Cystocele and panic setting in...

Submitted by howdidthishappen on November 10, 2007 - 6:51am
Body: 

Hey Everyone:

Been quite a while since I've posted here -- just about a year since I was initially diagnosed with a rectocele and cystocele. Let me say to anyone struggling with the rectocele - which was definitely more problematic to me than the cystocele -- diet and posture helped that ENORMOUSLY and I went from experiencing initial pain with it, to none. That has been great.

But now...

ugh.

The cystocele. A problem.

Though I'm not experiencing any leaking at this point (which was a problem for me months back) in the last few days, it has shifted and I feel it and see it peeking through and there's this weird sensation that I can only describe feeling like a vagina fart that won't shift. (i know that sounds freaking CRAZY but it's just what it feels like!) I am trying hard not to freak out, but not doing the best job with that. Started up with the firebreathing yesterday, paying careful attention to posture. Will be getting some balms. What I need right now is to hear from women who have experienced the physical discomfort, have had the peeking down and have also been able to stabilize it. I really need to be reminded that, like the discomfort of the rectocele, this, too, can be shifted with time and attention.

I am trying not to beat myself up with the fact that, yes, I had gotten lazy with careful attention to posture. But I'm having a hard time with that.

Thanks for any and all support.

xsusan

blythe

November 10, 2007 - 8:14am

Hi Susan

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch.I appreciate that all our bodies are different but I would like to share my story with you and hope it helps a bit.

Before adopting the Whole Woman way of life 6 months ago, I had the feeling that I sometimes neither quite fully emptied my bladder, nor had good urine flow. Looking back I also sometimes experienced the peeking feeling without realising what it was, though I never looked! The trapped air/ bubble feeling also made its appearance now and again! What has really helped me is the posture, exercises on First Aid DVD - specifically the side leg lifts and back leg lifts as I could feel these working almost straight away to lift things inside, - and definitely semi squatting on toilet, NEVER fully sitting. Changing my clothing so I didn't have pressure on my belly and my organs weren't getting pushed down was also a great move. Six months later I completely empty my bladder, urine flow is how it used to be, peeking feeling has gone and also with it the air bubble sensation. I do from time to time have the sensation whereby my urethra feels 'hypermobile', and slightly burns if you know what I mean, but nothing like it was.

You can do it and you will get there, like you have managed your rectocele so well.

Wishing you well

Frankie x

howdidthishappen

November 10, 2007 - 9:00am

thank you so much, frankie, for responding so quickly. it bring tears to my eyes, reminding me of the great value of the women here helping each other. and i had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN sbout the dvd which, of course, i OWN! YEESH! see, this was exactly what i needed, also to hear your story. thank you so much for sharing that with me. again, great reminder of the power of this work and the positive outlook that i crave.

thanks a million times over. i'm going to get that dvd out right now...

xs

kit

November 10, 2007 - 11:11am

Yes, xsusun, I know exactly what you are talking about and what a frustrating, irritating, never-wracking sensation it is. I hate that you're experiencing it, but it is also comforting to know that someone else knows what I'm talking about. Mine came about after a bout of heavy, deep coughing and took weeks to sort out. I know now I did exactly opposite of what I should have done while coughing, but I had not found this site and just didn't know better. The first week was horrible. I really think the coughing moved things enough and irritated the skin enough to cause a crisis in that part of my body. I had the moving air bubble sensation and I also had an itching/nerve like sensation to the point I desperately wanted outside of my body. I said out loud "I can't live like this." Mine was also compounded by menopausal dryness. Oh, I walked the floor so many nights!

Oatmeal baths helped me (cook the oats in pot of water and strain the oat broth into the tub), also used vitamin E and aloe to sooth the area. I also started using ice-packs (wrapped in towels), they really helped to calm things. It took weeks to sort out but it is finally better as long as I keep the area lubricated. It was a wicked experience. No one warns us of things like this!

Exercise really bothered mine during the crisis period but I can exercise again now.

Good luck to you and know you're not alone in this. Kit

howdidthishappen

November 10, 2007 - 1:10pm

Thank you, Kit, for the response -- again, it's so so soothing for me to hear other women's stories and to be reminded that this can (and will!) shift. I just need to hear it again and again and again. And again!

Did that dvd workout this morning (thank you again for that reminder!) and had a great consult with Christine (always awesome) and I feel (somewhat) less freaked out. As Christine reminded me on the phone, though, this IS something that will forever be a part of my life. I need to remember that and do my best. I know these last few months have kept me so busy that I have not been tending to myself as I need to. It's hard, but I think many of us have quite full lives so I'm sure that's a common struggle. But I need to get back to the basics and build from there.

