Rectocele -I'm only 28! Help!

Hi Nicole

I'm sorry to hear about you're new's and can relate well to youre feeling's as iwas the same age when i found out about my 'cele, and freaked out about it in a big way.On many level's, as a woman deep down, with regard to my sexuality and my youth and i also found it very "unfair".. i was too young. this was for pple older :)

It took time for me to understand what i read here and to make all the very positive changes i have to my live on account of my 'cele..

I eat well, my profession is now alternative medicine (acupuncture), i do yoga, qi gong, have discovered sexuality is not so genital centred but yet i have no shame about my changed architecture.. I have no pain and so far things have pretty much stayed as they are.

I realise you have other issues going on and have not had result's with the approach you've tried.. perhaps' the alternative field may help you too in that regard - with the right well trained practitioner,, i've been checking out things every few months and have learnt a lot and improved my health and balance no end, No reversal of 'cele yeah but no change either really so things could be worse..

ANyway , regarding surgery, check out christine's book, she's the expert (well the all round 'cele expert far as i'm concerned!) and at a dark time, that book in this site made all the difference..

Best wishes

Personally (Trying to get this post written fast as I hafta go out)

I would not go for surgery and do NOT sign up for any until you have read alot of this site... Cos basically surgery tends to not fix but to send you into a spiral of fixes of the fix of the fix.

Here we will help you with posture that will make your body do its own work and things WILL be a helluva lot better for you :) Believe me - I have three 'celes' Rectocele Cystocele and Uterine also - I was a wreck when I got here also - Now I am fine - No surgery just posture - And amazingly life does go on and you CAN live well with prolapse :-) You really can.

I didnt believe a word of it when I arrived that a few simple things would be able to help but they have.

First - Don't kegel yourself to death that makes things worse - It tires out the muscles and makes things worse. I would say 5 good kegels of 6 seconds hold a day has been just right to help me with all celes.

Second - Do not believe every word a Doctor says - They only live by the knife and thats all they know. Soon - When you have learned from this site you will be able to show your Dr a NEW WAY - This is a revolution - Welcome :-) It is easy for a Dr to say this will fix it but once he has fiddled and sewn this to that down in your 'underparticles' It will stop the body being able to naturally put things back in place because they are now tied where they should not be ied if you know what i mean.

You will be fine - You will - Read about posture, it is easy when you know how and becomes part of normal life :-) Then suddenly a few weeks down the line you wonder why you were freaking so much - cos you will never forget the word 'rectocele' but you will be able to understand the workings of the natural female body and you will have joined a family here that will help you every step and with every question that bothers you.

Feel free to email me if you need to (There is a line I think if you click on my name) I will help all I can - :-)

Above all - Take your time - Breathe - And sort your constipation - That is something that you need to sort as even with surgery constripation will wreck the work, and make things feel worse.

Welcome :-)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

How familiar are you with your anatomy? Can you find your cervix? I ask because we rely so heavily on Dr.s to tell us what is going on and most of the time we have the knowledge ourselves right at our very fingertips.
There is a self-exam on this website. Try to find it and see if you can figure out what is going on.
I am sad that you have had to go through so many invasive procedures in your quest for knowledge and a cure.
If in fact you do have a rectocele know now that there is no cure. There certainly is a quick fix, but we all know what happens to those.
You have time to work this out.
I am guessing that when you sort out your constipation problem your symptoms will be better.
I don't know how you eat now or what your life philosophies are but a major dietary change is in your future.
As for the boyfriend....well if you would like to keep it private you can always tell him that you are having a pelvic health crisis and that you are going to need support and understanding if you seem out of sorts. Or you could tell all the gory details and see if he runs- it is a barometer. How he responds under real life pressure.
It is good that you have an apt. with a surgeon. Hopefully by the time you see him you will be able to provide him with an education that is much less expensive than the one he got but just as valuable.
Hang in there Nicole. This site has a wealth of information. Use the search function and explore the FAQs- Read the articles.
But first just breathe because you can live well with this. Maybe even better than before.

Hi Nicole:

I have a cystocele caused by constipation as well. I am sorry that you too have to post on this site because of it but just know that you are not alone.

