Early pregnancy, low cervix and sex

Submitted by ginny on August 9, 2011 - 10:33pm
Body: 

Hello ladies
I am 5 weeks with my third. this is my first pregnancy post prolapse.
I have to admit i feel nervous about having sex with ym cervix so low. It is not right at the opening but certainly lower than a 'normal' pelvis. Should I be worried about this? I also have more aches and mild crampy type feelings than I remember last time. My Dr seems to think that because things are in different spots, that could contribute..... apart from the normal early aches in preganancy. what do you think? Have you worried about this?
thanking you all,

louiseds

August 10, 2011 - 7:21am

I think our attitudes to lots of things, and different types of appetites can change in pregnancy. Sex probably fits into this category. It is a long time ago for me! Being newly pregnant I think it is normal to feel cautious or worried about it, particularly if you feel pressured to have penetrative sex, and guilty for being less than enthusiastic. There are other sexual activities you can indulge in if you feel more comfortable with other non-penetrative alternatives. Also, every pregnancy is different in the way it affects each woman.

This may be the first time in your marriage when you haven't wanted sex, or have been uncomfortable about it, or felt guilty about not wanting it. It probably won't be the last. During my marriage of over 30 years there have been waves of more or less sex all the way through.

However, some men get very worried that this baby means the end of sex, forever or for a long time, particularly if they have never really engaged in the family planning process. I think it is worth talking to your partner about how he feels about it. It is probably also worthwhile asking the doctor in your husband's presence if sex is OK. That is sure to bring a positive response and might kick off the discussion between you.

I know this is your third baby. I don't mean to sound patronising, but it sounds like this is the first time you have experienced this feeling. I hope I haven't made any assumptions.

Louise

ginny

August 10, 2011 - 2:37pm

Hi Louise and thank you for taking the time to reply. I have absolutely no issue with discussing this with my hubby and explaining it to him. I guess my question was not clear and a bit ambiguous....
I just want to know if it is safe to do with my cervix so low....
This is my first pregnancy with a prolapse ( recto cysto and uterine) and while I know u can be intimate in pregnancy safely, I am concerned a very low cervix / uterus could not be safe. Just wanted to know the whole woman perspective. My cervix is certainly low enough to 'be in the way!'
Haven't even seen my OB yet to ask

Thank you

alemama

August 10, 2011 - 2:48pm

well, ramrodding the cervix can cause contractions and so can orgasm. You might want to wait if you have any concerns about that.
otherwise, I'd move it out of the way first by getting on elbows and knees until it pulled up and then flip over with out letting it come back down - and *tahdah* you are ready!

ginny

August 10, 2011 - 2:57pm

Thanks alemama! I will give it a whirl. If nothing else we will get a giggle out of it. Thanks for your response x

louiseds

August 10, 2011 - 9:06pm

:-)

Once you have repositioned your uterus you should be fine. You might find that not lying down on your back or your front for coitus also helps. Try on your side, but I find that being on top in a straddle position is the best of all because I can keep my lumbar curve happening and relax my belly out front, which is just where my uterus needs it!

ginny

August 10, 2011 - 9:11pm

do you mean that if i postion myself right, i can rest my uterus in my belly back where it is meant to be?
I know this is THE BASIS of the whole woman posture but me personally never felt like I got it right- I just end up with a sore and aching lower back.....tips welcome please!

louiseds

August 10, 2011 - 10:30pm

You will get lower back pain if you are trying to tilt your pelvis forward or trying to lift your coccyx consciously. We have found that it works better if we emphasise lifting your chest, rather than concentrating on the pelvis. If you lift your chest it straightens your mid-back curve a bit and your spine moves forward at waist level, making the radius of your lumbar curve greater, but it also allows the top of your sacrum to move forwards and down slightly, which does tilt your pelvis forward and raises your coccyx, both automatically. It also stretches out your rectus abdominus muscles into a firm hammock. If you relax your belly, its weight will also tip your pelvis forwards.

Imagine this. Take a normal laundry bucket and a full, tall bottle like a 2 litre softdrink bottle (which has a slightly rounded base. Stand the bottle in the bucket and lift the bucket by its handle. Now tip the bottle forwards with your other hand, towards the lip of the bucket, and see how the whole bucket tips in the same direction when some of the weight of the bottle is resting against the wall of the bucket. Your uterus will try and 'fall out of your pelvis forwards', but your rectus abdominus muscles restrains it, just like the wall of the bucket restrains the bottle.

Ginny, all our bodies are built with the same pieces, though they all vary in size and proportion. It is possible that your body is not able to utilise WW posture as easily as mine does, because of the way your bones interface with each other. However, I have not always had flexible, strong shoulders. I credit bellydance for that. Flinging around 3m of medium weight chiffon is harder than it looks. Torso isolations are wonderful for increasing flexibility in the upper body.

We all still have the same basic design that enables gestation and birth of large-headed offspring, and is surprisingly mouldable, even in older women. I didn't start bellydance until I was over 50.

