In Desperate Need of more Info for Second Pregnancy

It is unfortunate you do not have a gynae like mine.

My Gynae told me if he checked out 100 women - 98% of them would have some sort of prolapse... Whether mild or whatveer. I had a grade 2 prolapse at the time and he told me ''If you want another baby go ahead the damage is more than likely done anyways''

I think that the way you deliver your next child would be important on how your prolapse reacts.

Ie - You dont hafta push for hours and hours - You can have a gentle non pushing labour (read this )

in my last birth (The damage done to me in my first birth and forceps etc) I pushed like once or twice only. When my body told me to push - (Stomach went rigid then i KNEW push was the next thing I would do) Then she was born.

People on here have gone through labour after their prolapse was disgnosed. And alot of women have had zero problems afterwards.

I truly WISH I had had the guts to move on cos now I have other health problems and the last baby is not on the cards for me and I regret that beyond all other things :( But - Life moves on and time moves on and chices are removed. I have learnt this lesson.

I wish you luck - You will be fine :)

I typed out a long response and aol got rid of it for me : (

the short of it was:
1-find a midwife
2-learn all you can about natural, active childbirth
3-get christine's book to learn more about the normal female anatomy and its intrinsic strength of design, how prolapse develops, how help stabilize prolapse, etc
4-yes, I think a doula is a wonderful person to have around during labor/birth. I had one for the last two and plan to again for this one. it was really good for me to have a supportive wise woman on hand
(hey---christine, do you doula??)
5-keep in mind that each labor/delivery is different, just because you had such a traumatic experience last time doesn't mean it would be that way again

sorry so short, if you have more ??'s just ask away

I'm sorry to hear about your having to give up dreams of that one last baby. That's got to be hard. {{{{hugs}}}}
I hope you move past the regret though, sometimes what we think is lack of guts is really a deep inner knowlege that what we think we want isn't really right for us.

I was so blessed to have been present at my granddaughter's birth, but I do not plan anymore outside the family. Doulas are such a great interface between the medical system and a delivering mother, but in a homebirth setting the midwives seem to occupy that role, don't they? I was only important to my daughter because I'm her mother and I think she just wanted the old, trusted "mama" energy with her. And I didn't do anything but utter a few o-o-ohs and a-a-ahs and take pictures! A really fine midwife would be mindful of positive birthing positions and also encouraging of a prolapsed woman's trust in her body's ability to protect her organs during delivery. My daughter was, of course, aware of all that.

Kind of a funny story...when the midwives first began visiting Nikelle they would ask her things like, "Do you know how your uterus is positioned in your body?" or "Do you know how the baby is going to move through your pelvis?" My very polite daughter told me she just smiled and nodded her head, all the while thinking, "Lady, if you only KNEW how well I'm acquainted with female pelvic anatomy!!" :-)

My dream was always to have 4 - But I am very lucky to have the 3 I have - Now I have MS and a paraumbilical hernia's return to contend with. Sometimes you know that what you want would cause more problems (Last time the hernia got strangulated and emergency surgery etc) So... Life goes on with that twinge of regret. But - I adore my three kids and I am a very lucky person to have such beauuuuutiful children :)

By the time I get through the surgery I am due to have very soon (Took a year or more last time) I will be a year older and am already old (lol - Ok not that old but I am 38)

Sometimes things change life's course - We grieve thenwe are forced to move on. Such is life :) And I will move on. Just hafta get past this surgery to fix the silly hernia again. lol

:)

Christine...
Do you have any pics of the little one?

Oh Sue…yours is one more story of the loss, acceptance, and letting go that we all have to do. Sometimes I think life is all about learning how to do let go gracefully, and that's just how you sound.

I was going to email you, but instead will just tell you here that I’m going to a dance workshop in Taos this weekend – leaving today and coming home Sunday evening. I won’t be taking my computer (my eyes are jumping for joy) and plan to dance my heart out. I’m 55 in May and I, too, question how much longer I’ll be able to do the things I love.

Since Louise’s computer is still in the shop and granolamom observes Sabbath (no computers) until sundown Saturday, could you keep an eye peeled for spammers? HUGS!!

