new- trying to find answers and real solutions

Submitted by halfwayto90 on October 13, 2017 - 2:45pm
Body: 

Hello,
I am brand new to this forum. Never been on a forum before either... ok- many firsts.
The first I am not so keen on is the uterine and bladder prolapse. It is pretty severe. Meaning my cervix is something I never thought I would see, and now encounter multiple times a day. And I need to wear liners all the time now-even to bed, or I will have to change from leaks....
I have tried a pessary ( fell out.. nearly in an outhouse if you can imagine the comedy in that!)
and have been recommended by my doctor to try ANYTHING and everything to avoid surgery. ( This is obgyn #4... took a long time to find someone who would say that as I was told to get a hysterectomy about 2 years ago)
The advice to simply cut out the problem has never made sense to me. I get this picture of a crowded bus, and think, if one person gets off, doesn't the next one? And while I can say goodbye to my uterus without missing it too much ( in theory!) I really don't want to be messing with my bladder if it decides to fall out next.

Seeing as I am sharing all this here, may as well be totally honest. I am really struggling with feeling a kind of apathy towards all the 'work' that seems to need to be done. That is also fueled by frustration that I really just DON"T KNOW what is a good idea..... For instance, I have severe, almost intolerable back pain much of the time. That sounds crazy right? "You should do something about that!!" but WHAT? Because I fear going to a chiropractor or osteopath, who doesn't fully understand the dynamics of the fact that my uterus is halfway out, is not wise..... ?? So many questions! I have so much skepticism but not enough trust .. and ultimately that leads to a lot of apathy.
I sometimes feel like I just can't get the motivation to stick with something... plus everything costs a small fortune .. I tried " pelvic floor physio ' for $100 per visit to tell me to do kegels, ( waste of money) then I tried pilates ( great but $60 for a private class is not sustainable) then I tried hypopressive breathing- but same thing- you need to do many private classes before you "understand the movements...." and it gets very expensive.....I was told to buy some small weights ( the lady system?) to put inside and hold in order to strengthen the muscles.. another idea was an infrared light gadget which might regenerate the muscles and vaginal walls, which you use like a vibrator (!- Time to lay aside judgement as I try to be really open to what will work...)
... and there is this apathy- the doing nothing while I look at all these things like a deer in the headlights......

I am pretty devastated about this mess, as I am sure most of us are... and I realize even in saying that that it could be much worse!! But still, especially the back pain makes me grumpy and edgy, and I find that just below the surface of my happy smile I am feeling very vulnerable and old- terrified that if my body is like this at 45 ... well usually things go down as you get older.... and I just don't know how we got here. A once fit and incredibly athletic young lady, is now 45 staring down the road towards ninety wondering what it will be like in 10 years if it is this bad now.

I joke that hopefully when I am 90 I will say "Impressed by my fitness and spark!? You should have seen the mess I was at 45! " But I don't always feel so hopeful and I can see I am hiding my head in the sand, not dealing with it, which is not helping....

AH......... So, why am I writing all this? Weird way to introduce yourself! "Hi! I am halfway to 90 - Nice chipper girl, but bit of an emotional basket case if you ask her about the prolapse situation..." :-) But I am hoping that perhaps if I lay on the line some of my anxiety here, maybe you ladies who are down the road a bit might be able to give me some hope..... and that that your successes might help me separate the wheat from the chaff and get off my duff to do something about this....

By the way, in response to the apathy - my doctor said, "Well you aren't desperate enough, obviously..." Maybe there is truth in that.... I don't know. I just feel worn out from trying to figure out what is intelligent action.
I am trying to find out how to get my own attention and to get myself by my own boot straps.... and afraid of the direction this heads if I don't.......

So, on these happy notes- Nice to meet you all! :-) ( My goodness.....what a crazy situation we find ourselves in really.. there MUST be some humour somewhere........)

Very appreciative if you have suggestions and thoughts on this ramble,

Halfwayto90.

Forum:

Aging gracefully

October 13, 2017 - 8:42pm

Hi halfwayto90 and welcome,
Its sounds like you have put much time and thought into this, and tried everything you possibly could along the way. We have actually had many other ladies that have tried many or all of the same things with little to no success.

I also came to this site with a profoundly prolapsed uterus after a long search for nonsurgical options on the internet. I started reading Christine's approach, and the more I read, the more it all rang so true to me, so I took a leap of faith and dove right into the whole woman work. I have been doing this work for over 4 years now and will never look back. I can do anything I want with confidence, and I know what I can do if I have bad days. It's a wonderful feeling.

