set backs

Setbacks for me are a reminder that this is a lifetime of work. I've succeeded at staying in posture as I go throughout my day, but I have numerous weak spots.....food choices, exercise, evening slouching, hurried bathroom visits involving straining, failure to divide and arrange my load when I have stuff to carry. It's all connected, even when we do not see the connections. Setbacks are the wake-up calls that keep me on track, and as such, I don't fear them....they spur me to take necessary steps. - Surviving

I think I have said this before Ivonush so pardon the repetition.

You said you have improved enormously - congratulations!

I think you feel 'normal' is the best outcome of all, we all agree. However our normal has changed now.

Walking isn't an instant fix, but with the posture and movement it's the best way forward.
If I am 'stuck' it takes weeks of walking to create a consistent change ... sometimes it happens very quickly, other times not so much.

But I know if I don't walk things get gradually worse.

Walking and exercise is not only for your prolapse - it's for your heart, lungs, muscles, ligaments, skin ... fresh air, sunshine, nature - how wonderful this free activity is.

But most of all - it is one of the best treatments for depression - sunshine, fresh air and exercise is absolutely necessary for good emotional health.

I think - sorry if I am wrong - that like many of us, you are experience lack of control - I have been a 'control freak' in my past and you are always met with strong challenges. You cannot control some things - remember the serenity quote I posted?

I also have really bad days still - but they are the days I get busy and active and get outside of my body rather than focus on what is wrong with it. As I said before when I was away overseas I still had all the same symptoms, it's just my attention was focussed elsewhere and I felt happier and healthier because I didn't focus on the negative. That is the control you really have, where your mind dwells.

I still have sad, depressed, angry moments ... but less so - because they are unproductive and I believe make symptoms far worse as I believe our prolapses are strongly affected by our emotional state - whenever we are in trauma or angry we can really feel them.

So perhaps accept your 'normal' and then you won't have the seesaw of life so much.

Once you do that - when things are bad - you won't have the strong emotional response - you will be more matter of fact, get the work done and move on.

x

Ivonush, you once posted on this forum about the stages of grief. Maybe you can look that up now, and try to see where in the process you got stuck. What is it that you are trying to do in your life, that you cannot do because of prolapse?

What Takecare wrote about redefining "normal" is so true and important. If normal to you means a day without symptoms, well, most of us said good-bye to that version of normal a long time ago. What we have instead is a different and arguably a BETTER normal, with bodies that are in various stages of correcting years of bad stuff. I have no desire to go back to that old body. I don't resent my symptoms in the least. They are a daily reminder of how far I have travelled and why this work is so important to me personally.

Ivonush, we know you've had other issues, of which your rectocele was just one of the most recent. If you are still getting sad, well, get out and live your life, find things you can do for others, and make yourself happy! Only you can do this. - Hugs to you - Surviving

Ivonush, when you said "set-backs for me are reminders that I cannot live my life the way it was possible before", it got me thinking.

This is very true for all of us. However, I am also reminded that 'I cannot live my life the way it was possible before' also relates to other types of regrets, like the fact that I don't see my kids every day like I did when they were small, or that I was single a long time ago, and I regret not being single now, or that I was a carefree schoolgirl even longer ago, and I could climb trees every day. Yeah, sure, it would be lovely to see my kids every day, and it would be great to be single again, and it would be great to climb more trees. But jeez they are a noisy, grown up, opinionated lot now, and having them around every day wouldn't leave much time in the day for other things. If I was single I would be rattling around in this big house without company every night; and climbing trees is not quite the enjoyable adventure these days that it was when I was young. Ladders are more predictable.

We just have to let some things go. To regretfully cling onto 'what was', is to miss out on 'what is', and what 'might be' can get lost in the fog and be too easily ignored.

Then we are stuck in the past, with nowhere to go, and only our regrets for company. We become completely self-centred and boring, with no way of thinking about anyone else, other than ourselves. We can go deeper and deeper inside ourselves looking for answers to our own dilemma, or we can go outside of ourselves looking for answers. There has to be a balance between the two.

"I looked down and bemoaned the fact that I had no shoes. Then I looked up and saw a man who had no feet."

Ya got lemons? Lucky you.

Make lemonade!

We haven't heard from you for some time. It sounds as if you are making certain, if slow, strides towards living better. Your posts are more hopeful but it still sounds as if you are surprised when symptoms return and haunt you again like a heavy chain around your ankle that you have somehow managed to ignore while life was good.

You will always have prolapse. We all will. Occasionally my symptoms return and I don't know why. I have found that the best thing to do is recognise them as signs that I need to take action to sharpen myself up, then take some action to send them packing. There are only a few actions that I take to deal with symptoms.