I am 40 years old and have IBS with constipation. While I am a few years older then you I still feel I too am too young for this. In any event, I have it and so do you. I was diagnosed in November.

One of the most important things that you must do for yourself right now is to get your diet under control. It is very important to eat lots of fruits and veggies. Think fibre. A good fibre cereal in the morning is very helpful to start the day out right.

My constipation is called idopathic constipation - (unknown). Diet alone doesn't help me. I'd work closely with your gastro or a nutritionist on this. I also take medication that has been helping greatly. I take amitizia and stool softners. I also take a probiotic. This combination seems to be helping a lot. There is a wealth on info. on this site that will give you diet and exercise ideas.

I am not for or against surgery, but once it is done, you can't undo it. That being said. I'd take the consertive approach. Start with changing your diet and incorporate exercise if not already doing so. Exercise helps sluggish bowels. Drink plenty of water too. Think about taking a probiotic. Your gastro may not readily suggest this to you but talk about it with him/her. I did and he said he thought it was a good thing to try. Mine doesn't typically talk about alternatives to regular medicine. Be your own researcher. A lot of the women on this site take probiotics (from what I've read).

Lastly, I can vouch from experience, coming to terms with this for me was/is no easy task. I can tell you this. For the past couple of days it hasn't been on my mind quite as much.

Feel well!
- Lilly Anne

Hi Nicole

I can only agree with the other ladies, but I would like to add that you may be worried about having babies with rectocele. There are lots of women who visit the Forum regularly who have had pregnancies and births with prolapses, no worries, as long as you do all the right things.

Yeah, rectoceles suck. I have had a lot of success keeping mine under control. It still appears occasionally but disappears again quite quickly. Not all women have the success that I have had, but quite a few women have had success.

Just read the site thoroughly, use the search box over on the left, and keep visiting and posting. Help is at hand.

Cheers

Louise

when i first got prolapse i was really paranoid that my hubby would notice during sex.
he doesn't notice at all. when it was more symptomatic sex was more uncomfortable as i felt a horrible sensation into my bowel. that lessened with time.
i can also confirm that pop did not affect my fertility at all. after my rectocele was diagnosed i went on to conceive and deliver a 9 lb 8 oz baby (born just 10 weeks ago). that (with self care concerning constipation issues, good diet, being careful to maintain good posture) did not worsen my prolapses. i did have a brief period where a cystocele was peaking out, but that passed quickly, and my cervix is now higher than before.
its hard not to panic. i was screaming for surgery when i first discovered mine aged 32 then (i'm 33 now). i resented being sent for physio before a gynae would assess me. but now i see the good providence of God in that. now i wouldn't contemplate surgery unless there was a significant worsening of symptoms. i'm currently asymtomatic.
no one can tell you what to do, but as others have said, don't panic. take your time and try living well with it first.
blessings,
babs

I'm sorry you've had the need to search us out, but happy you found us. I think its good to know that you are not alone. I was 32 when I found my cystocele and developed a rectocele shortly thereafter. I totally flipped and wanted nothing more than to have it fixed. thankfully I found this site before I found a surgeon because I've been living rather well with my prolapses, don't even think about them most days.

its possible that the rectocele didn't show up on colonoscopy due to your position during the test, and that nobody's ever looking for a rectocele.

I don't know much about vulvodynia and pelvic floor dysfunction (though there was someone here about a year ago with vulvodynia, a girl in her early 20's, anyone remember??) but I think its entirely possible that this is all related. just a gut feeling I have. I wouldn't be at all surprised, if once starting to practice the posture, exercises and diet recommendations here, you saw positive change all around. of course there's never any guarantee's, but that goes for surgery too.

if and when you see a surgeon, please don't forget to ask him/her about recurrence statistics, including how many women go on to develop other prolapses after fixing one. its not so straightforward as many dr's would have us believe.

as far as your boyfriend, I'd think that if you've been able to share the vulvodynia issue with him, he's up for this too. It took me a while to tell my dh about my prolapse, he didn't notice a thing (or so he claims). The women here really helped me get it all in perspective though, and just having others to talk to and share with normalizes it. I don't even feel damaged anymore.

so stick around, ask any questions you have, and know there is hope.

