would bend over. when she was 7 months I found out that I was pregnant again for my son. The pregnancy was horrible. The pain was awful in my hips and I was also placed on bed rest for 10 weeks due to early contractions. once I was at 34 weeks my obgyn took me off bed rest and I was able to walk around again.
I was so happy to be able to get up and play with my daughter again.... My joy became short lived because I began noticing increased pain in my hips and round ligaments. Eventually the pain was so bad that it reached the pubic bones and I couldn't walk and getting up in the morning there was an awful pop around my leg and hip joint. I found out that I had a condition called SPD (symphasis pubis dysfunction). It is where the hormones that relax the pelvis to prepare for birth are higher than usual and it causes the pubic bones and Sacro Iliac joints to become loose and cause misalignment. I went to a chiropractor to help with this. This helped greatly with the pain and I was able to walk again with a limp.
while all of this was going on my ob was pushing for another c-section even though my sons head was in proper position for a natural birth. I fought hard against this and had my natural birth. It was quite an amazing experience because I did with out the use of an epidural.
while pregnant I noticed that my BMs were unusually large and hard and I found that I would have to push extremely hard to get it out. I would sometimes push so hard that I would break a sweat. there were times that I thought that I had given birth to my poop.
After the baby was born I was diagnosed with a mild rectocele. He wanted to operate and I said it was impossible because I was moving to China and the time wasn't good. He had me scheduled for this June in which I am now not going to do after finding WW.
Now that I am here in China and my son is 2 months I have noticed that I have new and scarier symptoms. I feel something between my legs entering into the vaginal wall and I am not quite sure what to do. My hips are still very sore especially after walking for long periods of time. and I have little air bubbles that I have to rotate my hips to get out.
Finally, about three days ago I went to the bathroom to have a BM and couldn't go. I have a lot of gas and bloating I feel like I need to go but nothing comes out. I finally did some light pushing and some pooh came out but I had to once again use my finger to the perineum to push the rest out that is when I noticed that the rectum protruded quite far and the feeling in my vagina was there even more. Now I can feel this thing in my vagina all the time and when I did a vaginal check I could push it up and it would go up only to come back down again. Help!!! I cry myself to sleep and cannot enjoy motherhood or being a loving women to my husband. I do not feel like a women I feel so sad and empty and I do not know who to turn to. I want to wake up from this terrible nightmare. I could really use some friendly advice it is not only hard to adjust to motherhood in a new country where no one speaks the language but to have this problem as well has left me absolutely devastated.
I am afraid to run or pick up my 26 pound daughter. I get tired easily from walking only for an hour. I am 35 and feel like I am 85. I can't believe that only 3 years ago I would walk, run, dance, bike, hike, do sit ups. I feel like I am trapped in this old womens body and the outside world is carrying on as if nothing is wrong. I see people doing wonderfully active things and I have become the watcher on the bench. Does this get better? How do you adjust to this?

Hello vbacmom2

I'm pretty new to this forum - found the WW site a fortnight or so ago, and it is a voyage of discovery. Sorry to hear about the problems with joints you had in pregnancy, it must have been really tough. If I can share anything helpful, here goes...

I had minor rectocele for years and ignored it, even though had constipation problems despite pretty healthy fibre diet and plenty of exercise. Then after Christmas, I experienced the same symptoms as you - the bulge low down in the vagina, and the squidgy (not sure if right description) feeling when you do certain movements, and like you I thought oh help, here comes old age way before I'm ready to give up my active lifestyle cycling, hiking gardening etc. - although I am older than you and have got 4 grown up children. Also having to help a bowel movement out with your finger (yuk!), sometimes. There have been tears and negative depressing thoughts, and I think that is only natural. We are in the stage of coming to terms with an unexpected health issue that will mean some re-evaluation of lifestyle.

However, let's look at the positives. If you haven't ordered it yet, try to get Christine's book, and look at the posture clip on YOutube. I haven't got the DVD yet, but will order shortly: there's a lot to take on board so I am taking a step at a time.

