Periods make everything worse?

Yes in the week before your period everything is worse - I dont think the brick wall you are feeling is your bladder - There is a pad of fat in front of it and you can feel that (Thats what I found it to be after alot of 'testing' lol

Do not worry - The more you do the posture the less heavy it will feel before your period :)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

i think you had said you have a dermoid cyst. i just googled that to make sure my memory was serving me right, in that they can contain hair and teeth.
well, my guess is that that cyst is causing all your other symptoms. my guess would also be that when you have that removed that your pelvic floor which is quite elastic, will bounce back up, and you'll get relief from your 'celes without any further intervention.
just my 2 pennies'worth!
babs

yes, I definitely noticed that things got worse before my period. around ovulation too.

my cystocele developed slowly and then one day got MUCH worse. rectocele seemed to pop out of nowhere.

and I'm with babs, I think once you get rid of the cyst you'll find that things improve. at least I hope so! when are you scheduled to have it removed?

and fwiw, you will always have a vagina! it might be full of other stuff, but it'll still be there. and yes, this is awfully damaging psychologically. It's really hard to come to terms with it.
I didn't notice any change in my 'celes for about a year, and that was frustrating because it seemed that so many women here saw improvement so quickly. but everyone is different so I try not to compare.

Yes, over the past 6 months or more, I've been very sore below just before my period (that was before I found out I have bladder/urethra prolapse). Once my period starts usually the soreness there eases off.

I suppose the prolapse was developing gradually but it suddenly got much worse after using the wretched Kegelmaster for just 1 week! But at least it meant I HAD to go to the doctor, which meant I found out about the prolapse. So that means I can start doing the posture etc to try and improve things. It is all rather depressing though. I still find it hard to accept that I'll have to change my lifestyle. I was trying to get fit so I can walk for miles - now I wonder if I'll be able to do that. And I like dancing to pop music but am scared in case it makes prolapse worse.

I'm sorry your symptoms seem worse, Nicole. I haven't finished reading the book yet, so haven't really started on the posture properly. I think a lot of ladies on this site find it helpful though.

Beejay

Hi Nicole

Yep, definitely all gets worse near period time. I think it is because there is a lot of extra fluid in my abdomen in general. That's gotta mean higher intraabdominal pressure until I lose all the extra fluid by about day 2 of period. Also my bladder fills more during the first two days of period, ie it is removing retained fluid from my body. I just wee and wee and wee some more!

The good thing about it is that I don't have to worry about it because it *always* resolves itself. I greet periods with joy these days as it means that my prolapses will move up again in a couple of days, and I won't feel so grumpy either!

Re fast or slow descent, I have noticed on the Forum a few women for whom it has happened fast, like overnight. I think I have had prolapses for at least 24 years which started slightly after first pregnancy (1982), worsened during second pregnancy (1985) (when I became hyperstimulated from infertility treatment and had football sized cysts on both ovaries from the beginning of pregnancy, 5 litres of fluid drained off in hospital during week 6), lost all sensation in pelvic floor muscles after that pregnancy, recovered with physiotheapy, cervix a little lower again, then a little lower again after third easy pregnancy and good labour (1987). No major problems other than a little more stress incontinence than normal. Then about 16 years after that some major marriage stress accompanied by chronic constipation from the stress, and the emergence of rectocele. I moved out, doing a lot of manual lifting myself, then moved back in again six months later. Cumulative result was that I now had all three prolapses, uterus and bladder completing their descent over 12 months or so.

(My theory on rectocele is that it causes/aggravates constipation because it somehow blocks the body's elimination ability, and stops the feeling of fullness that leads to wanting to evacuate. The bowel just gets fuller and fuller. By simply using my thumb in my vagina to gently push the kinked bit of bowel back to straight the normal urge to evacuate takes over and the bowel will then empty by itself. This is called splinting.)

Some women who have had surgery for incontinence experience sudden descent of uterus and/or bladder. Likewise hysterectomy just leaves a space for everything else to fall into. However, I wonder if some of these post-surgery prolapses might have happened anyway, surgery or not. Some women who have had no surgery also report sudden prolapse, but I wonder if they were just not aware of their prolapses when they could not see or feel them for years previously.)

