6 months PP - Background & Encouragement

I'm 27 and had my first baby in a "gentle" home birth 6 months ago (if you can call 47 hrs of unmedicated labor including 4.5 hours of pushing on my back gentle :)). My baby was asynclitic (chin to shoulder) and I learned I have a very narrow pubic arch. I tried every position possible, but the baby only moved forward when I was on my back. I noticed my urethra drop at 38 wks pregnant but I thought it was my cervix moving forward in preparation for birth! I had been very conscious of posture throughout pregnancy and breathed a huge sigh of relief PP that I didn't have to worry about posture anymore and sat/laid/nursed constantly with my pelvis tucked and my shoulders slumped in the weeks following birth.

Around 5 weeks PP I realized something was off. My symptoms were a heavy, dragging feeling in my vagina (which I thought was just a part of recovery), UTI like symptoms, especially after taking long walks, and stuck BMs a few times. I went for the 6 wk follow up appt with my midwives and they tested for UTI (negative) and said everything was healing nicely. I looked at my vagina for the first time after birth that night and was shocked to see two "pink bubbles" at the entrance of my vagina and a small hole at the top of it. I started googling and realized I probably had POP. I'm a doula and had wonderful, knowledgable midwives and NEVER ONCE heard the word prolapse.

I called my midwives who said to do Kegels and avoid deep squats. I went to the gynecologist who diagnosed me with a Stage II cystocele and Stage II+ rectocele and very grimly said I would eventually need repair surgery, would have chronic constipation from "round BMs", and my rectocele would push on the cystocele causing incontinence. I then went to a pelvic PT who said she didn't see a rectocele, just a cystocele and gave me a routine of advanced Kegels. I cried before and after every appt, didn't think I should have another child, and saw a hopeless, sexless future of fecal and urinary incontinence.

Around 3 months PP, I discovered WW and the Hab-it exercises. I purchased both and had tears of relief when I watched the intro of the First Aid DVD and Christene said, "take a deep breath, it's going to be ok." For the first time since my daughter was born, I felt compassion and understanding. With an int'l move (we live most of the year in India where I get to be inspired by women living and working with natural female posture all the time!) and a newborn, I didn't start diligently practicing WW posture until a couple weeks ago. A few thoughts:

1. I'll keep updating my progress here and if you're a new mom and feeling hopeless, please feel free to get in touch with me b/c I know how lonely and frustrating this road can feel.

2. I started to get back pain from the posture and I realized that instead of focusing on lifting the crown of my head, lowering my shoulders, and putting my feet straight ahead, I was subconsciously forcing lumbar curvature. For the last few days, I've been focusing on everything but the lower spine and there is no back pain! I thought this might help other newbies.

3. I was toileting with my feet propped up on a stool in a supported squat position, which was ok. I recently started using Christene's toileting posture and it is so much better (from what I understand, move to the front of the toilet and lift bum slightly, keeping a straight line between crown of head and tailbone). I haven't had stuck BMs in a couple months and if I ever feel that's happening, I gently manually break apart the stool behind my vaginal wall from the inside of my vagina (is this ok to do??). I now have very regular, predictable BMs thanks to a good diet and toileting posture.

4. Initially, my main thought was "how can I get rid of this ugly bulge?!" My perspective and my goals for healing have shifted significantly over the last couple months, a lot of it due to the WW book. I've come to love and respect my body in a way I never have before - it created and birthed my beautiful daughter, it allows me to enjoy and engage with the world around me, and I can experience so much pleasure from exercise, sex, nourishing food b/c of my physical body. I see prolapse as a wake up call to care for the foundations of my body, especially while I'm still so young. I've come to realize that as long as I'm not having symptoms, things aren't getting worse, and I learn to work with the prolapse, why does a bugle matter? I carried and birthed a human being so why would I expect my vagina to look like it did before?

5. Sex has been largely unaffected b/c of prolapse and I don't even think my husband would have noticed if I hadn't told him what I was going through. We first had sex 7 wks PP and there was a little bit of pain perineal pain until 10 wks PP. The only frustrating thing is that I've used a diaphragm for many years, but I don't think it provides a tight seal anymore b/c of prolapse. I refuse to use hormonal birth control and my husband and I don't like condoms. Anyone have ideas about contraception?

6. I've been exercising on an upright stationary bike for about a week now (this is the first cardio exercise I've done in 6 months!) and just try to stay in an acute angle. Is this ok?

This post became longer than I intended, but I was so helped by other's stories, especially in the weeks following my diagnosis. I'm so grateful for Christene's dedicated work and I hope my story is encouraging. I'll update as the PP recovery continues.

Much love from India!