Anus/perenium has "dropped" after car trip w/ new lumbar cushion.

Submitted by IsThereHope on July 2, 2012 - 10:58am
Body: 

I am trying not to panic, but on Thursday the 28th I went on a longer than usual car trip (the seat of my 2005 Hyundai Elantra is very uncomfortable since my rectocele vaginal prolapse developed last winter, because my butt sinks into it, and the backrest makes it immpossible not to slouch) I had just purchased a foam seat wedge, and lumbar cushion roll, that I thought might make it easier to do something like The Whole Woman Posture even while driving (I have been trying my best to do the Posture recently, and it seems to have been reducing my pain level, giving me more energy, and helping me to defecate naturally, without straining, or having to manually disinpact) unfortunately, the seat wedge made me too tall for my car, so I could not use it. The lumbar cushion seemed too large as well, and was very uncomfortable, it felt like it was forcing me to press my butt against the seat in an awkward way, but since the package said it was normal for it to feel uncomfortable at first, I ignored what my body was trying to tell me. I feel like such as idiot now! When I got home, I realized something was terribly wrong. The tip of my anus was protruding from my body. According to the doctor I saw last winter (who I am no longer in contact with, after deciding against surgery) one of the reasons why I would supposidly probably need a colostomy, rathar than a "simple" resectioning staple gun procedure, is because my anal muscle is abnormally long, and I don't seem capable of relaxing it completely. Anyway, I went to bed, and hoped that everything would be back to "normal" in the morning. In the morning at first I thought that it had inproved, because less of it was visually protruding. Then I realized, much to my horror, that my entire perenium had dropped down. Now it is much lower than my vagina (if I remember correctly, they used to be about even). My vaginal prolapse looks about the same, in terms of what I can see from the outside (maybe a liitle worse?) it is protruding just a tiny bit beyond my hymen. If I stand and look at my backside in a mirror, my perenium is not lower than my buttcheeks, it looks normal. However, when I sit down, it is the lowest point in my body, lower than my "sit bones" with all my weight on it, and feels like I am being impaled on a wooden post. It has been this way for over 3 days now, with no improvement. Lifting even small things and opening doors is worse than it's been. Walking, which is normally comfortable one I "find my stride" is uncomfortable. I threw out that stupid lumbar cushion of course, but driving my car is now very painful, to the point where I have decided not to drive at all for the time being. It hurts to sit on the floor or the flat hard chair seats that I normally find fairly comfortable. I have some pain even when laying down, which is normally totally comfortable. I feel like I am wearing a saggy, heavy "dirty diaper" but that is actually my own body. I had to manually disinpact for the first time in weeks this morning, which I don't feel good about. I don't know what to do. I tried pushing things back "up into place" with my hand and tensing my muscles to hold them there, at first that seemed to help, but then I realized that tensing up like this was hurting me. One of the things I learned in biofeedback, and on this forum, is not to tense up, but rather to relax. Unfortunately, now when I relax, I can feel my perenium sinking lower and lower. I had been feeling cautiously optimistic about my body prior to what happened Thursday. I had been practicing the Whole Woman Posture, and feeling pretty good while hiking (maybe hiking too much?) I had just ordered Christine's excercise DVDs (they have not arrived yet) Now I am very very frightened. I am frightened both because I am afraid that my body is really "wrecked" now, and also because I feel like I can't trust myself to take proper care of my body, since it seems that I have brought all this trouble on myself. Does anyone have experiance with having an anus/perenium "drop" or get pulled out of place like this? Is it allways permanent? What is the best thing I can do to help it? Tensing? Relaxing? Are there excercises, or should I just rest and stay off my feet as much as possible? I would appreciate feedback. Sorry for all the panic and negativity, but I don't know where else to turn. I had hoped that once the DVDs came and I started doing the excercises (which I now, presumably, will not be able to do) I would get so much better that the next time I posted on here it would be a success story or me offering advice and support to other women. Anyway, thank you all for being there for me. Hopefully I am not a goner.