Christine may lynch me for even suggesting the above, but undoubtedly any incontinency or prolapse surgery changes a woman's body so much that the body has to compensate somehow, and gravity helps. Voila, further prolapse.

Cheers

Louise

I've been feeling panicky today as the urethrocele has shifted down further during the course of the day, and only just still in. I was thinking, what the hell have I done? No heavy lifting, nothing, yet it still headed downwards. Then I looked at the calendar - yes, only 2-3 days to go till the monthlies. So I'm hoping it will go back up once everything starts. My m-i-l has been trying to persuade me to have surgery as she had it done and was fine. But when she had it done she had already ceased sex altogether, but I don't want to give up for the rest of my life. I'm trying to work out what to say to her as she will keep trying to persuade me to have an op.

Beejay

tell her your Dr. does not recommend that course of action. I had my mom read the main page with the FAQs and haven't heard another word about surgery- Now she has even read the book.
Beejay- I wanted to tell you I dance- all kinds- I even break dance a little. If I dance for a couple of hours I will feel my prolapses more the next few days- but they always go back to baseline within the week. So if you want to dance to pop music then do it- just try to recover into the posture when you are in between moves.

Hi Beejay

You could just tell her that "I acknowledge that you have had a favourable long term result from your surgery and that I realise that you are only wanting what you feel is best for me, but that my body will still be healing from birth for at least another 11 months, and that you couldn't have surgery under NHS until 12mo postpartum anyway because they won't do it for this reason. Please don't mention it again because when you try to persuade me to have surgery I feel annoyed and harassed (or whatever you do feel) and it makes me feel very negative towards you (or whatever it does to you). I will be putting the possibility of surgery out of my mind for at least a year, so please don't try to talk to me about it."

That hopefully will get her off your back re prolapses for at least the next 11 months so you can give the Wholewoman techniques at good go.

You are absolutely right about your mother in law being in a different body, with completely different attitudes, at a different stage of her life. You could also try this argument if the former speech has no influence.

If that doesn't work, she is obviously not hearing what you are saying (ie she is not *listening*. She may secretly even be still justifying her own surgery, and may have given up sex because of pain and discomfort resulting from the surgery. You may never find out.) If she is not listening I suggest that any time she raises the subject again, you simply ignore what she says about having surgery, if necessary turning aways from her and even walking out of the room. You could also just change the subject. Don't even engage with her on the subject.

If that doesn't work, write her a letter. She has no right to harass you. You are your own person.

You will probably need to find all your own words to say these things to her. Don't raise your voice, speak slowly and deliberately, and with love. It would be a hard woman who would not respond to this.

Hope these suggestions are helpful.

Cheers

Louise

Hi Louise,

Thanks for your comments. I'm not actually postpartum, as my last birth was 9 years ago! Sorry for any misunderstanding. I'm amazed it's taken this long for any prolapse problems to show up. I suppose everyone's different.

Regarding m-i-l, she's very sweet and is really concerned for me. The problem is that she's of the generation who always thought 'doctor knows best' so she assumes surgery is the only option. I'll try to have a quiet chat with her this week. The thing is, although she recommends surgery, years after she had her op she still carries spare underwear around in case she has an accident!

Thanks for your suggestions re how to speak to her. I'll certainly bear them in mind!

Beejay

Women are not being completely honest about surgery anyhow...
I have a great aunt who had a "bladder tack up" at around 50.
I don't know what it really means. This last year she is in her 80's and had to have a re-surgery--don't know what kind at all...
she is a widow and also suffers from lukemia and apparently the situation became "unlivable"--her bladder probably had exited her body...I think--no disclusure so can only guess.
My mom keeps saying "everything is fine". I finally said we don't know anything about her situation mom. Fine might have been that the first surgery meant no more sex. Might have meant a 100 different things. her last surgery might have been they shut her vagina up...and that would be fine if you are in your 80's a widow and etc. No more sex would not be fine for me. I am 43 and the mother of 5 children 7 including steps and married and in love with my husband.

