Too old for pregnancy?

Submitted by nervousnelly on November 8, 2011 - 8:21am
Body: 

I am a healthy reasonably fit 42 year old mother of 3. I had 3 great pregancies and normal deliveries. I was blessed with three big babies which took it's toll on my body post delivery. After the third I have that bulging sensation in my vagina that you all talk about esp if tired and at certain times in the month but can control it with exercise and good diet. Christina finding this site was a Godsend. I lost our fourth child last year at 20 weeks when no heartbeat was detected at our scan. I was completely devastated and heartbroken. I was angry with my body and felt that it was not how I wanted that part of motherhood to end......While I was nervous about the pregnancy it was very much wanted. Now I feel much stronger mentally and physically, I have recently moved to the US and love the positivity here. I would love to have another child and my husband would too. Two big fears, my age and the concern that pregnancy and delivery could leave me worse off. know there are no magic wands but I don't see many older mothers here in the US? Will the medical profession scorn me? Help!

granolamom

November 8, 2011 - 9:03pm

well, I find the term 'advanced maternal age' scornful, especially since they begin to use it at age 35 or so.
age does have statistical significance when applied to pregnancy, there are no guarantees in life whichever way you slice it. If it were me, and I felt mentally and physically strong, if both myself and my husband desperately wanted it, I'd go for another one.
I know lots of 'older mothers' but apparently I am in the minority here. its not unheard of in my circles for a woman to be pregnant at the same time as her daughter (not common, but not unheard of). so long as you trust your health care provider to provide good quality care, who cares if the medical profession at large is scornful?

alemama

November 8, 2011 - 9:48pm

and the thing is- it doesn't look great, what I could find about elderly pregnancy. But I'd probably do it anyway :)
My feeling when reading about it though is that 42 is still pretty young ( I know any age after 35 they call old but...). I read all about the world's oldest woman to have a baby at 72! and another woman in her 60s had triplets.
You probably won't get scorned by the midwives here, they see plenty of moms. And. I know a handful myself who had kiddos in the early 40s and the kids (all girls- actually I think that's one of the statistics- more girls are born to older men) are healthy and beautiful and two were actually born at home, unassisted.
I'm sorry for your loss.

bad_mirror

November 8, 2011 - 10:32pm

Scornful? Nah -- older moms are big business for the birthing industry in the US of A, what with all the extra testing that is generally "required" and the pushing of IVF treatments. I know loads of "old" moms in my area. I don't think anyone will discourage you, being 42 and having other children. Just beware it may be quite a fight to have an unmanaged birth. Homebirth may or may not be available to you, depending on where you live ( if this is even a desire of yours, that is). As for your body and prolapse, as long as you can have a gentle birth where you are in charge, I bet you will be absolutely fine!