Why I made the choice to have surgery

You are a very strong woman to be so open on here about this but something you said rang bells in my head...

You said ''But I want everything fixed at one time so hopefully things don’t get that bad and I don’t ever need surgery again''

Can I just tell you that if you have the surgery there is a Very very good chance you will need further surgeries every 3-5years.

I do not want to frighten you - I am probably one of the most open and honest and sometimes that does me a dis-service. But you need to know everything there is to know before your surgery!

If you want to go ahead with it - That is your choice and yours alone and I wanna say I wish you the best in the world ((HUGS))

You have been through alot and I would only wish you good things. It is only the facts that we have seen of oh so very many women having a repair of the repair of the repair - Over and over again - I believe that is what makes some of us see that surgery is not a true fix.

I do not want to be rude in any way but have you had counselling? I have not been through anything at all like you but there is damage - emotional damage - Done to me in my past and finding the right counsellor helped me to feel strong inside again. Along with my now partner.

I come to a question... If the cystocele and rectocele are not bad enough to need the surgery yet - Why do it now? I know you wanna get it all done in one single operation as the labiaplasty - But if it is not needed could you not have the labiaplasty and go back if/when this became a real problem?

I can feel in my belly the emotional pain you carry - But I so wanna give you a hug and tell you that no matter what surgery you have to 'fix' this - The only thing that will fix it is time and possibly counselling.

There is a book out there - About healing from sexual abuse - I cant remember it's name now - I will find out if you like. Even though I am not sure this book is geared towards rape etc.

I do not think that anyone would look down on you in any way for choosing this route. But you have to understand that this one fixit - Will very likely not be just one fixit. There are so many websites out there that will tell you how fantastic their surgery was. Then when you read their signatures (below their name) It lists nearly every year a fix of the previous fix and they say a few months on 'holding well so far' etc.

You are a very strong woman to be able to open your heart and soul on here I applaud you for that!

If I was being honest - Before I met my now partner I always thought I was damaged goods. Not because I was raped or anything - But emotionally damaged and stuff. If your partner can hold you up through this and says he thinks you are fine down there - A scar is like a book, a journey you have been through. Each scar telling a story of that which you have faced and won against! And YOU have survived. There is a song out there about scars and being like marks of what you have been through. This song speaks to me as I am covered in them! Not just fron surgeries I have recently had for Hernia repair. But I have scars, mainly because I always took out pain on myself ya know.
Its called 'I bruise easily' by Natasha Bedingfield - Listen to it - I can email you it if you want it says...

My skin is like a map of where my heart has been - And I cant hide the marks but its not a negative thing... etc

These things bruise your soul (OK I am rambling now - I do that alot lol) If your body is damaged but not in need of this surgery - Yes you may need Labiaplasty (Not sure what that is at present will look it up) But if you do not need this invasive surgery I implore you to consider alternatives if all you want is a one-Op fix... This may not be it.

BUT...

I will reiterate and say again after my babble-a-thon (sorry) that to have surgery or not to have surgery is comletely up to you. If you go in with your eyes open knowing all the pitfalls that may or may not be - Then I would wish you well and hope that you would tell us here how it goes and we can be of an emotional help I would hope afer surgery.

You are a very strong woman I will say again. You did survive. Many people would crumble and fall but you have survived and you have moved on and you are strong! Never forget how strong you are!

Sorry for all that babble up there - If itmeans nothing to you just ignore it. If only one word helps then I am glad I babbled :)

Have you tried Posture? It really helped me with the incontinence thing. And the pressure.

But again - I am babbling - I really wish you only the best and will be thinking of you on that day and sending good vibes your way. Remember - Even if you changed your mind at the last mnute - They woul change the surgery to suit YOUR needs. And it is YOU who is most important in this. Do whatever is right for YOU. Just YOU ok...

((((HUGS))))

Email me if you wanna babble :-)

(All typos above done by an Alien being - Not me) ;-)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

Thanks for answering my questions - even though there is no saying your prolapse problems would get worse - Mine have actually gotbetter through this.

I sayyou are strng because you ARE. Leaving your house or not makes no difference you have emotionally somehow managed to get through this with your sanity obviously from your words intact :-)
His going to jail or not does not make you weak - KNOW THAT.