You have two lovely children and there is lots you can do with and for them - so go with the flow, cuddles and encouragement, reading and toys. I'm not sure how lifting a toddler will affect you -perhaps Louse or Christine can help you with that, but try to arrange things so that lifting is minimal.. You are a new mum so there's loads of emotions to deal with.

I have explained my problem to my husband, even shown him the bulge so he understands better why I'm finding life a bit difficult at present, but it is still more than possible to have intercourse. In fact one of the reasons that I didn't see a doctor earlier despite suspecting some kind of prolapse, was that a wide vagina mean easy sex, never a problem to find the right place.!! But you can't overload your partner too much, so this forum and friends are definitely the place to share your concerns.

Life will go on, the rectocele is about discomfort and reducing it, and managing lifestyle to accommodate it. It won't stop you being active, even if for a while there is less going on. (You only have to see christine's Youtube cycling video with her grandaughter in trailer behind!!) Once your hip is better - and I expect it will improve once hormones have settled down, then I really do believe that you will settle into a lifestyle with your family that is as full and rewarding as ever - if not BETTER because we have come through trials to get there.

Will be thinking of and saying a prayer for you, take an/hour/day/week at a time and plan a few nice things - there must be loads to discover in China. If you happen to be in Beijing, there is an international church with pastors MArk and Dayna Blair. They are a lovely couple who could perhaps help you meet a new set of friends.

Love from Kathy (posting from Wales UK)

Hi Vbacmom2

You are coping with a lot, aren't you? I can see why you are starting to feel panicky about this. I guess you feel that this is your just reward for sticking out for a natural birth. Brave lady. Well done. There are no guarantees that it would have been any different, had it been a CS birth.

My understanding from your post is that your rectum is pouching out into your vagina all the time and coming down quite low. You can feel it between your legs as you move around, ie it is outside the vulva. When you had a poo yesterday you were pushing on your perineum and I am not sure whether the next bit meant that your rectum came out of your anus or that your anus was bulging outwards but the rectum was not coming out of the anus. Which is correct?

OK, you are still quite early postpartum. Your insides will still be reverting to pre-pregnant state for at least 12 months, probably 24 months until reversion is anywhere near complete. All you need to do is be patient and allow everything inside to shrink back. It will get considerably better, all by itself. You can help it along.

My guess is that your posture is not very tall. Sadness and feelings of vulnerability often close our posture up into a c-shape. Having a major move to the other side of the world in the middle of all this will probably have been quite physically strenuous as well.

Now you are there I suggest that you find yourself a group of women for some companionship. Maybe expats? With some fellowship from other women I am sure that you will get a more positive perspective.

Tall, proud posture (think like Queen Vbac) will literally pull all your pelvic organs up. My guess is that like KStart, all your intestines have become squashed under your sacrum, which makes for lots of twists and turns for the poo to get out.

Tall, proud posture, with a lifted chest to show off your lovely milky boobs, will help reinstate your pride. It will also reinstate your lumbar curve, rotating your pelvis forwards. Your bladder and uterus will also flop forwards into your relaxed belly. This makes room for your intestines to also come up and forwards and out from behind your vagina. Then the top of your vagina can relax backwards, to where it should be. When the top of your vagina leans back, any forces from your abdomen, from breathing, coughing, walking, (Yes, crying too) will then push against the front of your vagina, flattening it and keeping your rectum (behind it) flat too, when it is empty. Oh yeah, untuck your butt too. Let your tailbone rise. This gives more forward rotation.

These changes in position of your pelvic organs can take a while to happen. It is sort of like rubbing your head and scratching your tummy, or was that the other way around?

Drink to quench your lactational thirst. Eat plenty of fruit and veges for fibre and nutrition. Raise your chest and feel your belly suspended from your lower chest in a gentle curve. Don't hold it in. Your lower abdomen needs to be close to horizontal for now, to provide a safe hiding place for your bladder and uterus out front, where they cannot be pushed back and down onto your vagina. Keep clothing around your belly loose and stretchy, so your belly doesn't get compressed at all.

