What does it mean to you to live well with prolapse?

To live with the prolapse it means everything really.

It means we have not given in to the pressure from Gynae's to 'slash n dash' ie for them to fiddle with our organs and to hafta face the aftermath.

I think this way takes more courage as the result is within our hands and not being handed over to someone else - My body - My choice :)

I cannot say 100% I have found peace within my body as yet. I only found out i had prolapse last August and i think this will take time (Maybe on my death bed i will think to myself - HAH I survived it - who knows)

I tried sea sponges and they did not feel comfortable to me. But alot of people ahve said they are great for them.

I think that acceptance of the change inside of ourselves is what is the hardest thing to come to terms with. Maybe that never happens?

Maybe some other women who answer this after me willl tell us how they have come to terms with it and how they live well and do not focus on it all the time?

I have a 3yr old and I usually take her to a seat before lifting her on to my lap - It isn't the same, but it has to suffice. And the reason for that is not her weight as she is not a heavy child at all (Very picky eater)

I just hope that one day I can go through one single day and 'forget' it is there...

Sue

I'm interested to read everyone's responses also.

One thing I have finally come to accept is that the healing process is going to take a lot longer than a thought with ups and downs. I started the posture at the beginning of February and for a while I had big improvements and then things started to drag, literally (like you are experiencing now). So I am trying some diet changes now too. I think each of us has to find the right balance of natural approaches to heal.

I also feel the same as you when lifting my baby. I hold the posture but I still feel more pressure on my organs.

I tried the sea sponges and I didn't like them. They didn't help me. but I know others do.

A lot of the emotions you describe I feel too. The only thing I can say is that it is not going to be a quick fix. It will take time and patience I think. I try as much as possible to think of the positive in all this when I start to feel down. For me, it has made me really enjoy this precious time with baby this year because I wasn't taking advantage of my old self, running around very active. Sometimes all I could do was stay home and lay or sit on the floor playing with her. I really started to see how unimportant housework etc. was.

I haven't posted much in a while. I think that has a lot to do with how I am dealing with the prolapses. I just have to take it one day at a time. Since I have come on board in Jan/Feb as well, I have been thru ups and downs. I would have some good days where I really see market improvement in my prolapses and energy levels. Then, I had a few really bad colds and I would see changes that I didn't like.

So to be honest, I am not at peace with it. I am still nervous, a little resigned and frustrated. It's hard to share this with my spouse and girlfriends who don't have this problem. So I am keeping to myself and the forums.

I am still doing the posture but have not found the cross legged sitting position comfortable. I also feel my cyctocele and rectocele have gotten worse. I can't sit upright on a chair without noticing them. Christine mentioned that most of the women here don't have pain with their prolapses. I don't think I fall in that category yet.

So I too would like a day feeling like i have no prolapses.

Hi
I only discovered my prolapse a couple of weeks ago but have always lived with other problems associated with "down there". I can't really comment on what it means to live with this yet as I'm still adjusting to the idea of it. My son is now 18 months old and he is very heavy. Being a mother who stays home with him I find it hard to not lift him and carry him around. That's just the way it is. I try not to lift him when it's not necessary but you know how they are. You need to lift them into their high chair and lift them into the carseat and lift them into their beds etc. Doing that several times a day sure adds strain. I've started Christine's exercises and only missed one day of doing them so far. I've noticed that if I spend a lot of time on my feet I feel full and heavy and achey down there. I'm trying to keep up the posture but it's hard to stay conscious of it as I've spent 37 years walking and standing differently and have done that without thinking. It's like learning to do anything new. I have of course wondered how this will affect my sex life and other things. My husband is very supportive and extremely understanding and his only concern is with how I feel about it. I don't want to have any more children so there is no concern for me about feeling like my child bearing days are over. I'm very happy with the two that I have. I'm just glad that my prolapse isn't so bad that it can be seen by others and restricts me from working and enjoying other things. I try to walk every day and keep fairly active. I guess with time we all learn to live with it. I would prefer it the way it is than to have surgery which could possibly leave me further restricted in the long term.
I know that it's hard but keep your chin up. There is life after prolapse. All the women on this forum are living with it and I feel like I've found a great place to vent, talk and keep informed.

