27, no pregnancies...yet I end up with a prolapse?! What about sex?

My cervix is almost at the entrance when I stand. When I lie down it goes back in and I can even push it further if I want ha ha ha ha.

My husband and I have a very good sex life. Apparently intercourse does no damage at all to the prolapsed organs. Maybe once in a while in certain positions the cystocele is a bit irritated by friction, but not normally. I've noticed NO decline of function or enjoyment since my prolapses. If anything, sex is better than ever. This is probably not because of the prolapses but just because as we age my husband and I get better and better at sex. :-))

I am convinced that the uterus is an ACTIVE source of pleasure during orgasm. And furthermore, just because it's hanging a little differently doesn't change that one bit. It still performs just like it's supposed to, spasming during orgasm or whatever it does. That is one reason I flat refuse to even consider letting my gynecologist even talk about removing it. It's my orgasmer as far as I'm concerned. I've read enough women on the hysterectomy boards talk about how orgasms just don't feel the same any more to convince me to keep all my parts down there!

I suppose there could be pain if the thrusting hits the cervix differently or something, but that just hasn't been a problem for me. I believe the penis kind of acts like a pessary, pushing things back up, and usually I'm horizontal, so all the stuff is flopped back up before we start anyway. There is just nothing going on to hurt anything as far as I can tell. Prolapses are a positional thing... they only exist when gravity is pulling in the down direction. It's not like your uterus migrated down and is now glued to the new spot. It is mobile. It goes back up when you lie down. So there really is no issue as far as intercouse is concerned, that I can tell.

I have come to view my prolapses as "normal" for me. I don't let them prevent me from enjoying sex as much as I want. The only issue is that when I'm wearing the pessary, I have to remove it to have sex. I don't like to insert and remove it a great deal, so I end up leaving it out for several days. When I want to wear it, I do so when my husband is out of town or we just don't have sex for a few days, until I feel like doing without it again. It always makes me feel more put back together and I don't need it all the time.

Hi Kathryn

We are here for you, and some us have come out the other end (so to speak) managing our prolapses quite well (for the rest of our lives hopefully). I can't say that mine stop me from doing a lot, now I am managing it properly - 3 years now. Everyone is different. I am coming up to menopause and wondering how things will be from then on. You are at the other end of your reproductive life. Glad you found us now before babies and before committing your body to surgical changes (which make management harder or impossible), which I hope you will be able to continue.

First thing is ... breathe. This is earth-shattering for you at the moment, but it is not life threatening. Lots of others will turn up who have had babies after prolapse diagnosis, so I'll leave that side to them. My prolapses were first noticed before my second and third babies, but were not bothering me greatly at that stage. After two more babies and 15 years more wear and tear (constipation, heavy lifting using the wrong muscles etc) it got to the point of affecting my ability to empty my bladder and bowel, and I was getting a lot of vulva chafing, UTI's and thrush. Now I only notice my prolapses before and during a period because I carry myself differently, eat differently, clothe myself differently etc. I may as well not have prolapses any more. I do have bad days occasionally but I know they will pass, so I am not scared anymore.

You are at the scared stage, and rightly so, as it is a pretty scary discovery to make. This is partly because nobody talks about it, so it is a bit hard to find information that is not skewed towards surgery. You are right to be wary of surgery. Your instincts are working well. Once you read Saving the Wholewoman you will *really* know why.

Re sex. It is no big deal. If your husband wants the body of a fourteen year old he needs his head read (but I am sure that is not the case!) Everybody's body is different and women's bodies seem to change continually. Men don't seem to notice this, unless you ask if your bum looks big and they say "no", thinking "I'm not sure this week, but it is a beautiful bum". They are interested in the woman within, and they are mainly interested in getting plenty of sex, and good, loving sex is better. You might feel different sensations but men don't seem to mind. We discuss these topics here (use the search box) and in general men don't seem to notice. Feel the fear and do it anyway, then you will realise that he doesn't love you any less, and it makes little difference.

You can also use the positioning of your own body to minimise your lack of comfort, ie just make sure that you are either lying down, or on top, or lying beside, or hanging from the chandeliers... actually, just keep your pelvis tilted forward so your bum is more prominent. This will keep your pelvic floor muscles taut (see the book for explanation) both of which he will probably enjoy. Later in arousal if you want to open your pelvic floor to feel more, tuck your bum under. This will relax your PF muscles. This seems to happen naturally for me near orgasm anyway. As if I would be able to do anything about it! LOL It is nearly the same as sound real estate investment. Position, position, position!!!

