Thank you very much, Christine

Hi,
Even though I have joined this forum in March I still have not inroduced myself.
I am a 34 year old woman and I was diagnosed with prolapse two years ago. I had felt the symptoms for many years not knowing what was going on. It all started after my first delivery when I got a routine episiotomy that led to 4th degree tearing. The suture disintegrated the second day after the delivery but I was told that it is OK and that I wouldn't need any repairs on the perineum. I have felt pressure on my perineum, back pain ever since and I had a feeling like I was squishing something in my vagina.When I spoke to the doctor he told me that every woman goes through some degree of a prolaps after giving birth. He said I could live a normal life with it for a while (I was only 22 years old), but I had to ask for surgery when it gets worse. He also mentioned that somebody messed up my labor and it wasn't him! Unfortunately he was my only source of informations since Internet didn't exist at that time. So I lived a normal busy life dealing with my condition like “every woman after a delivery has to”. I have gone to many other doctors but none of them saw anything wrong. Then two years after my first was born I gave birth to my second child. I got another routine episiotomy which worsened my condition a little bit. I felt like this must be some kind of punishment for a woman for having a baby, and I decided not to have anymore babies, although I love babies. Years after this we left our country and came to the USA, temporarily. I started rethinking everything. I knew women here have more options with labor, and that they can have a home birth if they want (which isn't possible in my country), they can have a midwife (which is impossible in my country) they can be supported by their husbands and friends, and close family during the labor (which wasn't possible in my country when my kids where born and isn't very welcome today either), they can chose birth position and refuse episiotomy (which is impossible in my country). I dreamed about a little girl but I was afraid of another episiotomy. So 10 years after my second was born I got pregnant for the third time, here in the USA. I delivered a beautiful little girl just like I dreamed about, without an episiotomy, and with my husband next to me. My prolapse got much worse during the first 4 months of pregnancy but later on during pregnancy it was hardly noticable. During PP it came back. I was devastated but I hoped that my experience with the doctor here would be better than my experience with the doctor from my country, plus I appreciated the access to the Internet. My doctor was very nice and caring, she informed me about the surgeries. She mentioned a hysterectomy but didn't recommend it for me because of my age. She said they have physical therapies at the clinic, but it works only for women with 1. degree of prolapse not for me, she said that my uterine prolapse is much worse and that I also have a cystocele and rectocele. When I asked about details she said she has to sent me to urogynecologist at the clinic who specializes in pelvic disorders and only he can prescribe me a pessary and later perform the surgery, and that the best way is to ask him what exactly I would like to know about the surgery. Before I met with him I researched on the internet, so I would be ready to discuss my concerns and I wrote down all the questions that bothered me. I was shocked when he entered the room and was ironically laughing “something is falling out, ha-ha-ha, and I only guess your doctor is a female, and she for sure thinks you are to young for a hysterectomy, which you are not!”. He was so rude! I wanted to discuss my questions but he didn't answer one! I cried days after the visit. He prescribed me a pessary and gave me a pice of paper with instructions about Keegels exercises. I was told to do at least 100 daily. Soon (after 4-5 months of doing Keegles) I noticed keegels didn't help me and my rectocele got worse. When I met this urogynecologist I was only 3 months of PP and I was breastfeeding. He mentioned that the proplaps might get better in about 3-4 months after I stop breastfeeding.
I went back to my doctor and told her that I wasn't comfortable with the urogynecologist and asked her if she could recommend me another one . She just like the urogynecologist couldn't provide any of the information about the risks and other critical information like all the future risks and after surgery complications. Nobody wanted to give me the information. I had a feeling like there was something that was being hidden and I needed to know what it was. My doctor told me, that my situation isn't good, but I wouldn't die if I will postpone the surgery until I find all the answers. She wrote down the key words that I could research on Internet ( like the exact names of the surgeries). And this was only beginning of my two years of research. I decided to breastfeed for one year a use this time to find as much information as possible. I went through many websites but was never satisfied. I needed statistics numbers, successos of the surgeries, risks and after surgery complications. I stopped breast feeding and my condition did not get any better 3-4 months later it actually got worse! So in october 2005 (7 months after I stopped breast feeding) I was getting ready for surgery so I tried a little experiment. I wrote, in google key words, “sacral colpopexy pictures” and I was horrified when I saw the surgery in pictures! That isn't non-invasive surgery at all! Then in November 2005 I found your website and I ordered your book. I signed up for American Urogynecology Journal to research about pelvic disorder and everything related. I finally comprehended what exactly a prolapse is after I read your book, Christine. It is clear and understandable, it really makes sense and it included everything I wanted to know. Now comparing everything I have read during the last two years with your program, only your program put my “puzzle together”. After all that ,in December, my husband bought me your DVD. I began to exercise, I changed my diet, I stopped drinking coffee, tea, pops, ect. I incorporate postures in my daily routine as much as possible ( I am still working on it). I don't use sofas anymore, I dont use mops anymore (I clean the floor on my fours), I use sleeping positions you recommended in your book ( I found them very comfortable). But the most importantly I started believing my body more, I feel more self-confident now. It has been four month since I began your program and I feel the differences. The changing of my diet was great, I feel much better My digestive system is working better. I don't have any leaking, I feel the UP improved a little. I suffered horrible lower back pain for years, I couldn't sleep or rest on my back for 12 years. Now I can sleep all night on my back! My periods were always very hard times for me because of the horrible cramps. Now I don't have to deal with those cramps though it is still hard time for me because of the UP.
After all this I found a new doctor that specialized in pelvic disorders. I wanted to have an independent opinion on my situation now. So I didn't allow her to see my medical record before examinations. She said my UP is about 1 – 1.5 degree a very little cystocele and no rectocele! But still she recommended me a surgery to fix it and she didn't believe in any alternatives. I had your book with me in her office. She even didn't touch it! She told me I have to have a good reason to postpone the surgery and trying the alternative treatment is not a reason! I wasn't disapointed after this visit, I was very angry! I knew that I was the one that was going to make decidions about my body. Now I know I want to continue with your program. I would be very thankful if I could only stabilize my prolapse. When I finished your book I felt relieved. I understood that I wasn't scared of my condition but of the devastating surgery. Christine, I am very thankful and apreciate all of your hard-work, wonderful work, and all the precious information.There is a positive energy and you give women all the hope that they have lost in their own bodies. Thanks for saving us!