You are strong - :-)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

i just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you and all that you have been through. i can't even imagine the pain that you have suffered physically and mentally. i am so happy that yu have such a supportive SO. i am so relieved by that. i am one of the newer ones on this forum so can't say to you that things could get better by posture etc. in fact i have wanted to be fixed, and i have only been postpartum for 13 weeks...so i can only imagine how you feel. i also understand how afraid you must be. i think that having a vaginal surgery in some ways will be another type of trauma in itself, and i am concerned about any post traumatic stress you may experience from it. i think you would benefit from having a therapist for your surgical recovery...thats my two cents. i know that just having a forceps delivery and episiotomy made me feel sort of maimed, and although i am now not totally normal down there...i know that surgery can't make it what it use to be. i have time on my side....and you sound like you have had plenty of time to think about this.
i wish yu so much luck and hope you will let us know how you are....

It took a lot of courage for you to share your story with us. It's really good and mentally very healthy to be able to get painful things off your chest. I am so sorry for what you have gone through.

I wish you the very best of luck in whatever you decide.

Wishing you peace.

- Lilly Anne

Hi Gudch1

You have endured a lot. I just want to give you a hug and some reasurance that you don't have to do this surgical thing. I just picked up in one of your answers that "The longer I wait the worse it will get, having it corrected sooner rather than later will increase the chances of a successful surgery (less to repair)". I am just wondering who told you that? It is not necessarily the case.

The reason that I ask is that three years ago I was advised to have repairs for a cystocele, rectocele and prolapsed uterus. My family doctor said I should have surgery within 12 months, as it would only get worse and I would then need more complicated surgery if I left it any longer. That scared the s**t out of me!

I went to a urogynaecologist who did an examination and gave me a list of repair procedures which would involve removing my uterus and suturing my bladder(?) onto the uterus ligaments that remained. He would also use a tape to support the neck of my bladder. I tuned out at that point, and said "No thankyou. There is nothing wrong with my uterus, and I do not want scars in my vagina". I came home and continued the Wholewoman posture, modified my clothes so they didn't compress my abdomen, and amended my diet to ensure that I didn't have to strain to use my bowels. Three years later my prolapses are hardly noticable, except before a period, and my incontinence is no worse. I have learned some great techniques for fully emptying my bladder, and I no longer get thrush and urinary tract infections. Life is good. I still have prolapses, and always will I suppose, but they don't bother me. I know they will not get worse in the short term, so I have escaped the scalpel. I may yet have surgery at some time in the future, but the prospect of scarring in my vagina and losing my uterus, which puts my newly discovered sexuality at risk, and the risk that my intestines may prolapse into the space left by my uterus, and I may be left unable to empty my bowel or bladder, fills me with dread at the prospect. My mother is 95. I am 54. I have a lot of years ahead of me.

Please don't do this to yourself. It can be a Pandora's Box of horrors. You don't need more horrors. I am so filled with sadness when women come to the Forum after having surgery and tell of the unexpected problems they are experiencing after surgery. There is really nothing that can be done, except more surgery, which then causes more damage to natural structures in the pelvic area.

Surgery may lift your bladder and urethra, and prevent that particular bit of bowel from bulging into your vagina, but it will also destroy the natural supports that are currently preventing further prolapse in your pelvis (you said your prolapses are not major), and possibly give you more prolapses to worry about in a short time. Surgery does not fix prolapse. Nothing does, but it can be managed without surgery so that you don't have to damage your body further. Just give it a try, and see what you can do for yourself, not relying on luck and goodwill of a reluctant surgeon. Sue is right. You are so strong to have come through all this. You have nothing to prove to anybody.

Best wishes

Louise

Can you turn on your email function in your profile please. If you wanna do this - You should go to one of the sites of people who have already doneit. There are a couple about but one comes to mind that would be a good read and probably be of more help for you to talk to as all there have had surgery. - Contact me and I will let you know where it is.

Again - I wish you well you are string (Yes you are) And whatever yu choose to do I wish you the best :-)

Btw - Its things like this that made us all so scared of surgery - Signatures below their names of the fix of the fix of the fix of another fix... But if this is what you want to do - Then it would help you to go to a place where they can tell you more about the surgeries you are having and recovery etc etc

*Her signature says*
Four cystocele repairs, five rectocele repairs, bowel resection, rectal constriction release, proctoplasty

Good luck and please let us know how you go on :-)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

you're a brave woman to bare your soul like that
I am so sorry for all you have been through
I pray the surgery is all you hope it to be, and ends this painful chapter for you.
sending healing and peaceful vibes your way

I second everything Granolamom says for you gudch!!

I truly believe that you are making the right decision for yourself after much deliberation. I have never been where you are and so I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. That is not to say that I don't strongly care and empathise of course!

I wish you everything good that life has to offer, and I hope that you heal fast and well!

