23 weeks

Submitted by Panda86 on January 9, 2013 - 11:13am
Body: 

Hi everyone- its been a while since I have been on here. I am now 23 weeks into my pregnancy, and we have been told that we're having a little girl. So far things have gone smoothly. Around 20 weeks I felt some relief of my prolapse, which my doctor said could happen when the baby is too big to fit low in the pelvic area. But then, only a couple weeks later I started feeling my prolapse again. No idea what changed, and my doctor has no idea either. I am trying to be mindful of the posture, but even now I still have a hard time remembering in my day-to-day living. When I am on the elliptical I find it easier to keep posture because I am already mindful of my body during exercise.

This prolapse still gives me quite a bit of anxiety, and I am just not sure how to work through that. I am afraid of what will happen after the delivery of my baby. I don't want it to get really bad and have them tell me I need surgery when I have gone through a lot and am physically and emotionally drained from the birth. My doctor doesn't seem concerned about the prolapse getting worse though. Then I am afraid that this anxiety will make labor harder, because of the fear of what may happen to my body. I really need to let go of this fear, but I am finding it SO hard to find good information on births with prolapse. I get a couple bits of advice here and there, but I still have SO many questions. I really want to squat during contractions, but squats are basically on the top of the list of "no-no's" for prolapse. But what is a good position to keep the pressure off my prolapse but still aid in a speedier delivery? I live in a small town with very limited options for doctors and therefore range of medical advice on the subject. And even Google is turning up very, very few results. Can someone please help? Tell me there is a way to have the natural birth I want, not laying on my back, a position that uses gravity without putting pressure on the prolapse...?

There are days when this just seems too overwhelming... I don't want this to get worse and therefore steal the joy of having a new baby. A baby that I didn't think was going to come... and I don't want them to tell me that this has to be my last.

I appreciate you all so much- its so helpful knowing I am not alone. I just want it to get better. I just wish someone could tell me it won't get worse, that I will be ok!

Forum:

fab

January 10, 2013 - 5:24pm

The WWposture really does take time to master so that it comes to the point where you just assume it automatically every waking moment (and in your dreams!). You really are not to worry about that, just keep reminding yourself when you find yourself slouching. Long established habits of bad posture take a long while to break. The bad posture is your comfort zone. It takes time for WWposture to become your new comfort zone. We often talk in months rather than hours or days or weeks being required for it to take. So rest assured there is nothing peculiar to you in this.

Now an extra beautiful baby load in your uterus does make for extra concerns, but don’t forget all the organs in your pelvic area are connect by ligaments just so they can stretch and bounce. I think there is enough evidence in for you to know that there are a lot of dangers associated with birth, but that with a little help things work out ok for the most part, and in your case with you doing a lot of thinking and planning and talking to your birth helpers there is even better odds that you can make this happen as smoothly as possible and with your desired outcome.

I think the no nos with the squatting when birthing have to do with the mother tiring if she is not used to squatting.

Look, you possibly have looked at all the options, I certainly am no expert on this. There was only one way when I gave birth and that was on my back which to me seemed very counter intuitive. This site seems to give a good straight forward run down of birthing position options. http://www.babycenter.com.au/a544483/positions-for-labour

Why not talk these over with your gyn and explore the various avenues?

best wishes, Fab

louiseds

January 12, 2013 - 5:01am

Hey Fab, I agree that all expectant women need to talk it over with the gyn, who will normally be there obstetrician as well. However, the ob often doesn't turn up until the baby is about to show its face, or after. It is the midwives who are usually with the woman during most of her labour, and know what hospital policies might interfere with or support a woman's labour wishes. They will be the people who know what equipment, eg showers, baths, things to hang onto, things to suspend from, seats, stools and other aids, and how much physical help they are able or unable to do, policies about doulas in the delivery room, what Dads can do, etc.

I really do like to tour the delivery suite late in pregnancy, just to get a feel for things, and find out the standard ways of doing things, so you can make requests for different things before the day, and know what to expect.

Panda86

January 26, 2013 - 2:46pm

Thank you for your input, it is much appreciated. My OBGYN sees me throughout my pregnancy, and she is usually there for most of my labor in the hospital. Since this will be my 3rd delivery in the hospital, I am pretty educated in their policies and the way they do things. I will have a birth plan this time, which I did not really think about with my first two. And then there we were, trying to make difficult decisions while in horrible pain.

