thanks louise and granola mom.

I know its not great for the prolapse, but I hold my little one. he's 3 mo and about 15 lb, and you're right, there's just something about the rocking you can do while standing. I sit whenever I can, pass him off to dh when I can, and he does spend more time on the floor at this age than my older kids did, but still I hold him alot. I find wearing him high on my chest is easier on the prolapse than when I hold him (I tend to brace my arm on my waist and it pushes everything down). do you have a baby carrier? I just got a didymous wrap and I love love love it. am looking into a mei tai too.
infancy is so short and fleeting, before you know it these little ones will want to be off and running. I will have the rest of my life to obsess over the prolapse.

I think yes, some women who've improved to the degree to which they no longer think about their prolapse leave the site. I stick around because I have no life, lol. no seriously, this place was a lifesaver for me, I like to give back. and I'm still learning from everyone here.

regarding alcohol, I don't know anything about that. I stopped indulging in alcohol and caffeine shortly after I joined this site (2.5 years or so) for reasons not related to prolapse.
I also notice an empty bladder alleviates symptoms, so empty frequently! please DO stay hydrated especially if you get uti symptoms. I just got over a really nasty uti (went to my kidney) and don't want to do that ever again.

as far as suing the doctor, I hear where your dh is coming from, but I doubt you have much of a case. anger and wanting to blame someone, something is all part of the process. it gets better, but you have to go through it first. I'm sorry.

My babe was 3 1/2 weeks old when I prolapsed, and lifting the water filter made things sag! I could not imagine how I would hold a 6 month old babe ever. I spent all the time I could lying in bed, playing, feeding, and resting (not so easy with an older one, but I managed!), letting my body heal.

And now I have been ever reminded of the wonders of the body, and how we strengthen as we grow. I carried him in a wrap sling until he was about 6 months old, at which point I felt it too much so have mostly stopped. But i carry him in my arms, and my body adjusts with him. sometimes he grows faster than I do, and I feel things more for a few days till it all catches up.

I understand the anger. I think many of us can look at our stories and wonder if we had done things differently... But then we come to a play of accepting that this is where we are at, and becoming wiser. Hopefully our stories will help the women around us.

The healing you can experience is amazing. The posture is miraculous. I have also found a lot of help from physio, accupuncture, and homeopathy, and calmness from Reiki. The accupuncture really helped with the UTI like symptoms.

So have faith--and hold your baby. They are only little once, and I figure that in a few years when he no longer is in my arms I will have even more healing.

Hi Jsnyc

I am guessing that the "nyc' bit of your username means that you are in NYC. I can relate to your comments about Memorial Day weekend. We actually flew out of JFK on the Friday evening on our way back to Australia. Yes indeed, every man and his dog was either coming in or going out of NYC, no doubt all the obstetricians in amongst them!!

All I can say as a 54 year old is that you are in a very short part of your life at the moment, and it will take some time, probably many months, for your vagina and all your pelvic organs to return to some semblance of where they were before. Realistically you do need to lift your baby and do other stuff as well. I would think that the damage you could do with all this normal stuff would be miniscule compared to the damage already done. Remember that you have been given a body structure that is perfectly designed to carry babes in arms, humans being one of the few species where the young cannot walk until about 12 months of age. Sure, you have an injury, but it will get better (maybe not prefect) all by itself. Many Mums find that it takes over 12 months before they really feel normal again.

You now know what you can do in the way of posture, diet, clothing, exercise etc to help it to 'not get worse' and to look after your body from now on. All you can do is do your best with these techniques over the next few months, until baby is more mobile. Be wary of doing too much lying around when not feeding. I would think that Christine's dance workout would be useful, but walking (in posture of course) is very good for jiggling things back to where they should be and keeping all the muscles in your pelvic area working. Uphill is great, but of course you need to come down the other side as well! It is also very good for clearing the cobwebs out of your brain, and using up adrenaline! Make sure that you have a pram, but particularly a stroller that will take heavy duty work. They are very useful pieces of equipment, and can double as a bag trolley, shopping trolley or wheelbarrow at a pinch, before being taken over by school aged boys as a formula 1 racing car with the hapless dog or stuffed toy strapped in as driver.

