HOLDING THE BABY

Submitted by Christine on August 10, 2007 - 12:04pm
Body: 

Hi All,

Just want to add to the earlier discussion about holding and carrying infants. Actually, we are beginning to learn about how to create video on the website and it’s *possible* that we may be able to put up a little demo on this subject in the near future.

This is a subject close to my heart because (1) I believe all mothers who can need to hold and carry their babies and (2) I have a very big six month old grandchild (and a very severe prolapse) that I lift, hold, and carry all the time with no problem.

If you think about it, many women have no prolapse issues during pregnancy, right? And they are carrying 20 and 30 extra pounds out front of baby, fluid, and placenta. The idea that “the weight of the pregnancy caused my prolapse” is erroneous in normal anatomy because the weight of the gravid uterus is at right angles to the flattened vaginal walls.

AFTER DELIVERY THE FEMALE BODY STILL HAS THE SAME BASIC GEOMETRY.

This shape needs to be upheld so that the uterus, bladder, and colon are being held out front (at right angle to the pelvic outlet) and the vagina can flatten naturally.

The beauty of the female form is such that we can create this same geometry by pulling up throughout the chest, neck and head so that we look curvaceous and slim instead of pregnant, yet pressures are still being transmitted out front.

The wonder of this form (and proven in scientific studies) is that in normal anatomy, the more weight that is added from above, the more the vagina flattens against the pressure.

When holding our babes, we can accentuate the posture by pushing both the belly and butt out. This creates the greatest angle possible between the abdominal wall and pelvis. Intraabdominal pressure is held out in front over the widely arched pubic bones while the vaginal walls are safely flattened one atop the other at the back of the pelvis.

The baby can be carried in front, shifted from hip to hip, or carried high on the back when they are able to sit up. I wrapped myself and my 20 lb. granddaughter (facing out in front) in a shawl and walked all over town the other day and my prolapse felt all the better for it. Our bodies are made to do this and they carried more than this much weight all day long during the latter months of our pregnancy.

I do notice I am constantly pulling up throughout my head and neck when I’m holding her. I wonder if some of the difficulty being experienced by new mothers with regard to carrying their babies is lack of strength in the shoulder girdle. The shoulders should remain pulled down (not back) while the head and neck are stretched long by slightly tucking the chin.

Baby slings are a must and the posture is essential for carrying your baby.

Our natural anatomy is built for the strength and endurance required of motherhood. Trust your body!

Christine

alemama

August 10, 2007 - 12:38pm

It is just that we are making big ole babies now. I have always carried my babies- but this time around I am thrilled that the baby (10 months) is finally walking. He weighs 25 lbs (which is as much as my 3 year old) and is still gaining. I have carried my babies well into toddlerhood and just this morning I walked around the store for an hour with my baby strapped to my back sound asleep. I know we are made to carry our babies but I think when they learn to walk it is a natural time to start letting them. and I truly feel better when I don't carry around a huge baby all day.

Christine

August 10, 2007 - 1:00pm

It’s important though that women understand we have a pelvic architecture made for heavy lifting out in front (pregnancy and infant-holding). We just need to live in that shape.

So true that it’s a great relief when they become mobile. But it’s so sweet to hold them. At the other end of the spectrum, I remember the last time I picked up my son (not that I did this regularly) – I think he was around 9 and I knew it would be one of the last. :'-/

jsnyc

August 10, 2007 - 2:31pm

js
thanks for responding. last night was a good example, because when they are little..not only am i carrying them in the day, but i am up with them much of the night...lifting, carrying, jiggling, swinging and at the same time feeling like i am desperately holding in the vagina so that my bladder doesn't fall out. i can't imagine that 24 hours of gravity is helpful to this postpartum healing. i also don't totally understand the posture you described....maybe due to sleep deprivation. picture would help. is that possible. j

Christine

August 10, 2007 - 2:58pm

Check out descriptions of the posture in the FAQ section on the homepage.

I imagine you sort of walking around in permanent kegel mode with your tailbone tucked under trying to hold it all in.

The miraculous thing is when we lift the tailbone and relax the belly (pull it up, not in, by lifting the chest) the organs become held over their natural floor – the pubic bones that come together underneath us like the straps of a saddle. The organs become perpendicular to the pelvic outlet and cannot prolapse further. Bit by bit, the pelvic fascia realigns and you may feel your prolapse symptoms reverse somewhat. Go ahead and gently pull up your pelvic wall muscles as you move about, but in time you will see that the posture itself tightens those muscles so you can just relax into it.

granolamom

August 12, 2007 - 7:49am

thanks for your insights on this one, christine

I personally feel a real NEED to hold my baby. of course when I have to get something done and he's content to be on the floor I'm happy to put him down for a bit, but I need to have him close still.

