Questions, Questions, and More Questions

really only have a few min, kids are waiting for bedtime stories...so quickly...

my primary prolapse is a cystocele, it has not 'reversed' but is alot smaller,higher than it was and is asymptomatic. good enough for me.

most of the time I cant feel any movement of my pelvic organs unless I put a finger in. exceptions being during firebreathing and nauli

personally, I feel movement on exhalation (during firebreathing), but maybe everyone's different

I dont nauli while firebreathing, I do it after. I learned nauli from youtube. somewhere here is a link to youtube that alemama provided. try typing it into the search box

core strengthening....WW posture, firebreathing, nauli are great for core strengthening. lower belly should be relaxed enough to allow room for organs, but not floppy. the abs are pretty active in WW posture.

I would do the exercises without the pessary, but I dont wear one so maybe others will comment here.

good questions, by the way. you know that for every woman that posts a question there are probably quite a few benefiting from the answers.
keep at it, keep asking.

Hi Marric,
I read your post with interest. I also am fairly new to prolapse (at age 64) and have been practicing WW posture for 2 1/2 months. About your question #7...I share your feeling about core strength going to pot. After spending 10 months diligently doing Pilates and building my core strength and then experiencing prolapse, I now feel my lower belly is a jelly belly. But I recognize that WW posture is a very active posture and strengthens lots of the ab muscles--the sides of my abs feel tighter, while the middle is a little like pudding. I'm still working on my attitude about my mid-section. Best wishes for good healing! --keh

Hi Keh

It all comes down to the belief that 'a flat belly on a woman is an obedient, and therefore a good belly'.

Your lower abdomen, on top of the pubic symphysis is the *only* place your uterus and bladder can seek refuge from the downward directed intraabdominal forces and gravity itself. If you have POP a flat belly therefore flies in the face of maintaining the integrity of your body.

If the centre of your belly feels floppy either your chest is not too low or your pubic symphysis is too high, or there may be something else happening somewhere else in your body that is preventing their normalisation. Perhaps this could be weakness in your upper body, stiffness in your lumbar spine? Or else you are interpreting normal trampoline bounciness of your rectus abdominus for floppiness. A woman's belly is not designed to be taut. Maybe it is Pilates that is wrong, creating this myth, and a man is not supposed to have a taut (habitually contracted) belly either? The geometry is all wrong for a human to have a taut, flat belly.

Take a look at any photo in a National Geographic of a primitve man who hunts for food. Does he have a flat, taut belly? No, it is usually gently curved, even if he is quite young, except if he is standing in a position where his pelvis is thrust forward to show off his 'gourd' which he is no doubt very proud of, or standing with his weight mostly on one foot, which will also tilt the pelvis backwards and raise his pubic symphysis. The other time it will be taut is if he is an adolescent whose bones have grown, but his musculature has not yet filled out (the gangly teenager who cannot eat enough to keep up with his own growth), or else he is emaciated and the contents of his abdominal cavity is not full of digesting food, and therefore shrunken.

I believe the flat belly obsession that many girls and women (and boys and men) have is about trying to have the body appearance of a virgin who has not yet matured, or else it is the virgin herself trying not to grow up and be a real woman (or man). It is a quest for sexual attractiveness based on deceiving men and boys (or women and girls) into thinking they are younger, and therefore more attractive for mating, sexual satisfaction and a long and disease free reproductive life.

You've heard of insects that try to look like tree branches? Well ... nature is thick with animals trying to look like something they are not, or trying not to look like safe food, for 'personal' gain. What makes humans any different, with our high heels, pushup bras, tight jeans, corsetry, fancy hairdos, fast cars, bling, etc? We are indeed a strange species.

Louise, yes, I think I interpret bounciness for floppiness. When I stand it seems bouncy; when I'm lying on my side it feels floppy. I would guess my lumbar spine is also stiff, affected by scoliosis. I've never defined myself by form/looks, but it appears I've been socialized (more than I realized) to expect a different mid-section at this point in my life. As I said in my post, I'm still working on my attitude about this. But the belly issue has also created wardrobe challenges, from the crotch rubbing and pulling of pants and shorts to the discomfort of even my panties sitting on my hips. My prolapse symptoms have been very much better the last few days and the belly issue also seems to be very much more comfortable if I make sure I don't eat too much, since rectocele is a large part of my prolapse issue. Also, back to my earlier post about sex, to which you responded, the vaginal dryness and the burning vulva suddenly were eased--I don't know why--and my husband and I have had a couple of very happy times together. Thanks for your thoughts. --keh

Hey, Keh! You're taking successful baby steps. Well done.

