Having Another Baby

You hafta weigh things up (But saying that my Gynae said to me that if he checked all women who had had a baby - If he wasnt arrested lol - He would fine 90% of them have some degree of prolapse)

I got my prolapse in my first traumatic birth with forceps - I went on to have two more kids before even noticing it.

My Gynae also said to me - the damage is done - Another birth if simple and uneventful - Would not change things

Listen to your heart :-) Get into posture - I am sure all will be well as alot of women on here have had babies with no problems

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
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While you can't predict the future I imagine your next birth would be very different- you know so much more about your condition and how to manage it.
I have had 3 births and I think it was the 3rd one that made my prolapse more noticeable- but I tore badly all 3 times- we will go on to have a fourth and next time I am just going to refuse to tear!
(as to my history I had 2 birthing center births and 1 home birth- a hour long pushing phase for the first. I had no urge to push and was coached by the midwife to do so - but 10 min max for the second two with a strong urge - and only 3 or 4 pushes- I consider all the births to be gentle and tried very hard not to tear-warm oil massages etc....).
No pregnancy is not more difficult physically- but I imagine I will worry a little more next time and obsess any time I feel heavy (felt that with all 3 but I know it will bug me next time around).
No you don't need bed rest and probably it would be "bad" for your body.
Yes you can wear a pessary- I haven't worn one but I know you can.

If you want more children do not let this hold you back. If you feel great now and don't want to chance it- then don't do it- because you can never go back.
SO many women sacrifice so much to have babies- I would cut off my own leg to have the ones I have now but probably not to have another one...

I have not delivered yet (I am 33 weeks pregnant with my second) but my doctor said the same thing about the first baby paving the way for the rest. I wouldn't say my prolapses (all three) are that bad. None of them come outside my body but I am very uncomfortable with them. So I figure I can only get better after this one......other women have had improvements after other births. This time I am going with a completely different experience. I have a midwife and I will listen to my body and not lay on my back pushing for two hours!! My midwife is very supportive and I am actually looking forward to the experience this time. My doctor said I could get a pessary while pregnant however they seem to be behind the times here. He said I can't have sex with it etc. so I decided to just deal with the extra pressure. Yes this pregnancy was more difficult with my prolapses. But everyone's experience is different. Some women reported feeling better while pregnant?? All I can say is I would never personally let prolapse stop me from having more children (since I know it is still physically possible). These stupid prolapses have impacted my life enough. I am not letting them control everything.

my experience was that everything was much better during pg (except for the last few weeks). I have cystocele, mild rectocele and some days my uterus is low too.
I didn't need to be in bed unless I was pg-related tired. no different than the pre-prolapse pg's
never wore a pessary.

the decision to have another child is such a major one. In a way its similar to choosing surgery in that you have to weigh risks/benefits and the only one who can do that is you. no one else is in the same situation as you are, with the same level of tolerance for the risk end. and there are no guarantees.
my prolapses are no worse after my last baby (he's number four), but I had decided that worsening the prolapses was a risk I was willing to take. for me, I couldn't risk not having the baby I knew in my heart was waiting to join us.

good luck in making your decision

It's such a personal decision, and no none knows what's right for you and your family except you and your husband. Perhaps you can try to imagine yourself in 10 years, first, having made the decision to not have more children. See how that feels to you. Or, alternatively, having had another child (or children). How each feels in your imagination may give you some clue as to your leaning in the matter. Not inconsequentially, you may also consider the impact on your child of having or not having a sibling. Trust your inner wisdom, the part that is without fear.

Marie

Ann,

My last child was born when my first child was fourteen. She was a surprise package. I was 34, and my husband was against it from the beginning. He did not support the pregnancy; in fact he refused to speak to me the entire nine months. All the odds were against me. I was sick throughout the entire pregnancy, miserable and unhappy.

Time passes

Anne has been the most wonderful child, a great beauty, a creative wonder, talented in every way, artistic, musical, poetic, and joyful. She played in the junior philharmonic orchestra at 15, can sing off a page, has been a professional chef in the classiest restaurant in my city working her way through college since she was 17. She speaks three languages: French, Arabic and English and has a degree in Political Science with a focus on Middle Eastern Studies. She's 22 and one of my dearest friends because she's kind, sincere, and affectionate.

If anyone were to look back at the beginning they would probably say one thing and later to say another. You can't judge a book by it's cover. I'd say, no matter what the difficulties now, go for it. Who knows what science will come up with for you in five years. In the meantime, you will enjoy another life who will undoubtedly add to your own in so many many ways.

God bless you and all you do.

Judy

Change what you can change; be happy with what you cannot.

Hi Ann,

I just wanted to let you know that I am going through exactly the same thing as you and have posted similarly over the past few months.

It's such a difficult decision, and like everyone's said, only you can decide and weigh up the pros and cons in the end.

Realistically, I know that having another baby is likely to make my POP a little worse (I have all three at I guess you'd say a stage 2). But every time I consider not having another child I can't settle in my heart, and I guess that's the only way to decide. Can you handle it being a bit worse or would it be harder to handle not having another baby? Either decision is okay, because what's important is what's right for you.

I know it's not an easy question. Last month I got really depressed because I wasn't pregnant yet. Not because I think it will be hard to get pregnant (after all, it was only our first attempt at trying), but because I have to think all over again about whether it's worth my health being affected further. But, I'm still trying for number two because every time I think I shouldn't risk it I just get a real regret, and sadness happening already - so I know having another baby is more important to me than worse health.

Hope it helps a little to hear that others have gone through the same thing! It certainly helped me to read your post because I don't feel as alone in it all.