Coping

I can tell that you are struggling. My heart goes out to you really it does. I have had some low low days too! Its very normal at this stage. You need a good amount of time to vent and cry. I know Surviving might not agree here (she's our resident 'reality checker' and has given me a much needed virtual shake too on a bad day!) but wallow in it for a while and then you will come to the conclusion that you can get to work and get through the emotional stuff. It will come and go and you will have highs and lows.
have a read through these testimonials
https://www.wholewoman.com/forum/node/3795
for inspiration. They really, really helped me.
I've had an emotional time of it myself this last month. I think my body is trying to return to a fertile state and my hormones are going bananas which is affecting my prolapses. This morning was not good. But then I walked with my baby for two hours and felt terrific. Not a peep of a symptom all day. And I felt happy and normal and terrific and ran around after my kids and everything was good. Tomorrow I might wake up feeling great or lousy. Tomorrow I might get hit by a bus.
I'm trying to live in the moment as much as possible and not dwell on regrets about the past or worries about the future.
Half the problem, perhaps more than half the problem is that we live in a society where no-one tells pregnant women that this can happen to them after birth. Had you known this was a possibility, you might not be so afraid right now. This is not your fault.

XXXX

Hi kp

Your vagina just gave birth, it's definitely not going to feel the same right away. lucky for you, you are still early postpartum and you have hormones and time on your side. Your organs are all going back to their pre pregnancy places. You can help them along by learning the correct posture and understanding how the correct female anatomy should be. Take a deep belly breath (it'll help pin your bladder and uterus against your lower belly where they should be), lift your chest (that'll flatten your vagina leaving it airless), and smile - you've got this. Better to go through this now when you've still got a chance to reverse your prolapse than to have to deal with it 30 years from now after a lifetime of incorrect posture and lifestyle choices.

kp1,
It is hard and it takes time I think to come back to a normal but different life. It has taken me two years but I have mostly good days now. I'm always focused on WW posture but not so much on prolapse. It has changed my life a lot of course but generally I can accept that, I didn't want a big flash life and I have quite simple expectations which helps me to meet them and be happy. It was a process for me to get there.

I found it hard going out and doing stuff for quite a while but now I am ok. Although I pace myself. I had bad constipation and now am managing that well with a strict diet I am still in the honeymoon phrase of feeling so happy that I can poo. My expectation have really lowered re what makes me happy but I don't think that is a bad thing - unusual in the western world - but not bad.

I don't know how I would be without WW and this forum and all the women on here. Did you see the post about the purple poppy. Sending you that badge and wishing you find the hope you need on here to pull yourself through this hard time.

A&L

Oh my goodness, girl. This post is really surprising to me.

If prolapse actually made you lower your expectation of what makes you happy in life (!?!?) then the Whole Woman work should have lifted it back up even higher than it was before. I find your words to be rather discouraging, especially given as they are to help encourage a newbie, and I'm wondering, if you really feel that way, why? Something hasn't clicked yet.

I wanted to stay off this post and let the other PP moms give their golden nuggets of wisdom. But I had to tell you, A&L, how I feel. Sad and disappointed because I thought you had this nailed better.

Kp, nothing but good has come to me from prolapse and discovering this work. I'm one of the ones Chicka was talking about, whose disastrous PP vaginas return to normal for awhile, but since we didn't know about correct posture and habits, our prolapse returned with a vengeance a couple decades down the road. So to me, you are one of the lucky ones who can probably avoid that fate by learning this stuff now. - Surviving

I understood a&l's comment as meaning that after prolapse her perspective has shifted and it's the little things are what make her happy now (like being able to poo). Like that saying about the less your expect the happier you are...

Yeah Chickaboom
You got it. I always write in a way that comes across wrong to some. I'm working on that but I am very happy to answer questions about what I mean - I don't mind.

It's great not having high expectations as then I get happy from little things. So good :o) To confirm, I do expect to be able to have a quality of life I can enjoy but that does not mean doing everything like I used to before prolapse but I find joy in what I can do and generally let the rest go or see how perhaps it didn't really make me happy anyway. For example I don't wish to have the desirable western figure anymore and that has ended years of feeling like I need to lose 10 pounds. So I expect less of my figure and let it be but in doing this I take better care of it - I can allow myself to love me for me now.

I don't mean don't have expectations that WW can't help you. I mean I am realistic and then I get less frustrated and am kinder to myself and find I don't need things to be perfect to be happy.

I think many of us are probably like this after doing WW for a while. How could we word that? Many of you write so beautifully.

As I type this my 4 year old is demanding I make things just the way he wants them. His expectations seen off the scale to me and he spends i lot of energy trying to make the world fit them. My 2 year old is much cruiser and having Mum there for a cuddle and something to play with suits her. She always says "I happy".

Don't debate the nature/nature stuff. I just mean that my son seems less happy as his expectations are so high.

:o)

I just wanted to say I 'get' the way you write and really appreciate your honesty and perspective. When I came here first of all you gave me such a candid account of what happened in your case and it helped me to be realistic about recovery instead of burying my head in the sand. I didn't think your post was negative at all.

Thanks for the lovely words. I like the different perspectives on here so will take them all on board.

I, like you, love that we get candid accounts on here. We all so need that with POP aye as we are not going to get it anywhere else.

I'm a pretty normal Mum but have had some rather unusual experiences prior to getting POP that I think make me a bit out there at times. Normally I keep that to myself and am fine doing that, but will mention something if I feel it might help the person writing. I've had some important women in my life (not immediate family - they were very stoic, listen to authority people) that were very real and open but also strong and nurturing characters. I lot like Christine really and many of the women on this forum. In-fact without these wonderful women in my life and my inner passion for learning and evolving (don't read this as too out there) and learning I would have been a nervous wreck (I was growing up).

:o)

You mentioned that you are concerned about having sex in the future. I just wanted to chime in that my prolapse actually IMPROVED after having sex. Somehow my husband was able to push it back (unbeknownst to him) and my bladder prolapse went from moderate to mild.
Your experience could be different, of course, but I just wanted to throw that thought out there. Don't be afraid to have sex once you are recovered and ready to do so. There is potential that it could help!

There has been much discussion about sex improving prolapse on the forum. I am one of those who has greatly improved symptoms of my profound uterine prolapse from having sex. Just another added bonus, but for some it can be a bit uncomfortable, so change in position and a little creativity can go a long way.