Thanks so much for the support -- and, greedy woman that I am, always happy to hear some more! :-)

xsusan

blythe

November 10, 2007 - 2:56pm

that you are feeling more positive Susun. I am happy to help in anyway that I can in the same way that I have been helped by the many wonderful women of this forum.

You are so right when you say that we have our POPs for life. It is easy to forget the basics when we are caught up in our daily busy lives and when we are having good days. At first I had difficulties in trying to incorporate the changes and making time for me, and sometimes still do whilst looking after two younguns and the home. However the posture, daily DVD exercises and firebreathing, position on toilet have now become second nature. The new quest is to find rest time! The way I have come to see it, is that you need to look after yourself as much as you can, so that you can be there for and look after others.

Sending you lots of healing vibes.

Frankie x

granolamom

November 10, 2007 - 8:35pm

nice to 'see' you again!
yes, I've had that trapped air thing too. and yes, its gone now.
I think that the big lifestyle change for me was learning to take care of myself. in the months before my prolapse made its appearance, my body was slowly sending me signs to take better care of it.
a bad respiratory infection
strep
a breast lump
occipital neuralgia
slowly I was falling apart, until I really did begin 'falling apart' and found a cystocele and then, thank the Heavens, found this site. and started taking care of myself the way I should. someone else posted that she does not have the lifestyle that allows her this ritual, but for me, this 'ritual' is LIFE itself. and when I get lazy (we all do) or stop prioritizing my own needs (we all do that too) my bladder will speak up loud and clear. I heed its warning, retreat to some stress free space, take a bath, a long walk, do some firebreathing and the plie's are fantastic! and everything goes back to baseline in a few days.

so chin up! you'll be ok. its just your body looking out for you.

((hugs))

howdidthishappen

November 12, 2007 - 5:03am

big hugs back to you, granolamom...

thank you so much for your words. i, too, read the post from the woman who had had surgery recently who felt she didn't have the "time" for the self care and ritual, as you so beautifully put it. as i've recently gone back to work, i am stuggling with that issue myself, but, as opposed to that woman, the "surgical" route is simply not one I am willing to go down. at all. for ever more. and so, as you rightly put it, i do need to heed my body's call and refocus myself. and trust that there will be a stabilization and retreat of my bladder when i make the energy to retreat to my own body, which is what i am doing now. does that make sense?

and thank you too, granolamom, for the reminder that we all stop prioritizing sometimes -- i've really been hard on myself with this one the last few days.

oh! and one other thing! i realized the night before my bladder started to peek, i had gone out that evening with a tightish undergarment on (have not done THAT for over a year!) squeezed things out, in my opinion! i have since thrown virtually ALL things like in the garbage and just want to remind you other women to throw that crap away (though most of you probably have already...WHAT WAS I THINKING, GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!! I feel like an idiot admitting this, but there it is.)

the reassurance from you feels like a warm bath to me -- as do all of you who have rallied with support. thank you. i can't tell you how much i needed this.

xxxxs

alemama

November 12, 2007 - 6:24pm

susan, If I remember correctly you like exercise.....I don't know if you have seen the post about the ab isolation exercise-but if I look at my prolapses in the mirror while I do that exercise they go away. After a few minutes of it they stay gone for a while- now my cystocele is gone and I am working on my rectocele-
which btw is in sorry shape right now and whaaahahahahahhahah. I had an upset stomache for a week straight and it really made my bulge much bigger- but in no time I know it will be better (or I will freak). anyway -know that I think of you often and wonder how you are feeling. Sorry to see you back here posting- but glad to hear from you again. Suck that little bladder back up.

howdidthishappen

November 13, 2007 - 7:56pm

Hey alemama!

Hey mama!

So good to get your feedback. And lord knows I really need it because, shit, if this isn't causing me alot of problems. I've just been so damn uncomfortable these last few days -- it's stressing me out like crazy, which, no doubt is not helping the bladder cause!

I read your post about the exercize and I'm not getting it. At all. Can you help me at all with this. My panic has receeded for a few days there, but has been back like crazy today. (I'm also pre-menstrual which is, undoubtedly, not helping the prolapses.)

HELP!

xxs

alemama

November 14, 2007 - 12:43pm

on youtube- try stomach vacuum.