For ATS...

Kit, what a truly lovely lady you are. Thank you so much for that - it is truly beautiful. I am typing this through tears.

I did not mean to worry you and I am so sorry I caused you a sleepless night. Maybe I should not have written that post but I just did not want to keep upsetting people with my depressing ramblings. I just hurt so much at the moment and I know you and all the ladies on here understand that pain all too well. I wish there was a cure for us all.

I am trying so hard to find my inner strength, it just seems to be buried very deep at the moment. I keep going through old postings to find inspiration and hope and I promise I will stay around and keep fighting.

Thank you so much and I am so touched by your post.

((((Hugs))))

A

I'm short on time - to even read, but have taken in enough of these recent letters to be just over-whelmed with the beauty in spirit that I see in you both. I'm just at a loss for words. I have to go sew and will be meditating on the pure act of supporting and allowing others to support, (this morning I had a deeply comforting conversation with a stranger- about connecting) and am deeply re-evaluating my distorted view of what it means to need help and allow it in OR to even ask for it. You are both demonstrating the tremendous gifts that both "polarities" hold. Yes you've been on my mind A - and yes I'm "worried" about you , but I care and value you, as you have given me so much by sharing. By caring about you, I get out of this dreadfully selfish place I've been, and by having compassion for you , I don't feel quite so ugly in spirit. SO - See ? I think I'm just beginning to.
Thoughtfully ,your friend - Zelda

Sorry this reply is so late but I was in bed when you last posted!

I am not very good at the pep talks but I am sending you BIG (((((HUGS)))) and love. I am thinking of you and I am right there with you during these really difficult times.

I hope today you feel more uplifted in more ways than one!

You write such beautiful words and I am sorry I cannot do the same. I am sure someone else will jump in who is far more articulate than I.

Thinking of you.

A

You have just brought my attention to Zelda's post and I have forgotten to thank her for a lovely posting. You are all in my thoughts as we are all on this journey together, its just a shame it wasn't a nicer journey that brought us here.

I do hope you are feeling better Kit and Zelda how are you doing?

I agree Kit, please anybody else jump in when you feel like with lots of positive thoughts.

I am trying very hard to bend over at the hips with this cough and sometimes I get down on my knees and elbows but there are times it takes my breath away and before I know it I have put tremendous pressure on the pelvic area. It never rains but it pours eh?

Hopefully it will pass soon and I can get back to concentrating on the posture and moving forward.

((((HUGS))))

A

Hi A and Kit,

I'm in the middle of a project now and can't write much.

A...read Jane's (fullofgrace) posts. She, too, believed her prolapse was connected to a previous c-section, but went on to experience a wonderful home birth and is pregnant again! She has found the postural work to be very effective for her primary cystocele as well as her rectocele.

Kit...chin up!...you need to stay focused and believe in your own body. Things do move around but once your body/mind knows where your point of stability is, a psychological shift will happen and you will no longer be afraid.

There is no cure for this - neither surgical or natural - but so many women have found great improvement once they are permanently living in their natural shape.

So many hugs to you both!

Christine

Hi Kit:
Just curious - what do mean by menopausal vaginal irritation? Can you explain in more detail? And what are you doing for it?
Thanks - Goldfinch

Hey girls,
I don't want to apologize for having such a busy life - but I do. I wish I had more time to read and write with all of you. Know that you come with me in my thoughts and I have these wonderful revelations - brought on by these precious connections we make. I wish I had this computer everywhere, lately I just stay logged on so I can jump on and read. I have twinges of guilt because I get so SO much from reading... sometimes it feels voyeuristic to read and not always write. The writing has been most relieving. Glad I don't seem to feel guilty for That... I know I haven't held much back.
I am struggling with how to take care when I Can't slow down. Have images of smoking parts falling off at the side of the road... like driving a broken down car down the interstate at 80mph 'cause you still gotta get there. And maybe just a little because you're mad as hell at the car for breaking down... a little punishment perhaps ? We'll see. I'll be the acid test for "Can't slow down".

I'll keep y'all posted.

