Need a shoulder and some advice

Submitted by beandippy on September 10, 2006 - 3:03pm
Body: 

Hello. I'm 34, and have last week developed a rectocele after having a BM. Now, my vagina protrudes about an inch. (sorry for so much info) My gyno shrugged it off as "no big deal," but to me it is! From what I've read, this condition will never go back to the way it was, and I can expect my other pelvic organs to eventually shift out of place as well. This is terrifying to me, as I have up until now had an extremely active lifestyle and have always been proud of my strength and health. Now, to avoid further damage, I can't lift anything heavy (like my son!), do my normal ab crunches, step aerobics and kickboxing, oh, the list goes on and on. I'm afraid to eat what my family and friends do, so it's almost all fruit, vegetables and whole grains - people ask me why, and I sure don't want to tell them, especially while they're eating. My husband and I are afraid to have sex, and he thinks my body will just heal and go back to normal, even though I've tried to explain to him that it won't. I can't even go to the bathroom normally anymore. I just feel so doomed and hopeless, like I've lost so much, and I can't believe that a week ago I was normal. It kills me to think that if only I hadn't pushed so hard, I would still be the same - it never occurred to me that I could hurt myself - I thought everyone did from time to time. I'm sorry to sound so whiny and to ramble on so - I know lots of people have worse problems. I guess it just would be easier to accept if this happend 15 years or so from now - I'm not ready to change my life so drastically at this age and feel I'm being cheated to a lower quality of life. I know that pregnancy is still an option, but now I'm scared to have any more children. I know that surgery isn't the answer, and have read that pessaries aren't very helpful for rectoceles.
I did want to say, though, that I'm so glad I found this site, and have been reading it a lot. Thanks to everyone for sharing their information and support - I've already learned a lot. I have Christine's book on the way, and look forward to getting it. I also have God on my side, and try not to forget, but sometimes it's hard to remember to have faith. Does anyone have any advice for my specific situation? Hoping against hope, has anyone my age ever had a recotcele that got dramatically better?
Sorry to be so long, but thanks again to everyone, and I wish everyone health and happiness.
Glor (Beandippy)

jmqphd93

September 10, 2006 - 5:07pm

Probably every one on this forum can relate to your feelings of despair - most of us have been there and some of us still are (-: BUT, there is hope! You are on the right track - reading, educating yourself about this, eating well, etc. You mention your son - are you recently post-partum or has it been a while? No one can offer any guarantees, but you certainly have nothing to lose by trying to manage your prolapse on your own. I believe that you have an excellent chance of stabilizing this and possibly reversing it. With hard work you will probably be able to resume all of your normal activities and enjoy life. I would be careful about ab crunches and heavy lifting, but I do not know of any specific reason to avoid sex...
My problem is cystocele, so I cannot offer any personal comment about rectocele, but you'll probably hear from someone else on the forum. Stay plugged in here, let us know how you're doing, and know that you have empathy and many good wishes for health and peace of mind.

J.

beandippy

September 10, 2006 - 5:43pm

Thank you so much, J, for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. My little guy will be 3 in Nov., so the problem is not postpartum. You mentioned possibly reversing it. I wonder if that can happen - I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but would love to hear from anyone who has reversed a recocele, or any prolapse. The sex part scares me, because I feel like I'm fragile now - I was used to things being vigorous, and I'm afraid I might further stretch or damage myself. So I think I'll wait a while yet. But thanks again, it was really good to hear from someone. Glor

ann.helen

September 10, 2006 - 9:05pm

hi glor

It was this time last year i felt allmost exactly like you. Terrified. A word so many of us used. I read it all the time. And it is so accurate. I distinctly remember being absolutely incapacitatedly fear filled.... like any sudden movement could cause the rest of my internal jigsaw to crash downward's.

And yes i thought i'd never have sex again or if so some theraputic medical model of carefull-carefull sex which is not what my partner and i are keen on.

Let me just say a year on and my prolapse has not shifted and nothing's disimproved. Essentially nothing has shifted but my mindset, and my huge increased level of knowledge of health and acutal overall health what with better diet, posture etc..

So now, as i've said in previous posting's, i have a little bit of rearranged furniture where i can't notice it, and a detailed knowledge of my health and how this machine is meant to work just in time (mid thirties).

Unfortunately that makes me from time to time one of the happy clappy silver lining people i wanted to shoot this time last year!

