Feeling hopeful - Rectocele after pregnancy

Submitted by CDN on August 11, 2016 - 12:54pm
Body: 

Hi All,

I cried a lot yesterday. Today, I feel hopeful, encouraged even.

I had just returned from the PT and realized that the 6 weeks of work I'd been doing post-pregnancy to work on the rectocele weren't helping much, if anything, I felt like it was getting worse. I had to splint for the first time when going to the bathroom, and for some reason, I found this fact utterly devastating. Maybe it was just a very physical demonstration that things were out of whack - and my little heart feared that they always would be.

So, I went into research mode - I guess it's how I cope... After shunning the surgery sites and a few others, I landed here. And read and read and read. It resonated. It felt hopeful. It felt intuitive. It made logical sense to me - it's postural. I've been reclining in bed every night for the past 3 months breastfeeding my fabulous little boy... and the downward pressure - I had been feeling it, but didn't think too much of it... I assume that's been causing the rectocele to be even more pronounced.

I've always had pelvic issues - maybe it was all the sucking in I did as a teenager and young woman, but now, at 34, It's time to retrain my body, to bring it back in alignment.

When I first realized I had a rectocele and slight cystocele, I felt ruined and broken and feared that I'd inevitably be peeing and pooping myself in the near future. Just a little bit of anxiety, I'd say. Not to mention, I have been avoiding sex to an extent.... (not hard with a brand new baby, but not at all helpful for the relationship, either). I have so much general fear, I think.

Now, after only watching two videos and learning a different way of conceptualizing the pelvis and our bodies as women, I feel empowered. I have yet to even learn the posture or exercises, but that's what today is for... and every day after that. I haven't learned the posture yet, that's for this afternoon.

I'm hopeful as I embark on this journey I'll also eat better and feel happier and more in tune with my body. I've noticed that, although I had a wonderful home birth, it was long and arduous - as birthing is want to be, and I think it triggered some past trauma from sexual assault. So, I've been feeling very detached from my body and unsure of how to reengage with it. I'm hopeful this way of tuning into my body will help with that.

I guess I'm really just saying hello and looking for general support and encouragement... I'm genuinely how surprised at how deeply this has affected me.

Happy to be here,
CdnMama

Forum:

Surviving60

August 11, 2016 - 4:25pm

Hi CDN and welcome - You have certainly come to the right place, and I'm so thrilled for how much you have already absorbed. I remember like it was yesterday, how completely this information resonated with me, instantly, so much so that my stress level upon discovery of my prolapse went way down before it ever got out of control. I know I am lucky in that respect. Everything you have written tells me you will be a smashing success on this journey. It can be a roller coaster, but you have time and youth on your side....the posture is indeed empowering and this work will touch every corner of your life. - Surviving

Miss Diagnosed

August 11, 2016 - 4:31pm

Hi there I've not posted for ages on here but just read your post and wanted to say welcome and that you'll be just fine.
Prolapse with a new baby is tough! i too discovered a rectocele post partum and a cystocele too. I had a few scary months and freaked out regularly but the support on this forum was incredible. I learned so much and at nearly two years pp am definitely still dealing with some niggles but am so so much better than I was. Search on Lopo toileting tips, nauli and firebreathing for amazing tools to help you to heal. And sex for me is great again! It helps in so many ways!

CDN

August 11, 2016 - 6:22pm

Miss Diagnosed,

Thank you so much for your encouragement. I so appreciate it. Yesterday I cried every time my husband looked at me and said "you're going to be fine". Poor guy.

I watched the first three videos of the POP series - the last was the posture video, so I've been trying to keep my chest up and belly relaxed. I will check out the toileting tips, nauli, and firebreathing.

Glad to hear sex is great again. :) My husband was quite relieved to hear Christine say that orgasms are great for uterine contractions and putting the uterus back to where it's supposed to be.

I'm relieved to hear that things are going well for you 2 years pp... and that the forum has been helpful for you, too. Today seems much brighter than yesterday!

***

Surviving60,

Thank you, too! Your words are so encouraging!! It's amazing how just having the information alleviates my stress tenfold, which is so crucial in any healing process.

I'm happy to have found this community! :)

Aussie Soul Sister

August 12, 2016 - 5:25pm

Hi CDN,
I wish I had had access to Whole Woman work when having my children.
I developed rectocele during my 2nd pregnancy, and went on to have a third.
Somehow I just knew I didn't want surgery and stuck to that decision firmly...
I found Christine's approach 17yrs later after suddenly feeling like I was losing the battle for quality of life, with worsening overall prolapse and hip dysfunction.
Four years later I am living proof that Christine's approach works.

All the best,
Aussie Soul Sister