If you can, be open and honest with your husband about your prolapses, so you can both enjoy sex unencumbered by embarrassment and holding back for fear of offending, or fear of pain, or fear of not measuring up any more. I am sure he will understand, especially if you explain that a large proportion of women the world over experience prolapse, it's just that we don't talk about it openly - wierd. Presumably you will be together for a long time. This is something you will be sharing for a long time. There is a lot of sex between 27 and a funeral.

Hey Kathryn, men get bent penises, erectile dysfunction, prostate problems. What is a prolapse or two in the big picture?? Life aint perfect but sex can always be good, given two willing individuals.

I'll let the younger women respond to the "only 27" part. There are lots of young women who have prolapses just like you who visit the Forum .

Lots of women with prolapses can find no reason, especially if they haven't experienced lots of constipation or had babies. Nobody really knows how many women are wandering around completely oblivious to their prolapses. There have been a few studies done in some countries. You can find them by googling appropriate keywords. You might only get abstracts because many of them are in subscription medical journals, but you can get the gist of the results.

Re your weight gain, you might find that may be only one factor that has contributed. Fat accumulates inside your body around your organs, as well as on the outside under your skin, so there is more stuff in your torso, specifically in your pelvic area, which may mean that the pressures inside your abdomen from simply breathing and moving, coughing, sneezing, vomiting etc will be higher all the time. That may be what happened when you recently did the heavy lifting. Losing weight will no doubt be better for you generally, if you can do it, but especially if you are planning babies. If you are on the Pill, that often causes temporary weight gain, which is fluid. A change of type might reduce your weight without even trying, or use another form of contraception.

Come back when you have read Saving the Wholewoman, and ask more questions anytime. Remember there is nothing wrong with your pelvic organs. They have just slipped a bit.

Cheers

Louise

I don't have much to add to louise's post, but wanted to respond anyway.
I was 33 when I found my prolapse, not 27, but still younger than I thought I'd be when I started falling apart. the good news is, that now, at 35 I no longer feel like I'm falling apart. I'm stronger and healthier than I was 2 years ago.
I know that finding a prolapse is frightening, depressing and overwhelming, but try to bear in mind that there is also reason to remain hopeful.
my heart always aches for the women who find prolapse early postpartum, and also for you as a newlywed. this is a time that you should be enjoying without these types of worries. if ever there was a time that your vagina should be happily indulged without concerns or worries or any types of dark thoughts, first year of marriage is it.
so {{{hugs}}}
the silver lining, I guess, is that it is very likely that you and your new dh will develop a level of trust and support that many married couples don't until years into it.

tell your dh not to worry that he will hurt you, you will tell him if anything is uncomfortable. go slow, be gentle and explore. in a short amount of time you'll know what your limits are (if any).
I have a cystocele, small rectocele and probably a diagnosable prolaped uterus as well. I have no pain with sex. no discomfort aside from the initial discomfort in my brain. and that's something real too.

POP is not an easy thing to wrap your mind around. take the time to mourn, cry, be angry at the gods, fates whatever. share as much as you feel comfortable with your dh and come here for support.

many of us have improved tremendously without surgery.

good luck at the dr

It is scary to discover prolapse. No getting around it. Grieving is part of the process. Personally, when I start gaining weight, I do notice that I feel more pressure. So, that's one avenue to explore. As far as s*x goes, ironically, it's better for me since discovering the prolapse. I started using a vaginal exerciser, which has improved my s*x life 100%, because I was pretty cavernous after birthing three babies. I don't think I ever would have used it if I hadn't felt totally compelled. Also, I feel more beautiful than I ever have, using Christine's total program. i recommend getting her book and starting her exercise program pronto. It really helps -- the exercises (ballet workout), clothing, diet, movement, posture. It's all good.

Wishing you healing,

Marie

Hi Kathryn,

I too am young, 28, and have never had kids. I know how unfair it seems that we have to go through this at any age, especially so young. I know how you feel with the sexual issues. I already have vulvodynia, interstitial cystitis, and pelvic floor dysfunction, which all give me pain......I barely had sex with my poor boyfriend before the prolapse, and now I'm just scared to!