This posture will probably feel really weird for a start. Your vulva will not feel protected by your thighs. It might feel like it is peeking out the back. Hey, you're wearing clothes, it's OK! ;-) Your pelvic floor will be more diagonal than horizontal, so your uterus and bladder will literally roll forwards onto your lower abdominal wall, with your pubic bones underneath them (not the abyss, like before). Your intestines will roll forwards too, and your sacrum will be further forward as well, to keep them up and forward.

That's probably enough from me. Keep posting.

Louise

It has been amazing to find this site of strong women. I will also say a prayer for you and wish you and your husband all the best. I have christine's book and it is very useful to go with the DVD. I recommend that you get both because the book shows the moves with descriptions on how to do postures and I practice them before the DVD. I have only done the very 1st part of the (beginners section of the video) and will master it before moving on to the second part. I believe that it is all about patience and muscle memory and it takes time.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. Hope I have helped you as well.
(Also, I want my daughter to grow up with this proud natural walk and plan on teaching it to her as well) *new generation of WW*

Words can not express how much your words have helped me. Thank you so much. For the first time I feel like I am not alone with this weird dark secret. I have just read Christine's book and have been working on my stand but I will also try what you recommend.
I kind of been standing like what you describe with a pronounced backside and sticking my woman belly out and relaxed to allow deep breath. Feels weird but I will get used to it. Besides if I get stares its ok they probably just think I am a pregnant American with a big bum. I also avoiding the soft couches. for some reason they make the pelvic bones ache and burn it is weird. I have a lovely little girl that loves to play on the floor anyway.
I plan on teaching her how to walk as a strong, proud and beautiful woman and not to be ashamed of things like this. I love this forum I feel better already just reading your words.
Thank you
By the way, My rectum is pooching through vagina and rectum comes out of the anus a bit. I was wondering what do I do about gas and lack of pooh? and is it ok to push on perineum? will it weaken anything?

I would say that the straining you did mid pregnancy might be the cause of your rectal problems. If your rectum comes out only a little bit and causes no other problems I wouldn't worry about it, but do see a doctor if it gets worse or it gets irritated.

Are there any other members out there who have rectal prolapse, who could comment?

I think inversion exercises like bending deeply at the hips to do low tasks, firebreathing, nauli and 'knees and elbows' positions will be the most helpful to move your intestines out of your pelvic cavity and move your bladder and uterus forward. It is good to hear that you play with your daughter a lot on the floor. We need to spend less time in chairs and more on the floor. It will take time to get improvement, Vbac. You will slowly realise week by week that you are having symptoms less often, or that you are feeling them less intensely. You will have temporary setbacks too, when you will think you have undone all your good work, but you will recover your former position in a couple of days, and begin to trust your body again.

The no poo problem will hopefully solve itself once your intestines are better positioned. I think the gas problem is just another sign of constipation. Keep up the fibre and keep up the water intake.

It is OK to push on your perineum. Try not to strain. Often it is better to stop, even if you feel there is poo still in your rectum, and try again when you feel a little urge again. You can poo a lot over a day by going every hour for just a little bit. When your intestines have got rid of the backlog it will be easier to keep more regular, and for your rectum to stay long and thin, rather than short and fat. Poo will dry out the longer it is in there, which is why it is important to keep it all moving along. You could try gentle laxatives at night every now and then too, but don't get hooked on them. Ask your doctor about this. You could even try a little enema every now and again when you get really clogged up. Just don't strain on the toilet, ever!

Then we get to foods, like stone fruit, particularly prunes, or prune juice, mandarins and oranges, figs, granny smith apples (an apple a day keeps the doctor away) plus a heap more that others will suggest. Put 'constipation food' in the Search box and wait for the downpour of results!!!

Oh yeah, the other thing is that 3 to six months is a period which many Moms find is the worst. Once you get to six months it should start getting better. We don't know why this is. It just happens. :-(

So you must be patient.