Love Michelle xxxx

I hope the surgery turns out very well and I am so sorry for what has happened to you in the past but out of all the posts here about why someone chooses surgery I have to think that for me this post will be the one that will prevent me from choosing surgery the most...besides all the research Christine has done and I have read.

For me it is an excellent example of making a decision that could be life altering for emotional reasons...when even the Dr says you are putting too much emphasis on this surgery and it's outcome for you I think it is a real wake up call for all of us...

Sometimes we have to so no to our emotions. We as women have strong emotions and we are often informed by them in many positive ways but there are times they really get in our way and can lead us into situations that have life long harmful effects...just as a man needs to sometimes let go of his unemotional tendencies in life to live more fully, we have to as women also do the same in the opposite direction. If Christine had stayed with hers when she first started out on her prolapse journey--this place wouldn't exist. She explains that her first reaction was like most of us...wanted to stay in bed and hide...

I think the saddest part of your post is when you say the Dr and your SO both say that you appear to them to be "normal" and they seem to find nothing "wrong" with your vagina yet you do not trust their opinions and believe the surgery will make you believe that once and for all. I hope that that happens for you but I don't see how it will...I mean you will have more scars after the surgery--not less...

I have a little experience in the opposite direction also. My husband has a condition called peyronies disease. It is a bending of the penis. His is minor and he has had some improvement from the original way it first presented--but it caused him a great deal of distress and it interfered with his self concept also although it never bothered me at all--why would it? He is my husband and much more than the sum of his parts!! Bending a little or not!! But it definately changed our sex life because he thought it "should" bother me--had to bother me and then it made him close up and push me away.
Not a great few years...
It is so wierd that we both have gone through these strange situations...but it has helped I think to understand and care a little more.

I hope the very best for you but I can't help but feel very sad.
This post has definately made me think a lot and has stayed in my mind and I am so sorry for the violence you experienced. I have not experienced it to the level you have but I think I have a lot of the same emotional struggles from the violence and pain I have had in my life and it is so very hard to recover from...to accept love and say no to the negative feelings you end up with after being hurt. Nothing I have accomplished fully myself--so I am not saying I am an example for you at all! But I know the pull of the feelings and battling them--even if you don't always "win" the battle has to go on and I think for me at least it will always be a battle.

Thank you for the post and I hope you will let us know how you are.

Therese

Please try to make your posts make sense?

I doubt people are too afraid to ask questions here as we are all very open and candid people.

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

...and others I have read on here (And I have been here for years) Have been very open.

There is no need for sarcasm. I just do not understand why you tell us about spam and if people email you off list in a personal way - why not keep it personal?

But - feel free to post updates - There will be many people who will be interested in reading - Kinda like a diary etc... Especially if you are 100% open if you choose to have surgery or whatever - Then saying every little thing about it afterwards will help people in many ways...

Btw Candid means - frank; outspoken; open and sincere... Hence being Candid meaning to be totally open and sincere ;)
Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

RIDICULOUS statement...sorry.
How can anyone be impartial about their flippin' sexuality and their sexual organs...you aren't are you? You are willing to undergo a huge surgical procedure to "fix" yours? Not impartial at all...

My definition came from the dictionary - No matter...

As you said - This is completely your decision and you know what ramifications this could bring then the interest for alot of us here is how things go for you after - Not just weeks after - YEARS after. This could be a good way to learn more and understand surgery at close range...

Question is - Are you man (woman lol) Enough to totally tell absolutely everything it may bring?

Ie - If you cannot poop one day - You tell us (In your diary) and if you feel it was a mistake you tell us. This is the way people learn and this is the way women on here would see at 2nd hand the TOTAL outcome of your surgery.

Now THIS - I would be so interested in reading - This would be an eye opener to all women and would definitely show us what we at this time only hear about a long time after the fact...

Maybe you should get a Xanga site and be anonymous there and then we can link to you and read your story and you would be totally anonymous etc

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

I'm sure there are those who would love updates on your surgical outcome. I would, especially if you stick around for 5+ years. I doubt that anyone who's done the research would take a positive short term outcome as reason to choose surgery, so it the long term outcome that is more indicative of 'success'. in my mind anyway.

I think we've been through the 'is this site censored' and the 'don't disrespect my choice of surgery' thing already. the site is not censored (though names of specific doctors are edited out) and an informed choice is every woman's right.
that said, if people have emailed you asking questions they don't feel comfortable asking publicly here, go ahead and answer them if you want. in email form.
the thing is, this site exists to help women manage prolapse without surgery. so going on and on about the benefits of surgery is just philosophically out of place here. nothing wrong with posting honestly and offering to be a resource privately. but its kinda sorta like formula feeding moms posting on a breastfeeding support board about the benefits of formula. Its out of place and imo, somewhat disrespectful of the community.

