Discouraged.

Basil, the very first thing you need to do is to start the posture. What are you waiting for? If you don't feel up to exercising yet, that's fine, but start posture now. This work is all about posture. I can go for days without a good walk, and I'm terrible about "working out", but I live and breathe in this posture. I've also learned some great quickie moves from the DVD that I use throughout my day. You need this knowledge now....you will feel more empowered, less helpless and hopeless.

Blood dripping into the toilet? That needs to be checked. - Surviving

Hi Basil,
first of all I want to say, that your baby is just 5 weeks old. You still have 2 more years before you can say your recovery is done. Don't panic. I know this feelings so good. But don't give up your body. It needs your support (posture).
Last week I have also had a few very very good days, but since 3 days I have a setback, so I know exactly how you feel. Try to trust your body, try to respect it. Some women do never have the possibility to give birth to a baby. You did that. And you did it great, so don't lose hope. You have a strong body. Believe in it.
All the best for you
Butterfly

I hear you Basil! I totally hear you. I was so discouraged and scared about the future and angry about having to deal with prolapse just when I was ready to start my life as a mother. It sucks and I had to grieve a lot. Still do sometimes. But it will get much better, I noticed a lot of improvement around 7 months.

I also felt like I had a lingering UTI but never saw a doctor about it. When I saw a prolapse specialist she said that sometimes if urine stays in the urethra it can be irritating and cause discomfort. I know that was what was happening for me so perhaps you may have a similar issue. Try to lean forward while peeing or even pee on all fours in the shower - you may have seen others talking about these strategies. This will help to empty the bladder and urethra more completely.

The piece of advice that I try to give myself is just to stay away from catastrophizing and negative thoughts. It's so hard! But really it just makes it harder on myself when I imagine all these terrible future scenarios. Try to be gentle with yourself and take it day by day, knowing that your body has amazing healing potential and that all will be well. I will try to do this too!

Hi Basil, great advice from the others. I would also add that if you do have a UTI it will probably make your POP feel a lot worse. I haven't had a UTI while I've had POP but I had thrush a few times (not recently thankfully after following the advice on here), and I can honestly say that while I had it, I thought I had suffered a major worsening of my POP (primary cystocele), but as soon as the irritation and inflamation cleared I felt as good as new (well nearly anyway :)). So I would suggest getting that seen to asap, and not even contemplating the severity of your POP until that has cleared.

HI Basil

Yes, you are right of the thick of it. Postpartum POP is often unpredictable. It often doesn't appear for several weeks postpartum and often stubbornly resists improvement and may worsen, as you have found, no matter what you do. This means that your body's response is very common. By the time you reach 6 months postpartum you will be entering the real reversion stage, when your symptoms will almost certainly begin to continuously improve until about 2 years postpartum. After your connective tissue expanding for nine months it will take a considerable time before its reversion is sufficient to support prolapsed organs.

When I birthed my babies back in the 1980's I really didn't know much about postpartum reversion, and I certainly didn't look too many times. I was confident, for some reason, of my body's ability to recover its composure. I knew that my vulval area and my pelvic cavity were all stretched and I simply assumed that it would all go back over time. There was no Internet, and female celebrities were not paraded in all their skinny postpartum glory all over women's magazines. There was an expectation that reversion would take time. Still, in 2013, patience will be your ally. Ignorance can be bliss. Sure, a bleeding haemorrhoid is alarming and bloody, but I have never heard of anyone dying from a bleeding haemorrhoid unless they were haemophiliac. I don't know that a doctor would even do anything about it at this stage.

One of the things about birthing in the medical system is that they are continually looking for things that they think might go wrong. They are always measuring and comparing, and doing tests, which usually come up with a normal result. It is as if they are testing and measuring everything they can, and we either pass or fail the test. Any person who is continually tested will eventually feel abnormal, and will start to doubt the ability of their body to simply function normally, which most women's bodies will do, if left to their own devices. We don't need to continually assess our bodies like the medical system does. We don't have to be suspicious of every new change.

The one thing I can remember is seeing my urethral opening, either in late pregnancy or early postpartum. The entrance was very stretched sideways, kind of smiling, so the circumference of my urethra must have been very large for some time. This of course would make it easier for bacteria to enter.

I suggest that you keep coming back to these Forums and learn what you can from the Pregnancy and Postpartum Forum. I would even seek out the services of a midwife who will be able to reassure you and give you a reality check on anything that you really should report to your obstetrician. You might have to have your postpartum checkup completed with the OB, before a midwife will see you formally, because you are technically still under the OB's care until then. However, there is nothing stopping you from seeking her guidance informally, just for reassurance.

Goodness me, having your first baby is such a shock to the system in so many ways! It is as if 'normal' had never existed. Your body has changed, and you are not the woman you were prior to birth. You are far more, and your life is much richer for it, even if you are depressed about your current situation. It is also worthwhile keeping an eye on what your emotions are telling you, and ask those close to you if they think you are OK. I am sure that letting your loved ones know that you are feeling vulnerable, and are seeking their support, that they will help you to get treatment for depression. It is much better to jump in and get assessed while you are still functioning than to wait until you have a meltdown, or find that you are not caring for your newborn well, and are compromising the baby's wellbeing. It takes a village to raise a child, and much of that caring is the village caring for the mother.

Best wishes

Louise

ps, if you are worried about the haemmorhoid, by all means give the OB a call. You are, after all, still under his/her care. A simple phone call can reduce your stress level considerably.

pps, Do open First Aid for Prolapse! Leave the workout for now, but watch the first half, which is the information part.

Great words from louise! I second her advice to ask for support from those around you. In the early days of my prolapse discovery (and still now sometimes, on my bad days) a major source of stress for me was having to pick up baby, as I felt this was pushing my prolapse further down. Now I feel more confident about using the posture properly to minimize this effort. But back then it was essential to me that I had support around me to help me with the physical aspects of baby care. I read a piece online by a father who took paternity leave and his wife went back to work when their baby was four months, and he wrote about how the physical exertion of caring for a baby just floored him! And that is a healthy adult male whose body has not just undergone massive physical stress! I did not know to ask for enough support postpartum (I'm the "tough it out" type), and ended up having a pretty big meltdown around 6 months. It's hard to ask - and even when you ask, sometimes the support isn't there in this society of isolation that we live in - but if you can, please surround yourself with as much help as you can get :).

Just want to say, how right Louise and Bonne Maman are. Humans always were surrounded by a lot of others in earlier times. A new mum had so much support, because it wasn't only her baby but everyone's baby. Everyone helped. All for one and one for all. Now that we live in our flats and apartments we are anonymous to each other. That's not normal to us. So don't fear to ask your family and friends to help you through this hard time. Some won't help, but some will be lucky, that they can help you!
Butterfly

It makes me so mad when I think about how new mothers are treated in the so-called First World. If I were Queen of the Earth, I would make sure all new mothers had at least two years paid maternity leave, a full-time cook and housekeeper, AND, I would let her choose three friends/relatives to have paid leave from work just to keep her company! I truly think all of society would benefit :)

:-) You would be a great queen!