I'm not a hundred percent sure what caused my prolapse, but what I think contributed to it are: a history of bulimia (not very proud of that), the pelvic floor dysfunction I mentioned, and also a very large ovarian cyst I just had surgically removed - it was pressing on all my organs.

I just wanted to let you know that I can relate. I have found that exercise has not made anything worse for me. What does seem to make it worse is straining to do to the bathroom, so I use Miralax to make sure I don't need to strain.

Maybe it will make you feel better to know that a few months ago I was really broken up about this, too. Seriously depressed, hopeless, just feeling horrible and scared of doing anything, like you mentioned. (read my previous posts!) I have gotten better, I don't think about it constantly anymore, I'm not as depressed. I get scared and sad sometimes, but it really is better. You just learn to deal, I guess. What's one more gynecological diagnosis for me :-)

Give it some time to learn to deal with it. I have become semi-comfortable with my body again, and I never thought that would happen. I think you will too over time.

nicole

I just found this website, and @ 36, having had two children, I have prolapse with cystocele and rectocele, but I am very guilty of the heavy lifting, I'm not a doctor, but after going to 4 gynos in the lst 4 months, excersize is not going to make this much better if in fact it's fallen that low. There is a device called a pessary, kinda like a diapghram concept, personally,it was not an option for me, I glanced thru here before I responded and saw that alot of women like them, to me, it's just a band aid, and after 4 gynos, I'm still sexually active w/my husband and I can't see myself saying, hold on honey let me remove this. But you need to have this addressed, yes heavy lifting and weight play a role, search uterine prolapse, you'll be amazed at the info you'll find. In my case, the rectocele (rectum bulge in my vagina) is causing a hassle when I have to go to the bathroom, I've opted for a hysterectomy and then repair of the other mentioned things, but I've had children and my tubes were tied 9 yrs. ago. Try to find a urogyncologist in your area, they specialize in this and good luck...stop lifting heavy stuff! I've learned my lesson, the urogyno set me straight w/his analogy of how diferent woman are buiklt from men, look at it this way, we have more organs to disrupt by trying to do too much, and ya know he's right. I totally sympathize w/the sex thing, while mine is no where as bad, I have a terrible achiness after sex and my period, forget tampons, there useless when your cervix is too low, but definately go to that doctor and don't lift anymore heavy things. Good luck again.

I just read your comment to Kathryn and I'm so glad to read this stuff from other younger women. I was actually diagnosed w/a "light" case of interstitial cystitis, because of the symptoms I was having due to my proplapse, unfortunately, this doctor gave me some kind of test "Cystoscopy" a real pain in the butt, but NEVER addresses the prolapse issue, which is funny since the ONLY symptoms of interstitial I have is the frequency and urgency to urinate...the same for prolapse, it's sad to say I had to find a doctor to address my avtual prolapse, while it's only stage two, what I have to do to have a bowel movement is ridiculous..you mentioned all this stuff, but you didn't mention what was being done about it? Oh, and a piece of personal advise, while this may not apply to everyone, that Myralax, I take it too...EVERYDAY, and if I miss one dose, I get so bloated and can't go for like 2-4 days, it's horrible, yet one more reason I left that doctor, he tells me "Oh you have Irritable Bowel" it was amazing how I always went before and am not going any more w/the Myralax, I never understood why he didn't want to address the prolapse. You advised Kathryn that she as you would learn to deal with it, I hope your doing more than that, I'm almost 10 years older than you and there's no way I would deal w/it, there's so many things that can repair this, not to mention the things that not repairing it could cause, I have cystocele (bladder is oushing in roof of vagina) and rectocele (rectum bulging inside vagina), all of this from the prolapse, I'm actually getting a hysterectomy on the 23rd, and like I told Kathryn, I've had my kids and tubes tied, but there's other things that can be done for this....It all makes me feel like I'm falling apart, how about you. But don't be scraed to do anything, just do something to help this, you guys are younger than me nd shouldn't have your lives stop for something that can be fixed. Good luck, hope to see everyones responses.