Granolamom has given you some ideas to go on with from the perspective of an experienced Mom who has a babe herself. Here are some of the things I remember doing, which I think helped (in no particular order).

1 Lumbar support pillow when sitting feeding. Feed lying down when you can, or for variety (or for getting the little darling to sleep! It works, and they do get over it once a good book becomes more interesting than your boobs!)

2 Stool or correct height chair in front of change table so you can sit properly instead of leaning over the change table. You could also try kneeling on the floor and bend over from the hips. When you are kneeling you have a wider base so you feel more stable.

3 Have a big mug of water beside you whenever you feed baby.

4 Use several small nappy buckets instead of a big one. In fact break all heavy loads down into smaller loads for carrying. More trips out to the car to bring in shopping means more whole body exercise.

5 A baby sling like Granolamom suggested is great for being able to get on with doing things with both hands when you really need to, but be sensible about how much time you use it. The good thing about a sling is that it enables you to carry baby centrally so that you are not loaded up on one side all the time.

6 Recognising that your pelvic floor is not actually like a trapdoor in a floor when your posture is correct. It is more like a sloping door with very little vertical load on it. It is more like a stabiliser at the back. That is why it is important to do some Kegals to just get those muscles active again and keep them that way (active sex will do the same job about as effectively, probably better, but I am biased, liking a good bonk much more than repeatedly puckering and lifting my sex bits in the privacy of my own kitchen! ;-) ). Just don't do too many or they will get tired and sag :-( which rather defeats the purpose. And Kegals will not improve prolapse, they will only help with controlling your bladder and making sex more 'sensational' (literally) for both of you.

7 Get a washing trolley if you hang your washing out. And a sturdy washer stand if you have a frontloading washing machine (lifts the door up about 30cm higher so you don't need to bend so far to unload heavy washing)

8 Stand with your feet well apart when washing up so you don't have to bend over the sink; that's if DH is not doing it anyway!

Bending from the waist to do *anything* is a killer because it makes your pelvic floor horizontal instead of diagonal and will send intraabdominal forces straight down into those little muscles that were never designed for those loads. Always bend from the hip joints and consciously allow your belly to remain loose. This is often really hard after all those years of holding the tummy in, but is very important because it allows your pelvic organs their safest position (forward of the pubic bone) when under load. If necessary, bend right over and get them locked in position before you lift, cough, sneeze etc. Always lift with your butt in the air and your knees bent and weight well forward, so you can lift with your thighs, then straighten up your back.

You will get the feeling of when you are doing anything right. Once you are used to it, it becomes second nature and you can work out how to do almost anything without stressing your pelvic floor. If you can't work out how to do it right, don't do it. Wait for DH or some other strong person. Men love to be useful at helping women do things we are 'too weak' to do. ;-) It really grates on me, but it works. Hope these suggestions are useful.

Cheers

Louise

those are such helpful thoughts, and such good reminders. thanks for the thoughts on lifting from the hips. I think i've been getting lazy about that one lately...a good reminder!
I for one am VERY careful about what I lift, as other than my babe I've decided not to lift things, though slowly I notice myself liting slightly heavier things without feeling it, as Inaturally grow stronger. I hang the laundry out in tiny loads (more walking!), only buy what fits under the buggy and that I can easily push, and that's it.
My partner is getting more exercise, and my friends are wonderful about carrying things for me. Yes, I have to wake baby up when he falls asleep in the car as lifting him the car seat if definately not good for me...but other than that, it has little impact. For a while I got heavy groceries delivered which was great on so many fronts...

I realized this really made me look at what is crucial in my life, and cut out the rest. Add to that a baby who barely sleeps, which ensures that I can't over do it as I don't have time to, and wow has life changed. I used to do everything. Now, well, we are all fed, in clean clothes, and I am becoming a champion lego builder... what else really matters???

Hi Jsync

You are spot on. Babies do change your priorities, and that's probably the way it will be for a while. If you can accept that you are well on the way to being a happy Mum! I have yet to see unironed clothes sitting in the corner complaining. They just sit there. I have yet to see a disorganised cupboard complaining. They just sit there too.

In a few months when you have a crawler you can add clean floors to the list of desirable outcomes, but that can wait. Soundsl ike you are going really well.

Cheers

Louise