Start at the tool bar above to get some of the basic information about this very important work, and then head on over to the whole woman store where you will find all the wonderful products to get you started on your journey.

p.s. I went to the chiro when I had back pain even with a severely prolapsed uterus with no adverse affects. I did notice though, after years of maintaining posture, I didn't need to go anymore. Whole woman helps our spine and hips as well as our prolapse. The chiro was helpful in setting my body back, but the posture is what maintains our shape and stability in the long run.

Udara

October 14, 2017 - 12:52pm

Hi Halfwayto90,
For a useful, clear, 2-page guide to where to start:
Go to the toobar, and click "Prolapse Info"
On the left side of that page, click "Whole Woman Products and Services"
On the right side of the "Whole Woman Products and Services" page, click on "Need some help figuring out what Whole Woman products will be best for you?"
Click on the yellow button that says "Click for product info" and follow the instructions. That will let you download this free, nifty 2-page guide. It really helped me when I was new.
(Like you, I was seeing my cervix protude, had tried various expensive things, and was very unsure about the WW work. Didn't want another disappointment. I haven't been disappointed!)

halfwayto90

October 16, 2017 - 8:47am

Hello Aging Gracefully and Udara,
Thank you very much for your replies. I appreciate very much that you took the time to write, as it can be a lonely conversation despite how many woman purportedly suffer from the same troubles.
Clearly there is much taboo still around such topics which is a crying shame as I myself never spoke about my symptoms nor had I ever heard of it before it was full blown... Despite having gone to 3 different ongyns and even complaining about it to my female GP after childbirth when my bladder made an appearance..... (She was such a flake I had to switch doctors...but then I got a man and never really brought up the subject fully as the accuteness has temporarily passed.....)
We could all probably vent fire....it is totally frustrating but I want to find a way of channeling that frustration into some positive action.....no sense crying over it. But I am becoming much more vocal with my friends because every time I say something, one of them will invariably say "Oh, my mother-in-law, sister, friend or colleague has had those troubles...or even "Oh, we should talk more....that might be me too..."
Never thought I was signing up to be a poster child for this topic, but there you go.
I admit I am also slow in my approach to the ww work...I have been reading some things and checking out the site a bit in the last couple months in little spurts ...and I am now kicking myself for not buying the book sooner as it has been pulled from sales.....
Can anyone recommend what makes sense as a starting place ? I need to understand why I am doing what I am doing if I hope to get any staying power..... And I also feel I need to find some very practical things to take up....
Can you get the background reference somewhere other than in the book?
I will go look in the places suggested...and would be also most appreciative of any suggestions for a person toally new to the work.
I need some context and overview.......
Many thanks and again for you ears and voices.
Halfwayto90.

everhopeful

October 16, 2017 - 1:27pm

I think your honesty reflects the shock most of us felt to realise we were intelligent but never educated about some things that really affect our life and can be avoided! Although I went to the doctor, embarrassment made me go to the unfamiliar lady doctor in the practice and she never even gave me the word Prolapse to help with research. Two years later and much crazy work on static rower, mini trampoline,unhelpful yoga positions,building project with hubby etc and low and behold,unfortunately,prolapse!
Whole woman has given me my life back and for 3 years now I have been living an active and healthy life style.
I suggest u look at First Aid for Prolapse ,this ( on my dvd) includes details and examples of the posture,exercises and tips and is my 'bible' . Walking in posture and proper breathing together with organic ,healthy food r also important points to follow. Good luck,do update us of your progress. :)

halfwayto90

October 20, 2017 - 1:49pm

Dear Everyhopeful,
LOVE Your choice of names!
Thank you for your response.
I hope my next message is one of inspired hopeful success.
Warmly,
Hwto90 ..hahah highway? Hopefully 90 comes slowly. :-)

Wren

October 22, 2017 - 2:32am

Encouraged once again and as always grateful to read the kind and experienced replies. Sharing makes us all feel better. I am a herbalist and nutritional therapist aged 75 and healthy and well. The severe cystocele is the only problem. Like halfway to ninety I have started to talk about it to patients and friends. It is amazing how many share their own similar situation and I have referred many to the site. I lecture on health and nutrition and now bring the subject up even when there are men in the class. Once you open up it becomes easy and encourages others to do so. So grateful for, and amazed by, modern technology that enables sharing and advice across continents. Warm wishes from Ireland

halfwayto90

October 30, 2017 - 10:25pm

Thank you Wren for the warm wishes from Ireland..... Amazing to consider the strengths of women talking to each other around the globe... it must look like strings of light, like yarn wrapping around the ball.....
To all of you ladies who take the time to share and respond and assist- THANK YOU. It is very fortifying to feel you out there...
Halfwayto90