New Here and So Grateful

Submitted by Desert Rose on March 23, 2015 - 10:39pm
Body: 

I’m new here.

My struggles probably began as far back as the birth of my fourth child in 1989. He weighed in at a hefty 11 pounds and 3 ounces. I’d go to the doctor and say how miserable I felt and he would say, “You’re pregnant, you’re supposed to be miserable. I’ll see you in a month”, and I would cry all the way home, only to repeat the process the next month. When my child was born, the doctor actually stood at the foot of the bed cussing because of his size. I said, “I told you I was miserable.” He just went on and on about wanting the NFL rights.

Nearly a year later I went to a different doctor (we had moved by then) and told him it felt like my insides were going to fall out. He laughed at me, changed the subject and began to ask me questions about my husband’s career and hobbies. He laughed at me and minimized me. I didn’t see another doctor again for a long time after that.

My body recovered, but I never ran or jogged again, because the feeling that things might fall out never went away. I wish I had found these materials way back then. I wish I could remember who that doctor was an look him up and have a conversation.

Fast forward to a exactly year ago. I had a very bad cold. I coughed hard for at least six weeks. Two months later I had either the flu or food poisoning and spent hours and hours violently sick every 20 minutes or so.

Ever since then I’ve been symptomatic. About the time I became symptomatic, my elderly father went into the hospital and then into a nursing home. I set aside my personal concerns to fly down and take care of him. It was a very long, painful process. In August came home derailed by grief and the months slipped by.

In spite of being an intelligent, educated woman, I honestly couldn’t get my head around my symptoms and didn’t even know what to call it. I know a lot about the human body, but I feel quite embarrassed by how little I know about the most intimate part of my self. I’ve run the gamut of emotional response. I have felt fearful to the point of terror, ashamed, overwhelmed and hopeless. And alone. I’ve felt so very, very alone.

I never denied what was happening, but I definitely avoided it. I’ve spent years dealing with health care professionals that have blown me off, minimized my struggles or made me feel like an ashamed small child.

A few days ago I made a decision that I would go see my doctor in April after I return from a music class and festival, and that spurred me on to figure out what language I would even begin to use to describe my struggles. I wanted to do the best I could do to side step being any more set up than I have to be. At this stage, I don’t actually have a diagnosis, but it’s obvious to me that I belong here.

I am deeply thankful that my google search led me to this website. Here I have heard the cries of other women and I know I’m not alone with my history, my symptoms, my emotions and my struggles with the medical community. I am quite sure that without this website, the materials and the forum that I would have been a sitting duck waiting to be pressured to consider irreversible surgery. I knew I didn’t want that, I just had no idea why it would be bad, or what I possibly would or could do for myself instead. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude that my delays strengthened me and brought me here. The last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions and efforts to absorb as much as I can from y’all.

I’ve ordered the Destination Prolapse Free program and am ready to get real – no more avoidance, I’m bouncing between hopeless and hopeful. I’m ready.

Thank you all for being here, and being so incredibly real.

Deborah

Forum:

ActiveandLapsed

March 24, 2015 - 1:24am

Hi Deborah
Well I'm sorry for your struggles and prolapse but how wonderful that this forum has already meant so much as have the women on here and our stories. Yes we are very real and yes this place can save you more than any doctor or knife can.

Enjoy your material and your journey with WW.

AL

Surviving60

March 24, 2015 - 4:03am

Hi Desert Rose - we are so glad that you found WW. Your story is like so many of the stories told here. Even as I was barely starting with this work, I realized I was one of the lucky ones, and as I look around me these days, I feel that more and more with each passing year.

So enjoy the journey and don't expect all the pieces to fall into place at once. You have so much information at your disposal now, it is hard for some of us not to overdo at first. Work on the basics of posture and use lots of visualization of your organs being held forward over the pubic bones. You will learn to love the way this posture makes you feel. It isn't a quick fix but a way to stabilize and maintain symptoms over time; a way to get on with all your normal activities without being gripped by that fear.

Very mindful posture walks were the key for me, in really grasping what this posture can do. That, and a kind of total immersion that it sounds like you are ready to undertake. Go for it! - Surviving