Yeah occasionnally i'm a little sad i don't have a playboy nether region's, and i've had to make some minor adaptation's but overall my standard of living has not been adversely affected and i am in the very fortunate position of not having suffered some of the very real pain and discomfort some women have got.

Hopefully with help from christine's excercises and posture and the thing's i do for myself like acupuncture the situation will stay that way.

Take time to grieve and work through you're feeling's, share with the people around you and get the help and support you need and just try and remember this time of terror and fear has occured and passed for many of us.

Best wishes

Anne-helen

beandippy

September 10, 2006 - 10:03pm

Thank you so much for the kind and supportive words. They are very much appreciated. I guess I'm just frightened that I won't be able to keep it from getting worse - especially long term. Thanks for being a good example. Glor

MeMyselfAndI

September 11, 2006 - 1:46am

Firstly I wanna say You CAN do step aerobics! But I do it (when I am able as I have MS) if you step lightly - As if you are doing step at mid night and everyone is sleeping - No stampjust a soft rolling of the foot onto the step, it is better for your knees - and you can do it without any problems! ((This could take some practice to keep in the light stepping mode - I used to do step at mid night and formulated a very quiet way to step lol))

Firstly i would say impliment the posture here. Then if nothing helps I would try a pessary ring. :)

I am sure other people can clarify other things - I just wanted to tell you that all is not lost in your life! My mother has a bad rectocele and found help thru the pessary. I have a cystcele rectocele and uterine prolapse and when I arrived here just over a year ago I was a wreck. But I can say that things are no longer 'peeking' out. Walking used to be horrible now it is not trying to escape down there anymore :)

So all is not lost my friend - You came to the right place :):)

Sue

beandippy

September 11, 2006 - 2:37pm

Thanks very much, Sue! I found your reply very comforting in that your condition has improved - that gives me a lot of hope! I know if I try step again I won't be able to jump around the way I used to, but I'm still afraid of the up and down motion - maybe I'll try again after seeing if anything has changed in a few months. Thanks again, Glor

granolamom

September 11, 2006 - 10:00pm

and sorry you had cause to search for it. I can relate to your feelings of fear, anger and loss. I think most of us can. I found my cystocele a bit over a year ago (I was 33) and soon thereafter developed a rectocele and my uterus fell some too. I will tell you that my rectocele was the first to respond to the changes I made. try the posture, stick with the diet, constipation is your worst enemy. In a few months time you will most likely have a better sense of what your body can and cannot do in terms of exercise. right now you are scared, scared of making things worse, scared of falling apart. you won't fall apart, you are stronger than you realize right now. take it slow, there really is no rush. as far as sex goes, as far as I know there's no reason not to.

oh another thing...a while back Christine posted an exercise for rectocele specifically. I don't remember it exactly so I don't want to try to repeat it and get it all wrong. I'll do a search and see if I can find it when I have a bit more time

don't despair, there is hope

beandippy

September 11, 2006 - 10:23pm

Thanks, Granolamom, for the reassuring words. Yes, I'd be happy to try the exercise for rectocele. I'm doing all I can. The posture - if I'm doing it right - isn't too difficult, but it's a lot different from what I'm used to. Sitting is the most difficult part so far. And as far as diet, I'm feeling pretty deprived, but scared of eating anything but fiber. Hats off to those of you who have learned to enjoy a vegetarian, sugar free, ect. diet! I'll do my best... but thanks again for the kind welcome. Glor

MeMyselfAndI

September 12, 2006 - 1:14am

You will be able to jump - But in a different fashion.

I noticed alot of people stamp onto and off of the step instead of using their knees 'softly' as a spring to land on instead of a harsh step or jump you hafta have a little more give in your legs - at the knee. If you think of your knee as a spring and when you land the spring compresses a little - then you go back up - soft soft knees - think bouncy - lol

But in all exercise you know you shuld never lock out your knees and always do things in a way that does not damage joints - I fouind that in this way is also protects my knees (I have hyperflexibility syndrome also (double jointed) lol) And it stopped all knee pain too.

I know you will get back to your exercise :) You just hafta come at it from a different angle :)Just remember that bouncy is the word no stamp and no sharp coming to a stop - it is all a fluid moton with belly lifted and strong over the pubic bone - within theposture :)

All will be well