Hi again Nicole

There is no such thing as shame or 'too much information' on this site. We share all sorts of graphic stuff that we really couldn't share anywhere else.

You are a brave lady for opening up about prolapse and bulimia, and I can only encourage you to keep going with your recovery. Many of us wish that we had done things differently or stood up when things were done to us that we didn't want. We have all just had to move on to a better future, which you are now doing. Hopefully any shame you feel will quietly turn to simple regret eventually, and cease to have any power over you. Keep posting.

Cheers

Louise

I think the 'confessional' is part of the healing process. many of us here regret some of the choices we've made, and wonder if we've had a hand in creating our own prolapses.
but that is the past.
what's important now, is that your body is telling you something. most likely something along the lines of 'love me, respect me, take care of me'

read through the faq's page here, and as many posts as you can. do a search for 'constipation' or 'rectocele' and you will be swimming in information, tips, and personal stories.

take your time going through it all. this isn't going away anytime soon, so you have all the time you need.

the posture takes a while to really 'get'. at least it did for me. I personally find a small rolled up towel helpful for driving, yes, I put it in the small of my back.

sitting, well when I'm on the floor with my kids I sit 'indian style' with my back nice and straight. on a chair I don't cross my legs unless I'm sitting indian style, but I don't like to sit that way on chairs. so I sit at the very edge of the seat so I don't get lazy and lean back, and bring my back into the posture. I don't like to keep my feet on the floor, they always end up tucked up under the chair, but that's just my own nuttiness, nothing to do with posture.

exercise is not only ok, but its good for you and good for your prolapse. the key is to find a way to keep your body in a good position while exercising. I'd love to run, but can't due to arthritic knees and hips, but I do walk briskly. at first I walked slowly, ever mindful of my posture. once I got the hang of the posture I was able to increase my speed. don't know anything about those elliptical trainers, never used one myself.

re: sex, maybe this will reassure you a bit. someone a while back posted (was it sue? maybe?) that she felt things were 'pushed back into place' during sex. another member posted that after 'sex with a good ending' things felt higher up. so sex might be good for your prolapse too! whether or not it will irritate, I don't know. most women here have not had any pain with sex. you'll have to try it to know for sure. but what's the worst? It'll hurt, so you'll stop. I can't imagine that you'll do further damage.

don't be sorry for all the questions. even if your doctor was next door, its possible s/he wouldn't have these answers. at least not from this perspective.

You will find quite a few discussions about exercise if you type it into search on this forum. Personally I feel best prolapse wise after running. I recently purchased an elliptical to give my knees a break a couple days a week and to help get off some lingering pregnancy pounds. The key for me no matter what type of exercise is to stay in posture as much as possible and to return to posture when I discover myself straying. Good luck and keep asking questions you will feel so much more empowered as you advocate for yourself.

Dear Caterpillar7

I just had to chime in here as well as I can so relate you!

I also suffered from bulimia for several years during my late teens and early twenties. All that you say resonates with me, though I have to say that I am no longer ashamed of this part of my life in the least. It was for me a coping mechanism, albeit a very dysfunctional one, which got me through some rather difficult years. You need to most certainly CONGRATULATE yourself for being in recovery from what can be a very difficult disorder to shake off. Don't punish yourself anymore by feeling guilty please! Feel oh so proud of how far you have come, and how much you have grown through the process of your recovery!!! :)

Bulimia may indeed be a factor for POP for both you and I. However on reflection, without in any way belittling the effects of prolapse, I would trade the bulimia for my pelvic organ prolapse any day!! The years I spent lost in the hell of bulimia nervosa were far worse than any of this could be for me, and a fair exchange I believe now.

You have found a very positive and soul nourishing place here with many wise women. Allow yourself to be cared for by everyone and you will find your way through all of this as well I promise!

Hugs and good luck to you.

Michelle.

You are so very welcome! If you would like to chat some more feel free to e mail me as well. Remember, I have been where you are, and I too went through quite a few lapses before I was done with it all finally. It really does take time, that is OK.