Yes, the wardrobe challenges can be very challenging. I do still have some unsuitable clothes in my wardrobe. I will never wear them again because every time I wear them I feel confined. Time for a clean out!

All my skirts are wrap arounds or stretchy, or bias cut fabric, with adjustable or very stretchy waist bands. I mostly make my own skirts and trousers, so I make the waists stretchable and adjustable, so I can loosen or tighten or replace the elastic accordingly. All mine have high loos-ish waists, just because anything hipster will end up falling down with embarrassing consequences. I don't ever wear fashion clothes that will only last a season or two. I will die with my existing wardrobe either in use or in tatters.

I have literally given up buying slacks because none of them is the right shape for my body. I do wear yoga pants a lot in winter, with leggings underneath for warmth. I often wear leggings under skirts as well, so I only have clothes that cross all seasons, and I layer other garments on top.

I have designed my own trouser pattern with an elastic waist and very deep side seam pocket openings. The side pockets are actually a big placket, or pleat. These hang well while I am standing and are quite fitted around the body, but when I squat or bend over the pockets gape open and create about 250mm more more circumference around my ample belly. Because they hang from just below my waist and are quite full at the top of the legs they do not grasp my crotch when I sit or bend. They are more like stright-legged culottes really. I have no hips or butt, with my smallest measurement at my waist and my widest measurement about 50 mm below the waist, so they only need a little gathering at the waist to keep them up. This design works well for me, but might not work as well for a woman with slim waist, but bigger hips and butt. In this case I am sure it would be easy to insert a zipper down the back or front, but leave the waist a little gathered to allow for expansion and contraction of the waist and lower belly with movement and breathing. The deep side pockets make this design work. The slit for the pockets have to come down below crotch level. christine has a design that has a bias cut gusset in the crotch too. I think getting a professional dressmaker to make up a pattern of this type for you would be a good investment, so you can simply find the fabric you want and have her make trousers for you when you need them.

I am quite convinced that many fashion garments are designed so that we are always uncomfortable and dissatisfied with them, and will go back like lemmings next year, hoping to buy something more comfortable. There would not be a fashion industry if we insisted that every garment be comfortable and last forever. I am just an old tight-wad at heart! I simply hate clothes shopping, so the longer my garments last, the less times I have to go shopping in this lifetime.

It is all compromise between fashion and style; fitting, drape and comfort; shopping time vs dressmaking time. You can also make clever use of different fabrics, eg ever since my first pregnancy I have owned several simple straight tube skirts made from poly/cotton t-shirt ribbing fabric. This fabric is ultra stretchy (so stretchy that I can sit cross-legged in them no probs), absorbent for summer perspiration, quite heavy (so it hangs well), totally non-iron and indestructible. During pregnancies it was easy to add tie tape to the ends of the elastic so I could increase the size of the waistband every week if I needed to. After I finished having babies I just took off the tie tapes and removed about 180mm of circumference out of it so the fit is now quite slim. I wear these skirts with tops that come down to hip level or lower.

If you are a fashion shopper I can't be any help at all! All I know is that once you get a few comfortable pieces of clothing you will expect all garments to be as comfortable and the rest of your wardrobe will remain untouched.

ps, I made one of my summer skirts during my first pregnancy. DS1 just turned 29, and the skirt is still as good as the day I made it. It has been my constant companion.

Hello Keh
As someone with a lifetime of holding in my stomach and thereby wearing skirts and trousers probably a size too small, I initially found my new WW stomach rather diffcult to acommodate too. I found WW about 3 or 4 months ago and was at first rather embarrassed to be seen with my newly relaxed ample stomach, which seemed to precede me round corners. Several months on, I have become quite fond of my new shape and enjoy seeing my midriff bulge disappear and waist narrow when I pull my chest up. It's actually a lovely shape, very feminine. If I could just lose some fat from my stomach (always a work in progress) then it would be even better.
With regard to clothes, I'm unfortunately not skilled enough to make my own (horrible memories of producing peculiar and unwearable items in needlework lessons at school) so instead I have abandoned all my old trousers and fitted skirts, and only wear elastic waisted or slightly unzippered skirts. I discovered some pull-on jeans with a soft elasticated waist, bought a size bigger than I would normally wear and find that they are really comfortable and look ok. To be honest I don't mind so much what I look like any more, as long as I feel comfortable, but I do think it is possible to look nice and be comfortable at the same time. The best thing I have done is buy bigger knickers, as I realised that my old little ones were quite tight and cut in under my stomach. What blessed relief, I love big knickers! I have also given up wearing heels, not sure why or if it is necessary, but it feels right for me.
I'm glad you're feeling better, good luck with the clothes
Tintagel

