new - totally confused. help?

Body: 

I'm in Canada and currently waiting until the end of august to see an ob/gyn. I have prolapse of some kind although i'm not sure which... I suspect all three.

I suspect this has been developing for years but am just now seeing the end results of untreated prolapse. When I first became sexually active and all through my 20's intercourse was uncomfortable, deep penetration caused a sharp pain which I assumed was my cervix, and I have always only been able to actually enjoy sex in one position (on top). I also went through a phase where I had recurring bladder infections. Despite requesting to see a urologist I was just repeatedly prescribed antibiotics and eventually became allergic to some kinds. I had one unconfirmed miscarriage (severe pain and bleeding), then my first pregnancy went fine, I had diastasis recti (abdominal wall tear) but I had a 9.5 pound very large baby born with forceps after I had hyperstimulated contractions, resulting in a 3rd degree episiotomy tear. I had hours of pushing. I was bladder incontinent for about 2 months and the scar tissue took about a year to heal, but eventually it felt ok again, not the same as it once did but ok.

My second pregnancy I carried very low. I had regular contractions on and off the whole pregnancy that were not alleviated by rest. I again had diastasis recti but also pubis symphasis where the hips widen and the pelvic bones are spread. At 6 months I thought I saw tissue or lumps or something in the vagina and went to the doctor. I was told it was normal, tissues swell during pregnancy, could be the hymen. The delivery went well, very fast, the contractions hurt a ton and I had a second degree tear but was told everything looked great. But she did note that the vagina was gaping open. When I ate I could see my stomach bulging through my abdominal wall, I would get stomach cramps and diarrhea and felt like my organs were falling out of my stomach. I asked my midwife why I could see tissue in the vagina and she told me it was fine, it was normal.

4 months postpartum I went back to the doctor still having tissue in there (worse, I could actually SEE my cervix at the opening and there was some at the back hanging out...), cramps and diarrhea, intercourse was almost unbearable. He referred me to an ob/gyn which i'm waiting to see. 5 months postpartum I am now having problems going to the bathroom, stool gets stuck but i try not to strain yet when I go I get tearing and I feel like I still have to go, going pee I am not fully emptying the bladder and feel like a uti may be starting. I'm slightly incontinent for both. I cannot avoid heavy lifting as I have a 5 month old and it makes it worse... but I will not stop holding my baby not a chance.

do I just wait it out or should I go back, what can I do in the meantime, what are my options...

I can understand your frustration with this. I too had to wait until the end of August to see a Gyn, about 8 years ago. It gave me plenty of time to get Christine's book and devour it. So I was able to go along with some understanding of my anatomy, and of prolapse in general. By the time I got there I could feel some improvement from my efforts, but the gyn was bemused by it all. I never went back for the hysterectomy and stitch up. I am fine now.

I had the same sharp pain with coitus when I was young. I eventually put it down to my retroverted uterus. It wasn't a problem after my first baby. I guess everything was more mobile by then.

It sounds like your first birth was pretty brutal, in more than one way, and your second pregnancy was not easy, and must have left you feeling like you were falling apart.

It sounds to me like your uterus is retroverted and is putting pressure on your rectum, preventing it from operating properly. You have two big episiotomies, so there could also be some tissue tags and some scarring in your vagina. It is very difficult to suture tissue accurately when it is swollen after the birth.

The tearing you feel is probably from a fissure, where the first episiotomy was sutured out of alignment. A third degree episiotomy cuts into the anal sphincter.

Having said all that I have no medical qualifications. I really think you need to talk to your Ob or the Gyn you will be seeing, to get a better picture of the damage.

How are the diastasis and the syphysis pubis now?

Take a look at the resources on this site, to get a better understanding of how your pelvic region works, and check out the FAQ's tab at the top of the page to learn about Whole woman posture, and how it works. It will help pull all your bones together, and close the diastasis like the two halves of a stretched rubber band, because you are putting the pubic symphysis into compression, and you are stretching the rectus abdominus muscle lengthwise. You can also find some excerpts of Christine Kent's DVD's on YouTube, to get you started.

You are still at the beginning of your recovery from this second pregnancy. Remember that you went into your second pregnancy, already 'loosened' by the first pregnancy. It will be two years before all your insides have completely reverted after this last pregnancy. Three to six months pp is usually the worst time for POP. We don't know why. It just is. You need to be very patient for the next couple of months.

Use your time well by learning to use your body differently, so that you can conserve your internal structures and not worsen your prolapse.

When you have had a look around the site, come back with some specific questions and we will endeavour to answer them for you.

Louise

thank you! that does make a lot of sense... I have been browsing the site when I can, and focusing on the posture and on not bearing down, a bad habit it seems that I've noticed just recently. I guess I carry tension in my belly, even when I'm sitting I have to focus on not doing it. Plus trying to hold everything in from the diastasis.. that is doing a little better, but walking and carrying baby does make it worse. I am going to order the dvd but being in canada i can wait months for customs to clear. i wish there was a way to get the ebook. I'm so glad I found this site, I have a lot better understanding now. a few questions... is it ok to have sex? should I stop trying? if I can get past that first bit, and get in the mindset for it (ie not thinking about how broken it seems...) it's ok after a while, but I will wait if it's not advisable. and with the retocele, would a liquid diet help heal it or is it a temporary fix? I find I have less cramping and diarrhea with small meals and soft foods. I also notice I seem to go only about once a week and wonder if I should be taking laxatives or something to go more frequently, would that help or make it worse? sorry for all the questions...

Hi wheayting - There is a ton of information on this site that you can use to get you started on posture and movement. The idea is to keep the belly relaxed so the organs have a place to go. Chest pulled up strongly, with shoulders down, keeps you from feeling floppy, and the combination of all this will restore the lumbar curvature. At only 5 months PP you have so much recovery still ahead of you, and starting now to work on posture is really important; you need to apply this knowledge to your everyday activities in order not to overdue and increase your recovery time. I wish I had understood all of this back when I was having babies myself. Good luck! Do try to make some diet adjustments because once-a-week pooping is probably not a good thing. Sex is fine but you may have to make some adjustments for comfort, and use lots of lubrication. - Surviving

I find that for me eating about 2T of ground flax with each meal helps to keep me regular. I am seven month PP and starting to feel more relief. I like what I read above about the timeline of it being worse from three to six months, this gives me much hope.

Hi veganmomma - I've recently started diligently adding flaxseed to my meals......stupid me, I just figured out that I'm supposed to be grinding it.... (and yeah, a lot of it does go right through you if you don't) - Surviving

I researched for about two years how to grind those little tackers. They are so hard and slippery! The end result, via many mortars and pestles, hand grinders etc, was an adjustable electric coffee grinder, Breville, with a removable (for washing) stainless steel goblet with slightly tapered sides, and a clear plastic, well-fitted lid (with no awkward corners to accumulate powder). As the goblet is washable it is easy to use it for grinding anything. I still grind my coffee with my trusty old Spong on the wall, wind the handle model, for a nice slow, adjustable grind.

:-)