Any recommendations on what to include in the birth plan and any questions I should ask regarding my prolapse and labor?

I have been more and more mindful of the posture, and I do know it helps. I am just afraid that my prolapse will get too bad for the posture to help. But I know there are women on here that have worse ones than me and are still livin' life to the fullest! I hate to be a whiner, and I am trying to take it one day at a time and not worry about it. But sometimes I do feel kind of, well, "ruined". It doesn't bother my husband at all, he can't tell. But it makes me feel so insecure. I wish one of you "veterans" who have been dealing with this for a while could be here and tell me "it will be OK!!" while I am in labor. I don't want to be thinking about this while in labor- I know my worry can hinder things. I am hoping and praying that all the laboring will keep my mind focused elsewhere.

fab

January 26, 2013 - 4:17pm

While you are waiting for a veteran mummy to comment, could you give just a little more information? I take it you still don’t know what type of prolapse you have. It is not something we really need to know, but I suspect it really would mean a lot to you, if you knew precisely what prolapse you are dealing with.

You have been told not to run and that squatting is not a good thing for you to do while pregnant for fear that the downward pressure will not be helpful for your prolapse, or was that advice given you on the basis that it could cause a worry for the safety of yourself and baby because you are carrying her low? I think you need to be clear on these things.

Also, I really don’t see that squatting to deliver would be the same as squatting for exercising while pregnant. What birthing positions have you discussed with your OB? I hope you can reach agreement on this.

At one stage you were doing traditional Kegels which we do not recommend for prolapse. I hope you are not still doing them and that you have switched over completely to Christine’s New Kegels. And if you have, have you checked that the New Kegels is ok for pregnant ladies?

Also, if you have been advised not to run, why would you then be using an elliptical? You still have your full weight on your legs and are alternating weight shift from foot to foot, and thrusting alternating hip forward; sounds very similar to running to me without the freedom of open stride. I’m just asking you to think on these things as you are an experienced runner, I am not.

I have noticed that you have been an enthusiastic supporter of other pregnant ladies. I am sure that you have given them comfort in your friendship.

Worry about pregnancy, baby safety and worsening prolapse and other things you have mentioned is very wearing and I hope you can eventual reach some resolution of these things and start to feel more relaxed and confident and comfortable in your pregnancy.

best wishes, Fab

louiseds

January 30, 2013 - 8:12pm

Hi Panda

Just wondering if your anxiety about the birth and prolapse is extending to other parts of your life?

Prolapse is a pretty big 'slap in the face' for any woman to handle.

Birthing has traditionally been one of the most dangerous things a woman ever does. Likewise being born is pretty dangerous for babies too. If they make it through birth means that they can have a go at living.

You are carrying two big anxiety factors at the same time. I am wondering if general anxiety in itself is the main problem you are dealing with, and that learning some techniques for handling anxiety itself might help you to be calmer about the birth.

Birth plan. Rule 1, what do you want? Rule 2, what do you not want?

If these are not absolutely clear to you, perhaps you could try an online birth planner. I just googled "make a birth plan online". This was one of the first sites to come up, http://www.babycenter.com/calculators-birthplan . There are dozens of them, that will give you checklists as starting points, or end up generating a whole plan.

Once you can get the big picture I think what you want in the smaller pictures will come more easily. Some Obs are really good at delivering babies, and as your was with you for most of the labour, that is probably the case. Others are better at planning the pregnancy and birth according to what works for them. Others are more interested in you being happy with what will happen. If you can come up with the bare bones of a plan I am sure your Ob will be interested in discussing it, so she knows what is important to you, and can work with that.

There is no doubt about it. A plan is better than no plan. Then you can build the 'what if's' into it. It is like planning a journey or holiday. It is not much fun getting to the mountains without your skis. It kind of keeps you indoors when everyone else is out there having fun. Forget the sunscreen, and your skin will be raw for weeks. Packing summer clothes will leave you with hypothermia. A desert camping trip is no fun without a fridge if you like eating fresh fruit and veg. Birthing is the same.

I am sure you will feel much better once you have set aside some time for you, so you can think about your plan and write it, without the competing needs of your little children. Make a date with yourself. Book a table for one at a quiet restaurant, organise a babysitter, and just do it.