So you have a hysterectomy then get a Vaginal Vault prolapse - what ya gonna do then? (Devils advocate here lol)

Onve it is removed there is nothing in the middle to hold the other things in position

I am 39 (ARGH)
I am overweight - (More than i wanna be and less than I once was)
I execise
I have sex
I lift things
I have a prolapse (3 actually)Which I gained at 20yrs and 3mths old - Since then I have had two further children :-)
It is STABLE

I dont need someone to hack up my insides and yet I read on this site (A site where surgery is NOT advocated as a cure - Mainly cos it is NOT a cure - Just a moment n between ops lol)

Why break what aint broken - Most women have some sort of prolapseafter having kids - So if women have lived a happy existence with this and we have found a way of living well with prolapse

Why advocate surgery on a site you came to cos it is not advocating surgery?

I dont get it? (Must be thick lol)
I know i came here cos it is a site that gives yo ua non surgical fix

So coming here and saying - Yeah lets go get very important parts of our female genetalia hacked up and sewn up - Makes no sense to me...

Hmmmmmmmmm

It just rings bells inside my head when Doctors say they can FIX this. When it is not a true 100% fix and everyone I know of had had more than one Op to 'fix' this

Prolapse does not mean you are broken! It means inside you need to stabilize yourself

Oh well... Seems to be a surgery party on here of late.
Hence my wondering why come to this site that advertises itself as alternative to surgery if you want surgery?

Spose it is only me it makes no sense to eh lollllllllllllll
Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

Hello,

I just wanted to add something to my post below that will maybe clarify how I feel about my prolapse and gyn/uro problems in general. I believe that one of the ladies commented that I am just dealing with the prolapse - I am in no way just accepting and dealing with the fact that I have some prolapses. I am not anti-surgery whatsoever, in fact I just had surgery for a ovarian cyst and IC bladder distension. My surgeons had the option to perform prolapse surgery, and I told them to go ahead and do it - but when they actually got in there it was not severe enough to warrant it, so it was not done. The docs also did not want to sever any pelvic floor muscles because I already have PFD.

So, my 'dealing' with prolapse is really not a choice. I do feel like I'm way too young to have all of these issues; I do not want the prolapses to get any worse. I would have surgery if I could, but at this point the doctors do not think it's necessary, and my body couldn't deal with another one right now anyway.

So, instead of being miserable and upset about something that I cannot currently repair, I am trying to learn to psychologically deal with it or I will go crazy thinking about it. What I've discovered is that it is not as horrifically bad as I first thought in terms of functioning. I do not feel my prolapses, and nothing has actually come out of me. I just resumed having sex and it was not terrible like I thought it would be.

So, for now, I take encouragement from this website, although the opinions about surgery are too extreme for my personal tastes. I take what I can learn about healthy living and encouragement. If the day ever comes where I can have surgery, I probably will.

Just being honest.

thanks and good luck,
Nicole

If you cannot feel anything and nothing has 'left the orifice' Why would you fix what is not in all essence broken?

Just askin :-)

And I have 'dealt' with this thing I had no name for for half my life. At 20yrs I had my first son - Damage done then... It got a lil worse - Then I was given a name for it. Now its got better again. But will always be there.

Guess for me I know some things are part of you and with you for life. I have Multiple Sclerosis. Cant fix that. I have Dystonia in left hand - Cant fix that...

Sometimes less is more in my opinion lol I guess...

How old are you?

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

yeah, nobody ever said I'd have a perfect body until I got 'old'. I found my prolapse at 32, too young, imo, but got to deal with it.
my younger sister was diagnosed with otosclerosis at the same time and is already severely hearing impaired. too young.
now as it turns out, oto is genetic and I'm starting to experience a hearing loss as well. too young. makes me want to cry and scream at the heavens, why me, take it back, change it.
yeah, there's surgery. and 1% of the oto patients who undergo surgery wind up completely deaf in that ear. so for now its not an option. so I must deal with it.

but the prolapse? that's not limiting me in any way, now that I've got it under control with posture, diet and positive attitude. so I'm not taking ANY chances, not willing to lose what I have.

I'm sorry if I wrote too much about my opinion about surgery ....reading it over, I felt kind of bad. I know that this is not a surgical website, and that women come here looking for alternatives.