Forum:

takecare

July 2, 2012 - 11:27am

Hi IsThereHope ... firstly - I am so sorry, I can feel your fear. You have every right to feel this way.

The only thing I can comment on with experience is re the perineum. Mine dropped also, and I know the feeling you are sitting on something, the dirty diaper feeling.
I felt just like you - it was after a terrible constipation where I just pushed really hard because I was scared - knew nothing of POP or what damage we can do and ended up with a huge protrusion of my anus/perineum. After I managed to actually evacuate (while fearing for my life) .... and my dignity ... I was left with this dropped perineum/anus/vagina ... and I could feel the fleshy bits well down below where they should be.
That was at the beginning of 2011 ... I spent the whole year trying to find a 'cure' via the medical profession. The biggest shock is how indifferent they are to this hellish discovery. Like it happens every day - but we don't know it can happen and if we did know we would take better care all our lives and avoid anything to cause such damage.

What I can tell you is that it has ebbs and flows. If I am in posture, exercise very regularly - long brisk walks in posture - including climbing hills, moving upper and lower body - reaching, turning etc., in other words using the body in a natural way rather than 'protecting' too much ... it seems that things start to gravitate towards their natural place.

There are some days - like today - where I can feel it, it is low and heavy (the perineum) - but I know why. I have been sitting too much, I have too much work to do, I have a lot of stress and I have not been drinking enough water or eating enough greens. It's my own fault ... I know what helps and I need to put myself first.

After months of being absolutely diligent with this work you will see you have good days - still some bad ones, but a lot more good days where you can manage. It will not go away but it will be minimised and manageable.

I do try things like laying flat and doing leg exercises and stretching ... also on knees and elbows while on the laptop, anything to avoid actually sitting.
When it was really bad I was laying with as many pillows as possible under my bottom to raise the pelvis and try to encourage everything to settle back down (or up).

Try to be instinctive with your body too ... I really think if we stop stressing and trying to control too much it will tell us what we need to do and most times it is right.

But number one - is to be relaxed and calm - the moment I am stressed everything DROPS .... I mean it - as soon as I am upset that's the first thing I notice.

So please take a deep breath, trust that it will get better and put some steps in place to make you feel like you are not losing the fight - you are not a goner sweetie ... you are right here with us and we have felt the fear and shock and trauma of this crappy situation ...

xxx

wholewomanUK

July 2, 2012 - 1:03pm

Hi IsThereHope,
Yes there is! I'm so sorry to hear you've had such an unpsetting experience and your anxiety and upset are totally understandable. Definately a 'bad day' and a 'set back', i.e. one of those days we've all had - and hated! However the good news is that we've all been there - and we're all here - and most of us are witness to the wonders of the WW way to recover from prolapse and lead healthy lives; managing our prolapses and looking after ourselves.
The way forward is, as takecare says, to take a deep breath, thank our lucky stars you don't have a horrible desease and do have an condition which can be worked with and improved. Also thankfully, nobody sees our private parts, so at least we don't have to worry if things don't look the same 'down there'. I have a premanent anal protrusion following childbirth, haemorrhoids and prolapse, which no longer causes me problems and nobody sees, so I figure isn't really a prblem/issue anymore.
However I do really appreciate the fear and anxiety you feel. I lay down a lot for a few weeks, partly because I just didn't know what was best to do before I discovered WW. I'm so pleased you've ordered the WW dvd's. The WW work is based on doing the WW posture and physical exercise. Doing the WW exercises will help your body to recover and help you feel better in yourself. 1 of the ww motos is 'change the posture, change the symptoms'. Work within your limits, listen to your body, but do do the WW work.
Many women find it very helpful to understand the theroy behind pop problems and the WW solutions. The '1st Aid to Prolapse' dvd, also includes a lot of explanation about the WW way. The 'Saving the WW' book is also an invaluable aid and resource for information about female anatomy and issues, pop, surgical options and many aspects of the WW approach - how and why it works. Different women find different things helpful, but personally I find the book a life-long resource and valuable aid to maintaining my health and pop recovery.
The WW posture includes all aspects of the body:
Re tensing or relaxing. Relaxing wins every time. A relaxed abdomen allows space to hold and contain your pop's. Constant tensing is not good for us and actually weakens muscles if permanently tense: Relax your abdomen, as you breath in raise the chest, breath into your chest and relax the abdomen so that your abdomen gently increases as you breath in, when you exhale relax the abdomen and feel the abdomen go down as you exhale, do not collapse the upper body as you exhale.

