I made myself a promise....

...that I wouldn't post on the forum for a year. I became one of the 'lurkers'. I tend to be more comfortable as a quiet observer and also, in the beginning, I didn't feel I had anything to add. Previous members had so perfectly articulated the darkness, fear and anger that I was feeling. The emotional toll an initial prolapse takes is quite universal and I actually found a great deal of comfort knowing that I wasn't the only one feeling the way I was feeling. I decided to dive in and only report back once I was a year into the work. I read the forum daily (often multiple times a day) and immediately purchased the book/video along with the 2nd and 3rd Yoga wheels. I attempt to spend every waking minute of my day in posture. I do catch myself slumping more often than I care to admit, but then immediately 'pull up' in to WW.

My story: 9 years ago I prolapsed (2nd degree rectocele) a few weeks after my 2nd child was born(I was in my early 30's). My obgyn (female) would have happily helped me climb up on her OR table 6 weeks pp. My urogyn (male) strongly DIScouraged me from having surgery. Fortunately I did nothing and just naturally healed enough in those pp years that my prolapse became relatively insignificant. Sadly, I did not come across WW at that time (or if I did, I have no recollection of having done so- this was late 2004)

Fast forward 8 years- My anterior wall prolapsed (most likely a 2/3 urethrocystocele- it is not out of the vaginal opening, but does peep at its lowest). In those intervening years, I had done a fairly decent job managing my chronic constipation (since childhood) but in hind sight, since I continued my suck/tuck stance, any management was going to be limited. Because of the flawed way that I carried myself, my intestines continued to be squished and therefore unable to function smoothly-there is no way it could have been otherwise.

The improvements over the last year have been significant. This work demands that we change how we have moved and carried ourselves for likely decades. It requires, especially in the beginning, a great deal of physical effort and energy as well as mental energy. And there may not be(or at least there weren't for me) enormous improvements immediately. I found it required a 'leap of faith'. I stayed in posture day in day out with only the most subtle/incremental improvements.....at least in the beginning. I used to mark off the days...gradually as I became more used to the effort as a whole, I'd start thinking in terms of weeks...lately it's been more in terms of months. And now I'm at a whole year!!! Looking back- there is NO QUESTION that there have been very significant, profound even, changes......

1.) Skeletal changes- I have a very bad back dating back to an injury as a teen. Since doing this work, I have noticed that my back MOVES! My lower back at first would seem to 'pop' as I'd go about my day (twisting to look back as I'd back up while driving for example). Then I noticed movement further up my spine. I realized that my former posture had so compacted my vertebrae that it really didn't allow for much movement as I'd twist or turn in my day. I absolutely LOVE how it feels now- my spinal column is being almost elongated or 'stretched' as I walk in WW posture. The best way to describe this is that it feels like it's being 'aired out'.. I've only had 2 bouts of acute lower back pain in the last year and both were more mild and for far shorter durations.

My knees feel great! I've had 'bad' knees for a while now. I am a former runner (that sounds more impressive than it is- a hobby jogger really, but still, upwards of 5 miles/run for 25 years). I stopped running after my more recent prolapse. My knees no longer hurt. I suspect it is a combination of eliminating high impact exercise for the past year, coupled with the global healing WW has on the skeletal system. Maybe in time, I'll return to running- but only on toes and in WW posture as Christine so beautifully demonstrates on the 3rd wheel video.

2.) My prolapses. I now have some good days and lots more good times within the day than I had in the beginning. Far more frequently the bulge is higher. Once or twice (when all the stars/variables were aligned) I've felt the firmest, highest anterior wall- no bulge. Ahhhhh beautiful. I absolutely still have my bad days, but as has been written about so often, they follow my cycle and don't hit me out of the blue anymore. I LOVE the idea that I possibly haven't even hit my baseline. I LOVE that the improvements may continue as I work further to reshape the configuration of my lower pelvic/abdominal area.

My greatest daily challenge continues to be keeping my bowels in order. But again, as this first year of WW is completed, I find that I am more regular than I've ever been. I do splint on a daily basis, but oddly this doesn't bother me too much. In fact, I'm grateful that I have that option as I find it helps me have a more complete bm which just simply makes my day (and of course prolapses) better. I also look forward to lots of continued improvement in that area as well.

I had flare ups of some internal hemmorrhoids. I honestly can't remember when the last flareup was. (knock on wood)

When I prolapsed the second time (and for a few months prior- heavy sigh) I had pelvic discomfort. That continued during the first few months of the WW work. I have no pelvic discomfort any more.

3) Emotionally. Simply put- I have my life back. I rarely have the fear. I say rarely because sometimes, when I'm pms'ing and the bulge is low, the fear can creep in. BUT, the inherent RIGHTNESS of Christine's work sends it on it's way pretty quickly. This work allows me to know, deeply know, that I am doing all I can to keep my prolapses from getting worse and most likely have them continue to get better. I also know that I'm doing all I can to help my body age as healthfully as it can.

I didn't mean to make this such a saga and I know that I'll have more improvements (I'm sure there are some I've forgotten to add) along the way. I just want to send an enormous THANK YOU to Christine. I wish I had the words to fully explain just how deep my gratitude to you runs. (My husband thanks you as well. For starters, WW, in a very real way, gave him his wife back. Plus, he's pretty happy to know that sex makes the prolapse feel great! ;) Your work, and this forum, was my life line for much of this past year. An enormous thank you also to Louise, Surviving60, AG, wwuk,... And all the other ladies who give so freely of their time. A special 'shout out' to bad_mirror. I too danced for many, many years- though most amateurishly- her posts were beyond helpful.

gr8fl