I guess part of the reason I would have surgery if I could, even though nothing is actually prolapsing form me yet, is that I know it eventually will happen, and I am so tired of dealing with so many chronic disorders that have no cure. I know that surgery is not necessarily a fix for everyone and that it has the chance of making things worse, but I've been suffering with major gynecological problems since I got my period at age 11, and now I'm 28. I feel like I've never had a break, and I've had to spend my whole life thinking constantly about my vagina!!! I've never been able to have sex without pain, and now I have these prolapses....it never seems to end. I just want to concentrate on other things in my life, that's all.

anyway, back to Kathryn - I hope that you are feeling better. I know that the posture and exercises have helped a lot of women on this site. And your young enough that your body should respond to positive changes.

good luck.....nicole

Hi Kathryn,

I suffered from a prolapse at about the same age as you (I'm now 32). I just didn't know that was what I was experiencing until I had my first baby and was 'formally' diagnosed. I instead was diagnosed with cystitis and given a colonoscopy, which another lady spoke of.

I was underweight if anything, so I know that weight may be one factor but certainly isn't the only one. I wonder if heavy lifting may be a bigger cause - in today's age women are often expected to do lifting, which really I don't think we're built for. I certainly had a period of heavy lifting which may have been a cause. But really, I think it's hard to know for sure, and some people are also just more predisposed to prolapse than others.

It can be hard to deal with, being so young especially, and I have to admit I still obsess over where my prolapses are etc. I just can't help it at this point. But, before having my first baby it did improve over time. Just be careful of heavy lifting and it may help to get Christine's book. My sex life has been unaffected by the prolapse, though I'm a little more limited in positions I can have sex in now - just play around with that one. Sex can actually help 'push things back up' for a while.

Surgery would probably be best avoided and most surgeons would say no prior to having kids anyway. If you're looking at having kids I'd recommend going for a gentle, active birth, like I'm planning with baby number two (I'm pg with baby two ATM). My first birth was in a hospital, on my back, and I had an episiotomy and really long second stage as a result. This could have contributed to my prolapse getting a bit worse after my baby was born.

I hope that's useful info, please feel free to ask more questions.

Hi Mumwithone

Hey, that's really good advice you just gave Kathryn!

Having done birth lying down with an epidural that knocked me out from the sternum down (forceps and episiotomy), and having two active births without anaesthesia (both non-episiotomy), I can vouch for the latter. With my third, I eventually refused to lie down at all for more than 30 seconds while the midwife had a listen with her trumpet. I now can't see why I didn't get her to lie down on the table and listen while I stood beside the table!

Why should I, who was labouring, have to do gymnastics to get on and off the table while she got to stand up??? She wasn't happy but couldn't do much about it. It all turned out very well in the end.

Why should a woman lie down at all if she wants to be up?

Cheers

Louise

*even though nothing is actually prolapsing form me yet, is that I know it eventually will happen*

I am sorry but just because you have a prolapse DOES NOT MEAN it will definitely progress and get worse!

My mother has had the same prolapse since I was a child. She has had no surgery. She has known about it for yearrrrrrrrrrrs. They said she should have a hysterectomy - My Mother refused!
She is soon to be 64yrs old - Stll a WHOLE in tact woman. Still has the same prolapse at the SAME level.

I have had a prolapse for 19years now - Nothing has left me yet.

Maybe the problems you are suffering have nothing at all to do with prolapse. As at age 11 it would 99.9% not be prolapse related...

This site is trying to get women to TRY a whole different aproach to prolapse that is non surgical. I guess that just makes us wonder why people bother if they are determined to have surgery, why come here and tell us?

I do not mean to be rude or insulting at all. This question just comes to me as alot of people here are determined not to have surgery then they get told ''It will definitely get worse'' And it scares the people who are new to the site and want so desperately to see a different way that doesnt involve their nether regions being assaulted (lol)

Anyways I will shut up now :-)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

Sue - I'm just being honest with my opinion as you are with yours. It's a personal choice. If you do not like my opinion that is fine, but please don't tell me to get out me out because you don't agree with me. You are not in my shoes, as I am not in yours and would never tell you not to express yourself. From what I understand, this website is not specifically anti-surgery, but explores other ways to deal with prolapse, which is what I am doing because I have no choice right now. Not everyone has the same beliefs, especially at different walks of life. Anyway, I really don't feel any more need to defend myself.......I am struggling enough as it is, just like the other women here.

I did not in any way tell you to not express yourself - However if you take on board the fact that women come here and want help to make them not feel so SCARED - Reading about surgery immediately after you click a link that says NATURAL ways to cope with Prolapse ain't gonna actually make them feel relaxed is it.