Hi Rosewood, great topic. I too have multiple days, weeks even of feeling really good and almost thinking like my prolapse is gone. Then I do a quick check and see yep, it's still there. This board has helped me with acceptance because of all you here - it makes me realize I am NOT alone and this does in fact happen to a lot of women, more women than will ever admit. I find myself checking out other women's postures and thinking to myself whether they have prolapse or will, etc. I am not being catty, rather it makes me realize, yet again, how strong the female body is. We are miraculous creatures!

I am trying to keep track of the days and times I feel heavy, or my backache returns. So far I notice it around ovulation and menustration, and when my bowels are full. My rectocele seems to give me the most discomfort actually. When my diet is clean, I can eliminate easily and feel good. The days I eat junk or not enough good stuff, I feel it in my back and the dragging feeling - and I believe it's because I can't empty my bowels completely or easily.

I still get upset when those times happen but fortunately they are happening less and less.

I have also returned to work part time and those days I feel things more too. I don't tend to keep the posture as well at work but I am going to change that. Regardless, it's another indication to slow down...

Carrying my baby has gotten much better, she's one now and while not walking she is cruising a little and of course crawling all over the place. I help to her a standing position and then pick her up from there. Christine's visualization of the football player hiking the ball has helped me tremendously with how the posture works while picking her up. I even had my husband do this "hike the ball" to show me. I think he liked finally being able to do something to help me ;-).

I think we always continue to go up and down, but hopefully those times will become further and further in between.

Take care,
Kathy

I know this is an older topic but it rang so many bells with me as I was re-reading it that I had to post. I seem to have a few weeks where I think I'm seeing improvement, then it all goes boggy again and i'm distraught. I can't imagine getting to a place of acceptance yet.. it panics me that there is no way out for the rest of my life as I am only 29.

Some days I'll have barely no bulge at one point, then half an hour later it'll be fully there, with me having done nothing in particular. It can go up and down all day with seemingly no cause, it's so unpredictable. I wake up each day not knowing if I'm going to feel yuck all day or a little better. I'm always analysing.. is it because I ate red meat? Is it because I'm tired? Did I lift something heavy? Am I doing the wrong exercises? Did I walk too far or not far enough? It gets ridiculous!!

I'm now nearly at the 'magic six month postpartum mark' all the medical people talk about and I don't feel I'm going to see the improvement I hoped for and I'm not handling it at all. At least here there are some ways we can talk about it rather than getting blank looks from friends and relatives! Sorry to go on... just hoping for some errr hope!

I have felt that "panic" many times, as I am also 29 years old and can't imagine dealing with this forever.

I am at the point of feeling much more consistency in my prolapse though. I am 1 year pp and can see changes in my prolapse with my cyle. Have you noticed changes? I know that I will feel worse during ovulation so I can at least be prepared and not worry so much when things start to drag more during that time.

I do notice small changes everyday though and wonder like you if it was because of eating meat, overdoing it etc.??? I do know that I can overdo it more at certain points in my cycle without feeling worse so I have come to see some consistency.

I am 1 year pp and I didn't see feel any magical improvement at that time. I actually felt worse once I got my monthly cycle back.

I am very happy to talk to you and others about this because I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone else. I have tried to talk to my mom and sister but they just don't understand.

I am at the point where I have thought about having another baby so things have improved!!

Hugs :)

of getting my period... I feel horrid enough as it is without having a monthly cycle making things worse! At least though like you say I'll have more of on understanding of what my body is doing. At the moment I do see changes but have no cycle so don't really understand them. I'm always happy to chat.. like you say, no one else gets it!

Hi Rosewood and others

I just lifted this from the Snow College website, wherever that is. These seven stages are written about in countless books and other places.

"Grief is a normal, natural part of life. It is important that grief be regarded as a healing process. There are seven recognized grief stages. An individual will experience each stage during their grief; however, it may not be in order and some stages may be visited more than once. The stages of grief are
(1) Shock or Disbelief that the loss has occured.
(2) Denial is the stage in which the person refuses to accept the loss has occured.
(3) In the Bargaining stage, the person attempts to reconcile the loss by making deals with other people, sometimes also with Diety.
(4) Guilt is marked by statements of "if only I had done/been . . . ".
(5) Anger is a natural stage everyone must pass. Anger may be directed toward the loss, the person lost, or even Diety.
(6) Depression is a stage that comes and goes throughout the grief process. Resignation at the end of the depression indicates that the truth of the loss has been accepted and the person is ready to move on.
(7) Acceptance and Hope means that you understand your life will never be the same but it will go on with meaning and hope."