I am also wondering if your hips have fully recovered. Perhaps you could go to the chiropractor again. It can feel like you are in WW posture, but if your hips are stiff if might be a sign that you need some adjustment again. WW posture works best when you have full range of movement.

Louise

Hi Vbacmom2,

I too have a rectocele and like you was devastated when I discovered it last summer. I had had several months of unexplained constipation (not all the time). My doctor had already started investigating the bowel problems in the spring to check there was nothing seriously wrong and I had been put on laxatives which didn't really help at the time. I was never warned that being constipated could lead to a rectocele - if she didn't know she should have done. Every one should get preventitive advice. Anyway I'm going to give youa few bits of advice in case they help - take what does and ignore the rest!

Not straining against the toilet seat is really important - don't ever be tempted. As Louise says, just go away and wait till later, even though this can feel really uncomfortable. Using your finger or thumb inside can help to make a BM pass more easily as can leaning right forward on the toilet seat. I use a stool uner my feet too and this helps (one of those stools you buy for kids to stand on at the sink).

Take care of your diet, whatever that means for you. You need to try to be constipation free. For me it actually means not having too much fibre, certainly insoluble fibre. If I eat too much of that it males my bowel probs worse. I do have fibre, but not too much insoluble. If you eat dried fruits such as prunes, don't have too many and increase your water intake as they can bulk you up if you have too many without enough fluid. Drink loads of water and cut down on tea and coffee. Keeping a food/bowel diary for a couple of weeks or more can help to work out what works for you.
I have had to resort to daily laxative (Movicol). If you go down this route get good medical advice about which one to take as some can be really bad to take longterm. I was advised two laxitives by my GP, Lactulose which was no help at all and Fibogel. Then when I saw a specialist Physiotherpist for some bowel tests she said I should take Movicol as it doesn't absorb as much fluid as the Fibogel I had been taking. I only take one sachet a day and I also take two teaspoons of Lepicol which is Psyllium husk with probiotic. I am planning on seein a nutritionalist for advice so that I can stop taking the laxitive.

If your rectum is slightly pushing ot of your anus you can use some barrier cream to gently push it back with the tip of your finger. If you are constipated it can also help to do put some barrier cream in before you pass a bowel movement. With constipation you can end up with haemorrhoids (piles) where you get a swollen bulge just outside the anus. If this is what you can feel it can quickly settle down with hydrocortisone cream - I use Proctosydl. You can't use it for more than 5 days in a row, and it is better to avoid getting the problem in the first place by taking care of diet/drink and exercise. You will need it diagnosed and a prescription rom a GP.

With avoiding constipation and ww workout my rectocele is ok. Sometimes it is worse, sometimes better, but overall it has not got any worse than when I first found it. Being on my feet all day will make it worse, but it settles down again quickly. I am no longer scared of going for a walk and being active. I am careful not to lift unless I have to and if I do I cut loads down into smaller amounts e.g. shopping or washing. I get hubby to do the heavey jobs such as hoovering and I sit dow to do stuff I would have stood up for like ironing and preparing food.

Generally our love life is fine, in fact very good unless I am having probs with my boowel, then I don't feel so good. It hasn't affected making love as I thought it would. I thought my hubby would be able to feel how different I was inside but he says he can't either when he touches me or is inside. In fact I think it was Louise who may have suggested sex would help push eveything back where it should be with her wonderful graphic matter of factness!

Do the workout/posture when you can. It makes you feel good to be strengthening your body and putting your posture as it should be. It takes time to see the benefits but be patient and look at posts from people who have been doing this for longer. (I've had my ww pack since Oct 2010).

I hope some of this may be of help. The most important thing is to be hopefuul and positive. You are not alone and you will be fine.

Love and big hugs

Pollyanna :)

Dear Vbacmom2

After all this good advice from the women here, if you are in need of some professional reassurance, I can't image being better placed than to be in China and seeking help with your problems. You can ask and expect the best of what western medicine and Chinese traditional medicine have to offer. Grab your Chinese/English dictionary and find the Chinese words for the key words to describe what is wrong; hip, ligaments, constipation, bloating, prolapse etc. Practice these key words and be able to mime out what your problem is and what you are seeking. Don't let stage fright put you off, so what if the foreigner makes a bit of a fool of herself, that's nothing in the good will of communication. They will smile, but they will take you seriously. Not every Chinese doctor will speak English, but many will. Like in any fishing expedition you may catch something, you may not, but you go out the next day and try again. If you don't like the catch, you can kiss it and throw it back.

