feel like i am always going uphill

Hi Susan

It sounds like you are down in a mud hole with lots of reasons why you are there, and you cannot quite figure out which tree to hitch your winch to. I think you are feeling pretty alone tackling all this.

I guess you really have to work out what to do next, ie what is your next strategic move.

You have several factors to choose from.

Sore back and use of back brace
Kidney stones
stage 3/4 prolapse
blood dots on toilet paper
family issues
*and* feeling down and helpless, which can be an issue in itself.

That's quite a load for any woman to carry.

I suggest that you draw a picture of all this, and any other things that pop into your mind as you are doing it. You can easily cross them off if they turn out to be red herrings.

Tease out the options within each issue, then draw lines between the issues or options, indicating which is dependant on which others, which can be tackled now, and which has to wait for another issue to be resolved, or for an appointment. You might find there are other things you can write or draw in relation to each issue, which might lead to more options.

Once you have it all on paper you can see what action you can take now and what needs to wait. You can also see which are dependent on others, and which are pie in the sky, that you have no control over.

Sometimes feeling that you are not able to take any action at all is the root of the problem, ie your mental state, eg the possibility of depression.

One thing you could try is to have a wipe without emptying your bladder. This will tell you if the blood is coming out with the urine, or it is there without urine. Actually, I would dab gently, and ensure that you understand where you are dabbing, so you can locate the source of the blood. Having a look first with a mirror might also be useful. Do you get any blood on your knickers in between visits to the toilet?

I am sorry, but I cannot remember the details of your back brace. Would you mind explaining again why you are using the back brace, what sort of brace it is, what it does to your posture, how long you have been using it, how long you use it for, who prescribed it for you, and whether another type of brace, or adjusting your current brace might make it more supportive for your POP.

I have also forgotten what type of POP you have. Would you please clarify that as well.

Louise

Oh, I had forgotten about Loretta!!!

I wonder why the piriformis injury keeps recurring??? It sounds like getting this upper back thing sorted out might be imporant.

What is the higher up back injury?

It has been a while since we heard from you last. I would have thought that WW posture would have aggravated your upper back injury before this, if it is a factor at all.

Myofascial pain syndrome, or even fibromyalgia, isn't really telling you much, is it? And you have IBS as well?

I think you could do well to try an anti-inflammatory diet. Search it in the Search box. I think there is also a video about it in Christine's Cottage.

I used to get terrible body pain. Cutting out all grain fed meat was a major factor for me in getting rid of it. I try now to only eat grass fed meat, or wild meat and fish. The omega fatty acid balance of anything grain fed is way out. Range fed and game meats are much better for our bodies. I also have about a pint of strong red clover tea a day as well. This has cut down the dermatitis on my hands. I have recently started taking one fish oil capsule a day as well. This has almost got rid of the dermatitis completely. These anti-inflammatory diet measures really do work.

I wouldn't fret about the lack of a formal POP diagnosis for Loretta. It sounds like you know what's happening. Loretta can wait.

Here is some stuff you might already know about kidney stones, http://www.kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pubs/kidneystonediet/index.ht... .

Cheers

Louise

Hi Susan

Now I know that you have lost a lot of weight, I would like to point out to you that women often experience a worsening of POP symptoms for a while, kind of like birth a baby, and having a lot of spare connective tissue that needs to shrink back to normal size again. Just like after a pregnancy it probably takes a couple of years for all the body's fascia to revert.

This is why many people feel like labrador puppies after losing a lot of weight. Too much skin, and internal connective tissue, too little space. Fat is lost on the inside, around the organs, as well as outside, under the skin. It doesn't always revert completely, particularly after being obese for a large part of a person's life. You will just have to be patient, wait and see what happens. Some or all of the worsening may not be permanent.

What sort of upper back and shoulder exercise do you do on a regular basis. I found that doing a lot of veil work in bellydancing coincided with an improvement in my upper back and shoulders, previously very stiff and sore. I call it pumping chiffon. ;-) You would not believe how much hard work it is to keep 3m of chiffon airborne and swirling around in the air!