Does any of this ring any bells re prolapse? Women with prolapse have experienced loss, and it hits some harder than others. There is loss of bodily integrity; perception of loss of a sexual nature; loss of how you body used to be and probably lots of others.

Living well with prolapse, to me, is getting through those seven stages and reaching a point where you have worked out any limitations you may have from now on as a result of prolapse; learned some skills and knowledge to prevent further damage; debunked any untruths you have discovered amongst the advice you have been given; and consolidated new ways of doing things.

I have more ceramic and metal in my mouth than I had a few years ago, but I can still chew. I can't do gymnastics any more, but I can still dance. I have prolapses but it doesn't bother me that I need to sit and stand differently to how I used to. I look and feel better as a result. I need to be more careful of my diet, but that's probably something I should have done anyway. I have changed my clothing style a bit, but I feel more comfortable in my clothes as a result.

I can appreciate though, that having active toddlers and babies who can't get up by themselves, can be a bit more of a challenge. And having special dietary needs for a medical condition can make it difficult to have the right diet for prolapse control.

Maybe for now you could find ways to get down to your baby's level as often as possible. Experiment with different ways of carrying baby. Put the toddler's mattress on the floor instead of a bed so you don't have to lift him in (and he can't fall so far). I think there are often ways of solving practical problems and finding the path of 'least worst' until that stage has passed, and babies do grow up.

The main part, however, is in in truly accepting that there is a new you, who may need to do some things differently from before. Once you have truly accepted it, solving the challenges of 'how' is much easier.

I figure that if a person can lead a happy life as a quadriplegic, I can live well with prolapse.

Hope this is some help. What does everyone else think?

Cheers

Louise

louise, I think the stages you posted are a fairly accurate description of what most of us are working through. I am almost comforted when I get angry or depressed about my prolapse because those are towards the end of the stages....almost at acceptance! I know it doesn't just happen, it takes alot of work, but I'm getting there.

and to mommy76...while I am so happy for the women who posted here about doing so much better 6 mo pp, its a dangerous thing to read that and hope you will have the same outcome. I made that mistake when eveyone told me my baby would be sooo much easier at 6 weeks, 3 months, whatever. I spent too much time agonizing over why my baby didn't reach that milestone like everyone else's babies seemed to. Obviously, I thought it was something I had done/didn't do because IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN and it didn't. truth is she was a difficult baby and is now a difficult older child and I have to work with what we have.
But continue to be hopeful that you will find ways to manage your prolapse, I believe you will. 6 mo pp is still soon. your body has yet to find a new hormonal equilibrium. give it another bit of time and you will begin to see patterns. I don't know if your prolapse will change, but you will. and it will be ok.
((((hang in there))))

I also see myself passing through these stages of grieving but just as I think I am accepting my new self, I feel suddenly worse again.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for the improvements I have seen, but it is still hard for me to accept. It can be something small that triggers it, like getting a catalogue for runnning shoes and active clothes, which in my former life I have loved to browse through. I then find myself grieving all over again for my old self.

While I accept that in many ways I will never be the way I was pre- baby, and wouldn't want to be, I so miss all that I did before in such a care free way. I never expected that having my babies would change my very core of being. I was so very active before, a sentiment many of us have expressed here. I truly and deeply miss not being to lace up my running shoes and go out for a few stress relieving miles without worrying about things sagging and falling. I don't care what anyone says, walking IS NOT THE SAME FOR ME, and I can't imagine that it ever will be.

I try to stay positive through all of this, but I still get my moments, hours, and days when I feel like curling up in a ball and weeping for all that I feel I have lost. Perhaps this is all part of my pathway towards REALLY accepting my new reality, and not being in denial about my new state of being. Perhaps this is my way of FINALLY coming to terms with it and not just kidding myself that it is OK to feel so damaged.