Of course you are falling back on the old coping skills right now, it is completely understandable during such a time of stress, so be gentle with yourself but do not let it take over completely again. Now is the time to really be building on the progress that you have made, and each day it wont seem so hard. I can literally remember saying to a therapist at one point that I knew in my heart that I would never be free of bulimia. How wrong I was! Here I am many years later a healthy woman, happily married with two beautiful children. Life is good for me, and I can say without any hesitation that food is no longer an issue in the slightest, and neither is my weight. That is amazing to me when I reflect on it, though I don't so much these days. I never believed I would get here and I did. So will you.

Try to be around supportive people. I am sorry that your boyfriend is being less than supportive. That is totally his issue though, not yours.

Try not to punish yourself about the recent purging episode as well. You can't think what might or might not have happened if you hadn't done it that day. My body went through an amazing healing process after I recovered. I was a mess for many years, and now I am fine, (except for some ever so slightly saggy parts :) The body has an amazing ability to heal, really.

With the posture, don't consciously try to stick your butt out. That will most likely make your back sore. Gently drop your shoulders and draw up your rib cage, while relaxing, but not really bending your knees. Drop your chin a little. This will ensure that the lumbar curve is maintained but not exaggerated. You will find that your stomach will not stick out as it too will be pulled up, but it will be relaxed, not consciously held in. You are basically elongating your body, and walking tall and proud! Experiment, especially with the relaxed knees. It is quite hard to tuck ones butt under with relaxed knees which is good as the tucked under butt is what we are trying to avoid. The same is true for the pulled up ribs. It will seem strange at first but with practice it will become easier. Now when I consciously tuck my butt under it feels so wierd to me! I don't think my posture was terrible before, but now it just feels wrong to flatten my spine in that way. Same thing goes for yoga. I used to love it, but now it feels so unnatural, and against what our bodies should be doing.

I hope that you are beginning to feel a little better, I sense that you are. Anyway, you know where we all are! :)

HI there!
finally have net access, so catching up...
I am so glad you found this site, as there is (as you are finding!) such great support here. I know this has been invaluable for me.
I just wanted to share a few thoughts...

As you have seen, there are many women here living really well with POP. I think the insistence of surgeons that you need surgery makes it feel that much scarier. One thing that has helped me is to think of how many women out there have prolapses and aren't doing anything to support there bodies, but are living with it (I read that some people believe 80% of women have rectoceles! How many have it and don't realise...). The women here are living and changing their lives. I have to say, I really don't notice my prolapses anymore after such a short period of time, and am taking such better care of my body now. I always ate well, now I eat better. I go to accupuncture regularly...all sort of things. I decided that if the prolapses are here to get me to look after my body and stop other things from happening to me, then I can do this. But I still think about it a lot (mostly now I'm thinking "wow, i don't feel anything" over and over all day long...), so don't be hard on yourself if you are examing / thinking all the time--it's all new!

Posture...when it really kicked in for me was when I really worked with the image of supporting my organs...of them resting forward onto my lower abdomen/ pelvis, and everything else just goes along for the ride. It is strange at first, but it becomes natural.

Sex...My physio gave me homework to go have sex. Hope that helps give you confidence to know she advocates it!!!

Just hoping that all helps a bit...

TMI post...

I noticed after eating 2 punnets of strawberries - That constipation is NOT a problem at all (lol)
My mother ate 1 punnet (We love strawberries - Gods food) And she told me the same thing and she is always constipated and has been all her life.

So grab a largeeeeeeeeeeeee handful of a watery fruit, like strawberries or grapes, and see what this does for your constipation :)

And when having a BM - Don't strain just twist your body to the right - Twisttttt and for some reason it causes the stomach to empty easier without pushing - No idea but seems to not work when twisting left - But when I had a diff surgery by keyhole the Dr said they go in fromt he left as there is less innards or whatever on that side so that could explain it...

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

Hi Nicole

Hang in there girl. Try not to jump hurdles you haven't come to yet. Just take it one step at a time. Go to your appointments, get the tests, wait for the results then take a careful look with your doctor at the results, and just take as much time as you can to process all the information before you make any big decisions.

It sounds like you are doing the food side of things really well. It is not until you get a crisis like this that you can really test out how far you have recovered. Baby steps. One day at a time.

Best wishes

Louise