I am now learning guitar again after a break of 40 years, another good exercise method for the upper back, arms and shoulders. I have also changed bellydance style recently, now learning American Tribal Style. This involves a lot of arms held out firmly, straight up, out to the sides and out to the front, with strong flamenco style hand movements for long periods of time. It approximates ballet arms in all their different positions. I am finding it easier, and more sustainable than many other students in my class. I can only put it down to all the guitar playing. The obvious readymade suggestion is the ballet workout in Saving The Whole Woman.

Happy drawing.

Louise

I think there might be a gallows-funny Blues song in that, so something positive might come out of it. There is too much music out there expressing male fantasies. Need some more Girls Gettin' Real music!

Just be patient and pretend you have just had a baby (scary!!!), to let your body adjust. I don't know how much reversion is possible in older women. One thing is for sure. We have learned how to use gravity to support our insides in a supportive way. When it is all on the outside Lady Gravity will have her wicked ways. A neck to ankle, gravity-defying heavy lycra suit is the only way the skin will get held up, and who is prepared to pay the price of looking a burns victim for the sake of having skin that fits us like a glove? As long as it doesn't get caught in the wind while we are cycling, or risk getting caught in bits of machinery, skin is just skin. When I think of burns victims or people who have a lot of skin cancers removed, I am sure they would kill for a bit of extra skin. We are a strange species, aren't we? Never satisfied ... gentle chuckle.

hi susan
your post strikes a chord
when I found my POP, I was in a downward spiral, fibro flareups, breast lump, occipital neuralgia, the list goes on.
when it rains it pours, eh?
for me, I do find that my emotional state directly affects my physical state. sure there are things I cannot change (like having arthritic knees/shoulders/hips since I'm 12 or difficult family members) but how I *feel* about it changes how it feels.
sometimes just verbalizing that such and such is plain old crappy and or that so and so is hurting my feelings helps get the pain out so it doesnt settle anywhere else. I also find that verbalizing the first thing that comes to my mind about my physical pain helps connect it to my emotional wellbeing. for example, I was under so much stress 'round the time I found my POP, I kept saying 'I really feel like I'm just going to fall down'. it was my prolapse that woke me up. I realized I really WAS falling down. and had to do something about it. not only the posture, but support myself emotionally too.
I dont wish a prolapse on anybody, but in hindsight, it was a positive life-changer for me. now, if I have a 'bad' prolapse day that wasnt preceeded by some crazy overactivity, I think about what's getting me 'down' and take care of me.
the depression/anxiety can do a number on you too, I struggle with those as well.
maybe this is a 'rock bottom' for you and now you will find your way up to better places? I hope so.
((((hugs))))

hey susan, I'm no psychologist or anything so maybe this is all bunk, but here's what I do with emotional pain (been through some crazy tough times as a kid/adolescent/young adult): I recognize that it is there. name it. hold it. find a box to put it in and store it up on a shelf. sure, it tumbles down and spills out now and then, but for the most part it stays put. I organize occasionally, take note of my boxes, label then anew, sometimes move them around and on a really good day I can toss a box in the trash.
sometimes I open a box and peek inside, but only when I am feeling strong enough to pick a scab, ya know? sometimes letting it bleed a bit on my own terms is cleansing for me.
but I no longer feel responsible for the contents of the boxes. I didnt fill them. I didnt choose them. they do not reflect who I am. I no longer feel it is my duty to clean them out, fix what is broken or apologize for their existance. they do not define me, control me or prevent me from finding joy in my life.
I have also (somewhat resistantly) given up the notion that I could have a pain-free life. maybe some people have that, but certainly not me. now that I've given that up as a goal, I'm a lot happier.
I know that each person has to find what works for them, this kind of thing is so individual. but at the same time, hearing the way others work through/with their pain was very helpful to me. every now and then I'd pick up a new trick or something and Heaven knows I needed all the help I could get.
dont forget to love you. you are worth it!