Anyways. Do what you like. This place is starting to resemble 'the other place' so much of late it's scary...
Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

Hi Caterpillar:

I just wanted to chime in and offer you my support. I too have a minor prolapse. I was diagnosed last year. I am 41 and have never had a baby. I HATE IT.

Being that your and my prolapse is minor, we have to learn to cope and live with it. This site will offer you lots of good advice on diet and exercise.

I don't know what the future holds for me as far as my prolapse is concerned. Deciding on what to do is very personal. No one should be critized for offering their opinion or expressing their feelings. The FAQ page states that this is not an anti-surgery site. Conversely, people opting to have surgery should respect the views of those who wish to live well with their prolapses.

We are all coping with the same thing, can't we just get along.

- Lilly Anne

Very nicely said Lilly Anne!

None of us knows what the future may hold but we can all be kind and respectful of each other in the present can't we??!! :)

Thanks Louise for your comment. From everything I've now read on natural, active birth it just 'makes more sense' to be upright. No wonder I tore and had to have an epiosiotomy lying on my back. The baby was not only having to be pushed uphill but was in a position closer to the 'rear end' instead of near the vagina - where the baby's supposed to come out. I just can't get over how you really have to fight in a lot of cases to have a baby the way nature intended.

It's great to hear your active births turned out much better by being upright. Do you think it helped with your POP birthing this way? LOL at the midwife - maybe all obs and midwives should do some gymnastics classes to help us poor labouring women give birth in better positions for our bodies.

Hi Mumwithone

To tell you the truth I didn't even relate POP to having babies at the time of my second labour. All I knew was that my pelvic floor had been blown out badly at the beginning of my second pregnancy (hormonal hyperstimulation of ovaries from infertility treatment resulting in a six month pregnant sized belly at 6 weeks pregnant, not nice) which was probably partly caused by the episiotomy from first labour, and I wanted to look after it the best way possible.

I had read Janet Balaskis' book, Active Birth, prior to my first labour (which was disappointingly, totally-managed as I had pre-eclampsia). It made me realise what I needed to do for my second labour. I nearly wore my husband out striding around the labour ward for about six hours, then did second stage lying on my side. That was fine, just a little graze that healed fine.

I had my first diagnosis of slight uterine prolapse after this second labour, 1985 (that is not to say it wasn't there after the first, 1982 too!) and was determined to be really upright all the way through with the third. Hence my intransigence with the midwife.

I was ready for a fight because I planned to birth the third baby (1987) close to home in a country hospital where they were not really accustomed to labouring women laying down the rules. I even visited them late in the pregnancy and warned them that I would be bringing my own foam mattress, (hygienically wrapped in tough plastic) so I could labour on the floor, and warned them very politely not to mess with me please. They were accustomed to indigenous women getting off the delivery table and labouring on the floor the moment they turned their backs, but I don't think they expected it with a non-indigenous woman!

During second stage I was on all fours, facing the wrong direction for the midwife, up on the table. She was frantically ringing my doctor telling to get his butt off the basketball court and over to the hospital, simultaneously cooing at me, "You can't have the baby in that position dear". I was busy concentrating on what I was doing and not falling off and said, "Just watch me". At that point she gave up trying to change my mind and just supervised. DH caught the baby (she was right - she couldn't get her head around it!) and the doctor arrived, still in his umpiring shirt, in time to cut the cord. It was just great!

My belly was pretty squishy and sloshy for several years after the third pregnancy but I didn't realise that my prolapses were becoming a problem until coughing from late onset asthma (finally diagnosed 2002) drew my attention to the vaginal fullness, stress incontinence, UTI's and thrush returning, and inability to defaecate properly. It was also a time of great marital stress which caused me to be constantly constipated.

I finally got the asthma sorted. I left the marriage; we experienced a miracle, and I returned to a new marriage to the same man on different terms. Prolapse is a small price to pay for a miracle. Just gotta finish getting all these muscles working properly now.

Cheers

Louise

my doula was extremely grateful that she's been doing yoga for years. she ended up catching my baby in the worst position. I was on all fours in the (small) bathroom. doula was twisted under the sink and around the toilet. no pulled muscles either! only damage was a bit of blood on her sweater. she'll never wear a white sweater to a birth again!

