mom says she is going to have a baby and might it be the prolapse feeling?

Submitted by chickenfeet on December 24, 2017 - 2:34am
Body: 

It is going on a week that my mom is saying that she is having a baby. But it is a sorrowful lament and she is grief stricken about it and concerned about the babies and i am not sure if i should reassure her they are ok or redirect and divert or try and end the story by reassuring they are here but just older. I began to do a little of each to see how she takes each explanation and it seems she WANTS to REMAIN in that thought. Any attempt to clarify fails and letting her just talk it out or process it keeps this concern of hers alive.

I convince myself there is therapeutic value to this whole dilemma and it will come full circle but i might need to manage it well enough.

Anyone have this situation with their elder mom or case and found some ways of managing or what works best or is the best loving comforting way?

My mom is getting Parkinson like symptoms and is forgetting a lot of things lately.

She is in her early 80's and lately is beginning to have awareness of her body below so i am wondering if the prolapsed bladder if what she is constantly feeling, or
maybe the photos i showed of my nieces new baby triggered this or maybe i need to hire
a companion that will bring their baby along?
Im thinking it is either the sensation of either full bowels even though she is going without straining
the majority of the times or it is the bladder prolapse that she is feeling again.

Or she is recalling the total miscarriages she had or my moving far away for my spouses job which was traumatic for me as well as her, or her own loss of her siblings when she was younger.

Any ideas or samples of how you managed a similar situation and do you think the dropped bladder is part of the culprit?

Forum:

Surviving60

December 24, 2017 - 4:46am

Hi Chickenfeet - My only experiences with my elderly mom do not fall into anything this intense, but I'll just tell you what I think, and others may add their own thoughts.

Judging by your past stories of your mom, I'm sure she must be aware on some level, that she has a prolapse. We can't know for sure, but I agree her symptoms may be contributing to her confusion now. I do understand that it is often better just to "go along" with the delusions caused by dementia. But I think if I was in this situation, I would try to reassure my mom that she was not, in fact, having a baby. If you could convince her of this, it might be one less stress on her, and then it would be easier to identify and deal with the emotional issues she is having. - Surviving

Aging gracefully

December 24, 2017 - 7:01am

Everything you have mentioned could be possible.
The sad thing about dementia is that is does take a person to places they probably wouldn't want to be. Diversion, walking around, some medications, and even baby dolls were used when I was working in the nursing home. Some of our ladies had a baby doll most of the time, but I couldn't say where your mother would be on that or how she would react to it.
As far as diversions go, we had a few ladies that loved to sit and just fold laundry. There were activity boards, puzzles, group games. Being part of something always seemed to help them calm down.

Squirrel

December 24, 2017 - 7:54am

I worked with dementia residents in Nursing Homes and Assisted Living Facilities for 26 years..... One thing I thought of as I read your post. Could your mom have a Urinary Tract Infection? Every time one of our residents got more demented than usual it usually indicated they had a UTI.

Aging gracefully

December 24, 2017 - 8:47am

Hi Squirrel,
I remember that too. If you read over chicken feet's older posts, you will see she has talked about UTIs quite extensively here on the forum.
Not that the UTI couldn't be a factor, but increased confusion can create these episodes also.

Surviving60

December 24, 2017 - 9:19am

I like the baby-doll idea, if you think this might be a comfort to her. Do you see your mom or are you still trying to manage all this from afar? Is she in her own home with caregivers? - Surviving

chickenfeet

December 27, 2017 - 1:45pm

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chickenfeet

December 29, 2017 - 2:45am

Surviving, thanks. It feels like 99% of the time, my mom has NOT been aware of her prolapse for most of this past year. But i can't know for sure if her body and mind feels something down there, as she hasn't vocalized it. I have used various explanations or language to reassure her that she is not having a baby and she gives me an "are you kidding me" look, to let me know she expects me to verify her truth.
I will put her favorite music and video clips on so she redirects her attention from now on because i don't feel any dialogue is going to help. She isn't comprehending me.

chickenfeet

December 29, 2017 - 4:35am

Thank you Aging, We had alot of diversion up until 1-2 months ago. We had sewing, cooking, moving from area to area for different activity, going on outings, walking the dog, funny fav shows, folding laundry, musicians visiting and integrating with other regular visitors. But all of a sudden, getting up became difficult. I'm going to get a baby doll to try that. I'm starting to watch videos on how to care for those with parkinsons as it seems my mom fits those symtoms. I tried the coloring books and she pushed them away. Bingo was a flop at the senior center as well. Sitting with the ladies was great but now she can't get up and down from sitting without a scene. SO i am learning methods of managing this with as little struggle as possible while looking for a caregiver with those skills. THe one i have is not experienced with this or the balance issue but she helps with cooking and tries to be social with my mom, .. I am trying my hardest to find opportunties for being part of something. Shopping for presents but she just blew off and minimized the activity as MEH.... (but in her language)...So i just listed those things but we don't go over board and just keep the days chill with a few things she loves the most.

chickenfeet

January 2, 2018 - 12:44am

Yes Aging and Squirrel,
The MD looked at my mom and said if my mom had a true UTI she would not be sitting patiently as she was in his office. He is conservative to use Antibiotics although i have the pills ready just in case. He said her other markers don't show a true UTI. I do a protocol of mannose every few weeks but it takes two tubs and an alternating doses of olive leaf extract, silver, oregano oil, grapefruit seed extract, vit C and more. (learning what doses do the job at the moment) She can hold her urine for approx 2-3 hours so i am assuming this means she does not have inflammation.

chickenfeet

December 31, 2017 - 4:05am

Surviving, My parents have been and will be living with me permanently.