Posture
More balanced diet
Drink more
Eat more veges
Find new ways to do heavy tasks
Ditch the tight trousers
Stop worrying
Remove the stressor
Go for a walk.
Do something to distract myself from the symptoms

You will have your own list.

If I do all those things my symptoms disappear again. That is all I can do. There is no point in wringing my hands and saying, "Poor me."

Hope you can find a way to enjoy being just the person you are.

Louise

I have been a member for about 7 wks, so I'm still very new to the whole concept of adjusting my life to the the way of living. Set backs makes me question if this is going to work for me. I started off by really working hard on the posture and getting it right and things started improving Some. But been very busy the last few weeks remodeling our family room and I found the excercising and practicing posture took a backseat to everything else. So now I am paying the price because my prolapse has gotten worse. My uterus is actually hanging out of my body quite low. Do I need to push it back in before I start exercising , although it has been falling back out. I do not want to quit but I'm not sure how to start again. Is it okay to take a bath if it is out or should I push it back up before I get into the water? I like a very warm , almost hot bath and I think it would not be good for my uterus to be exposed to the heat.

I understand set backs are normal but I caused this myself by lifting and moving heavy furniture. but it is very upsetting, and depressing to pedal backwards. I have copied the list above and is now on my refrigerator to help me stay focused. I love this site and all the wonderful information you are all willing to share to help us newbees travel the path to a healthier and happy life.

In the past I would read the success stories of the other members to help me stay focus. There are alot of wonerful stories out there. These very caring ladies have posted their stories to help us, Also I have turned to my Bible for encouragement. The Lord has gven us this beautiful body that we need to learn to take care of.

Love to each of you,
Bay

Now after expressing the disappointment of the way my life has been lately, I need to jump back in the programd

Hi Bay and thanks for sharing your story. I would think as far as the bath is concerned, you should do whatever is most comfortable. Really hot bathwater touching an exposed cervix doesn't sound too pleasant to me.........other opinions?

All of our setbacks are probably triggered by something that we do or don't do, even if we can't always connect the dots that easily. The setbacks that happen when you are new to WW are the hardest, because you haven't yet learned from experience that those times will come and go, and that you have the power to improve things. Please keep sharing here, Bay, and do not ever lose confidence in your ability to do this. Firebreathing and nauli are some tools that anyone with a really low cervix needs to have. Are you using these? Don't be lazy about posture. When I get that way, I feel it. Hang in there!

that won't hurt anything. Replace your uterus before getting in the tub, before exercising, and when you are annoyed by it.
Keep things clean (your hands and nails) and lubricated.

Good points from Surviving and Alemama. I would only add that you cannot reposition an object that has fallen off a shelf until you shove it back onto its shelf, in the same way that you cannot do exercises to stabilise a dislocated elbow until you have popped it back in. It is simple mechanics.

I would think that an effective way to reposition it would be to firebreathe it back in.

Do you have a pessary, by any chance? It might be helpful just to help you to stabilise your uterus in the short term.

I would also be ultra conservative about everyday activities for a while. Lots of elbows and knees. Keep your tummy relaxed at all times to give your uterus a safe hollow . Keep constipation well under control and absolutely no straining. Lots of firebreathing too every day.

Here's hoping it comes good for you.

Louise

Hi Everyone and thank you so much for your your encouragement to keep me going.First , I wish I could use a pessary, tried several and they make me very sore or they fall out and don't stay in position. So I have given up on that for now anyway. Louiseds, I really liked your comment about falling off the shelf, that really made sense as I had not thought of it that way before. So that was how I started my day this morning, pushing things up and getting into posture.

Am taking it easy for awhile, which is hard because I'm a very active person, telling myself this a little mini vacation at home.

Will try firebreathing again, have done some in the past but didn't seem to feel results. I don't think I have mastered the technique quite right. Will keep trying.

Does anyone feel that the use of the honey and/ flaxseed oil would benefit me? If so, how and when would I use them?

I have a very positive attitude today, thanks to all of you nice wonderful ladies and this great website.