Your body can do this, if you and your birth attendants are prepared to listen to it, and not take over the process and take the birth away from the woman whose body is actually doing the birthing.

I can only reiterate that your prolapse is not likely to be any worse after this third baby, but that you will need to not judge that until two years pp. We can nurse you through that two years, just like we do with everyone else.

(((Panda)))

Louise :-)

oceangirl08006

January 30, 2013 - 10:15pm

Have you heard of hypnobirthing? Its basically just an idea of ultimate relaxation during a natural (or any) labor and birth. Maybe look into it, it really helped me :) If this gives you any comfort, your labor and delivery are very short periods of time compared to days and months and years of becoming better and better at good posture and everything else. Also, I've been learning that pregnancy and breastfeeding have many benefits to a mother, like lessening the likelihood of cancer. I would think that a body that is constantly trying to achieve a state of equilibrium, while being helped and encouraged by good posture and diet, would continue to try to be in such a state of health and equilibrium during and after a natural ability the body has, like pregnancy-again, with the help of posture and diet. I will reiterate what's been said above, make a plan. It always feels better to have a plan(s). Just FYI, I was planning on squatting for my recent delivery but I ended up sitting way up out of tiredness. Also, a thought on the eliptical, it is like running but it seems like it wouldn't have the same pounding on your organs that running would have. I'll have to think about this too as I only have one 9 month old and am planning on more, so Good luck!

Panda86

February 6, 2013 - 10:45am

I apologize for taking so long to reply to these wonderful comments!

Fab- no, I haven't been told exactly what kind of prolapse I have. I haven't pressed the issue, because I almost don't want to know. I guess its still a little bit of denial hanging on. I haven't been doing traditional Kegels, except when I cough or sneeze. It seems to give me a bit of control so I don't accidentally wet a little, since the baby seems to be laying right on my bladder most days. I wasn't sure if the New Kegels version was safe, although I don't see why it wouldn't be. Its similar to a pelvic tilt, just seated...

Not squatting during exercise was something I had read on another sight designed with exercises for prolapse. It recommends modified squats. I would think that squatting during labor would be slightly different though... I imagine things get shoved out of the way when the baby is making her way down the birth canal?

The reason I was advised not to run but okay-ed to do the elliptical is because the elliptical has a smooth stride. While you are shifting weight from one side to the other, there is not jerking motion like you have when your feet repeatedly hit the ground... if that makes sense. I have been switching that up with stationary bike though, which feels better all around (I am now 27 weeks and getting bigger by the day!).

I have an appointment next week with my OB, and I will be discussing birthing positions with her. I know it seems late in my pregnancy to be going over that, but I always have so much on my mind and so much to ask her! I am trying to very hard to be more prepared for this birth, and its showing me how completely unprepared I was with my first 2. But all is well that ends well ;)

louiseds- You pretty much nailed it. I am already an anxious person, parented by an anxious mother. And its SUCH a hard cycle to break. I am becoming more relaxed about the birth itself, as I see it as a natural part of life. I know my body knows how to do this. Most of the anxiety about the birth is just coming from what "might" happen after the birth. I am prepared for my prolapse to feel slightly worse, at least for a while, just from the usual stretching and pushing around everything goes through during birth. But I just don't want it to get worse- It makes me feel "broken".

Oceangirl- I have actually just started reading about HypnoBirthing, and its all fascinating! Unfortunately, where I live, there are not classes available. But I thought about getting DVDs and the book and at least doing what I can. I have been practicing some of the breathing exercises while having Braxton Hicks contractions- it really does seem to help!

Thank you all for the great advice and support- I will be going over my birth plan, and making sure that my major points are covered. I am fairly flexible, as I know that you can't plan for everything. But there are a few things that I definitely won't budge on, so I will make sure those are taken care of first and foremost. I hope I addressed everything- if not, my apologies!

Panda86

February 6, 2013 - 2:07pm

I found this interesting article in the blog, which I found very informative- it addresses the dangers of deep squats in the last weeks of pregnancy. http://wholewoman.com/blog/?p=1431

I just thought it was very interesting, and it does seem to have a valid point. I have been doing yoga exercises to stretch my hips while avoiding squats or any positions that seem to put pressure on the pelvic floor area.