My family needs me but I need my body back.

Submitted by RaspberryB on March 13, 2015 - 10:29pm
Body: 

I came across this page one night while I couldn't sleep; because just a few hours earlier I was finally given a diagnosis. A little back story. Currently in my mid twenties and with two beautiful kids. I am 6 months PP and finally after 5 years the doctors decided to give my bulge a name. I already knew what I had because I just kept researching over and over until I self diagnosed. At my 6 week PP appointment I walked in full of confidence and with determination to get them to explain what was coming out of me. I was told that no it was not my bladder and that it was just going to get more icky with age. I was heartbroken by her lack of bedside manner. I went home and wept to my pillow for days until I decided to make another appointment with a different doctor. The day came and I was checked once again but was quickly sent away with a referral to see a physical therapist. Lovely lady she was and the first person that showed comparison towards my situation. (the PT) She had me do all sorts of weird exercises for a month with 3 visits a week. I walked away with my hips in the neutral position but that was it. Bulge was still there. By this time I finally opened up to my husband and told him I have been peeing on my hand for months now and that I had no idea how to fix me. I went into detailed of how I have been feeling and how this situation has taken over my life. I don't want to insert my fingers and create pressure just to pee every single time. Seriously who has time for that. Days went by and back to the doctor I went. I was going to get sized for a pessary. Well they didn't even have the complete kit with them; so they tried on me what they had a sent me with a script to get one. The town i live in has no clue what I am talking about when i call the pharmacies. In one place they said that not once since that place been open had they ever seen one. Ouch thanks for the moral support. I finally found one pharmacy , but they carry a different brand and who wants to pay $80 for something that might not even fit or work in accordance to their anatomy. Once I look closely I noticed the doctor wrote the wrong item, one whom they never even tried on me. I could not believe it I just wanted to crawl in bed and cry for days. Well I contacted the company that makes the pessaries, and well they don't sell them to just anyone. You have to be a physician... Back to the doctor I go only for them to inform me that they used to order them but not anymore. So here I am still peeing on my hand and dreading life. I can't even take my kids out because I am always hurting. There is no sex life at all and my heart just hurts. My husband is in the medical field so for him is get surgery and live happily ever after. but for me it's not that easy. Some days I feel like I can do this and other days I feel like I must go the easy way out. Sorry for the novel it's my first time posting and honestly I just needed to vent. Thank you.

Forum:

Sierra

March 14, 2015 - 12:46am

RasberryB, I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are in the right place. These ladies can help guide you. My boyfriend is an attorney and has had 3 surgeries in the 4 years that I've been with him: achilles, meniscus and ACL. All fixed him good as new. So, of course when I finally got the nerve to tell him, he began to push me to just get the surgery and "fix it". It was the worst part for me to feel that pressure and not be able to articulate how I was scared but knew that surgery was not going to work and was going to lead to more surgeries, and who knows what other side-effects. These ladies turned me on to "letter to husband" which I emailed to him. It helped tremendously.
Once I got him on board to let me figure out how to heal my own body, I was able to calm down and let these ladies guide me. I don't want to say to much because I am a newbie too, but just know that there is a wealth of knowledge, experience and compassion here. I'm so glad that you spoke up and told your story and really sorry that you are going through this - Sierra

Aging gracefully

March 14, 2015 - 6:51am

Hi Raspberryb,
Yes, there is much hope for you to overcome this, and naturally with whole woman posture. We have had many post partum moms come here with very similar stories such as yours, and even we older ladies know what it's like in the beginning to not get that stream of urine going.
You may not believe this now , but you are in the perfect time frame to start Whole Woman posture and work. It can take up to two years for your body to heal from having a baby, and if you are working on whole woman at the same time, you have even greater opportunity at seeing your symptoms being reversed, especially since you are so young yet. The younger you are, the better the results. And, even if you don't completely reverse your symptoms, you will be able to manage them very successfully, as many of us have.
Have you had a chance to read around on the site, itself? Christine Kent has studied prolapse for years and has given us the benefit of her hard work with whole woman. You will learn to stand and move throughout the day in the posture you were always meant to be in. She has written a book called Saving the Whole Woman that explains completely what we are going through with prolapse. She also has dvds that have great exercises that work your body strengthening it into the posture as well as practical information for day to day living with prolapse. She even has a post partum bundle if that's something you want to look into.
The point really is this work not only helps us get our bodies back, but our lives as well.
I would start by seriously reading around on this site and watching some of the videos, listen to what Christine herself has to say, and then come back here and ask us any questions you have.
This is a journey well worth spending time on.