Gudch1

I've read all the posts related to this thread and wanted to throw in my two cents. I think you are looking for someone to cut out what has happened to you and change you fundamentally so that you can return to what you once were. I hope that happens for you. But I think you're all by yourself, and feeling it.

Some of us go through physical change in life we can't change. Some of us go through emotional torment and terror that haunt us the rest of our lives. Putting it away, removing it, returning it to once once was will probably never happen for us. Life is not a baptism; it's a crucifixion.

I understand your loneliness and your anxiety, and I wish I could do something for you. I'll be thinking about you on the 13th and my little guys will pray for you too.

If nothing more, I hope you get some relief. Even if it's temporary, it might be enough time and effort of all those involved to make you know that you are loved. Being loved is the most important thing there is in life.

God Bless, and don't forget He loves you too even in your tattered and lonely state. He was there too.

Judy

Change what you can change; be happy with what you cannot.

Like the others I am tempted to tell you that you are having this surgery for all the wrong reasons; that you want to literally "cut out" this horrible experience from your life, and that it won't work. But after reading your messages again I see that your situation is not typical, and therefore typical, non-surgical solutions may not work for you.

First, you say you are having "cystocele, rectocele, labiaplasty, and something else I have forgotten the name of" done but you do not mention hysterectomy. Are they going to remove your uterus or leave it in place? Or was it removed when they treated you right after your attack?

Second, you mention "pain from the way I was put back together, consent low back pain, difficulty going to the bathroom, and as far as urinating going I always feel like I have to go. I feel full, heavy, and off balance," and, "Because of all the damages my body received my pelvis dropped 2 inches on one side, I no longer have a natural shape. At one part my pelvis started coming apart."

Yours is not the typical damage from the typical childbirth with episiotomy. You had a highly abnormal childbirth and then further damage from a criminal attack. You are describing PHYSICAL symptoms that possibly go above and beyond what most of us deal with, from the ordinary garden variety prolapses. I don't know what you mean by your "pelvis dropped on one side" but apparently your tissues are asymmetrical, and I don't know what you mean by your "pelvis started coming apart" unless you're talking about the cartilage in the public arch, which perhaps was damaged either during the birth, or by the knife, and never properly healed.

These are highly abnormal features and possibly something that SHOULD be addressed with reconstructive surgery, especially if they are not going to remove your uterus.

Since we aren't doctors, and don't have your medical records and haven't examined you, we couldn't possibly say whether your decision is right or wrong. Since this is a website to support those who don't have surgery, the somewhat negative reaction is understandable, but I think it was exacerbated by the way you presented your story. There is a very strong emotional component, and your legitimate physical reasons for the repair get hidden in it. Perhaps over the ten years you have been thinking about this, you have separated the two in your mind, and you know that you are having the surgery only to correct physical issues, and not as a way of erasing what happened to you. In fact, you do admit that the appearance of your genitalia does cause you emotional distress, and that is one reason why you are going ahead with the procedures. There is nothing wrong with a little external cosmetic correction. Again, it's not like you were simply torn a little through natural childbirth... you are scarred from a brutal attack. So this too is a justified reason for corrective repair. As long as you have done the emotional work to accept it for what it is, and not to expect something from it that it won't give you. If you have done that, then it is possible you do know exactly what you are doing and that this is the right course for you.

Again, it is very important to know whether or not you are having the uterus removed, or merely corrective repair of misaligned, scarred tissue. If they are leaving the uterus in place, it seems you will have a much better chance for a successful outcome. If you've already had it removed, or they will take it Sept. 13, then you could follow the typical long term post operative course of worsening of your symptoms.

I think if I were in your position, I would interrogate the surgeon deeply, and have him explain exactly, in great detail, what he is going to do and WHY. Have him point out which abnormality he is addressing and how he thinks his procedure will permanently fix it, and what the long term risks are, and I would do this for each and every little part of the surgery he plans to do. I would ask him to point to images of the abnormality he is going to address. If there is MRI film showing adhesions, for example, or a misaligned pelvic bone that healed wrong, or if he can at least tell you he can feel scar tissue upon examination that has skewed the tissues wrong. In other words, I'm looking for evidence of a SPECIFIC malformation and his SPECIFIC correction to that malformation, and not just the standard uplifting of prolapsed tissues as if you were the standard patient.