Hey Fab,
thank you for reminding me of where I am. I am on this good mood bad mood roll costar. But always in the middle is my inquisitive side to it. where can I get help and who to turn to . Thank you for reminding me that I am in a very fortunate place to be experiencing my prolapse. I am now researching Tibetan doctors located in and around Hong Kong and my husband and I are looking into going to Tibet to see if there is anymore info that I can find out about this condition. Thank you for pointing out the flowers that have been in front of me this whole time.
Lots of Love Vbacmom2

Hey Pollyanna,
You sound just like me. I constantly hear from my doctor (eat more fiber). But he doesn't realize when I do I get a lot of bloating and gas. The secret that I have discovered with my body is that if I have little meals and snacks throughout the day it helps with bloating, gas and constipation.
*Sometimes hot meals and if I eat a lot of it makes my bulge and poohing worse.
The other and most important thing that I have discovered is Unpasteurized foods like saur kraut or cabbage (Kim Chi). I know how scary this must sound especially with cabbage but it helps especially if you are really bound up. Do not eat it on a full stomach! Wait until stomach is empty. then eat a good portion size of it (Anything Pickled Naturally). wait a while before eating anything else. It is amazing how your body will expel your problems away.
To me there are certain foods that are fiber rich that actually make it worse for me. Prunes, Bananas, Breads and pastas. I can actually see my belly grow with gas. I hope this helps.
Lots of hugs
Vbacmom2

Welcome to the forum! I am so glad you found WW.

a few things. You are so early one. at 2 months i was still getting worse. it plateaued about 3 - 4 months, then started improving. so give it time. Start working on the posture, gently and slowly, and you will start to see improvements. But remember, it is so early. I noticed huge improvements up to a year, moderate up to 2 years, and then on and off. things got even better when i went to NM to work with Christine for a few days and really got the posture much more. so know this is just the beginning of the journey.

I too had SPD, though not as badly as you. But oh it was awful! The pain continued post birth, and then slowly improved but came back if i stood a lot or before my period. Mine was more in the front of my pelvis and lower back (feeling like it was locking up) rather than my hips. Christine discussed the idea that part of it could be the pressure of baby pushing down as i was quite tucked in my posture. since working with her, it has really improved. I also got new better shoes that really cushion (I always wear good shoes, but i went for even better) and that has really helped too. I have had almost no pain since Sept last year.

Accupuncture is meant to help, and i found osteopathy fabulous. but do take it easy. you are still early on and there is a lot of healing to happen.

This is great news. Thank you so much for the info. I have the DVD and the book which I have read while trying to take care of 2 children under the age of 2. I have been trying the posture but have a real hard time understanding some of the moves. I have never done anything close to this before and I would love to do some real classes with her or someone that can Physically show me. We live overseas but come home in the summer to visit family. Is it possible for you to tell me how I can get these classes???

Hi VbacMom2

The best way will be to email Christine directly and ask her about classes.

Hi There...I, too, have been struggling with both prolapse and SPD. It's been almost 3 years with the prolapse and I think I'm finally able to accept what has happened and let go. I still very much mourn the fact that I can't be as active as I once was, but it gets easier with time. I just wanted to mention something regarding the SPD/hip pain. Are you familiar with prolotherapy? It can strengthen weakened ligaments surrounding joints. I've actually wondered if there could be any use for this treatment for prolapse....Christine, what do you think??? I would not recommend it until you are done breastfeeding and sure that things won't resolve on their own (b/c almost always they do!) It's also very important that you find a doctor that specializes in this procedure. I'm going to look into it if I don't feel better in a year...especially if we decide to have another child. Hope this helps.