Gynae visit vent

Submitted by Soupy on October 12, 2007 - 5:58pm
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I'm 12 weeks postpartum and finally went to my much awaited appointment with the gynaecologist yesterday. The appointments were running an hour and a half late and I thought fine, they must be giving everyone plenty of time to get questions answered. At least I had brought the baby along so I could feed him.

When it came to my appointment I got a registrar rather than the consultant who was off sick but I thought fine again, because I felt happier having a woman doctor with the same bits and pieces as me. Well, when she came to examine me, you'd think she was yanking open a pair of curtains rather than parting delicate tissue that is healing from giving birth. Then she looked really shocked and indignant at having to practically scrape me off the ceiling. Anyway, she had a look and confirmed what I already knew...cystocele...and then I couldn't believe what she did next. She walked round to the side of the table, leant against my still open legs and started to talk to me from there! By the time I'd got over my shock at the lack of respect of that and made moves to regain a bit of dignity, she almost went flying!

The rest of the consultation didn't go any better, she basically busied herself at the opposite end of the room rather than sitting down for any discussion or questions. Any questions we tried to press her with were basically brushed off.

I was told to come back in 4 months to allow for postpartum improvements and to do lots of pelvic floor exercises in the mean time.

My husband and I hung on trying to get some discussion about the role hormones play and what difference it might make when my cycle returns and additionaly when the baby weans (my first baby self weaned during pregnancy as 2 1/2 ). THings we could do to promote any natural improvement and anything I should avoid that might hinder or make things worse. I also wanted to know if she felt the way I'd been told to do the kegels was right (on back, bum on cushion) and got a curt answer there and was basically told there's no point going back if I'm not going to do the kegels as I've been told.

I was told that she expected things to be very much better in 4 months time as 'at 30 you shouldn't have prolapses like a 50 or 60 year old woman' not quite sure what she meant by that.

So I'm feeling really miffed that after waiting all that time for the appointment and then an additional hour and a half thats what I got :( Plus I'm incredibly sore, red and tender today - she said I'd had a graze there but I can't say I noticed it before and I'm hoping she hasn't done any actual damage.

I did show her the wholewoman book and the nurse assistant seemed quite interested and wrote the details down :) But wow, what let down after all the time i've waited and can't believe I was subjected to some of the very things I wanted to avoid by having my lovely gentle home waterbirth. Not sure I even want to go back in the 4 months.

Patricia

October 12, 2007 - 6:14pm

This is absolutely unacceptable behavior from a physician, assistant, nurse or anyone! I would try to start fresh with someone who is more on the same page as you, or at least in the same book!

You have a lot going on with a new baby, taking care of yourself, nursing, etc., you sure don't need the folks who are supposed to help you adding to the list of worries and potential problems!

If it is too much right now to find someone new, try being very specific and ask questions about who you will be seeing when you make your return appt. If it's the same person, be prepared to walk out! I know this sounds harsh, and it takes courage, but why subject yourself to such poor treatment? I'll bet you and/or your insurance company paid a pretty penny for that visit too!

Should you decide to start over with someone new, ask for a short "meet and greet" appointment first. They are usually only 15 minutes or so, but quite often the charge is minimal. Prepare a list of important questions, stick to the list and write down the answers for later reference.

Hope this helps. Sorry if it's too blunt.

Enjoy that beautiful new baby :)

Take good care of yourself. You're the only who can!
Patricia

Soupy

October 12, 2007 - 6:19pm

I'm in the UK so not sure how the system works I think we just get whoever is local if you see what I mean. Having written it down here, I feel I need to be complaning and will definitely be doing so but there's always a fear of complaining about the people who are supposed to be helping. Especially if I'm stuck with them, so by complaning I probably won't be able to go back.

MeMyselfAndI

October 13, 2007 - 3:59am

Alot of doctors here are like that!
I am not sure what area you are in - When I went my Gynae was not there so I demanded to go bac when he was and speak to him - He is a nice man and he really listens and that is what you NEED.

I really feel some of these people have a God-complex going on like they know all and we are just stupid. Well unfortunately for them - Some of us value our bodies and no not wanna be treated like a bit of meat...

Write directly to your Gynae (He may very well work at your local BUPA - There you can get his email address and if he is as nice as my Gynae he will email you back and possibly even phone you like mine did for ages)

Good luck :-)
Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

blythe

October 13, 2007 - 1:12pm

Hi Soupy

Sorry to hear you had such a traumatic time at your gynae appointment, when what you need is understanding and kindness at this time.

Did you go through your GP to get the gynae appointment? A lot of GP surgeries are now offering a system whereby you have a choice of a few hospitals you can go to in your area. Go back to the GP, say you would like to choose another gynae and ask his/ her advice as to which gynae has got good feedback from other patients. If you haven't already and your GP is a practice or surgery, perhaps go to a female GP as chances she might have seen and referred more women and therefore have this information.

Hope this is of some help .

Frankie x

granolamom

October 13, 2007 - 7:50pm

I'm sorry, soupy, that you had such an awful experience
postpartum women need extra tlc from their gyno's
and I abhor that line, about how you shouldn't look like a 50 or 60 yo women. of course many 50 and 60 yo women look amazing, probably better than me, but the implication is so negative when said in that context. as if you need negativity. well, pooh on them (to borrow a phrase from my 3 yo).

and ((((hugs)))) to you

wenz

October 13, 2007 - 9:19pm

You poor thing and your dh having such an ordeal. Honestly, I think some of these people get their quals off cornflake packets !! If it's any consolation there are good doctors out there. I live in NZ. I went last week to have my smear and boy did I get a really down to earth lovely woman doctor to do it. I couldn't believe how pleasant and well informed she was. It was like talking to one of our lovely ladies here on this forum. My prolapse has improved in the last 2 years to the point that surgery is out of the question. She said that my cervix was a fingerlength in at least, ie nowhere near the introitus, and she also said that surgery doesn't stop prolapses from returning which is the first time I've heard a doctor say that. So, take heart dear Soupy, and I so envy you your little babe, I am in the grandmother stakes now, no more of my own. But if I get one of those there grandbabies, I'll be in seventh heaven. Laugh. Lots of hugs and good wishes to you.
Wendy

alemama

October 17, 2007 - 2:57pm

wonderful about your homebirth. and my greatest sympathies for your awful visit. Man these people have totally forgotten about earning respect-