There are always alternative ways to accomplish something, so I would ask the surgeon what is the surgical alternative to the particular method you have chosen and why are you not doing that? I believe I would even visit another surgeon and do the same with him, and compare their answers. Two surgeons may have two different methods of correcting something. One may be more updated and lower risk than the other.

So the bottom line is, if you have injuries that were incorrectly or incompletely repaired after the attack, and they are causing you severe physical symptoms, AND the surgeons can clearly demonstrate to you what is needed to be done and how they are going to do it, AND you have also emotionally processed the attack to the point where you have accepted it and moved forward in most ways except how these physical symptoms are holding you back, AND you can accept the risk that the repair may leave you even worse off and you are willing to take that risk, then you are probably okay to go ahead with the surgery.

If you already don't have a uterus, that changes the risk/benefit balance, I would think, toward having the surgery, as you've already done the worst thing that causes further prolapse. If you do still have your uterus, then my biggest piece of advice to you would be to try to preserve it, and limit the surgery to only correction of blatant structural abnormalities, not mere "relaxing" of tissue.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you for clarifying what you will be having done. Keeping your uterus is wonderful; I wager that will greatly improve your odds of a successful outcome. I do think your story is relevant to this site. Yours is not typical; it sounds as if they are doing some repair to areas that were "mismatched" during the emergency treatment. Hopefully the surgical correction will bring you relief from your physical symptoms, if not complete, then at least be helpful. Surely the techniques in this site will still be relevant to you also, to address whatever residual problems might remain, or develop with time and age.

Yours could be the exception to the rule, the case that doesn't fit the standard protocol. There are always individual exceptions to everything and treatment should be decided on a case by case basis, and no one-size-fits-all solution. I hope if you go through with the surgery that it is successful and you are happy with the result.

A rule of thumb is to always go with the most conservative, non-invasive solution FIRST. But if you have been doing that for ten years with no improvement, and are still unhappy, then a more radical, invasive solution might in this case be the right one. I hope so.

I think you are welcome on this site. If you weren't there would not have been so many replies to your post. The ladies on this site are very caring and try to help all who post as best they can.
I think you are a very intellegent and brave person. You have researched the pros and cons of the surgery you are going to have.
If my daughter or granddaughter was faced with such a decision I hope they would be as thorough in their research as you have been.
I think you needed a place to discuss your feelingss and hopefully you found what you needed.
I have lived a long time and for some decisions unfortunally only time can tell if it was the right decision. Hind sight is 20/20.
I wish you a successful surgery and hope all goes well for you in the future.
Best wishes in all you do.
Flora

OK - I can totally understand that you wanna rebuild the you of the past.

I also know that the you that once was will never return as emotionally as well as physically you are changed inside - Your whole life was altered forever at that moment, it will never go away but you can box it up and live with the box quite well for a while - Yeah this box will opens itself every now and then and fling you back into the past - But you will fight and shut the box up again and once again you will 'live alongside it' in relative 'peace' for a while. There are many counsellors out there - But - You know - Not al of them - In fact only 1% if not less will ne right for YOU. The problem is in finding that person.

After your surgery, this will probably fling this box wide open for a while as it will be like 'after the event' But you are strong enough to shut that box up and tell it to get outta the way cos you are moving forwards...

You know how I feel - But - I am also not gonna judge you as 'wrong' for we all know that right and wrong live close by each other and one persons right is another persons wrong. My feelings on this count for nothing - This is about you.

You have courage! (Yes you do!)
You have the courage to heal... Maybe it will take so many years until you realise this - Maybe you never will - Who knows - This is YOUR life YOUR journey and YOUR roads travelled. People may in the future 'why are you like you are' You will smile wryly and say 'I am what life made me' And such is it - Storys end is a long way off eh...

I wanna wish you well and send strength to you - Keep our email addies and know after our boxes are always open to chat... :) It is always nice to hear a voice when you just wanna chat - Even abut nothing important - Remember me then - I am FAB at chatting about nothing :) I am a pro at that lol...

And again I reiterate that your strength IS there. You have survived and toget to this point that has taken you courage.

Keep in touch OK :)

I think you said your surgery was the 13th - Or was that someone else?