Anyway, I don't mean to sound negative, that's just where I am right now.

Michelle.

hi ladies,i have had my prolapse for over 4yrs now.when it was first diagnosed all i wanted to know was 'would it stop me getting pg or carrying my baby to term.my little boy was 6mth old,but was told by dr ,it was nothing to worry about as it was only a small prolapse.so i went way with no instuction of what to or what not to do.

then i got pregnant and as my pregnancy progreced my prolapse disapeard.silly me thought for good.how wrong was i.
it was my 4th pgcy and i was silly to think all would be well with baby .well it wasnt and my little boy had spinabifida and we had to make the decision to let my little boy(harry)go or carry on with the pgcy.at 18wks pregnant my little boy got his angel wings.induced labour ,as was my 3rd.and this is where my prolapse showed it ugly head again.
but i was not conserned with my prolapse ,i was to busy greiving for my little boy.so i have lived with my prolapse ,ignoring it,hoping it would go away for over 1yr and 7mths.
it is only since finding this board that i have taken my life back.from my prolapse and my greif .i to have forund thay my prolapse changes with my cycle soim ready for it and prepair for it.i have changed the way i walk and the way i work.i get my boss to do all the lifting sand carrying for me.and my husband doesnt get of scott free.he does all the shoping and putting it away.my older boys do all my vacuming .
so in all i have found that i am living with my prolapse better than i have ever done.

hope to chat.
serena
everything happens for a reason.

Just recently my doctor told me I have a stage 4 prolapse. You ladies are not too encouraging. I keep thinking I can fix this thing! Doesn't regular exercise and kegals and exercise devices work? Can anyone tell me what really makes it worse? Really, vacuuming isn't a good thing? I know lifting is bad. What about golf? What about horseback riding? I'm totally ignorant and scared. I do not want to sign up for the big "H" but living like a princess is not my idea of quality living. I know having the surgery would mean limited activity but at least there wouldn't be this huge organ haning out of my body!

Ann,i dont know if vacuming is good or bad .im like you im just starting to find out what i can and cant do.i do know that i have taken my life back from my prolapse and my greif.this has also included not running round like looney trying to do EVERYTHING for my sons(18,17yrs old).im not up to speed with the medical side of things as in stage 123.but from what little i do understand its the jarring effect of jogging,horseriding that would not be good for us.i would love to start running but im not to sure if that is good.im sure one of the many ladies on the boards can and will help out with info on this subject.
i sat back ,read the post on the board ,then started to gatheer bits of info from there.

thinking of you.

we ,as women are the stronger sex and we can get through this together.

serena
everything happens for a reason.

thanks for the advice, I think it makes a lot of sense. It's so hard not to measure in milestones as you cling on to them for hope. I feel like I just go round and round all those stages of loss but never feel anywhere near accepting things, partly because I'm terrified this isn't the worst and the prolapse will just get worse an worse over my life and I'm so young.

Sorry to whinge... I'm hoping I'll feel some more peace about it soon.

Serena,

Study the posture pictures and descriptions in the FAQ section (on home page) carefully. You can do about anything you want if you do it in the right shape. Pushing a vacuum along in the traditional way causes you to bend your body forward into a wide triangle, which places alot of pressure on your "backside." However, if you stand up straight (belly soft, shoulders down, chin tucked, feet pointing straight ahead) and hold the vacuum hose to your side, you will have a much easier time.

:-) Christine

I feel that way too sometimes. I'm feeling well and then not. feeling positive and then not. It really is two steps forward one step back. when I look back to where I was a year ago I can see clearly that I have come a long way in terms of acceptance and living well with prolapse. My prolapse has not gotten better or gone away, but my life is not much different than it was preprolapse. I get scared too, when I think about it getting worse and me being young and all. But I try to get a hold of myself and put it all in perspective. who ever said I was guaranteed a perfect life? My 32 year old sister was just diagnosed with a progressive hearing loss. I tell her I think that's worse than a prolapse and she's quiet and says softly 'I don't think so'. So I guess we get only that which we can handle. the unknown is terrifying, so we are scared of a 'worse prolapse'. I try not to think about it too much (denial anyone?)but now that we are on the topic, anyone know exactly how low can a bladder go?