I’ll post more pics of the baby – did you see her birth story? – when we get the gallery working. I think it would be grand if we all shared photos of each other and our lives.

If Therese happens to read this…I will be working on your sewing instructions as soon as I return! Because it’s kind of hard to explain with just words, I wanted to just make a skirt taking pictures along the way. I posted a t-shirt article like this once and it worked out pretty well. I don’t know if I’ll have that sort of time next week, but one way or another I’ll describe how to do it.

Lots of love,

Christine

Can't remember if i saw the birth story...

I will keep my eyes peeled.

:)
I wouldnt say I have done it gracefully - But knowing that life and death is involved - Guess I know I will serve more good to the 3 I have being alove and semi in tact.
:) Have a great weekend

you are right Christine, the mw does reduce the need for a doula by not having medical staff around.
If only we were all as fortunate and blessed as your dd to have a supportive mom around! my doula kinda fills that roll, as well as anyone could really replace a mother. my mother can't say the word 'vagina'. she doesn't even say 'pregnant', its always 'expecting'. and if she *were at the birth it would be more about her than me. ok, that's my vent of the day.
so anyway, the doula oohs and ahs and takes pics and lends the 'mother presence' that I do believe is so necessary for a laboring woman.

there has been a lot of talk recently about regrets. Do not let your pelvic organ prolapse stop you from growing a family. If you feel like having another baby is in the cards, then by all means have one. You can get a midwife- but the truth is you are the one most concerned for your pelvic health. So do some research- google pelvic organ decent. you will find that published medical studies do not know if it is pregnancy or birth that *causes* POP. but what you will find is that all the women in those studies who have had one child -end up with higher pelvic organ motility.
So what this means IMHO is that if you have another child you may or may not worsen your symptoms of POP- the real question is do you care?
Personally I am giving this thing some time- I have had 3 babies in 3 years and now I am going to wait and see. It is the deepest desire of my heart to have more children- but I am open to what life has to offer me. Adoption, foster care, surrogacy or my very own pregnancy and birth. What ever- it takes time to think this all through. I am still thinking about it.
Just don't let fear motivate your decisions. You can discuss this with people in the medical profession until you are blue in the face- but the truth is they don't know- they don't even read the studies that you will find and read- and they have no idea how your body will react to another pregnancy. You will find knowledge and faith in your own body as time goes on. You will know what ever you decide will be the right decision for you.

Thanks Christine!
Also I want to say that mom and I were on the phone going over your cleaning tips Christine and we are going to try them!! Thanks for putting that in the book! Mom said these were many of the things her mom used to clean on the farm...with the advent of TV they went out the window didn't they???! I think that was when those things changed...easier to advertise chemicals in a pretty bottle with dancing girls...ha!

Hi mumwithone,

Sorry for the late reply, was on vacation. I thought my experience may be reassuring to you...

I had a 2nd pregnancy/birth with an existing stage 2 cystocele/rectocele from my 1st birth and everything went fine (actually wonderfully) with the second pregnancy/birth...

My prolapse had improved a little by the time I became pregnant again. My midwife had told me that after the baby is a certain size, the pelvic area bones are doing a lot of work holding up the baby. That reassured me and the pregnancy was fine (just a little more of a heavy feeling right near the end). The delivery (a home birth - in water) was no problem - nothing about the prolapse got in the way or seemed to affect anything.

I had homebirth midwives but also had a doula for the 2nd birth. We had come to know her and love her after our first birth. I highly recommend a good doula. She was with me providing support from the first little contractions and all the way through. My midwife didn't arrive until later in the process.

Finally, I'm now 2 years out from the 2nd birth, and have now improved to about a stage 1 - most days, don't really notice the prolapse.

Please feel free to email me if you have any further questions...best wishes to you.

Carolyn

thanks for your post.....I love hearing stories like yours. we can birth babies and still see improvement in prolapse. how wonderful!!!!

This is my first time posting here & I too am so glad to have found this site! I just wanted to tell you I was having serious symptoms of a prolapse (rectocele) after the birth of my first that improved somewhat (from splinting maybe 80% of the time to maybe 65%). Then I got pg w/#2. My high needs 19 month old weighing 25 lbs hasn't done anything to help the condition, I'm sure. Regardless, over the course of my pregnancy (due in 4 wks), my symptoms have improved SO much! I don't think I've had to splint at all in maybe 2-3 months. I've been *trying* to be diligent about kegels & I'm sure this has helped. Now I'm just anxious to see how things turn out post partum.