I completely agree, that part of trouble arises when the shoulder girdle is weak, and shoulders are hunched over while holding a baby.
that's why I got a new baby carrier, a wrap style in which I can tie him onto my chest. I do find that it almost forces me to elongate my neck, because I am compelled to kiss the top of his head constantly and the only way to do that is to tuck my chin.

maybe when I get around to it, I will have dh take a pic of me & g-baby in our new wrap and email it around

ah, all this talk makes me want to go wake him now

kiki

August 13, 2007 - 6:51am

This will reinspire me to do some more baby wearing. I was wearing him last night in the wrap, high up and tight, but after a while feel pain in the pelvic region, way at the base...will try exagerating teh posture even more...
But do people think once they are big the back is better?
(though you can't kiss them there! i agree, slings are made for baby kissing...)

I carried no. 1 on the hip till he was about 30lb, but it really threw me out of alignment (compounded with other back/neck problems) and even from day 1 this time the ring sling hurt, so that is out sadly. I am for some reason so nervous about carrying on the back... I think I just generally feel so great lately I am afraid of taking a step back!!!

ah, the joys of the mind...

zoeUK

August 13, 2007 - 8:51am

Hey Ladies,

I am so glad for this post Christine as my 10 week old son is already almost 15lbs (yikes!)

As some of you regulars may know, I am very knew to all of this. I was therefore very encouraged to realise that whenever I pick up my son I have been automatically /instinctively(?) exagerating the posture by sticking my bum and tum out. I have found that this and holding him as close as is humanly possible to my body means that the feeling of pressure in my pelvic region is greatly lessened.

I am also very encouraged to read Christine of your shopping trip with 20lb grandchild up close...The fact that you felt 'better' for it spurs me on no end. I am so thankful I found this site - I am feeling better all the time - thank you thank you thank you all :-)

P.S...
Christine if you need any help with video / putting on your site / creating the right format etc. please give me a shout as I do this for a living (multimedia design and video production) I would love to help in any way possible as you have helped me so much!

Zoe x

I have a beautiful 10 wk old baby boy and a wonderful 2 and a half yr old daughter who make it all worth while :-)

Christine

August 13, 2007 - 11:23am

Thank you Zoe!! We may take you up on your offer! :)

rosewood

August 23, 2007 - 1:16am

I am so grateful for your insights on this. Thank you, thank you, thank you. There is so much fear out there about prolapse. My youngest is now 28 months. I discovered prolapse when he was 7 months old. It was excruciating. The most difficult part was the fact that I couldn't carry him as much as I was used to. I was crushed. But, we managed. I was determined. And, when he was a year old, I carried him in the Ergo on the back on a long hike, and my strength was renewed. I must say, it was easier when he began walking, but it wasn't until he was almost 17 months old. I long to have another, and wonder, would I be able to carry him or her like I've been able with the others. I see the benefit to them in their overall development. My son, carried the most, is just about the happiest little guy I could ever imagine. I adore him. I'm biased, I know. Again, thank you for taking the time to make such a difference.

Marie

Christine

August 24, 2007 - 12:30pm

...I want to respond to you and will as soon as I have a free moment...probably tomorrow! :-)

granolamom

August 24, 2007 - 4:53pm

marie...I want to share my experience thus far..

I struggled with the decision to have baby number four, the possibility that I wouldn't be able to carry him around like his siblings weighed heavily on my heart.
I decided he would be ok if I didn't wear him around the house, he'd be ok in the stroller, in the swing, in the baby seat,etc

HA

as much as we say its all about the baby, its not. *I* was not ok with him in the stroller, swing or seat. *I* need to hold or wear my baby lots and lots. and I do. he's a chunky little thing and so far so good. I try to stay in posture and rest when I can.

but ooooh I love babies, so have another!
ok, I'll shut up now and mind my own business

rosewood

August 25, 2007 - 11:17pm

I've been the SAME about swings, strollers, baby seats, etc. Ah, if it were only just my decision . . . send us prayers for wisdom about what's best for our family. Glad to be here.

Marie

granolamom

August 26, 2007 - 8:49am

Marie, sending prayers on that note your way!

may G-d fill the requests of your heart for the best