I haven’t asked this question in awhile, granolamom, but I think you could benefit from the drill. If you are once again holding your prolapsed organs over your pubic bone, how can they ever be pushed further out?

Granolamom, I am so very sorry to hear about your sister!

You are so right with your comment about a "perfect life". I sometimes think the same thing. What gives me the right to think that I will get through my entire life without at LEAST one body misfunction occuring, and why WOULDN'T it be something like prolapse? It has got me thinking, (perhaps too much sometimes), about all the stuff that happens to other people, and why that would happen to them. It really does open up a whole new avenue of thought for me about mortality which I know Jane has touched on before. Don't know if this is good for my emotional health or not so good, but it has surely got me thinking about many things I never thought about before.

I was crying when I read the posts on this forum. I can so relate to how you all feel. I am in the same boat (cystocele/rectocele). I am also very upset about it. I don't smoke, don't drink, am underweight and fit and I feel like my body has totally let me down. What I noticed is that nobody in the forum seems to second- guess their decision to (1) have a child and (2) elect a c-section? I am really angry with myself about not having elected a c-section. I can't believe that I was so stupid thinking that I had to go through labour because it is 'natural'. I am so down at the moment that I even question why I ever wanted to have a baby. I find it hard to care for my truly gorgeous little one (12 months old) without feeling terribly guilty for thinking that I would have been better off without him. What is going on nowadays? How did our mothers deal with these issues? Did it not exist or did they have a different way of dealing with these issues? Unfortunately, I cannot ask my mother as she passed away many years ago.
I can also relate to the comment that was made that it is a 'life-long condition'. My husband is rather unsympathetic, unfortunately. He seems to think because I have no 'symptoms' (the bulding sensation does not count) there is nothing to worry about. I am also very scared that things may get progressively worse and that my quality of life is over for good. And that after having worked like a maniac for so many years. I really did not need this.
Anyone who has experience with surgical intervention and after-effects?

Welcome Susan and yes, we know where you are at. I feel your tears!

Read Christine's blog post "A prominent urogynecologist weighs in on c- section" This may answer some of your questions in relation to why more of us don't regret our birthing choices despite prolapse. There are definitely documented cases of women who have had c-sections also having prolapse, and even women who have never had children.

I will never regret the way I had my children, despite the first being a long and ultimately medically managed event. Both were beautiful experiences for me, truly the two best days of my life! I also would not choose to have a c- section in the future should I have any more children, but like all of this, it is so very personal.

I encourage you strongly to read the posts here by "Fullofgrace" as she has delivered both ways. It is a heartening and wonderful tale!

This is hard so be gentle with yourself, and get as much support as you need here!

Michelle.

I love you Christine! you are so busy with your new center and you find the time to check up on us. youre the best!!!

I believe my posture is good, when I walk on the treadmill I can really feel my uterus rising up and my obliques are working and my sacrum feels wide and the front of my pelvis tightens. I think that's all good. and yet, my uterus is definitely lower than when I started out here and I now have a second bulge right behind the cystocele which I am imagining is a urethrocele. why? I don't know. maybe because the fascia is so overstretched that gravity continues to pull things down and back? I don't know how to get all those organs back up and over the pubic bone. I know how to get the pubic bone where it should be in relation to the rest of my spine and legs, but how to get fallen organs up?
I think it is time to get the dvd and religously exercise. Its hard enough to find 20 min to walk every morning, but it has to happen I think.

and this is what scares me....I am hoping that the prolapse does eventually stabilize. but I can see it get worse around ovulation...why? if the posture is stabilizing and yet it gets worse during that time, couldn't it get worse whenever? does that make any sense? I'm rambling. sorry. its been a long day.

Hi Susan

I don't second guess my decisions to have children and not to elect c/s. firstly, having children was a given for me, something that I truly felt was part of my destiny, my contribution to the world. I cannot imagine life without my children, though it would be alot easier (lots of sleep, lots of private time with dh, no puke to clean up at midnight, no toilet training, etc). there have also been a few women here with prolapse who have not yet had children, so go figure. you never know what tomorrow brings, you have to make decisions based on what you know today.