louiseds talks about standing, sitting, walking and going about your daily business as if you are queen, looking down on your minions! Walk tall, head held high and lifted at the crown of your head.

As you walk, leave the back leg for as long as naturally and comfortably possible before raising it again to continue walking. This will tone our psoas muscles and legs...

Make sure you are as constipation free as possible, as this is definately not helpful for pop. Ensure that you diet is healthy and one that promotes good digestion and elimination. If you do need to strain on the loo, make sure you lean forwards, rest or touch the loo seat with your thighs. That way any straining is less likely to increase prolapse.

Look at the dvd's and book for more info. Also if you are lucky enough to be near enough to visit/tel Christine Kent or a WW teacher, this would be very helpful.

There's so much we can do to improve our condition and help ourselves and each other. I hope this helps.
Wishing you all the very best, big hug, xwholewomanuk

louiseds

July 3, 2012 - 12:57am

Hi IsThereHope

You have taken a big blow, and it has really thrown you. WholewomanUK speaks from the heart and from her own experience, as does Takecare. I hope your WW bundle arrives very soon, to give you some positive reading and activities.

The driving problem is a major worry. Did you trim the underside and the back edge of the wedge to fit the profile of the side edges of your car seat, and that of the seat back? I am also wondering how high the wedge is. Mine is about 5cm tall at the back edge. I am petty near the roof of the car when I am sitting up tall, but it works OK. I can even get my sun visor down low enough to block all sun when driving into the sun on sunset. It is great. ;-)

I did have to adjust my rear view mirror though, because it was stuck to the windscreen, right in my field of vision. Fortunately it can be adjusted at the base very cleverly to allow a lot of adjustment in position of the mirror. It took me a while to figure that out. Even my son who is a Toyota mechanic, didn't know about it.

Re the lumbar roll, you really don't need a very fat one. Mine is only about 3cm thick in the centre, in the form of a flattish cushion about 300mm x 300mm, with slightly raised sides, which is just right for waist level. It hangs from a strap around the head restraint, and holds my upper body forward so that my pony tail doesn't bang into the head restraint. I don't try to push the top of my sacrum forward. I just make sure that the bottom of my thoracic spine, where my ribs start, is not sagging back and making me slouch. You just need to be able to get it to sit in the right spot on the back of the seat for your body.

One Member suggested using a hot water bottle as a lumbar roll, which will conform to your shape and to that of the seat as well. You can fill it with either water or air. You could try a simple sofa cushion from the thrift shop instead of the wedge. I have a little one that I use when a passenger in my husband's car.

I can hear that you are scared and cross because all your efforts seem to have left you worse off. Like all setbacks, this one can probably be overcome with care and patience. Keep doing what you are doing, and be gentle on yourself.

Louise

IsThereHope

July 4, 2012 - 6:22am

Thank you for getting back to me Louise. I am really glad that the program has worked for so many of the women on here. I wish I had had a chance to fully apply it. I don't blame you guys for giving me a false sense of hope. I blame myself for not ordering the DVDs and starting to do the excercises sooner. Most of all I blame myself for that stupid car ride with the ill fitting lumbar cushion. After all the time I had been on here, and all the support I had gotten, I was taking suggestions, I had chanded my diet drastically, was doing the posture, and thought things had "stabilized" and could maybe get better. I am glad that I had hope this spring, it allowed me to enjoy life again for a brief period after the darkness of last winter. I have now reached the threshhold of what I had defined as my "worst case scenario." I have lost the ability to care for myself. My only consolation is that I don't have any children or other dependants. I am going to stop posting on this forum now, because I don't want to bring everyone down with a lot of negativity, but hopefully my posts were not entirely useless, because they can help show others what NOT to do. God bless you all.

louiseds

July 4, 2012 - 7:52am

Hi IsTHereHope

You seem to be in a very dark tunnel. I think it would be in your interests to get some professional help at this time.