I told my mom since there has not been any communication at all about anything real here there is no reason to say she was fine after the first surgery. Fine = what??? Until there is real dislosure about what was EXACTLY done and what was life like before and after, I do not take anything anyone says SERIOUSLY...they are not seriously discussing anything!

Sorry Beejay, I went and searched your previous posts, then read the search results wrongly, what a dork!

Yeah, it really is hard when somebody is only wanting all the best for you. I'm sure you'll handle it just fine.

L

Hi Therese

Yes, I agree with you. Unfortunately those older generations of women seem to be inherently unable to even utter the word "vagina", let alone be honest about how their body has been affected. Therefore they shut themselves out of finding out what the truth really is, even if many of them have had satisfactory results from surgery. It is like having a discussion with a person who is a career lier. It is not even worth talking with them as the words coming out have no meaning if you don't know whether they are true or not.

I just feel really sad for them, being convinced by their own possible lies. It really is a form of self-abuse, that seems to stem from their obsession with keeping up appearances. And they are lovely little old ladies who just don't want to offend anybody, and if it is the truth that has to suffer, well that's too bad!

I don't think our generation will be like that somehow. I hope not, anyway.

Cheers

Louise

Some of us do talk about our "vaginas",and how our bodies are affected by our prolapses.
I find some younger women don't want to hear about such things from older people and look at you as if you are a liar or from Mars or maybe Venus!
Older woman do talk about such things to their close friends but not everyone is comfortable discussing intimate details with others no matter what their ages.
On this forum you can discuss these matters fairly anonymously.
A lot of older women I know who would discuss their vaginas with others don't have computors and are not interested in getting on the internet.
Just my two centsa worth again.
Regards to all,
Flora

I guess for me the problem isn't my great aunt--what she had done or not--it is my mom using her as an example to me...She is a lousy example for me. She has never disclosed to my mom what was done at all except to say it involved the bladder and that the situation became "unlivable"...Also she is TWICE my age and is not at all sexually active...

People do this ALL the time! Use someone else as an example for you.
SO and so had her uterus removed and said it was the best thing she ever did since changing her hair color to red...So and so had a C-section and was up and running marathons in 10 minutes--no big deal.
Like we are all the same and so and so's 2 minute conversation to a stranger in a bathroom is like the voice of G*d for me to hear...

Normally this conversation intimidates me. I spend the next day or week wondering that I am just a chicken and maybe I should go in for the full treatment and I would be "fine"...

This last time I basically told my mom she has told me absolutely ZERO about what happened to my great aunt and that we have no idea about anything except that she did have a surgery and says she is fine. Thank goodness! For me and my situation her experience means nothing because she told mom nothing and we know nothing. Her "fine" could = a horror for me...Hopefully I will not have her thrown in my face again...ha! You have to analyze what the other is actually saying you know? I realized I just accepted what was said without there being any information in the conversation at all!

Unless the conversation includes in depth medical records correctly translated and in depth info on symptoms, activity, sexuality etc. these stories are useless for any of us...

Young women do the same things too Flora...so unless a person is willing to disclose ALL to the other they may as well keep all advice medical to themselves...that is why this place is actually helpful...we do disclose to each other--I think most of us do pretty honestly.

It is really hard sometimes to stick to what you know is right for you when family are urging you to have it done. My dd thought I should have the surgery but my instincts told me it would be wrong for me. I directed her attention to this web site and she agreed that maybe it wasn't the solution for me. When your mother visits you, you should get her to read some of the posts on this site especially the horror stories on the thread "had rectocele and cystocele surgery 5 weeks age."
Stick to what your instincts tell you and you usually won't go wrong.
Good luck.
Flora

my mil had a hysterectomy many years ago. until recently, all we knew was that she had a 'procedure'. now she's 'fine'. whatever that means. mil never complains about physical ailments, so for all I know she's in chronic pain. but maybe that's still ok for her.
I think you're right, therese, so-and-so's experience has little bearing on what will be best for you.
everyone's got their own belief system, level of pain tolerence, ability and /or desire to try to live with these types of things or deal with them naturally. that on top of the specifics of medical history ensures that no two cases are alike.
when people try the 'you should do what so and so did' thing on me I just smile and thank them for their concern. and file their comments in the 'don't let it get to you' section of my brain.