You sound really down, Susan. I wish I could cheer you up somehow.
as for your dh, well, mine doesn't quite get it either. on the bad days he might suggest we go on a long family walk and I'll say I'm too prolapsy, he looks at me funny and says uh, ok. maybe later? he's not too worried either. he was initially when all I could find on the topic was surgical options but now that I've shared with him all of christines work he feels like I'm in good hands and this will all be ok. which I believe too (most of the time).

stick around, there's tons of support here

Hey everyone - this is an old post but it is something I am struggling with right now- the whole "couldn't it get worse whenever" feeling-

I was begining to think I was an abberation...I am newly diagnosed as of 12-18-06. I am 42 and the mother of five children--my last little Lily Marie Therese born 11-3-06.
I have felt major depression over this. I am still crying every day. Sometimes just a little and sometimes that is how I go to sleep--sobbing. This diagnosis is effecting me in all ways. Some days I would like to escape my body entirely forever. Sometimes being married is complete burden to me and I wish my husband was gone. It is hard enough to try and come to grips but having to explain it to him is very hard. Early in our marriage I began to resent him because he never helped me at all with chores around the house...I couldn't believe how selfish he was and began to resent him like crazy and then one day after finally complaining to him about it he said "just ask if you need any help"--I thought ask?? I shouldn't have to ask! Can't you see?? He couldn't, so now I ask and it works. I ask, he does--every time and I guess this will work the same way but because it is so intensely at the heart of who I am it seems much harder emotionally for me.
I am going to a PT--I know that won't help the prolapse very much but I feel I need just going there to do something...right now and the twice a week excersises are helping me with the other parts of my body--and I feel safe to do them there...I won't do the standing with your feet apart ones yet!
I went to the specialist yesterday and he of course is pushing surgery as the option he thinks I should choose--I have a cystocele & rectocele and he is pleased with the mesh surgery he does and said so are the "ladies"...he also intimated during our discussion that my husband might appreciate it more after the surgery. UGH.
Actually that isn't true for me. We have only made love once since the diagnosis and I have to say it was better for me and he preformed better. He said I actually feel much smaller to him. I brought up what the specialist said and my husband said that he didn't want me to have the surgery after reading about the horrible things so many women have gone through and that it was my body and to do what I needed to do for myself.
I don't know if anyone else has had the experiences I have--I was physically and verbally abused most of my childhood. In my teen-age years there was sexual abuse and then of course I graduated to the physically and sexually abusive first marriage. Until I divorced and met my husband I had never known a relationship that I didn't need to duck in...This is bringing out a lot of that past pain for me. I have survived those other things by separating myself from my body. Now it seems to heal I have be very intensely aware of it and that is very hard for me. Very hard. Sometimes just tightening those muscles makes me cry. I don't want to even attempt it. I have viewed my sexuality--womanhood as a machine all these years. Something that is to be used, worked, pushed to the limit. What I am reading hear is completely different--and it is true--it rings with truth. It is even very connected with true Catholic teaching on sexuality and motherhood. Christine is very in sink in what the Late John Paul II taught about the "genius of woman". So for me the physical is of course a problem, but it is more about how it is effecting me emotionally and spiritually. I don't care if I ever ride a bike again! But I want to feel like I am not once again deformed and that I am still a woman in all senses of the word.

Thank you for the old post and how it shows I am not a freak for feeling so changed inside about this condition.

I understand the fear as I am fear based in my emotions...I know that this condition is a tool God is using for my healing internally but I feel right now incapable of understanding it, I do not want the lesson, I don't even want the healing yet. Isn't that terrible? I guess it will just take time and a lot more tears.

I don't know what I would do without being able to come here and read what all of you write. I might have had to drop myself off at the mental hospital for a good long stay--totally against my life long philosophy--I have always thought they should have to catch you first!!

Thanks so much for the post.

Hi Therese

You have had a hard time, haven't you. No wonder you are feeling very down.