Pack Momma

March 24, 2015 - 5:35am

Hi and welcome to this forum. I consider myself lucky I have not been convinced to have surgery! If it weren't for this sight, I may have well considered it if all I had was symptoms that just got worse, and no hope, although my gut instincts told me not to agree to it. I suffer from cystocele, rectocele, prolapsed uterus and judging by the symptoms I wouldn't be surprised of enterocele. I had a 10lb 5 oz baby 14 years ago, and have dealt with a medical community that just does not listen. They have a preconceived notion if what you are facing and how dare we tell them anything different! And I'm not just talking about The pregnancy, which men know nothing of!! Years ago I was passing a stone, didn't know that was the source of my pain, went to the doctor. She said I was pms ing take some Motrin and go home and rest. Two days later I passed a stone, took it down to the office and made sure they all knew! My dad was in the hospital for one thing and while in thier care he had a stroke but the doctor didn't listen to me when I said he is acting different. His pupil was dilated, he could grab things well and couldn't even write, and that is not the way I left him last visit. That was years ago, in hind sight we should've handled that situation differently. I have to be my own advocate because the medical doctors don't listen! If it doesn't fit in thier cookie cutter notion of how it ahoukd be then YOU have it wrong! Ok, I think you can pretty much see how I feel about doctors at the moment, and tho that's not all, I will stop my little rant. You ARE in the right place. I got referred for surgery from my gyno, and I had in my mind that I didn't want it, but I took the card and didnt tell them and left the office. When I got home I went online and looked for non surgical options. I didn't honestly think there was, but it was worth a try right? Sure enough I found this site! I didn't hesitate to order and sign up for a consult for later on when I want it. While I am new here I have gleaned much already. Any symptom I am dealing with at the time I can find a thread on it and if I have a question I ask. People are quick to respond and love offering what worked for them. I hate how the medical community doesn't talk about this, and really disappointed that the gyno didn't even try to teach me anything. But I am here now! You will do well following the WW concepts just remember it will take time and celebrate the little victories!

BeingHuman

March 24, 2015 - 8:38am

hi Desert Rose welcome I'm new as well and after just a few days talking with women here and taking baby steps with posture I already feel like I'm on the right path to my new normal. There's a long journey ahead but you're in the right place.

Sierra

March 24, 2015 - 8:55am

Welcome, Dessert Rose. I've only been here about a month and completely understand how you must have been feeling and how relieved you must feel to have found this forum. Enjoy your First Aid For Prolapse DVD. I love mine. - Sierra

Desert Rose

March 24, 2015 - 8:34pm

Thank you, ladies. You're all so brave and so beautiful. I have more that I need to say. I'll write more soon. ::::crying in gratitude:::::

Aussie Soul Sister

March 25, 2015 - 12:47am

Welcome Desert Rose to the whole woman journey.

I started here nearly 3 yrs ago, knowing I didn't want surgery and managing for about 18yrs, not knowing that much about what was happening to me either.

I stumbled upon this site when I had worsening prolapse and hip instability with the start of crunching debilitating pain.

Christine's approach is so holistic that now I have much better balance, hip stability and pop management than ever I thought possible.

Welcome again,

Aussie Soul Sister

grannyof6

August 21, 2016 - 6:03am

Had this problem about 8mths after a day of heavy lifting over did it, felt something drop out.
Been afraid to move too much after that, had all the same feelings read about on here, felt my life was over. Finding this site has been a blessing, just to know that there is a life after this thing, and to know you are not alone. I am not keen on doctors and where we live now UAE I know they would want to operate because its money for them. I am not in pain just that heavy feeling after being stood up for while or when I finished doing any housework. I am 56 had 8 children , got 6 grandkids a African grey parrot, cat and some fish also a husband of 36 years :)

Surviving60

August 21, 2016 - 8:29am

Hi granny and welcome. Most of us will end up with some degree of prolapse eventually, so most likely yours has been in the making for a long time - your day of heavy lifting just put you over the top in terms of becoming symptomatic. Starting the Whole Woman work at this stage of your prolapse can be a very successful venture. You will learn that you can stay extremely active and do virtually anything that you want, once you know how to carry yourself, and learn a few tips and tools. So get started! - Surviving

Born2Bwild

August 21, 2016 - 5:11pm

About months ago I was told by a gynecologist that I had a prolapsed uterus. I am 66 years old, a mom of 3 adult children, fully menopausal and in pretty good health. The doctor said it was not a bad prolapse and she gave me a doughnut shaped ring pessary which I have been trying to use with not much success. The gyno also mentioned that maybe in the future I could have the mesh surgery which did not appeal to me at all. In fact, after reading up on the procedure and coming across this website, I am convinced that there is no way I will do it.

I have always been into alternative medicine and have had a great deal of success with exercise, supplements, herbs, acupuncture and massage. I am very leery of traditional medicine because I have seen too many people who were made worse instead of better after conventional treatment.

Anyway- I would like to share a few things with other readers that have helped me during menopause and now with the prolapse.

Herbs- Maca. This is from the root of a South American plant and I used it throughout peri-menopause and up to the present. Maca stopped my hot flashes when I was having them. It seems to help with sexual health as well and is widely available online and in brick and mortar stores.

Phyto (plant) estrogen- I have never taken Premarin or any of the other estrogens because I was afraid of blood clots. Plant estrogen is bio-identical and you can get all the good effects of estrogen without having to worry about the side effects that are mentioned on this site. Comes in pill form and also available online from different manufacturers. I don't know if it's OK to post the names of any companies. This is my first time posting here.

Tampons- in addition to the tampons that have been mentioned, there is a special non-absorbent tampon available to help women with bladder issues. I have found them to be great for my prolapse as well. They are available at CVS and elsewhere and I have found them to be much more comfortable than the ring pessary.

Thanks to everyone for all sharing all this great information.

Aging gracefully

August 21, 2016 - 6:17pm

Hi Born2Bwild and welcome,
I hope you are also looking into the whole woman posture. Not only is that what this site is all about, but it is a much better alternative to pessaries and tampons.
Please have a look around, and come back here with any questions you may have about this very important work.