so i've never really paid attention to my cystolcele...

Submitted by howdidthishappen on February 11, 2007 - 4:43am
Body: 

because it just wasn't troubling me at all. very very minor, was what i was told. and, let's face it, the rectocele was the one that felt not good.

but these last few days, i've noticed i'm leaking urine with more frequency. hm.. how weird. i'd love some input on this because, well, i just don't want to get freaked out at all. no point THERE.

now, i have been enormously increasing my activity level. wonder if that's related. again, with the rectocele, its just felt so FINE that i've pretty much been back to my normal things of gym, walking, just feeling good. maybe too much? maybe i need to refocus on the posture, i'm not in it as much as i think i am?

curious to hear about backslides with cystoceles. anyone get an increase in leaking and then have it return back to normal? you know i love those good, bolstering, inspiring stories women! (actually, what i really love is the TRUTH, so that's mostly what i'd love to hear.)

thanks, all.

xxsusan

alemama

February 11, 2007 - 9:06am

you were such a comfort to me a little while ago when I discovered that my anterior softening had become a full on cystocele. So I want you to know that it is better- I don't have any idea why- but I don't have the bulge right now. I know I will again but for the last week or so I haven't felt it or seen it.
I haven't leaked at all so I don't know what that is all about - do you still Kegel? I think you can probably assume that your cystocele will get better and worse better and worse. I am amazed at how positive you post it- your perspective on this whole thing has just been an inspiration to me.B

alemama

February 11, 2007 - 9:07am

ohhhh I just thought of something- maybe your rectocele was pushing your cystocele in and now that it is so much better the bladder has more room to come down

granolamom

February 11, 2007 - 9:33am

I think all of us have experienced exacerbations of symptoms and then remissions.
and I think alemama is on to something. a while back I remember reading (either on the forum or in the book) that sometimes the worse the bladder prolapse is, the less trouble a woman might have with leaking. something to do with the angle of the neck of the bladder.
and yeah, maybe the rectocele is taking up less space in the vagina now so the bladder is taking over. I think I did the opposite, I started off with a cystocele and as soon as it began to get smaller I developed a rectocele.
two steps forward, one step back. I have faith that with continued postural work, this leaking thing will be short lived.

spacetruck

February 11, 2007 - 10:51am

i really have had very little incontinence -- one of the reasons both doctors told me i could DELAY surgery. and both indicated too that sometimes the bladder is resting atop the urethra & preventing leakage. i am new to the posture so this may not apply to you.... but i am finding that as i work on the posture i sometimes have a little leakage. i have hypothesized that as i am training my bladder to sit where it belongs, my urethra has been freed from its restraint and lets loose! have there been any changes to your diet? more caffeine? caffeine causes incresed bladder contractions & frequent urges for me.

hoping your symptoms improve,
mary ann

howdidthishappen

February 11, 2007 - 2:38pm

oh you people...i love you. seriously.

thank you all for the encouragement and reminders about things. yes, interesting to think about as the rectocele retreats, possibly the cystocele feels more noticable? not sure. really trying to problem solve with it.

my diet remains pristine. so not sure that's what it's about. thinking the shoes i've been using the past few days might have SOMETHING to do with it. not as much padding in the ones i've been wearing as the ones i put back on today. i do also think i need to work more on the posture. it always does get back to that for me. i think when i sit, i need to think more about how my body is. standing and walking don't seem to be a problem with posture, but i need to pay more attention and just note it, i guess.

when i was first diagnosed, i did notice that leaking was happening. that pretty quickly stopped, so the leaking i'm doing now, i'm totally confident that i'll figure this out too -- with everyone's fantastic input, as well! -- and the leaking, bulgey feeling will go away again. this all is such a trip, isn't it?

and alemama, what an amazing thing to tell me. that my candor can do anything for ANYONE -- i mean, it does a lot for me, i KNOW -- moves me a lot and know that i get the very same thing from you. i'm totally bolstered by this site and feel such support from everyone here. i really do. and i just keep thinking that, even on a day like today when i feel the cystocele and have the slight leaking thing, in the scheme of things this is really just not a big deal. i mean, i can MAKE it a big deal in my head, or i can remind myself that this is really nothing catastrophic. in the least. it won't kill me, it really doesn't even get in my way all that much. it is a structural issue, ultimately, that i do believe can be re-structured, as it were. i mean, even before i had the prolapses diagnosed, i had good days and bad days. just in the normal course of life. so this is just a continuum of that, you know?