What a story you've got to go with your POP Louise! It's amazing the journeys we can be sent on in life and where they can lead. I had to have a big chuckle over your third birth story though, I bet the midwife will never forget you! Interesting too, what you said about it being common for indigenous women to birth upright - in Western culture we've definitely lost touch with what our bodies are supposed to be doing!

Love your story too Granolamom, I better let my midwife know she might like to take some of those yoga classes too - what an image you gave, especially with the white top and everything.

It's been nice to have a little giggle over these things. I'm starting to get nervous already. Things seem to have dropped a little further this week. I joked to my hubby last night that we'd better start having more sex to push things up, but it's seeming like a really good idea right now. I'm a bit scared once things drop they won't go back up again after the baby is born. I'm doing lots of affirmations about the outcome but I'm having trouble believing in myself. I can't tell you how much it helps to hear positive stories.

Sorry Kathryn, if we've hijacked your post a little. I would have been glad, however, to know these things before having my first bubba.

I have read some of the stories on here and they have made me feel a little better, atleast I'm not alone. I am 24, and have never been pregnant. About 1 1/2 years ago I started to have pain during intercourse. My husband and I would like to start having a family within the next year or so but that will be very difficult since intercourse is extremely painful. I don't know why this happened to me. My doctor doesn't seem to know either. Any suggestions would be appreciated...

Thank you!

Hi Samantha, and welcome.

I can remember having pain during intercourse before my first pregnancy. I was pretty strung out trying to acheive the first pregnancy. It took a long time and a lot of infertility treatment to get there. Second time we knew what the problem was and the second pregnancy came easily, but we still can't figure out how DS2 was conceived! What a wonderful surprise he was!

The pain has never been a problem since. I think all my pelvic organs and structures are more mobile since having babies. Yes, I have all three 'celes, but I suspect that prolapse is just the extreme of normal.

My uterus used to be severely retroverted. Missionary position with hard thrusting was out of the question. I don't think I experienced it when on top. It makes sense to me anyway. Oh yes, the other thing is that ovulation time was more painful, even though it was different pain.

I guess what I am saying is that lots of things can cause it. Depends where it is. Lumps like ovaries about to ovulate (or with large persistent cysts), a bowel full of dense stool, horror of horrors a tumour, vaginismus (whatever that is?). I think it is worthwhile getting checked out thoroughly to make sure everything is physically normal. Your family doctor may not be the best person to consult as he does not seem to know what it is (and may not feel comfortable talking about sex, in my experience). That is honest of him, at least. You might be better to go to a sexual health clinic, rather than a gynaecologist.

I am assuming that you do have some prolapse symptoms?? Or is the pain with sex the thing you are worried about?

If you have POP (pelvic organ prolapse), sex will not harm you. At least I have never read a post about sex causing further prolapse. Far from it. Plenty of penetrative sex seems to be a great way to reposition the pelvic organs. I would be going for plenty of foreplay too, of course! Otherwise it can be all over, Red Rover, before your body is properly aroused. Now that could also make for painful sex! I don't know what most of us Wholewomen would do if sex aggravated POP! Yikes! What a dreadful thought!

Samantha, are you on the Pill or some other form of contraception that might be a factor? No IUD?

Hey, just a thought, Wholewomen out there. You know how The Pill kind of tricks your body into thinking it is pregnant? And how everything loosens up in pregnancy? I wonder if women on the Pill are more susceptible to POP, if connective tissue loosens up like during pregnancy? Ligaments? Fascia? It is all the same kind of tissue, eh?

Cheers

Louise

Sounds a bit simplistic, but I think the problem with BCPs is that estrogen lowers testosterone levels and it's testosterone that supports healthy connective tissue. Testosterone is a female hormone too and when levels get too low, women can fall victim to pain and vulvar dystrophy. I think the vaginismus craze conveniently showed up at the same time the pill hit the scene and because gynecology knows nothing about endocrinology, it was blamed on psychological issues.

Yeah, I could never really work out what it was. I think it is the thing they blame painful intercourse for if they cannot figure out what else it is. A bit like 'autoimmune diseases'. Maybe vaginismus is an autoimmune disease? ;-)

But maybe painful intercourse does have something to do with being on the Pill? Yeah, testosterone, eh?

We still don't know whether or not Kathryn is using contraception, so let's wait and see what she says.

L