Better sex with prolapse

Submitted by louiseds on July 7, 2006 - 7:48am
Body: 

Hi everyone

I thought it was time to put sex back on the agenda, as it seems to be of general interest to most people on the planet, and intimately involves those parts of our body which are also involved in pelvic organ prolapse.

But when there are difficulties with sexual relations it seems to compound the difficulties we have living with our bodies.

There are lots of factors like positions for sex, vaginal and vulval pain and discomfort, lubricants, foreplay, self-image, dancing, creative use of pessaries (the mind boggles!), libido changes etc. Christine, do you have a Wholewoman Posture for making love, or is it just 'sit properly' or 'stand properly'? LOL!

How 'bout we collect our sex sub-topics right here so that people like me don't have to trawl other topics for snippets that have been mentioned in passing. We could also post cross-references to posts we have made in other Forums, eg vaginal health. And isn't it great to have a Search facility! Thanks Christine.

Sorry if you are sensitive to Too Much Information. Perhaps you better steer clear of this topic, or maybe take a deep breath and keep coming back to learn more about putting the pleasure back into your sex life, and dealing with the things that make it difficult for you to enjoy it.

I was born in 1953, married 27 years with kids 23, 21 and 19. I have a prolapsed uterus, bladder and rectocele too, and have been visiting this site for about 9 months. Christine's work, information and advice have changed my whole attitude to prolapse and helped me to cast off the fear of prolapse engendered by the gynaecological industry. Sex has never been better.

I have noticed in other posts that many women who have just been diagnosed are terrified about prolapse being the end of sex. I can reassure you that it doesn't have to be, but some women find it easier to deal with than others.

I have found that as I get nearer to menopause, water-based lubricants just don't work as well with my thinning vagina. Lots of good natural unprocessed oil works much better for me (Extra virgin cold-pressed olive oil in my Salad Dressing please!)

I have also been troubled by foreign organisms in my vulva, urinary tract and vagina but now seem to have them licked with a combination of techniques involving lubricants, clothing, self-care, and of course posture. But I aware that I may have flareups in the future. With menopause galloping towards me all sorts of strange things seem to happen to this body of mine.

My husband doesn't give any hints that he is worried about subtle changes in where all my organs are. He is really just interested in warm body contact, sensual, enjoyable sex, and lots of it. Actually, I'm not particularly worried about the changes in his body either.

Post your worries, ideas for better sex and requests for information under this topic, where in true Wholewoman style we can all benefit from each other's wisdom.

Cheers

Louise

rosewood

July 8, 2006 - 12:13am

YES! Sex with prolapse is MUCH better.

I attribute it to the following:

First, I can no longer ignore my vagina. Due to prolapse, I have cultivated much more awareness of my femaleness and comfort with my body! Maybe it's because I think about it all the time! I think I may have disassociated with my vagina in earlier years.

Second, I feel more feminine and beautiful. I wear different clothes. Prettier, more flowing, less restrictive. Hven't worn a pair of jeans in 4 months. Even my low cut ones feel too restrictive. I wear skirts, gauchos, long skirts. It's the way I hold myself now, too. No more slouching. I stand tall (in posture, of course). I hold my head proudly. I'm more connected to my whole self.

Third, I've been using a vaginal exerciser, and let me tell you, I have MUCH more sensation now. Much more. Wow. I used to feel, after three babies, quite cavernous. Not any more . . .

So, yes, I agree.

mom30

July 8, 2006 - 6:47am

A couple of months ago, I bought a Winsor Pilates video off ebay. I've been doing it about 5 times a week. I noticed right away that my hips, thighs, butt, etc. are soooo much stronger! And, it's pretty easy to do. I think feeling strong and healthy makes me feel better about the prolapse as well. Well, with all of the strong muscles in there, the sex was excellent!!!! I don't think it has been that good since before children. If there are any exercises that feel like they're pushing on things wrong, I just don't do those.

louiseds

July 8, 2006 - 6:52am

Yeah, actually I am a bit the same. A simple body awareness thing. Couldn't pick a better part of the body to be more aware of, eh? I do agree about the increased sensation. I never thought I would be proud of my internal pelvic muscles in the way that some women and men are proud of their six pack!

I spite of the obsession that the western media have with sex and 'beautiful' bodies, it doesn't seem to carry over into the intimacy of a sexual relationship between two ordinary people with 'normal' bodies. The goodness of our sexuality is not celebrated enough by us inwestern society; sex is only sacred in its ability to sell stuff.

Time to claim it back, methinks, so that we can celebrate that wierd nexus between male and female love; making babies; erogenous zones; breastfeeding; adult play; and the most amazingly good physical sensations known to humankind.

Cheers

Louise

AnnTN

July 9, 2006 - 1:47pm

This is my first posting. Can you tell me what kind of vaginal exerciser you use and if it reduces the prolapse state as well as help provide better sex?

rosewood

July 9, 2006 - 11:24pm

Hi there, and welcome! Glad to hear your walking is helping with your pain. Great news.

As for your question, I use the Kegelmaster 2000. There was a discussion about it in a previous thread -- I recommend you look for more info on it there. Some women have had good experiences, and some had negative. I used to have USI (stress incontinence) and no more. Still have prolapse. Some have claimed to cure it, but it has taken many many months. Jury's still out for me on this one. But, it has helped me, as I wrote above.

One thing that really helps me feel better is doing Christine's WW workout (on dvd) every night before bed, and doing the sitting and standing postures in my daily life. At one point, I didn't do the exercises for a few nights and really felt the difference. I really think that her ideas about repositioning the organs by the posture and exercise are right on. I think it takes time. I know she is coming out with a new dvd workout, and I can't wait to get it. Christine, if you're in, anticipated release date?

Glad you found us AnnTn! Keep us posted on how things are going.

Christine

July 10, 2006 - 2:58pm

No release date yet, Marie. We are researching on-line video though and hope to have something cool for you in just a few weeks! :-) Also, we've had the new WW logo, which is beyond beautiful, printed up on summer tank tops. Hope to have those in the store tomorrow or the next day. Unfortunately, the sizes run BIG. They are s m l and x-lg, but the small looks to be about 12-14. They'll be darling on our bigger, beautiful mamas. I've had to take the search engine marketing down this week because we're not breaking even. Be sure to buy a tank top and make it a nightie if it's too big!!! :-)