I guess the question you need to ask is how much worse are you feeling now compared to when you were pregnant and before that. It sounds very much to me as you are in fact suffering from depression and would be wise to seek some professional treatment for that, not necessarily a nice long stay in hospital, but just to get somebody professional to keep an eye on you so your husband is not the only one who knows how you are. I know that my husband felt unable to do anything when I had depression, even though he knew I was not right. (This of course meant that, had I gone downhill, he would may have been unable to respond appropriately and this may have had tragic consequences for all of us. I am OK now.) My husband is also a man who needs to be asked to help, and feels very affirmed when I do ask him. Even now I prefer to manage difficulties myself, so it makes it hard for him. If there is somebody else in his world who knows you are feeling bad it will shift some of the 'responsibility' off his shoulders, so that is a way you can care for him better.

On the prolapse front, try not to worry about it too much at this very early stage. Many women find that their body takes longer than 12 months post partum to recover from childbirth and get all functions and dimensions back to 'normalish'. No doubt about it, pregnancy and childbirth do change the female body, though not necessarily for the worse in the long term. Maybe we are not really supposed to have babies closer than about two years apart? Nothing seems to speed this process of recovery in the early months; it's not like going to the gym and six weeks later you are a different woman. Your body will need some time and your patience. All you can do is ensure that your posture is good so that your pelvic organs are carried forward of the pubic bone and you look after your diet to ensure that you do not become constipated and do more damage by straining on the toilet. Life is complicated and busy enough as it is with a new baby and post natal exercises and the whole darned universe to deal with. While your prolapses are making you feel bad about yourself, they can wait just a bit for your attention. No need to make any decisions prolapse-wise right now.

It sounds like your husband is a wonderful man and loves you dearly. I wouldn't mind guessing that he is worrying a lot about you and your recovery from this. I think you would be better to put sexual intercourse on the back burner for a while and concentrate on other ways of expressing your love for each other which do not challenge your emotions about the current state of your body. Just enjoy your baby and your family, and be kind to yourself.

Cheers

Louise

Dear Rosewood,

When I first discovered the bulge coming out of my body, I totally freaked out and was frantic, just like everyone else on this forum. My first fear was "What is that thing???". My second fear, the one that overwhelmed me, was thinking the only recourse was surgery, an emotionally devastating idea to me. And I mean that literally, the idea of another surgery was so horrific, I could only stand and shake without coherent thought. I had had multiple surgeries for cancer, reconstruction and deconstruction and been left with lifelong chronic myofacia pain from those surgeries and massive scar tissue, along with a dislocated shoulder and rotated pelvis because of the position my body was placed in during the surgeries. I truly suffered greatly from the damage done to my body. I immediately made an appointment and found out I had a cystocele and uterine prolapse, and of course, was told I needed surgery. I could not bear to contemplate that and feared what they were not telling me. When I calmed down, I decided there had to be an alternative to that and began my research, which brought me to Whole Woman.

I read and read for hours on end, until I was so tired, I nearly fell off the chair! As I progressed through all the posts, I had a sense of calm come over me, because I believed what I read, and I knew Christine was right, and I knew I had found where I belonged. Here was a woman who patiently explained over and over how the pelvic structure operated (no, I didn't understand it all), and she proved to me I could manage my life with prolapse by using the posture. Yes, I did other research and actually went for pelvic floor therapy three times, which I don't think did a thing for me.

So, I practice the posture as best I can with limitations because of my connective tissue damage, I eat right, take a probiotic, do some exercise, and I am at peace with the prolapse. I do have some bad days, but they are few. A year ago, I drove for 12 hours straight, then was miserable for nearly six weeks. Since that time, I've discovered the pickup is much better for traveling than the car because of the position of the seat. I don't pick up heavy things, nor my precious grandchildren (they learned to come crawl in my lap). It does bother me to push the grocery cart so usually shop with my sister or husband. Once I stopped, bent my knees, bent over and pretended to be reading labels on the bottom shelf. My husband watched for a few minutes, came over and said "I know you're not looking for a contact since you don't wear them, and I know those cans are not that interesting, so what are you doing?" I very calmly replied "I am repositioning my organs!" He first looked puzzled, then smiled, said "ok, let me know when you're ready to move on."
I also know that the prolapse is not life threatening so I can live with that.

I hope this encourages all of you to continue with the posture and the exercises and to search all avenues for a healthier, happier life. Be mindful and be at peace, because you can.

To your health,
Grandma Joy