Some new developments on the home front. My husband and I had our first heated argument since reconciling- went well considering our past frustrations communicating and how irrational I sorta feel. Clonmacnoise spoke of her mother actually holding her struggles with this against her, like it's a self-inflicted choice she's made. Boy - did that resonate. My husband definitely feels surgery is my only option, the more I suffer (AND SHARE) the more obvious it seems to him. Kind of a catch-22 with our loved ones , Eh ? So - all these highwire acts my life has turned into. I'm back to thinking this is a woman's topic, my man should be kept out of most of the loop.
I do seem to be shifting back to my natures inclination... an almost pollyana-ish optimism (full of denial?). I realize that how I frame my thoughts is essential to the success of the outcome. So am I going to continue to explore or even nurture my fears ? Or am I going to rise up and defy this adversary ? Today I'm rising. I suspect I'll have more of my dark days, but when I think about it there is the comforting knowledge that I can throw myself into this crowd and you all- in your own ways - will catch me. I've never experienced this before. I am profoundly grateful and have also just sat and cried as I read these letters. But not bitter tears. Cleansing , healing tears.
Zelda

I too have vaginal irritation that at times feels like a burning sensation. I've had this since I went into menopause about 4 years ago. My former gyn also recommended estrogen cream, and I did try it for awhile. It burned for the first 30 minutes, but then the burning sensation went away. (I no longer use the estrogen). I've tried Replens, and the same thing happens. When I use it, I put it in at night. By the time I wake up the next morning, the burning is all gone. My dh's semen also burns (ouch) more so then the creams, but again, it goes away in a few minutes. I guess it all has to do with the PH of the tissues. Kit, have you ever tested the PH of the aloe vera and vitimin E solution that you are using?

Here's what I started doing while on vacation. I was not sure how 'internal' I was allowed to get with the Vulva Balm, so every morning after my shower I used KY jelly internally and then Vulva Balm on my 'v' opening. If I needed more Vulva Balm during the day, I used it again. My prolapse seems to rub on me and all of this lubrication makes it feel much better. But it doesn't clear up the problem.

I agree with you that the medical professional should be able to come up with something else for women to use instead of dangerous hormones.

I've resigned myself to finding ways to deal with this condition and just help myself be more comfortable.

I had dinner Friday night with a dear friend. We were discussing our various health issues. She just started full menopause, and is dealing with several terrible problems, some related to menopause and some not. While driving home I realized that, while my prolapse is so UNWELCOME in my life, I have the fortitude and the will power to learn about it, adjust my life to manage it, and to ultimately life a happy and fullfilling life in spite of it. Life is too short and too precious to let this thing get me down. I could write pages about what I have already dealt with - ie: miscarriage, divorce, being in the hospital for 6 weeks with a jaw bone infection, etc, etc, etc. But that is all in the past....the sun is out today, I have a full day planned, and I will be happy!

I thank Christine and everyone on this forum for their willingness to share their knowledge with us all. It is a HUGH part of the process of coming to terms with this condition.

And thank you, Kit..... I'm going to try your formula. I'll let you know how I make out. Goldfinch

Hi Kit

Yeah, just been through the same thing myself. It developed into 'thrush' so I did the single capsule treatment, it went away then came back. I had a smear cultured, and yes it was thrush. Then I took a different type of single capsule on Dr's orders, used Ecovag (vaginal propbiotic capsules), kept going with the oral probiotic for the month course and dropped all the sugar, fruit, yeast, fermented foods, brewed foods, possible fungi and moulds, nuts, seeds, wheat, dairy (except natural yoghurt). That didn't leave much for me to eat for the week. I did this for a week then went back to my normal diet, but limiting sugars and refined grains. So far, so good, and I still don't know what fixed it. I also went without knickers as much as possible to avoid contamination from knickers, and for good ventilation, and used a vulva balm to keep the vulval surfaces from rubbing against themselves.

I think the dryness is one of the contributors and probably too much penetrative sex, but I am hoping that a diet lower in sugars and simple carbohydrates will help keep the irritation at bay. My menstrual cycles are long at the moment, and I seem to be perpetually in a long second half of the cycle with dry vagina, and feeling a bit bloated with a low cervix. I think that should change when my periods finally stop. Here's hoping. And here's hoping it doesn't happen again soon. The previous time was 2 years ago, but I got rid of it much quicker this time.

Cheers

Louise

Thanks for the tip, Kit. I will pass it on to my friend today! I've never personally had to deal with hot flashes - why, I truly do not know!! Maybe it's the vitamins that I've taken for the past 30 years. I also take a Probiotic every morning and Vitamin E, along with other vitamins and minerals. When my daughter got the chicken pox many, many years ago, I took a vitamin E capsule, poked a hole in the end, and put a drop onto each pox twice a day. She consequently does not have any scars from the chicken pox. Vitamin E is amazing!