If so - I wish you well and hope you will keep in touch :)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

hey there. i hope you can please keep us posted. i am fairly new to this site, i am post partum and trying to wait patiently for everything to improve. everyone keeps telling me i have lots of time. i am almost 4 months postpartum, and i find it hard to be optimistic when today my cystocele is hanging there as usual. i find it very debilitating since i am a very active person...if i keep my bladder fairly empty it doesn't seem so bad, but the outcome of that will be possible bladder infections. this site is full of women who have found ways to cope with this issue without surgery. i haven't found any other site that deals with this issue at all. so i want to know how your surgery goes, how bad the recovery is, etc. etc....just in case i want to choose that option one day. i totally understand your choice to do this. i understand the opinions of all of the great ladies on this site also. very confusing, and unfair that our choice to want to be our old self again is so limited and maybe even unrealistic. j

Concern for what happened to you, and the unified desire to see that wrong righted in the healing of your body. Of course, the wrong can never be righted. You are a woman who has suffered what to most of us is the unimaginable. In my mind, that has created within you a wellspring of experience and maturity that often comes from extreme suffering. It develops that perception, that ability to see beyond the material. Anyway, I'm getting off here, but what I mean to say is that I think there is a united outrage at what happened to you, and a genuine concern that you deserve the best of what the future has to offer. That concern may get expressed in various ways, but that's what I think it is. I am going to be praying for you on the 13th. We'll be on our way out of the country that day. I will think of you up there in the air. You are an intelligent, courageous woman, and I want to lend my support and love to your journey into the future. Blessings to you.

Marie

Sweet, sweet lady,
I've read a lot on these boards, haven't commented much. You're a very strong woman. You've had more than your share of a load to carry. It sounds to me like God has sent you the man that is the desire of your heart. One who will love you and your children, that's huge! Now about this surgery thing. In March I had a hysterectomy, prolift I and II and TVT. Now I'm not going to say it was a walk in the park, however, compared to the YEARS of pain, pressure, frustration, pain...it was so worth it! I'm a hairstylist, I own my own salon. I'm crazy busy all the time, on my feet ALL day. I had five pregnancies, four live births. All very fast labors, the last in which after delivering my son, I delivered my uterus. That child is almost twelve and I have been dealing with the whole prolapse mess since his birth. It was just getting progressively worse. Finally the incontinence and the inability to keep all my organs in my body and the tremendous pain became determining factors. I told my surgeon I had a really high pain threshold; to which he chuckled. Fast forward to the evening after my surgery. MY surgeon comes into the room and gets down on one knee and says " I bow down to you Dear Lady do not let anyone ever tell you that you do not have anything less than a higher than high pain threshold!!!" To which I responded "Why are you saying that?". He then proceeded to tell my husband and I that usually with prolapses they are a weakening in the pelvic floor. In my case the muscles were completely torn in half. So, a little more pain post-op but fixed. But, what I'm trying to say is sometimes things are not always what they seem to be until they get in there and can check it out. Even with all the CTs and MRIs with contrast it didn't tell them what they were going to find once they got in there. So, my surgery was supposed to take three hours and ended up taking six and a half, but it's all good. It takes time to heal. DO WHAT THE DOCTOR SAYS TO DO! I'm not yelling , I just can't stress that enough. I had to be out for eight weeks, it was tough, he still won't let me lift anything over five pounds but I'm healing well, and I've had a client that only had the TVT and she didn't do what the Dr. said and ended up having to have it done again!
You're a strong lady. You can' change what has happened in your past but you have control of this and your present future. I will be praying for you on the 13th. My sweet daughter was born on that day. She will be fourteen. I hope you have a Bible handy because I would love for you to look up this Psalm and pray this until your surgery or at any time you feel in need of protection. This is the prayer I pray when my oldest son is in Iraq. He's home now, he goes back in March. Anyway it's Psalm 91. I'll be praying that Psalm with you and praying God's hands be the surgeons hands and his eyes his eyes and that you make a quick and miraculous recovery and that there only be smooth sailing, clear skys and calm seas. God bless you! Surgery was the absolute right choice for me!!!!!

Debb
P.S.
about having to have this thing again every 3 to 5 years. I'm not sure where that person got her info, but, the technique that my surgeon used is relatively new and he was one of the Dr's that did the FDA study before it was approved her in the USA. It was approved in the UK first then here. The original procedure had like a 65% failure rate(not so good) This new procedure has a less than 4% failure rate. I didn't go into this with out checking out all my options and making sure I had up to date information that was unbiased and accurate. It's a good deal. E-mail me

As we said before - TVT may be a new thing - But it is a new making of an old bitta mesh - made for this procedure.

But thanks.

If I ever get a bad day/week/year I shall return to this post and read and it will 100% make sure I go about things another way. Come back in 5yrs and tell me how you are.