This is purely a Forum, and its Members are all volunteers. We are grappling with what has happened to you, and others as well. It is very much about coming with an open mind, reading what has helped others, and assessing if any of it applies to us, trying it out, fine tuning it and building a store of tools for managing prolapse. Then in time, many women have some success and are able to get out of themselves enough to give something back.

There are never any guarantees with this work for several reasons.

We are all different, with different bodies and different levels of prolapse.
We have different support networks,
Different families
Different backgrounds,
a variety of education levels and literacy, and
Different attitudes.
Different measures of success
different abilities to adapt.
We take different risks,
And sometimes we make mistakes.
We also have setbacks, which can seem enormous at the time, but all we can do is chip away with our tools until we get back to where we were, and figure out how we can make some more improvement.

We can offer ideas, support, information, personal experiences, but we cannot offer medical advice, or purport to be able to solve other people's problems. We cannot stop people from making mistakes, or misinterpreting something they have read on the Forums. It is up to each of us to solve our own puzzle with the help of the resources available to us.

Some women will find the Forums extremely helpful, while others do not have the same success, or measure their success differently.

I hope that you can find your way out of the tunnel, whether you decide to stay or move on.

Please get some professional help to deal with this, IsThereHope.

Louise

MsNightingale

July 4, 2012 - 8:46am

Dear IsThereHope, I cannot add much to the honest, candid, and caring words of Louise, TakeCare and WholeWomanUK. I agree that it would be good for you now to have some professional help with dealing with this. Most of us here have felt the fear and panic. You are not alone with that. But because you felt hope in the spring, maybe you can trust that you will feel hope again. It is difficult to renegotiate a new posture (I am so struggling with that) and a new way of thinking. It is most difficult to accept these things that happen with our bodies. You tasted hope this spring and that is good. Your efforts in the posture and diet will help you forever so they are never lost in the "bad days" and set-backs. Try to find someone that you can talk to now to sort out how best you can proceed. My very best wishes go out to you!

Surviving60

July 4, 2012 - 9:19am

IsThereHope - I am hoping you will stick around to read some of the encouraging words left here for you, by these wonderful women who represent various stages from newbie to veteran. We are here to provide support and the feeling of not being alone. We can't solve all problems and each of us must take charge of her own recovery. That recovery is, in large part, mental and emotional. Setbacks occur for all manner of reasons, or no reason at all. One car trip with a particular cushion in place is not likely to undo all the work you have done. More likely it was the catalyst for your questioning and second-guessing yourself. It might be really helpful for you to keep tuned in here, in addition to getting some other outside help for yourself. The world is still conspiring to pretend that prolapse isn't rampant, but here, we all know better and we help each other keep perspective. The best to you - Surviving

alemama

July 4, 2012 - 9:17pm

I doubt it, but like I said a while ago, seems like you have a good deal going on so who can really say?
You've been here 6 months, but have not actually applied the whole woman principles...you might consider starting now, now is as good a time as any -right?
As to what to do, knees and elbows (you do headstands yes? if yes, do those), it's your best bet. Deep breath.

MsNightingale

July 5, 2012 - 7:16am

Dear Alemama, Maybe I havent read far enough in the forum....are the headstands a good thing? I do hope so. I actually have only been doing the yoga positions in Christine's DVDs but would love to know what else is good...especially in terms of the inversions. Seems like it might be good for everything? Do you do any alterations with that....thinking breathing into the tummy upside down? Any thoughts there would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and my best to you!