I'm starting to test out the diet part of dealing with my prolapse. My husband and I don't eat much red meat, mainly fish and chicken, and many nights we have meatless meals. But I've decided to try eliminating certain foods (dairy, 'bad' carbs, white flour, etc.) in different combinations to see what happens. I really believe that diet will contribute to successfully living with this condition. Finding what works for me is the challenge.

I ordered the bundle package from Whole Women and have Christine's 'Diet For The Whole Woman' notebook. It is full of tips and recipes and just requires me to find time to start and read it, which I am dedicated to doing soon (hopefully) :-)

I love reading your posts also, Kit. I've gotten so much inner strength from all of these women and from you! This is the first place I go to whenever I get on my computer. I feel like you are all my friends - and how strange to have never met any of you face to face!

As I am writing this, I saw my first Junco of the season out the window. Junco's fly south for the winter, so I know when I see them here that winter weather is around the corner. Nature contines on her wonderful schedule - I take comfort in these little things. They remind me that I am a small part of the universe, and that my problems can be dealt with by me, no matter what.

Take Care, Goldfinch

Hi Kit

I avoid antibiotics like the plague, and didn't have any prior to this thrush outbreak. It came from nowhere, but as soon as it started I got started on a month course of oral probiotics, just to try and balance the whole system again. Not sure that they worked terribly well. They were Inner Health Plus www.innerhealth.com.au . They need to be kept refrigerated.

The vaginal probiotic was EcoVag, www.ecovag.com.au . I don't know whether or not that worked either. There are ten capsules in the canister, one to be inserted in the vagina every night for eight nights. The gel capsule just melts overnight and releases the bacteria into the vagina. I think it worked in the vagina, but the thrush seemed to persist around my vulva for longer.

I also found aloe vera (read about it in a couple of places as well), which is so soothing. I just break off a lump of leaf and squash all the gel out of it and apply it with my fingers to vulva and inside the vagina. No stinging or anything.

The vitamin E cream I use is Invite E cream, available here, Online pharmacy . I do find it stings for a couple of minutes after application but it is very spreadable and it does fix vaginal irritation from chafing, overnight.

I use Wholewoman Vulva Balm instead now because it doesn't sting.

And Wholewoman Bliss Balm is just loverly when my vagina and vulva are very dry, as well as for sex. I have also been using WW Vulva Balm and WW Bliss Balm since the thrush cleared up, so now I know definitely that it doesn't cause thrush.

I haven't tried Replens yet, but it may be another ace up the sleeve.

During the thrush outbreak penetrative sex was just *not on*. I wasn't actually feeling very sexual at the time. Can't work out why ??? LOL

I don't have a definite connection of vulva problems with diet either. Just gut feeling on the basis that lots of simple carbohydrates in the system have to put pulses of sugar into your blood. I figure that reducing the sugar spikes and keeping the food in my stomach for longer (whole grains) should even out the blood sugar a bit. All systems in nature seem to work better if they are relatively stable so I figure that all my good microflora will have an easier time if I am not feeding the baddies with blood sugar spikes on a frequent basis, so they can't get out of control as easily. Very unscientific but I figure that my body is better off if I eat a more primitive diet. It is certainly not going to do me any harm, that's for sure.

Re penetrative sex, it was good to get back to it. Very good for the soul, and good for prolapses. Useful stuff! I just wish my man would take his time a bit more. (Sigh...) still, can't have it all.

Re coughs, colds and other disturbances, I think they do stir up the equilibrium, and certainly put the immune system to the test, as well as making you feel rundown. I didn't have any coughs and colds at the time, but it is springtime and the grasses were all flowering. I had been working really hard in the garden, so I was pretty exhausted at the end of each day, and was getting pretty full in the head. I eventually did come down with a repiratory wog that first robbed my of my voice, then travelled up and ended up with blocked sinuses, but didn't make me feel off-colour.

So my body has had battles on several fronts, and something was bound to give.

However, I think I must be now a bit physically fitter a few weeks down the track. Head is still stuffed up, but no sign of thrush and irritation, in spite of vaginal dryness. I think another period is just around the corner.

I think that's all the details you asked for. Hope it all settles down.

Cheers

Louise