Will keep posting as to how I'm doing.

thanks a million,
Bay

Dear Bay, I am very new on this site...just a bit over 2 weeks. I too am very grateful to have found this amazing forum with these amazing WW teachers. I have seen some ups and downs already and am looking positively on those ups. I have a little check list for my posture now and it seems to be helping me so as not to get overwhelmed with all we are trying to change. Also what has helped me is the concept of this breath. It might help you when you get overwhelmed. Take the checklist into position and calmly breath into that soft tummy. My yoga teacher used to say (I say used to since I now only do yoga from Christine's dvd until I really know what I am doing and what I can safely do) ...you must have your breath with you at all times and then a soft smile on the face can do wonders. Sending you best wishes!

that's the vacation at home.
I was so so careful at first and I think that's good until you learn your new baseline- then you can change it up a bit and see how it goes.

hi ivonush

you wrote:

"In terms of removing the stressor, it is the hardest one. I seem to be calm on the surface but my body shows that I still respond...
My problems/symptoms are so linked to the stress... unfortunately this is an aftermath of my past...I can only imagine that in order to survive I had to
tighten my muscles like an amour...
And I tend to respond with the same automatic action at present...
I am much better on my cognitive level, more able to create some positive thinking...but my body still responds...will it ever stop getting into this overwhelmed reaction? I am not in the "jungle", I am not in my past...but I do respond as if I was attacked by the trigger...I am only more aware..."

and that got me thinking....I, too, responded to the trauma in my life in a very physical way, tightening up my muscles and such. it is an ongoing thing for me, learning to allow my body to relax now that I am 'safe'.
for me, the set backs, both the ones related to POP and the ones that pop up as other chronic pain conditions, remind me that I have still more emotional work to do. it spurs me on to greater levels of healing. healing is painful work, emotionally that is, and I avoid it sometimes. I grow complacent and ignore some of the crap that is still underneath my facade. my body doesnt fall for that though, so it lets me know I'm not done.
I view my setbacks as I view a misbehaving child...communication. just as my misbehaving child is communicating to me that something is not right in his world and he needs my love, support and guidance, a physical setback is the way my body is trying to communicate something to me. I try to listen because otherwise it doesnt shut up! (I seem to have a very stubborn body : ))
if nothing else, when experiencing a set back, give yourself some love and support.

Ivonush, just curious. Have you ever tried hypnosis as a means of convincing yourself that you really are safe, and that your subconscious is playing tricks on you, and that there is no need for your body to react so much?

sounds good to me. Baby steps. L

I have been working on posture, physiotherapy, exercises and life changes to improve my cyctocele and rectocele for just over 8 weeks and I can say with certainty that the work has helped things to improve for me on many days. I do find that there is still an emotional roller coaster that comes from progress and set backs. I am working hard to define and accept what normal for me will be. It is hard to feel any confidence that a set back is not actually a deterioration of my condition and it is a constant reminder that things have changed forever. I have turned to the forums over and over using the same searches, reading the same positive posts to remind myself that I will be OK.

What I look for on bad days are success stories and postings from others that will reassure me that that bad days are temporary and that tomorrow will be better. I want to know that I will have more good days than bad and that someday I will weed my garden, carry laundry baskets and kick a ball with my child without wondering if I am falling apart. It helps a great deal to read that everyone has good days and bad. I have no one to turn to in my personal life so I look to the forums and am thankful to find the supportive woman willing to help. I can't imagine how I would have dealt with this without the internet. Thank you to those who have walked this path before me for posting your experiences. I hope that all of you have more good days than bad :)

I am still fairly new to this so don't have a lot of progress to contribute yet but maybe someone new out there will find it helpful to know that in a few months I was able to overcome the depression and grief that came with the realization that I have POP and I have improved my symptoms making sure to eat right, not get constipated, practicing proper posture and by strengthening my pelvic floor with assistance from a physiotherapist. I know lots of people say that kegels are no help at all but I have found a huge improvement doing them the way my PT suggests. Also, for anyone at a loss for help from their GP or OBGYN, I would suggest searching for a PT or pelvic floor clinic in your area. My physiotherapist says that 90% of her patients are POP, I bawled in her office asking dozens of questions and she had answers.

Hi Mamamia and welcome! I am curious to know if your PT has ever heard of Christine Kent or WholeWoman. Most PT's have a somewhat different idea of what constitutes natural posture for prolapse maintenance. You are still fairly new with this, so keep on doing what works for you, but keep an open mind. Yes, kegels are a point of discussion. I did them carefully and regularly, for decades before my prolapses appeared. So I know those kegels weren't of much use to me and might have worked against me. When I first read CK's thoughts on the subject, I said to myself, Yeah, she hit that nail right on the head!!

I have been following WW methods for 2 years now, and thank my lucky stars every day. My hips feel better too. The real, true natural posture we were born with is how we were meant to carry ourselves throughout life.

Keep us posted on your progress, and keep using this fabulous forum and all the many resources of Whole Woman! - Surviving

Hi Surviving, I'm so glad you were curious about the PT ever hearing of Christine Kent or wholewoman. I was wondering the same thing. Just wanted to say I also thank my lucky stars every day that I found Wholewomenbefore it was too late. I know I am only three months into this but I have definetely had some improvement. I agree with you that the real, true natural posture we were born with is how we were meant to carry ourselves throughout life. So glad you made that comment.