and, look! i've gotten to get to know all you AMAZING women! lucky me! and really, alemama, i just also think we are all okay. i won't buy into a doctor's viewpoint anymore of being damaged in any way. most of us here all have all our parts -- whew! like i said, count me lucky!

again, thanks all for all the input. i'd love to hear more if anyone has any thoughts.

xx as always.

susan

Lilly Anne

February 11, 2007 - 5:44pm

Hi Susan:

I am so sorry to hear that your cystocele is bothering you. It sounds like your issue is SI. Do you have discomfort from it as well. Can you differentiate between the two? Back to the potential SI, are you sure that it isn't discharge or sweat? From what I've read on this site, a few kegels are supposed to help. I am not an expert but your post gave me reason to pause. I am wondering if my discharge, sweat is indeed that or a little SI as well. I think I will try to kegel again. Its just so hard to tell if I am doing them correctly.

Susan, I wanted to send along a message of well wishes because you've been so helpful to me these past few weeks. I am sorry that my post is so short. To make a long story short, my boss hit on me on Monday and I am just very freaked out. Please know that I am here for you even if it doesn't seem to look that way in my post.

Wishing you lots of health & comfort!

- Lilly Anne

Grandma Joy

February 11, 2007 - 7:40pm

This is probably just a temporary thing. Remember, you're still pretty new at this, and as in all things, it takes time to adjust. It's just a yo-yo thing, you know? Up and down, up and down, but we do stabilize with the care we are taking. And I KNOW you are truly working hard at taking care of yourself, so please don't let it worry you.

I still have an occasional day that I notice minor problems, but I seem to be at the point now, that I just basically ignore it. Don't know if I should really do that, but usually whatever is bugging me goes away.

Hugs,
Grandma Joy

louiseds

February 11, 2007 - 11:05pm

Hi Lilly Anne

1 Can you clarify please, what is SI?

2 Re the incident with your boss, aren't there laws about hitting people in the workplace? Isn't it called assault? You don't have to put up with that behaviour. No wonder you are feeling a bit freaked (hug). Take care.

Louise

bertilsgirl

February 11, 2007 - 11:28pm

I haven't been leaking, but sometimes I protrude quite a lot and sometimes I realize that the signal to go to the bathroom is urgent. Some days I protrude hardly at all, my back hurts so little that I don't notice it and I walk with joy and freedom. This is usually on days when I'm well rested (not enough of them) and haven't been standing for long periods. I also have been taking a course in acupressure (Shiatsu) which I have found helpful, though it isn't geared specifically to prolapse. It does temporarily increase my energy and over time I believe it has been helpful.

Lilly Anne

February 12, 2007 - 12:05am

Thank you so much for your support Louise. Truthfully, I am not doing all that well tonight. By the way, my boss didn't hit me, he hit on me, meaning that he wanted to either date or have sex with me. Being that he didn't actually touch me, I can't have him arrested but I can have him fired. I'm just so freaked. I am sorry to bring this up on our prolapse site as it is not the most appropriate place to discuss.

SI means stress incontinence. Sorry for the confusion.

On another post I read that you weren't feeling well. I hope this passes quickly and that you are feeling better soon. I always enjoy reading your posts. You are an amazingly strong woman.

Good night & hugs to you!

- Lilly Anne

howdidthishappen

February 12, 2007 - 4:11am

what would i do without you women?

thank you all for the input and reassurance. and thanks for reminding me, joy, about how NEW i am to all this. so so new and even when i'm an old hand at it, i'll have to remind myself that our bodies are not static. they respond to not only what's put in with food but to emotions and events. even because of things i can't poinpoint, my body really isn't the same two days in a row -- cells are shifting, things are changing. but of course, i want a GUARANTEE that i will feel as good as my best day, every day :) too bad that sort of wish doesn't work. silly me.

it's interesting because i've been much more attentive to the posture in the last 24 hours and i've woken up this morning a little sore along both sides of my trunk. makes me think that, in fact, holding the rib cage well has NOT been something i've been doing till now and the soreness is gentle but just a reminder i'm doing something different. good to note. again, always gets back to basics, doesn't it. i've also gone back to peeing on all fours first thing in the morning to really empty by bladder out well. i did that when i initially came here -- and then the cystocele just didn't seem problematic -- and so i stopped. it's sort of a no brainer just to do it once a day that i'll just continue with it, regardless of being symptomatic or not.

now, lilly anne, as to YOU, that sounds awful and, of course, you're freaked out. i'm hoping there's someone in your work environment you might speak with about how to proceed. please, feel free to e-mail me if you want to. please breathe. we're all here.

again, everyone. THANK YOU. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.

xx

louiseds

February 12, 2007 - 6:44pm

Hi Lilly Anne

Thanks for the clarification. I must have had a seniors moment, as I am no longer blonde ;-)

BTW I am quite happy to talk with you about the Boss thing 'Off the Board'. Email me if you want, but it's cool if you don't.

