Lets talk about sex!

I too am interested in the intimacy aspect of prolapse.

Is sex good for prolapse? just thinking about it makes me nervous and wondering how to convey my feelings and worries to my partner. And wondering how HE'LL react too! I hope sex can't worsen prolapse!

Any input you wonderful ladies could offer would really be appreciated. This is a subject that's been lurking in the back of my mind.

sevilla

Look, I really think this is a very important topic to be talked about. I also know that it is a delicate one for most women and its very intimacy makes it difficult to discuss. I would just like to make a few comments which are pertinent to me; someone who has uterine prolapse. I think my comments will only be pertinent to someone with uterine prolapse. I also think that the WW posture etc is commonly applicable to the management of all prolapses, but when it comes to sex and more specifically the entrance of the male sexual organ into the vagina then there will be need for differences of approach depending upon the individual demands of the type of prolapse the female partner has. I don’t know this for certain, but I suspect this to be the case.

The difficulty with uterine prolapse is that the uterus is not in its right position. It has collapsed down the vaginal canal and fills the vulva. Just with the simple physical act of climbing into bed, it is not always possible to maintain the uterus in its correct position. The same can be said for the all fours sexual position and the woman on top position. Just the opening of the legs can cause the uterus to descend.

The uterus is a large organ. When it descends, it has a ball shape roundness; not the commonly visualized flattened tube. The ball is thrust down strongly. To return the ball requires manipulation and it is a two-step method. One needs to push with the palm of one’s hand on to the cervix so that the top of the uterus can be steered back up the canal and over the pelvic bones. That is step one. Then there is needed a second push and then the cervix too can be pushed over the pelvic bones. To suggest that a strong penis can return the uterus to its true position as it thrusts forward is not strictly correct in my experience. At least, if some people are proficient at this, then I am truly awestruck. A possible analogy is a prolapsed tongue (if ever there were such a thing) thrusting out of the slack mouth; pointed and at full force. The partner must try to push that tongue back through the lips and over the teeth with his tongue. Be a bit hard, to do don’t you think even when he can see what he is doing?

Now, the easiest way to do this two-step uterus return once I am in bed, I find, is to lie on my back with my knees bent fully into the air, my feet flat on the mattress. This gives me the perfect position in which to push the uterus up and forward. This is step one, and as said previously, pushes the top of the uterus over the pelvic bone. Then, I drop my knees and stretch my feet straight down so that my legs are parallel and then it is a matter of using a kegels-like sucking of the sphincter muscle and the rest of the uterus returns to its familiar home. Even with my legs straight and parallel there is room for the entrance of the penis.

When my knees are bent fully in position one, there is a corresponding flattening of my back, but I hold this position only briefly. Lying on my back and with my legs stretched down, the lumbar curve returns and this is the position for the actual sexual act. I don’t think the actual weight of the partner flattens the back and pushes the organs back, I think it is just the volatile state of the uterus and the piston forward/back movement of the penis that pulls the uterus back down, but I haven’t read the threads you refer to.

Re Sevilla’s question I don’t know whether sex is good for uterine prolapse, but it’s good for the woman and her partner.

This is a great post, Fab. Right now I wish we could hear Louise' comments on what you have written. There was a sex break-out session at the May conference, which I know she attended. That must have been a very lively discussion! Since I have "nature's pessary", as they say, I can't chime in too much on the topic of sex and the low-hanging uterus. But most certainly, plenty of members can, if they want to! - Surviving

Great posts here. This may be one of those threads that comes to life over time. My prolapse is very mild....not sure what it really is. Missionary position has not been a problem for me. Sevilla...yes, sex is good for prolapse as long as you have a partner that you can talk to and who is willing to find what works for you and what doesn't. I look forward to more comments. Have a lovely day, lovely ladies!

WWUK, were you at the sex workshop in May? Wondering if the discussion got down to this level of the really detailed do's and don't's - surviving

Fab, wouldn't a knees and hands position allow the uterus to tumble into the lower belly, no matter how prolapsed? I am talking more of a prayer-prostration like position, with butt in the air and face, hands, knees, and toes touching the surface. And then when penetration occurs, the woman can lift herself into a more comfortable position without worrying about her uterus falling back again. Does this make sense? I know this works for me but with aless severe uterine prolapse and a cystocele.

Thanks for the clear suggestion Chickaboom, the prayer prostrate type pose you describe is similar to the yoga “cow position” which I do as one of my exercises. I can do it all right if I adjust myself once I am in position and can reposition the uterus correctly and then stretch my butt into the air. I think my failure to achieve this comfortably with the sex act is due in part to the subsequent unstable mattress, lack of sufficient strength in my neck to hold my head raised when necessary, and the confusion of holding the posture while other stuff is going on. Very much a one thing at a time girl, alas.

What brave women there were at the conference to discuss this stuff face to face!

Wow, thanks Fab for such a detailed description. I don't have primary uterine prolapse but what you said totally makes sense.

Even with "nature's pessary" (ie cystocele and rectocele) I find positions that place too much pressure on my perineum uncomfortable. This could be more due to episiotomy damage than prolapse but I have a feeling the rectocele makes this worse. So in this sense, missionary position is quite good because it doesn't put this pressure on the perineum. We do use the "prayer position" but I have to be careful about directing my partner as the top half of his legs are longer than mine and he tends to push "up" on me and that places the uncomfortable pressure on my perineum.

Having said that, I reckon you will get as many answers as there are women. It seems to be a very personal thing. For me it also varies depending on time of month, how the prolapse is feeling, whether I've had a recent BM etc etc etc.

Great question though!

MsNightingale,

So much info to go around here. I'm hoping my own prolapse will be diagnosed as mild too. Who knows? I'll find out (hopefully) this Friday. A female gyn will check me out. But as somebody pointed out on another of the forums here, pelvic organs tend to move around in a fluid environment, and the type of prolapse, or grade, or how many, might easily depend on what position the woman is in while being examined, time of day, activities taken place prior to the examination, last BM, etc. Perhaps I should ask the gyn to examine me standing and bearing down, if she doesn't suggest it herself.

Then there's always the possibility she might suggest a pelvic ultrasound, or refer me to a urogyn. But I have a suspicion that most urogyn's tend toward surgery. Not going down THAT rocky road! As for the ultrasound, well, perhaps, if it's suggested. What are they usually looking for when they do those?

As as for the sex prob. Hoping my partner WILL understand and that I'll be able to discuss it with him. Another hurdle to cross. Men are lucky in a way. Even with all their prostate probs and whatnot, at least their prostates aren't falling down or poking out of their bodies! In a way, it IS still a man's world :(

Dear WholeWoman PA,
I am almost positive that in class Christine said this position is fine. In the book on page114, she indicates that "prolapse is a gravitaional problem largely alleviated by lying down. The uterus is srepositioned during intercourse and is likely to stay there until we stand up."
Hope this helps,
wholewomanPA