personally, I have not made any major changes in my wardrobe. I wear only skirts anyway, so trousers were never an issue.
I have some elastic waist skirts, but most are not. I prefer (always have) to wear my skirts lower than my 'true waist' so if it means I buy a size up and take in on the sides, that's what I do. or more often, I dont and just wear 'em a bit big.
when low rise was in style I was in heaven because everything fit me well.
the few changes I made were these: I rarely wear pantyhose (and never control top) or heels anymore. (by rarely I mean a few hours a week). I do find that the pantyhose squeeze (can be avoided by finding maternity hose) and the heels hurt my back when I try to stay in ww posture.

@marric- I'm 39. I noticed a relief in symptoms like urge to pee, heaviness, discomfort with standing/walking pretty quickly (like a month or so). I didnt notice the bulge getting smaller or higher for a long time. I dont remember exactly, but want to say in the ballpark of 6 mo to a year?

Hi Tintagel. Thanks for your advice. I am an accomplished seamstress and last week did an inventory of my voluminous collection of fabrics. It's a matter of the time required. I appreciated Louise's suggestions and was intrigued by her pants design--she says they don't grab the crotch when she sits. Yea! It seems my body type is quite different from hers, because I have a smallish waist and am well endowed in the behind, so I'm not sure how her design would hang on me. I am wearing lots of skirts now (I've never bought so many skirts), and I have two pairs of shorts that are comfortable. Cooler weather will change things, I know. More immediately, though, is the issue of "knickers." I've always bought underwear bigger than the salespeople think I need, but comfort has always been important to me. Several years ago, long before I had prolapse, I got frustrated not being able to find underwear that was comfortable and I drew off a pattern from my existing ones that, of course, had been discontinued. After doing Pilates for a few months, I found that the collection of underwear I had previously purchased felt fine again. Oops. After the prolapse occurred (after my 10 months of Pilates), guess what--that purchased underwear drives me crazy again. My collection of panties that I've made has dwindled, so now I'll be making another batch. Then I guess I can work on outerwear. Meanwhile, I have a pretty limited wardrobe, and getting dressed is a dilemma every day: "What will feel comfortable today?", and it always depends on whether it's early in the day or late in the day, or whether the rectum is full or empty.....and on. I'm sure this is more than you wanted to hear, but I imagine lots of others on this site have the same issues. Still working on it. Thanks for your comments. --keh

I like the low rise, they fit under the belly so they dont affect my POP at all

Keh, the dilemma you describe with knickers is very real. I wish we could buy stick on knickers, as long as they didn't stick to pubic hair! No riding up. No falling down. No tight waist. No grabbing you by the crotch. No visible panty line. Sigh.

Louise and granolamom, thanks for your input. I've made a new batch of panties, so at least starting from the inside out, I'll be okay for a while. Louise, I might be asking you more questions about your pants pattern this fall as I pull out my fabrics and figure out what will work best for me. With most of my pants and shorts, the issue really is the crotch-grabbing when I sit down, much more than the diameter at the waist. It's been a weird journey so far with my changing mid-section. About four weeks after my prolapse discovery, I felt as though my belly looked eight months pregnant. For the last several weeks, it has seemed much more "normal." Maybe my intestines were inflamed or irritated by the rectocele issue or by the introduction of so much more salad material than I was used to??? Always questions... Your advice is always helpful and appreciated. Thanks. --keh

Sure Keh. You could try searching the Forums for "gusset", and you will probably dig out Christine's trouser pattern description.

This crotch rubbing characteristic of patterns is dealt with quite effectively by use of a gusset, and is often seen in golf trousers. The alternative is to change the cut of the trousers in the crotch area, to make the X intersection of the two leg seams and the two body seams come further forward, ie make the back pieces come further forward in the crotch and become relatively bigger than the front pieces, which will become correspondingly smaller. This makes the fabric in the crotch part of the back pieces align more on the bias, which gives it the same sort of stretch as a gusset.

See how you go searching for it. I no longer seem to have Christine's pattern saved on my computer. I suggest that you email Christine and ask her for information about it. You might be able to find a pattern for golf trousers with a gusset on the WWW too.

Louise