Cheers

Louise

Lilly Anne

February 12, 2007 - 7:17pm

Your posts are always so positive. You sound better today and I am really glad. I just tried to email you and it said that you were not accepting emails. I think you may have to change/update your profile. I would like to talk offline and really appreciate your offer.

I have a question for you and for the other ladies. Its about urinating. I can't believe I am writing about this. Well, it seems that when I pee it starts and stops. When I really have to go my stream is normal. If I am distracted or nervous (I'm always anxious) my stream is weak. Is this normal? Is this all part of prolapse? I ask because this has been normal for me as long as I can remember. So, I am wondering, if this does pertain to prolapse, how long have I had this thing?

- Lilly Anne

howdidthishappen

February 13, 2007 - 3:51am

so one step back, two steps forward, i guess.

changed the shoes back to the really padded ones, shifted peeing stuff...things definitely seem better. another reference for me for the back and forth of this. thanks, everyone, for the input and great support. it's all so fantastic.

lilly anne...you know, my pee stream is REALLY weird. it goes in a million directions sometimes. i'm pretty sure it's related to the cystocele but since i don't have any real troubling symptoms generally with it, i just am putting that away and not worrying about it, you know? (because i am a worrier by nature so i COULD go a little nuts with that...) my guess is a lot of us have urine streams that don't look like one full-on stream. curious to hear about it from others. my point being, as with so many other things, we are each so different and i think the variety can all be considered normal, you know?

i actually just tried to e-mail you, too, and your contact info says the same thing. i e-mailed louise about this the other day...maybe you could to? i think something has to be reconfigured with the computer so we can get the e-mail contact working. i'd love to get e-mail from you and hear what's going on with work. sounds difficult and i'm happy to support you with this -- or whatever else is going on.

hugs to you, lilly anne, and all you other great women.

xxsusan

Therese

February 13, 2007 - 8:26am

I don't think I even have a stream so to speak anymore...so yes I think it does go a million different directions!
I just make sure I shift positions and make sure it is all out...I am grateful for that! Ha! Cranberry juice everyday...Cran/Prune everyday...I am an 80 year old...!

alemama

February 13, 2007 - 9:08am

I read something the other day and thought of your past posts but didn't mention anything then but this last post of your tweeked my brain and I figured I better mention it now before the last trace of it is gone....it was something about not being able to properly relax muscles- maybe you are keeping a tenseness to your PC muscles and you don't "remember" how to let them relax. If you kegal do you do a reverse kegal where you let it all out? B

mommynow

February 13, 2007 - 6:51pm

When I first had my daughter I had more problems from the cystocele and a prolapsed uterus. But as I learned the posture and improved my cystocele so much that is when the rectocele became such an issue. I agree with whoever said that maybe your diet is so good that your rectocele is not protruding as much and your bladder can sink in more. It is a fine line isn't it! To figure out how much of each thing would position everything in there just right so that you don't get symptomatic.

Lilly Anne

February 13, 2007 - 7:06pm

Wow, I pee in all different directions as well. I never even thought of the connection. Also, sometimes it does seem (when I look) that I have many different streams going on as well. I just assumed that (is it the vulva thing) was in the way. I really should take an anatomy class.

Since we are on the subject of really weird things down below I have another one. I am curious, do you ever feel like kind of bubbly down there. Its not gas, but kind of like a gas bubble. Its so hard to explain...

Lastly, what is a reverse kegel?

Hugs

- Lilly Anne

Lilly Anne

February 13, 2007 - 7:10pm

I just tried to email you and it still says you are not accepting emails. Thank you for trying to email me as well. Louise & I wrote to each other yesterday and she was so helpful. She really calmed me down and helped put things into perspective.

As soon as we can communicate off-line I will.

Thank you!

-- Lilly Anne

howdidthishappen

February 14, 2007 - 4:03am

well, your contact e-mail thing is working now, lilly anne, so i just sent you an e-mail.

please, know i am here.

so glad louise calmed you down yesterday. she does seem to have that gift.

take care, sweetie.

susan

alemama

February 15, 2007 - 12:31pm

well I can contract and pull in and then relase the contraction but then there is a little extra release you can do to fully release the muscle