HUGS to you, Jaylove

This is an interesting place for me to introduce myself since I am also working though the grief. This has been coming on for quite some time, but i was not paying attention to my body. I gave birth to 8 very large babies, two with dystocias, and now work as a crisis and disaster response chaplain. Last year beside my ministry, we were forced to sell our farm and I moved it, virtually alone, while my husband was at his new job. I have slowly been getting out of shape with the "intentions" of working on it. Instead I have bouts of intense activity and then nothing. Not great for the body. First arthritis in the back - constant horrible pain - then fasciitis - menopause and some weight gain, and now after lifting box and after box and a bought with constipation, it suddenly came way down. My poor womb. Of course the doctor said hysterectomy and I sat in my car and wept. But I am not ready to go there. My uterus nurtured 8 babes and I'm kind of attached to it. And obviously it to me or it wouldn't be hurting me! Thank God I know grief, not making rash decisions and began the search that led me here.
I did the exercises today and am trying the posture. But my back HURTS. For years I saw a chiropractor and I wonder how much was my uterus!! And through menopause I often felt like I was falling out, but never put the pieces together. Nor did my gyn say a word about the prolapse! Why not a warning that I was state 1 - instead of 2 to 3. This is not a new normal I want. But I take a deep breath and trust the God I love that gives me one more area of empathy and the knowlege I need to get back to some quiet, and focused me time.
But it hurts ladies the body and the soul. This really hurts.

Dearest Chappie – you are in such good company here, we have all felt that grief and loss, and lived to tell about it! You will too, and you will help guide others along the path. Just take a deep breath and don’t even think about parting with your wonderful uterus. You say you are doing the exercises and posture. Are you working from Christine’s book and/or vids, or just from the information here? Can you tell us more about what you’re doing? Do you have the WW posture principles at least in your head for now? You are working new muscles in new ways. It takes time. We’re here to help. – Surviving60

Chappie, Chappie, God love your soul. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear about your GYN not giving you a warning. Thats the medical field for you. It sounds like you need rest for your body and soul. You do not have to give up your uterus. You might want to click on the Theatre tab at the top of this page and then click on WW 101. You will receive valuable info. from the founder of Wholewomen - Christine Kent then if you would type any word in the Search Box at the left of the page - Past post will come up pertaining to what you need to know. The WW teachers will give you good guidance and advice when they see your post. Till then keep your chin up and know you are in the right place. You will learn so much and receive support here. We are all on this journey together. All the best to you!!

((HUGS)) Jaylove

Hi Mamamia

I don't think anyone here would say not to do Kegels, but that they are not necessary and they need to be done while upright and in WW posture. If you think the Kegels have helped with prolapse, that is great. They will strengthen your pelvic floor, and it will feel less saggy; and they will be stronger for sex; and you will feel them working; and they will help with bladder continence if the sphincter muscle around your urethra has been weak. But don't get that mixed up with improving prolapse. Yes, a less saggy pelvic floor will feel like it is giving your organs more stability, but the thing that makes them sag is the stretching of the internal support structures for the bladder, uterus and rectum, which have become loose and more floppy; and possibly damage to the pelvic floor muscles, mainly during vaginal birth where interventions have changed the labour and birth. A strong, active pelvic floor, that you can feel working, is just as important as strong, active abdominal and back muscles, but working them in everyday movement in WW posture all day is just as effective for strengthening them as Kegels.

No matter how strong your pelvic floor, prolapse symptoms and organs that impinge on the vagina will always be a possibility unless you get your posture organised, so that they are resting on bone instead of soft tissue.

Hi Chappie

I held a bonfire gathering last night for our southern hemisphere winter solstice, and spent all day getting ready. There were dead tree branches to cart to the pile, building the pile, a hole to dig for coals to cook a stew in the camp oven, collecting chairs and a table from the shed, lugging round heavy extension leads and large pots full of food. I did feel some symptoms appearing, but altered my technique of lifting and carrying to make them go away. I should have been feeling really prolapsey by the end of the night, but I was fine. I wonder how I will feel after carting all the gear back to the shed and stowing it again, tomorrow?

Yes, physical labour can bring us undone. A few more days of heavy lifting and carrying might have done me in too. Bouts of intense activity followed by nothing are not really ideal. I need to work on more constant, gentle activity myself. I know WW posture will help alleviate your symptoms. It can take a while, but is worth the patience and effort.

Louise