Very scared

Body: 

Hi Ladies,

I am (again) in need of some encouragement.

A few days ago a new contender joined my bladder and my rectum in the competition to get out of my vagina: my uterus has dropped.

And as it is in the front wall above the bladder the new configuration is lots of wrinkly skin at the introitus hanging out a bit, a bladder squeezed in above and then my cervix. As it is not hanging I cannot really push it back... And the back wall is down. My vagina is just much shorter, maybe 3 inches or a bit less. It hurts when I walk and the sides inside hurt even when I am sitting like now. I have difficulty urinating.

My perineal body is also very sore and seems to have dropped somewhat.

Now, just a week ago I was so happy because I was virtually symptom-free. I started the exercises on the DVD 10 days before and they were really helping. And now this...

I am nearly 6 months postpartum and it is still getting worse while many of you here are very well at this stage...

The posture is now almost automatic except my abdominals. I still catch myself pulling them in sometimes. Could you please explain me how to breath properly? I understand from the book how not to but I am not sure of the right way. Maybe that will stop this crazy descent of organs. :-(

The other question I have is about firebreathing: is it normal to get air into my vagina at the end of each exhalation? I did not have that before...

I am scared. I have the following worries:
-I had a ECS with my first. Did it compromise my structures so much that they cannot improve?
-I had a very bad tear (from cervix to anus) with my second and my perineal body is reconstructed: is it why the WW posture does not work?

I know that noone can reassure me that all will be well... I know that Christine's method is the one that works but what do you do when even that one is failing for you???

Thanks for listening,
Reka x

I will really.

goodness, that's frustrating to say the least!

I'm not sure about the air in the vagina with firebreathing, but maybe if your organs are moving out of the way, that's why air is being sucked in. just a thought.

the breathing, when I finally figured it out seemed to help me significantly. unfortunately I've not been practicing it as of late and am back at square one, meaning I can't for the life of me remember how to describe it! I don't want to mess up and describe it all wrong, maybe someone else can be helpful here??

what is ECS?

a reconstructed perineal body may respond differently than one that hasn't been reconstructed. but keep in mind that so many of us have been through perineal traumas and interventions, each of us while so similar in anatomy, is unique and will respond to this work at our own rate. I know how frustrating it can be to experience set backs when others seem to heal so quickly.

I sincerely hope that this method is not entirely failing you. I hope that you can figure out how to best apply it to your specific anatomy, and at the very least, stabilize the prolapsing organs.

Dearest Reka,

I honestly don't know what to say without sounding like I am patronising you and saying don't worry, everything will be fine, though I deeply hope and pray that it will of course!

You sound like you have been, and are going through so much, first with the tearing and now with this. I am so sorry.

As usual Granolamom makes brilliant points and I think that what you could do at this point is try to first get a diagnosis so that you know exactly what you are dealing with. I know you don't trust your ob/gyn from previous posts, so why not find another one you do like and trust. I for one always feel better knowing exactly what I am dealing with, and often find that it is not as bad as I imagined. For example my recent swelling was a congested gland, not all the other things I was worrying about!

Try to rest as much as possible while continuing with the work. It must feel very discouraging I know, but the work can only support you ultimately, not do any harm, and it means that you are continuing to be proactive.

Considering I hadn't much to say I have done quite well as usual! :) I am thinking of you Reka and so hope that things begin to improve. I understand your fear too. Remember there are several women here who had extensive tearing like yourself and have responded well in the long term to this work!

Take care OK!

Love Michelle. xxx

P.S is ECS elective c- section?

When my bladder joined my rectocele in the "who can take up the most space in the vagina" contest, Granolamom told me that the good news was if/when my uterus joins the party it won't fall out because the cystocele and rectocele will keep it in. At first I felt a pretty sarcastic "oh great" but over the next few days I mulled that one over and it actually is pretty great. what a design. that said. I sat down after reading your post and imagined if my uterus did fall- you want to talk about a full on panic attack? I could have had one. Easily.
This body work, much like any other personal improvement work, sometimes gets worse before it gets better. My bladder came down and I was in misery. but it goes back up. and I can pull it up. and at some point I am pretty sure it will stay up.
What I am trying to say (and not very well) is that the uterus is a mobile organ. Just because it came down this week doesn't mean it will still be down next week.
So what you do when all you have tried doesn't work? take a break from it. And then try again.
I am so so sorry you hurt. Sitting, standing- both things you must do. Hey I read an old post once about comforting herbal steams for the vagina - maybe you can search for that old post. does it hurt when you are on all fours? I know it is silly but that is how I read and play most of the day. I also take breaks during the day and lie down for a little while and breathe.
I had a tear like yours- 4 years ago- and have had 2 babies since then - but it took a whole lot longer than 6 months to feel better. more like an entire year before it didn't hurt to wipe after I peed. give it time. Oh I also do downward dog during the day a lot. that seems to lift my uterus up for a few minutes and if I do it and then do the hands and knees thing it works for a long time.
I wish you could feel pain free.

Dear Granolamom, UKMummy and Alemama!

Your comments made me feel a bit better.
Things have improved a bit: my uterus stayed higher today the whole day and consequently my bladder was not so bad so peeing was easier.
It is still somewhat difficult to walk because of the constant rubbing sensation but I just rested more today. I did the exercises twice, did a lot of firebreathing and tried to stay positive. Also, we are spending this month with my family (we live in different countries) and my mum does not let me lift absolutely anything, not even the baby. Although I do not think that lifting her makes my prolapse worse it does tire me a lot as the 'little one' is over 20 lbs already. I play with her lying down and also nurse her in bed.

I will dedicate this month to rest and get better.

Thank you for your kind posts again,
Lots of love,
Reka

By the way ECS is indeed emergency C-section