Personally - If you read other sites you would have SEEN that they have multiple procedures. Ie - The Dates on th site came down to approc one every 3rd year to fix up something else - Given a very long name made up by some Dr who liked long words nobody can pronounce lolololololololol But as said below - Everyone makes their own choices in this life and everyone has to live with the stuff they hafta reap.

This is starting to resemble another forum I have read of late...
Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

Good luck for tomorrow...

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

Not to upset you just before your big day, but we’re about being real here, Gudch. We’re all curious about the “misinformation” as you just posted on uprise, “A lot of my stress has been miss information. I won’t say where I got it but I was reading a forum and it was nothing but the worst of the worst.”

You promised you would be real with us and already you’re being dishonest. Can we talk about the misinformation so we can all learn?

Christine

I really believe that all information is information and only a person who knows everything can be enlightened by this.

There are always two sides to every story. There are always other views - If there were not this world would be one helluva boring place.

You know how I feel but I also wish you luck in your quest for that which you seek :)

But - No matter what happens we will be here waiting for you to return and give us the knowledge of the surgery.

I wish you well and hope that your family will rally round for you after the procedure.

It does sound very invasive (Needing pillows and the like) So hopefully they will treat you like a Queen for a while :)

Good luck to you and please update us on your return.

Maybe in your future you can help other women who have been where you are (Councelling and stuff) I know that someone who has faced the harsher realities of life is always a good person for someone who is in a tunnel needing an ear to open up to. Sometimes other women need someone strong to talk to even just one time. An ear for an hour is sometimes such an amazing thing, it makes you KNOW you have done something good - Even if you never speak to that person again in your lifetime :) I've been there, one time, and she never spoke to me again - But I know that without my ear that night her life now would never be the same :)

Good luck to you Girl :) I really wish this for you :)

The real thing that has scared most of us here is things like this below... And I hold nothing against those people bar the fact that they refuse to let the non surgical way be HEARD. Is that is not misinformation then what is??? Here we will talk about anything - Whether we agree or not we will discuss it - There they will not even discuss it - They refuse to believe a word that is said - Well I say - WHATEVER to them! I know this works as do other women here because we LIVE it every day. I came here with a grade 2 - 2.5 prolapse - Today I have less than a grade1 prolapse - I suppose i imagined it through not going to the right site to get their information? There is misinformation if someone purposefully tells you lies - But this information is obviously something you do not wanna hear. But if you are here tonight read the below - Let it be ingested into you. This is not MY words - This is from the site whom you trust so much that all is good.

This... Their signatures listing all the surgeries and the dates they had it...

Lap Supracervical Hyst, Uterosacral Lig Susp, Transvag Sling, Transvag Enterocele Repair, Anterior Colporrhaphy, Posterior Colporrhaphy (12/00), Anterior Colporrhaphy (4/01), Sacral Colpopexy, Halban Culdoplasty, Paravag Repair, Burch (10/01), Sacral Colpoperineopexy (9/03)

One surgery in Dec 2000 another in April 2001 another in October 2001 and yet another in Sept 2003. THAT is no fix in my book!

That is what scares the bejeezus outta me anyways - :-) (Hey call me a wimp lol)

And...
Uterine suspension 1992, Bladder neck suspension 1993, rectocele repair 2001, bladder sling removed and 2nd rectocele repair 2004, grade 2/3 cyctocele present and unrepaired.

Read it - Every year another surgery and the end says she has a grade 2/3 cystocele now so what was the point?? She still has it - None of the surgeries have FIXED anything. They just led to more surgery. So WHO is giving misinformation HUH?

Hey - If I thought they were fab - Believe me I would TELL everyone. Just olike I would on anything I think is good - I am an open book me. I hold NO fear from anything cos I have lived through so much crapola I fear very little. But I DO however fear that I give away my trust to someone who tells me all will be well and does not give me information on how long this will last. I do however hold alot of fear that my most intimate areas be messed with in the name of a fix. I want to know the TRUTH. And the truth is what others have been through and if those people will not tellyou the truth - Believe me I see through their stories of wonderful stuff and their words below tell ALL.

Personally if you think this site gives misinformation - Try telling us that agan when you return cos you may think that other site tells the whole truth - But in all honesty at this moment You do not know WHO is telling the truth and WHO is telling stories do you!

Ok I wrote a book and got annoyed. I apologise. I know what I say works as I live it - My prolapse was exiting my body and now I never see or feel it - If that is misinformation then I am a liar! But - How would you know you do not even believe a word I utter. Cos this is obviously crapola.