My OB assured me the prolapse would not affect the delivery of another baby, unless I had surgery prior (means scheduled c-section or if vaginal, repair would be undone & harder to redo). Surgery was up to me and if I was willing to live w/my symptoms. I didn't know there were alternatives until now & am so glad I was too busy to be laid up recovering from surgery to have had it done previously.

I was really glad to see that link on pushing!!! I pushed w/DD for over 2-1/2 hrs! I'm sure this contributed to the rectocele, as well as feeling "constipated" from 2 wks post partum & not being diagnosed until around 12 wks (ie = 10 wks of trying to "push" past the constipation!!!) I already talked to my OB today about the "no pushing" concept. He agreed, but was just cautious to not take it too far! He was on call when a homebirth patient came in who refused to push "because she wasn't suppposed to". She had been 100% & dilated w/the baby crowned for 24 hrs!!! In doing a little perineal massage & convincing her to just try to push a little once, the baby popped right out!

Hope things work out for you too to have a happy and healthy 2nd pregnancy! :D
******************************************
~Christy in CA
Mama to 1 = "severe" rectocele
Preg w/#2 = symptoms dramatically improved :D

So often women ask “How can the posture affect rectocele?” The pregnant pelvis is a greatly exaggerated ww posture, where the entire pelvic interior – including the large bowel - is being pulled up and out to the front.

I prolapsed in my first birth - Nobody bothered to tell me though...

After this I had two more births - Still nobody bothered to tell me...

So - To 'manage' effectively a further birth is really in my opinion more luck and fate than anything else...

In my last birth I gave only one push (I will add the link to pushnot at end of this) You dont hafta push and push and pushhhhhhhhhh - That is not a relaxed (lol yeah) Birth...

I saw my Gynae last year - He told me that most if not all women who have given birth will have some degree of prolapse - If I believe him (and he is not a surgery advocating all the time man) then say we halve what he says - And 50% of women have a prolapse...

Most women have further pregnancies...
Most women do not know...

In one respect you are lucky to know now...

I have had 2 births with episiotomies (one being forceps too)
and one tear...

I am still here - Yeah I have a prolapse - Maybe it is a 'ribbon of motherhood' like the stretch marks?

I dunno - This one I would rather not have lol

I would say to take control of your next birth - Make it as calm and everything that birth should be. I only wish I knew of the existence of this before the prolapse reared it's head...

http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/pushnot.html

thanks for the link, sue

I'm starting to get anxious about baby-day. I'll be 37 weeks tomorrow. time to do some gentle birth reading!

Will be thinking and praying for you often!!
37 Weeks!!! WOW!!
How exciting...My Lily is 5 months now and I was just telling her
today that I don't know how we ever waited SOOOO long for her!!
Seven years after my last baby when she came and I think how SILLY it was to think we couldn't deal with a baby again...thought we were too old and out of practice...ha!
She has been an excellent teacher and we are so in the swing of things!! She is just coming into her true chubbiness---Oh...this is a FUN time and I hope for you all of that again granolamom!!

isn't it wonderful to be so near the end? Are you getting crazy yet? I get sort of nutso at the end

thanks for the good thoughts, therese

and alemama...yes I'm getting nutsto. I keep a notebook by my bed so when I can't sleep I can just jot down all my worries for tomorrow and then I can rest easier. and why is it I feel the need to rid our home of ALL clutter before the baby gets here???
I'm driving my kids crazy too, dh knows already what I get like, he's amused : )

At this time you will be possessed of astronomical strength--you will be able to split atoms just by lookin' at 'em! HA!
The signs of a really good mother ready-ing her nest..

gotta make room
and I think in anticipation of not wanting to clean so much with a new baby-
good technique with the notebook-I will try to remember that

Wow, 37 weeks!!!
I wish you a very gentle birth and a lovely time with your newborn!
Love,
Reka xxx

thanks for the good wishes, reka