I think the reason many women find WW posture tiring is because you need quite strong shoulder and back muscles. When the RA muscles are slightly taut, the shoulder muscles and the balancing position of the upper spine and shoulders has to have some tension to keep the chest raised.

I know you have been on the Forums for three years now, so it is strange that you are still having some difficulty with this. I think it would be worth your while to take a peek at some Youtube clips done by Christine, wholewomaninc, and see if you learn anything new. Go right back to basics. I would also recommend a telephone consult with Christine, or even better, a trip to the Whole Woman Center for some hands on assistance. There are several women on the Forums who have been to the Center and discovered that what they were doing was not correct. A little hands on help was very valuable.

Louise

ginny

August 11, 2011 - 5:42pm

Hi Louise thanks for your long and detailed response.
You are right. Have been a member for over three years and i Come back regularly to poke around and see what's doing. Have christines book and i Really have tried to find comfort with the posture but maybe I could have searched further. Your comment about lifting the torso makes sense to me and definitely feels better when I do it. Would love to go into the centre.....but I am in Australia. A question for you: would you say i Could start with the yoga DVD while pregnant? Have been thinking about purchasing it but would love your opinion. I started swimming again a few weeks ago so I am confident my upper body strength will only get better.
Will spend some time today poking around the centre again.... There is so much info here. Thanks again for your support....x

louiseds

August 12, 2011 - 1:06am

Hi Ginny

I am in Oz too. Yes, I would very much like to get to the WW Center too. Maybe we can get Christine to come here one day? Gardengirl, AussieMum and I have emailed about this previously. We may yet do it. Email me if you, or any other Australian members for that matter, want to go on our little email list.

Re the yoga DVD, I will leave Christine to answer that one. I cannot see any reason why you shouldn't, but I am not a yoga teacher, or a midwife. Do you have a midwife or antenatal physiotherapist who could assess its suitability for you? If you could show it to someone who knows what they are talking about, then they will become aware of it too, which has to be good.

Louise

aussielou

August 12, 2011 - 2:55am

Hi Louiseds,
I am in Oz - Melbourne.
How do I send you my email details/get included on the email list?
I get the impression you are in WA - am I right?
I spent 2 lovely years in perth some time ago.

Regards
Aussielou

ginny

August 12, 2011 - 3:52am

I am in Melbourne
I am actually dreading going to my ob/gyn and discussing this with him. I know he is pro surgery. I wish I Knew of a practioner here that was open minded or even KNEW about WW.
Do you think I should do a separate post about pregnancy and WW yoga?

aussielou

August 12, 2011 - 4:24am

hi Ginny,
I am not sure what to say (other than gee it's cold right now huh). I am very new to the forum - only a couple of months now. I did'nt experience any prolapse until after my third pregnancy and was lucky enough for breastfeeding and and a good physio to get me back into shape. but 3years down the track I have prolapse symptoms because of a number of factors. won't bore you with that right now.
Surely your ob/gyn is not talking about surgery now. A good physio would be good though. See what he says but don't be talked into anything you are uncomfortable about.
I am happy to make contact with you via email etc i just don't know the protocols for that yet on this site. Tell me if you know how.
Sending you good thoughts. I am in a challenging place right now, dealing with a lot of anxiety but trying to get it under control.
Aussielou

Christine

August 12, 2011 - 11:07am

Hi Ginny,

Quick answer to your question... I think most of the WWY1 dvd is very good for early pregnancy, with the exception of the prone exercises (there are only a few). As you move well into the third stage, your sacrum can't fully nutate, so perhaps walking and easier exercise is best at that point.

The upcoming WWY2 dvd was made with postpartum women in mind. It will be good for everyone, but may be the best pp video we have yet. I am looking forward to feedback.

Christine

ginny

August 12, 2011 - 5:15pm

Hi aussielou
Where in Melb are you? Can you share with me how a physio helped your prolapse? What types of prolapse do you have? I am curious as from reading on the site I thought physics weren't a great help for prolapse, more so pelvic floor stuff. Interested to know!

ginny

August 12, 2011 - 5:16pm

Thanks Christine
Hopping online to get it now
x

louiseds

August 12, 2011 - 11:42pm

Ginny and Aussielou, and any other newbies who are interested, you can email each other any other Member by clicking on their red username link, which takes you to their profile. Then click on the Contact tab. If they have enabled email contact, just fill in the fields and start corresponding. Once you have the other person's email address, put it in your address book. You can then just just carry on the conversation as you would normally.

There is a topic in the Housekeeping Forum with some tips about using the personal email feature. I suggest that all newbies read this before emailing other members.

Likewise if you have good reason for not wanting anyone to contact you by email, go to the Edit tab in your profile and disable the email feature.

If you want to contact someone who has email disabled, suggest on the Forum to that person that you want to email them and request that they enable email. We can't make Members enable their email for privacy reasons. Some people do have valid reasons for not wanting email contact, but we suggest that you enable it for greatest benefit.

Louise