Some of us care enough to not want others to go through pain. Some people are oblivious to that which is right in front of their face. Believe me when I say that I feel for you. I am interested in your quest for the perfect genetalia. And I worry that you will find it is not what you think it may be.

But if you wanna do it and you do - I wish you well and usually bite my tongue on negative things lol

So again I apologise but if tomorrow you may hear my words back in your head as you go under the anaethesia. I wanted to say something at that moment once. i woke up and the Op was over - Obviously not Prolapse but decisions you make in life come back to haunt you for the rest of yoru days.

I will shut up now and go get someone to slap me cos I prolly need it

lol

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

This is not for Gudch, but for other readers here.

Medical professionals - I believe in many cases that's an oxymoron - (part ox part moron). Can't tell you how many times I narrowly escaped being killed by medical professionals. I feel sorry for anyone who looks at medicine the same way they look at a crystal ball. Doctors know some things; I do too about me. When there is a conflict, who am I going to believe? If I had believed certain doctors, I would be dead, seriously injured or incapacitated.

Judy

Change what you can change; be happy with what you cannot.

Thanks, Judy…there is truth in what you say. It is also true that acute care saves a lot of lives. The medical system needs to learn to deal with chronicity, which always means bringing a person back to HEALTH…a cloudy concept for much of Western medicine.

Are we benefiting from this thread? I think Gudch has made her point and I would rather see us discuss ANYTHING but surgery – lol. I can lock the thread so that we have it but it will be invisible. Thoughts?

...please share.

what do you mean by lock a thread...and that gudch! has made her point. hasn't everyone else made their point too. isn't this a place to discuss, even at nauseaum (sp?). if people don't want to read the thread or add on then they don't have to.

Surgery threads have a way of turning into hornet's nests here. I don't have the administrative option of locking the thread and keeping it visible. It just seems counterproductive as we've exhausted this subject time and time again. As a new member weighing your options I understand all frames of reference are important to you though.

clearly by asking the opinion of the members Christine wanted to know what would be best in our opinion. Yes as an administrator she has the ability to alter any post- but she doesn't (for the most part).
So my opinion is to let it be. Leave it here. So far the thread has been fairly represented on all sides. I haven't weighed in b/c I could care less about surgery.
Such a sad story and one that needed the telling I am sure. I for one am stronger for having read it.

I never alter anyone's posts but my own unless I delete something that is irrelevant. I do edit my own on occassion just to keep the confusion factor at a dull roar.

Christine,

For what it is worth I would recommend keeping the thread. Fortunately surgery is not even on my radar but if something ever happened to me as what happened to gudch I would want to be able to freely discuss all my options in a safe, nuturing environment such as you have established here. Where else could a woman go and be able to ask anything and have it not be TMI? When the comments start getting a bit tense I view these as necessary and healthy exchanges of information that are necessay for women to be informed!!
To Gudch I wish you the best!

Now that Uprise is mentioned I am wondering how the-I think 4 procudures that you are having done can be done on an out patient basis? Even the gals there seem incredulous. After seeing your post and being reminded of surgery I went to Uprise and saw your post there and I was shocked to see you posted that you will be having all of these procedures done as an out patient...

I am wondering what sort of Dr would do this surgery on an outpatient basis not knowing how the procedures really went and how you were and if that was part of the misinformation. I was under the impression that these are pretty major procedure's--some women literally cannot urinate on their own for MONTHS! I can't believe they wouldn't make sure that a patient could void and use their catheter competantly before they kick you out of the hospital...Gosh they can't even kick mothers and babies out any longer until they have at least two days and that is after a normal vaginal delivery--!

I go to the site--I call it the surgery site rarely now--used to in the very begining but after all of this I wanted to see if you were posting there and you are...

This is too late for an answer but I am wondering if these surgeries are now being done like this? I can only imagine the Drs are now subjecting the gals who choose surgery to even worse outcomes and failures if they are not even keeping them overnight!!!

Such is the thorniness around stories like hers. It could be her surgeon is planning a very superficial, cosmetic repair. We have no way of knowing. I understand the emotional impact her presentation had here, but I also suspect it was somewhat planned. A person doing an exhaustive, ten-year search would certainly have encountered the three primary prolapse forums on the Web as well as the occasional altercations between them -lol. Hope she got what she needed.

I wondered that myself...I found Uprise and here and several others after one evening...I can't believe I am such a genius...LOL.

I had wanted to say something earlier but you know female guilt but when I saw the other postings then I really felt we might have been played a bit...

Tired of being played...so tired.

Thanks Christine for never playing us!