Need help postpartum


Hi everyone!
I am 22 just had 2nd baby 6 weeks ago and found out I have a rectocele and cystocele and 4 weeks postpartum. I'm pretty sure I have a urethrofele as we'll. I can't see I'm my vagina because of it. It blocks my vagina entrance. Nothing hurts but I have become extremely depressed and OCD. Constantly checking vagina and googling. I'm on suicide watch. I have read lots of forums on here and found out about nauli a week and a half ago. Did not know you shouldn't do it unless you are further postpartum. I just do a quick forward, butt out, hands on sides. Breathe out. Bring tummy up and it sucks everything up when I feel it drooping. Did I make things worse by nauli? I'm pretty sure the smart ball a midwife gave me the other day cause my urethracele when taking it out. Anyways it feels worse lately. I feel like I keep doing everything wrong and hate myself. I am very conscience of posture I don't lift anything but baby. Terrified to so anything. Even picking up toys I feel like I'm going to make things worse. I do only 3 sets of levels a day. I'm on progesterone cream for my depression and I take a lot if herbs. Just getting off antibiotics for bladder infection. Finally got my poop good. Didn't need to really splint today. Scared I made things worse with splinting too. Can someone put me out of my misery? This is all I think about I want my life back. Help me